Are you sick of always losing your bookmarks? Well, it’s not entirely your fault. Most bookmarks are just tiny slips of paper designed to enter the pocket dimension between our couch cushions. And we’re tired of it! Get rid of those useless conventional bookmarks and try these unique alternatives instead!
Used Tissues
Much like Anne Shirley, we love crying over a good book. Any reader sitting down to a sad story is never far away from a box of tissues. So, hey, why not use tissues as your bookmark? They’re flat like most traditional paper bookmarks and are always readily available. Plus, your sticky snot tears will hold the pages together and keep them from separating!
Chloroform Rags
Is there a person in your life whom you suspect is reading your books behind your back? Do you swear that your place in a novel has been messed with every time you go to read? Introducing, chloroform rags! Soak a cloth in that (slightly) toxic chemical and leave it between the pages. That’ll teach those people to stop messing with your books!
Underwear (Clean)
Be honest with yourself: you’re never going to wear that lace thong your friend bought you as a gag gift. It’s not your fault that your everyday life requires more practical clothing choices. That’s what escapism is for! Next time you curl up with your favorite spicy romance, put that thong to use by marking your space between those sultry pages. Now your book will really feel sexy!
Another Book
If you’re anything like us, your TBR is getting completely out of control. Every time you walk past those book piles in your room, you feel guilty all over again for not opening those books yet. While they wait for their reading turn, why not finally put them to use and shove them into your other books as a bookmark? Sure, it’s clunky, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
Knives
Do you love the titillating scariness of horror novels? Of course you do — it’s exciting to feel dangerous! Embrace that danger and swap your old bookmark for a well-sharpened knife. Its flat surface is perfect for resting between the pages, and its sharp edge is ideal for defending yourself in the event that the monsters jump out of the pages, Jumanji-style.
Well, what are you waiting for? You’re not like other readers — you’re different and special. A manic pixie dream reader, if you will. And your bookmark should reflect your quirky personality. The more unhinged, the better!
Ready to ditch more parts of reader culture? Click here for another unhinged take.
Check out our Recommendations bookshelf on Bookshop.org to find more novels awaiting the perfect bookmark.
