May the odds be ever in your favor in trying to get through this article without getting all the THG feels...
Not only did sparks fly from the book’s release, but also when its movie adaptation came out in November of 2013, it was (and still is) hailed as one of the best sequels of all time!
Once upon a time, we reported that Draco Malfoy himself, Tom Felton, had attended the opening at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando and joined AOL’s In The Know for a game of ‘Fact or Fanfiction?’ and, in the standout moment from the Q and A, Tom Felton was asked: What did he think of Draco’s relationship to Harry Potter?
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Now anyone with even a passing glance to the franchise would see Draco and Harry a simple rivalry, a tale for the ages, but Tom Felton said, I’m quoting AOL here, “Harry was constantly crushing on Draco…He just couldn’t hide it.”
Let’s look at the facts:
- Draco and Harry do definitely have some tension going on.
- (Image Below)
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With this in mind we’ve decided to give you, dear readers, twelve literary couples that happened in an alternative universe. Taking twenty-four characters from all across literature, from different book series to classic standalone novels (copyright be damned!), we’ve compiled these characters into eleven distinct (and surely steamy) relationships that would have totally worked out…for the characters, at least. Trust us, we’re chemists here.
12-Bella and Count Dracula
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No more sparkling vampires, now Twilight‘s Bella Swan is getting an upgrade. Let’s face it: There’s a reason Bram Stoker called this novel Dracula and not Harker. Dracula’s got style, he’s got nice clothes, he’s not charm oozing from everyone pore.
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Heck, if Bella says “No, I’m married” then I’m asking Dracula out to get a nice love bite.
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Far before Twitter decided to give us the #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend fan campaign, we had the comic books. See Bucky died, Steve Rogers became a Commie smasher, and then the Commie smasher was retconned, and then the real Steve Rogers was thawed out from the ice.
Image Via The Mary Sue
But Bucky remained dead, and Steve was inconsolable in his grief over his best friend and partner in crime throughout the decades of Captain America comics. In fact, it was one of the most foremost elements of his character
Fans looked at this and took the small hop and believed that Steve’s profound sense of loss than met the eye
So Bucky came back. In fact, he came back as the Winter Soldier in a comic book called The Winter Soldier, and ever since then we’ve been clamoring for Steve and Bucky to get a little closer.
They’re perfect for each other. The two buddies have been with each other since the beginning and will continue to stay together “until the end of the line”. They’re both “men out of time” from 1930s Brooklyn and are war buddies with great rapport who totally get along. They have so much in common.
At least go on a date and see if there’s anything there.
10-Ahab and Captain Hook
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We have Peter Pan‘s Captain Hook, and this man has been through a lot. Yes, he’s trying to track down and kill Peter Pan like he’s an animal, but Peter Pan is an animal! This boy cut off his hand and fed it to a crocodile. Wicked, evil, and savage beyond belief.
Gregory ‘The Man with the Pecks’ Peck as Captain Ahab / Image Via The Guardian
Then we have Moby Dick‘s Captain Ahab who, like James Hook, wants to track down an animal whose savaged ships of all sorts.
But would they be searching for these monsters if they had, you know, found each other? Could their killer eyes turn into ones of passion and love if they only looked into each other’s eyes?
We here at Bookstr call out in a resounding, ‘YES!’
9-Boo Radley and Miss Havisham
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Charles Dickens’ gave us Great Expectations, which us the tragic story of Miss. Havisham. Left at the altar as a young lady, she has preserved her house as it was on her wedding day and lived there ever since, shut away from the world. She has a heart of gold, but no one has treated it well.
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Harper Lee gave us To Kill A Mocking Bird, which introduced the world to Boo Radley. Our Boo has lived in a house since he was a child, hidden from the world, but he has a heart of gold, giving young Scout a jacket on a cold autumn day.
If these two shut-ins have closed their doors to the world, would they open their doors for each other? Boo Radley most certainly wouldn’t leave Miss. Havisham at the altar, and Miss. Havisham wouldn’t let our precious Boo feel unwelcomed.
