People magazine may have crowned Jonathan Bailey 2025’s Sexiest Man Alive, but there’s one glaring omission that has fans seeing red — and not just from thirst-induced hypertension. His “slutty little glasses,” the very eye-cons that turned the internet into a puddle of goo, were nowhere to be found on the cover or the press tour. The world’s hottest man has ghosted his hottest accessory, and the betrayal burns brighter than his jawline. Keep reading before we spiral completely out of focus.
Jurassic Perk: The Birth of the Slutty Little Glasses
Bailey’s now-legendary minimalist wire-rims were born not on a runway but in Jurassic World Rebirth, where he plays a bespectacled paleontologist named Dr. Henry Loomis. The frames went viral the moment they appeared in trailers and premiere photos, with Bailey joking that the look caused a “hormonal explosion,” and crediting stylist Blakely Thornton with popularizing the term “slutty little glasses.” A nod to Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws, it quickly cemented its reputation as the internet’s favorite accessory of 2025.
In true chaotic-good fashion, Bailey leaned into the viral storm like a man who knew exactly what kind of monster he’d created. During the press tour for the movie, he turned the sudden fame of his character’s glasses into a fashion force for good. He has a charity dedicated to forging a world where every LGBTQ+ person can love freely and thrive without the burdens of discrimination, oppression, or shame. It’s called The Shameless Fund, and they’ve partnered with Cubitts to release a limited-edition pair of glasses titled “Loomis.” The charity gets 75% of the proceeds to continue supporting LGBTQ+ communities.
“Yeah, I think glasses can go a long way. So let’s have a summer of glasses,” Bailey said to Entertainment Tonight. But now autumn is in full swing, and it appears the romance is over.
The Great Spectacle Scandal of 2025
When People magazine declared Bailey this year’s Sexiest Man Alive, the internet combusted faster than a Bridgerton bodice in a ballroom, and fans rejoiced. But there’s a gaping, lens-shaped hole in the glossy spread. The photoshoot featured shirtless beach shots, soft knits in mid-removal, a beloved doggie, and steamy stares. And yet, his slutty little glasses were nowhere in sight. Not on his face, not in his hands, not even perched flirtatiously as one of the props.
How could such an important shoot snub this year’s most iconic set of frames? If Bailey’s eyes were the window to the soul, then those glasses were the stained-glass cathedral — and People left them out of the tour. Across the globe, lens cloths fell to the floor in despair.
Un-Framed and Unforgiven
That wasn’t a photoshoot — it was a cover-up! Jonathan Bailey may be the Sexiest Man Alive, but without those slutty little glasses, the honor feels half-earned and out of focus. Let’s be clear: the scandal isn’t who won; it’s who wasn’t framed in the spotlight. Somewhere, a pair of wire rims sits on a dresser, watching the world lust and celebrate without it. Hopefully, his next spread features both him and his vision of justice.
Bailey isn’t the only actor to play a hot disaster in little glasses. Explore more of them in my article Disaster Daddies in Slutty Little Glasses: A Love Story.
Many of the characters Jonathan Bailey plays are from book-to-screen adaptations of beloved books. Browse our bookshelf on Bookshop.org to explore those titles and more for your viewing and reading pleasure.
