Toxic romantic relationships are a dime a dozen in media, but healthy couples are relatively rare. That’s why we should talk about the ones we do have, the ones that make us go, “I would love that kind of relationship.” They may not have everything figured out, but their love is still strong and beautiful, just like the ones in the list below.
Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice
They definitely started out on the wrong foot. They had refused to communicate and understand, relying on their preconceived beliefs instead of trying to understand who the other was. Elizabeth thought he was a snobbish, rude man because of his wealth and unfriendly demeanor, and he thought of her as a bumpkin and someone who was just like her mother, who would do anything to climb to the top.
But as they realized how wrong they were about each other, they worked to change. Darcy overcame his pride, Elizabeth overcame her prejudice, and they saw the deeper qualities the other had. The fact that they were not only willing to admit that they were wrong but then to actively choose to change and become better speaks volumes.
Lei and Wren from Girls of Paper and Fire
Lei and Wren were on different missions when they arrived at the castle and Women’s Court. Lei wanted to find her mother, who had been brought there years ago, and Wren wanted to overthrow the Demon King to free Ikhara, specifically to free the other Paper Castes from oppression. But their goals slowly merged, and their attraction was undeniable.
Wren found out that Lei’s mother had died, as Lei had suspected but didn’t want to believe. Despite knowing the pain it would cause, Wren chose to tell Lei to give her a sense of closure over finally knowing her mother’s fate. When Lei realised Wren’s dangerous mission, she demanded to be a part of it no matter what. They were willing to be there for each other regardless of any pain or consequences, and they sought to protect the other in any way they could.
Howl and Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle
Put a shy, soft-spoken, meek woman and a flamboyant, insecure, cursed man together, and what do you get? Sophie and Howl — in the beginning, at least. After Sophie is cursed and becomes an old woman and she comes to Howl’s castle, she starts changing, and then we see Howl changing as well. Sophie learns to speak up and stand up for herself and what she wants, while Howl learns to show his care for others and stop running away.
While they never exchanged a dramatic love confession, it was clear how much they loved each other. Howl worked to protect everything Sophie loved, even setting up her and the others in case he died while fighting in a war he hated to protect them. Sophie literally gave him his heart back and — in the movie — traveled back in time to tell him she could help him in the future. But it was also in the small actions: Sophie trying to make sure he took care of himself, and Howl believing in her more than she did.
Morticia and Gomez Addams from The Addams Family
Where to even begin with these two? It’s made clear from the beginning how much they love and care for each other and for their family. They don’t say things like “You never listen to me” or “You always do this” or anything. They have clear, healthy communication, and they’re deeply focused on the other — sometimes to the embarrassment of those around them.
They may be strange and outcasts, but they don’t mind because they have each other. Morticia and Gomez always voice how much they love and care about their spouse, and they frequently engage in acts of love, from spontaneous dancing to passionate kisses. But the most important part is that they completely accept each other; they don’t have to hide parts of themselves because their love is so strong and healthy. They don’t worry about their spouse leaving or getting bored because they know how much they’re loved.
Anna and Kristoff from Frozen
A naive, sheltered, bubbly princess meets a gruff, socially inept, loyal man, and romance happens. Well, maybe not that easily. Anna and Kristoff may have butt heads when they first met, but they learned to work with each other. Going through harrowing adventures is a way to quickly bond with someone, and that’s probably why they fell in love so fast. Their journey to find Elsa was full of wolves, mountains, an icy snowman named Marshmallow, and figuring out their growing feelings.
They usually go to the other with their problems before anyone else, and they’re committed to helping their partner solve problems or, if it’s more helpful, just listening. They may have small misunderstandings sometimes, but they work on communicating clearly and letting others know that they have their full support. They’re still individuals with their separate hopes and dreams, but that doesn’t stop them from helping and sympathizing when needed.
There’s a lot we can learn from couples like them, and I hope to see them more often in the future.
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