8-White Witch and Sauron
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Now this pairing might not be great for the world at large, but they would be great for each other. Both live in fantasy world, the authors who created them were in real life great friends, and both crave ultimately power.
While both skilled in the powers of magic, it wouldn’t take magic to get these two working side by side.
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Imagine it: the White Witch would kill all the lions and the hero in the land, freezing them in ice just in time…
Lord of the Rings Wiki – Fandom
…for Sauron to get to swinging his mace around
Talk about a power couple. The White Witch might even slip the One Ring of Power on Sauron’s little finger….
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Carlo Collodi’s Pinocchio grows every time he lies, and he’s made of wood, so lie a few times and cut off the excess, and Voldemort doesn’t have to be called He-Who-Must-Not-Have-A-Nose.
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Yes, Voldemort is a racist and a tyrant who thirsts for power more than a camel thirsts for water, but Pinocchio isn’t the pinnacle of innocence. After all, there’s a reason he’s cursed to have his nose grows every time he lies.
Plus, if he and Voldemort got together, Pinocchio can use his nose for…
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Prince Eric isn’t a good fit for Hans Christie Andersen’s The Little Mermaid. He has legs, Ariel is half-fish, and if she gets together with him then she has to abandon her family. That’s a bad move, Ariel.
Aw, he’s holding him / Image Via Pinterest
But if she wants to take a walk on the wild side and still remain in the ocean, she can always go with the shark from Peter Benchley’s Jaws. Call him what you will (I call him Bruce, but others have called him Jaws or Sharkie or even Craig), but he knows his way around the wide ocean and can show Ariel a whole new world under the sea.
Ah, they always say there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but at least these two fish found each other. Maybe that’ll be the new plot for the new Disney remake!
5-Mrs Robinson and Oedipus
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Mrs. Robinson from Charles Webb’s 1963 novella The Graduate is trapped in a loveless marriage. She’s only married to her husband because she got pregnant and needed to avoid a scandal, and thus she hooks up with young Benjamin Braddock. But Benjamin is only into her because he’s bored. He doesn’t love her.
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Oedipus from the seminal play Oedipus Rex has a thing for older women. Yes, he didn’t know he was married to his mom, but she was still older than him. So maybe we can avoid the whole I-gotta-pluck-out-my-eyes thing and just have Oedipus meet up and see where things go with Mrs. Robinson. She’s old enough to be his mom, and that should be enough for dear old Ed.
4-Paul Bunyun and Jack Torrence
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Straight from American folklore is the biggest and the best lumberjack in the business: Paul Bunyan.
Handsome! / Image Via Salon
Straight from the mind of Stephen King is Jack Torrence. Now Mr. King was quite unhappy with the changes Stanley Kubrick made in his film adaptation, so we’ll have a chance to mend things here.
In the book Jack Torrence has a roque mallet, so maybe Paul can give him his iconic ax. Plus, since Paul’s ax might be a bit big for Jack, he can buy one here and, once Jack has his iconic ax, well…
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Or maybe something more…
3-Katniss and The Chershire Cat
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This goes beyond the fact that ‘Katniss’ kind of, sort of, sounds like ‘cat’ and the Cheshire Cat is, well, a cat.
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For one, Katniss from Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games never really loved Peta. Two, Cheshire Cat from Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland knows his way around the block and would have helped her big time before, during, and after those pesky Hunger Games.
Plus, the Cheshire Cat is funny, and you know what they say….
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..and an evil clown, what could be better? We already know Pennywise has a thing for cars…
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So maybe it’s time for Christine to rev Pennywise’s engine.
1-The Grinch and Cat in the Hat
These two iconic characters from the Dr. Seuss universe are meant for each other.
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…but we all know it’s a much made in heaven.
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there is only one character death on this list, but it is the most heart-wrenching of them all, so as Katniss would say to Peeta, “Stay with me.”
What exactly is hot girl summer? I’m so glad you asked.
Hot girl summer is a term coined by fans of Megan Thee Stallion.
Image via Billboard
The rapper explained the movement to The Root:
“It’s about women and men being unapologetically them, just having a good-ass time, hyping up their friends, doing you.”
