Do you enjoy exploring books with power dynamics? You’ve come to the right place. Power dynamics in relationships are a set of rules that each person follows. These dynamics are consensual and play an important role in how the parties involved interact with one another. Let’s learn something new and get some new recommendations along the way!
What are Power Dynamics?
Power dynamics refer to the control in a relationship and how that control is distributed among the individuals involved. This is true of any relationship whether it be a heterosexual couple, a queer partnership, or even a network of polyamorous folks. Power dynamics can even flow into the bedroom and influence how partners interact with each other sexually with each person playing their role. In many communities, especially the queer community, these roles link closely with sexual preference.
Sexual preference as it relates to control can vary depending on the partner (relational or sexual; these may refer to different people), their mood, the act involved, etc. Let’s get into some of the control-based roles people can take. Remember these roles do not include every possibility.
Tops
A top is typically a person who is in control. They usually have the more dominant role and usually stay in that role in most situations. This more active role usually involves leading instead of being led. Often enough, this means that they are the givers and not the receivers if you catch my drift. Don’t be confused though; although being a top seems like they have all of the control, their partner must still consent to whatever is happening. Books like Muscling Through by J. L. Merrow, Not His Kiss to Take by Finn Marlowe, and The Emperor’s Wolf by J. C. Owens.
Not every top is the same, though. Some tops are actors that approach every scene like it’s an X-rated film. There are also the laid-back and easy-going kind, that are only concerned with making sure you get what you need. It differs depending on the genders of the people involved, their age, and their relationship dynamic outside of the bedroom.
Bottoms
A bottom is a person that chooses to follow instead of lead. They give all of their control consensually to their top. If the top is the receiver, the bottom is definitely the giver. There are situations, however, when the top decides they want the bottom to receive. The bottom, still relinquishing control, allow the top to give. I should mention that just because someone is a top or a bottom, has nothing to do with assertiveness or their activity level during sex. If you have a lazy top, the ones that sit back and let the bottoms do all the work, the bottom might take on a more active role.
Same as tops, not all bottoms are the same. There are several variations of bottoming depending on the circumstances. A couple worth mentioning includes the power bottom or the person that likes to dictate exactly how they want to be pleasured. In the BDSM community, this is commonly called “topping from the bottom.” There are also stone bottoms or bottoms that are firm on their preference to not give during sex. These bottoms are sometimes called “pillow princesses.” Books, like Take Care of You by Gianni Holmes and Waiting for You by Cora Rose, showcase bottoms in their plots.
Switches
Switches, otherwise known as verses, are people who switch between top and bottom roles. This depends on who they are partnering with at that particular moment, the gender of the person, or their mood. Some switches may lean heavily to one side or the other, but most of the time, they are more concerned with the fluidity of their actions. So, if their partner likes to bottom, maybe they’ll top or if they enjoy a Saturday night thrill with a strong top, they may slide into the role of bottom.
There are books that include switches or verses in their characterizations. Some of these include The Prince and The Siren both by Tiffany Reisz and Wishbone by Lauren P. Burka.
The important takeaway is as long as all parties are consenting adults and you negotiate beforehand, either for a sex scene or a relationship, it doesn’t matter what your sexual preference is. Additionally, if you like to read books that portray these relationships, there are plenty of them available for you. The titles mentioned in this article are only a small number compared to the multitude published.
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