And that’s really all there is to it. Hot girl summer is about exuding confidence, and helping those around you love themselves in turn.
Now, which literary heroines deserve to strut their stuff and throw it in a circle all night this summer?
Wow, I’m so glad you asked.
1. Fleur Delacour
Image via Pottermore
Fleur deserved better. There I said it.
By the end of all the Harry Potter books, Fleur is married to Bill Weasley and the couple have three children together. That’s all well and good, but I feel like Fleur never got the chance to reach her full potential as the enchanting siren of temptation that her introduction in Goblet of Fire makes her out to be.
Plus, Ginny calls her ‘Phlegm.’ And that’s just not very nice at all.
2. Bella Swan
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Bella Swan is easily one of the most hated characters in literary history. But if you look past the painful internalized misogyny, and the general blandness, what’s left to hate?
The fact that she has a hot vampire boyfriend, and you don’t?
Jealousy is a disease, sweetie, get well soon!
3. Helen of Troy
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Helen of Troy is a very well known facet of Greek mythology, and has been written about thousands of times. However, in pretty much anything you read about her, she’s a boss.
She caused a 10 year war, and the deaths of over ten thousand men, just by being the hottest hottie in all of ancient Greece. That’s some real hot girl stuff (I’m, sadly, not allowed to swear).
4. Janie Crawford
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Janie Crawford is the main character in Zora Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God and, as a black woman living in North America during the early 1900’s, she suffers at the hands of almost every person she meets.
But, as we witness her life story, we see Janie’s liberation from the dictations of society. She bravely opposes those who try to limit her identity to her sex or race, and comes out the other side with the sense of self that had once been taken from her.
Maybe hot girl summer is when the pear trees blossom…
5. Lisbeth Salander
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Lisbeth Salander is similar to Janie Crawford in terms of the abuse she has suffered. And like Janie Crawford, Lisbeth seeks to defy those who have hurt her.
Hot girl summer is about loving yourself, and I think exposing a serial murderer and rapist after suffering through sexual assault yourself certainly falls under the proverbial self-love umbrella.
6. Wendy Torrance
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Wendy had a bad winter, there’s no denying that.
But now it’s summer, baby! Time to shed that cowboy cardigan, make your way down the mountainside, and dip your toes in the warm sand!
Wendy is newly single and ready to mingle with a man who loves kids and HATES wielding axes.
7. Katniss Everdeen
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Katniss is one of the first characters to come to mind when thinking of badass heroines, and that alone gets her a spot on this list.
Plus, if you’ve read Mocking Jay, you know that things get -erm- literally hot for Katniss… She’s earned a little time to relax and let her braid down.
8. daenerys targaryen
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Okay, I’ll confess. I’ve never read or seen Game of Thrones. Sue me. I’ve included Daenerys based on the research I’ve done about her character, but I won’t pretend to be an expert.
Instead of making an argument that might fall flat on the ears of dedicated fans, I’ll turn to this quote (I also don’t really know if this quote is a spoiler, proceed with caution):
“Do you know what kept me standing through all those years in exile? Faith. Not in any gods. Not in myths and legends. In myself. In Daenerys Targaryen. The world hadn’t seen a dragon in centuries until my children were born. The Dothraki hadn’t crossed the sea. Any sea. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms, and I will.”
9. Nancy Drew
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“Figure it out like Nancy Drew/Catch up quick like, Halleloo!/Who gon’ check me boo?/Not you!/I’m a pro!”
She’s smart and she knows it, and that is some real hot girl crap (is ‘crap’ any better than ‘stuff’?)
10. Elizabeth Bennet
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Okay, now it’s real hot girl hours. Possibly the most iconic hot girl of them all. Maybe the hottest of all the girls.
Elizabeth Bennet has all the men around town tripping over their heels in a rush to propose. She gets to turn down two proposals, and when someone asks her to refuse the next one she decides to say yes.
Having emotional depth, a complex psyche, and enough self respect to listen to your heart and do things on your own terms? That’s some real hot girl-ness (I’m sorry).
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