Love is in the air, and in our world it seems it is always in the air. Our modern society — and must of our previous society — has a strange fascination with romance and love. Romance books are receiving a huge boom with TikTok and BookTok bringing in new titles and authors to the bookish community. Rom-coms are coming back with blockbuster hits like Anyone But You.
Just think of how often you are asked about crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners. How often are you asked when you’ll get married, if you want to be married. Think even more on how you are expected to want these things in life — those that land on the outside of these norms feel a sense of misplacement in our society’s standards. These romances are expected of everyone, but to many … romance isn’t as it frames itself. Romance doesn’t only swoon us, but it swindles us as well. It has been taking our minds and hearts for years and demanding our self-worth in relationships and intimacies. Otherwise … we feel lost, lonely.
This is where anti-romance enters the scene. Anti-romance takes this standard expectation of love in our world and rethinks it in the light of individuality and dependency in an always growing codependent world.
Why Is It Important To Examine Relationships?
Oftentimes relationships can create a bubble that even our closest friends don’t get to see fully. We can fall in love and fall in completely, becoming oblivious to the red flags, the missteps, and the codependency. This can be both the actions of our partners and the actions of ourselves. Being able to find a way to step away — not always completely — to understand the ins and outs of love in a new light can assist in reexamining personal actions or even relationships. Taking the words of anti-romance can create a new understanding of romance itself and take behaviors that were once understood as typical in a romantic relationship and reveal them for their truest intentions.
What Is Anti-Romance?
The genre of anti-romance is best understood when the reader is already familiar with the romance genre. This subversive genre takes the tropes, archetypes, and styles of the romance genre and flips them on its head. The reality of the anti-romance genre is that it is deeply rooted in the genre it was created to reject. In this way, the two genres are impossibly entangled, which makes for an incredibly illuminating rewriting of the romance genre.
How To Use It?
Romance is quicker to mind than anti-romance. There’s no two ways about it. Rom-coms have their own saturated market in both the film world and the book world, but anti-romance is harder to come by. Because of this, romance — and all its workings — is more commonplace and thus a more praised genre. This has led to a constant validation of any and all romances. In short, it makes many of us seek out romance time and time again. This isn’t by itself a bad thing, but the consistent want for romance can cause a sort of blinder effect when stumbling into relationships. Anti-romance possesses the ability to take our societal understanding of love and relationships and bring it into a new light.
This does not mean devaluing love itself but allowing a better understanding of romantic behaviors and personal individuality in relationships. By taking the perspectives of an opposing view, the reality of such behaviors and relationships can be exposed to a new unbiased opinion from those within those intimate connections. Anti-romance further examines our addiction to love as a society and the impacts this obsession has on our day-to-day and personal relationships.
What Are Some Reading Recs?
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Contemplating marriage, love, and womanhood, Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl is the pinnacle of anti-romance. A contemporary classic, this thriller captures a woman’s life twisted after marriage and the way her husband has created a life for her and led her to disappearance.
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
A true classic, The Great Gatsby tells an unconventional love tale that asks the question: does love always triumph? If so, at what cost? This anti-romance novel brings to life the often tricky and inappropriate manners with which love can arise and rekindle.
My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing
In a new reflection of anti-romance, My Lovely Wife tells of a happily married couple who seek out something new when love becomes … boring. The couple begin to call in new women into their lives to kill them off, which causes a secrecy in their life. This brings in the theme of love addiction that anti-romance so desperately seeks to reexamine.
The Harpy by Megan Hunter
After her husband cheats on her, Lucy makes a deal with him to stay married. Their marriage will continue as it was, except Lucy gets three chances to hurt him in response to his infidelity. A dark look at the twisted powers of everlasting love and marriage.
Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan
In Acts of Desperation, Nolan delves into jealousy, obsession, and love bombing. Her novel writes a tale of an obsessive pair that make a sudden split. The narrator must decide if it’s in her best interest to chase after that love or set aside her previous relationship to pursue her career. Drama erupts when she discovers a soul-sucking attachment to the man who stole her heart.
I’m a Fan by Sheena Patel
In Sheena Patel’s debut novel, I’m a Fan, she examines relationships in love, sex, and intimacy through her own experiences. Her ability to pick apart the most familiar feelings and compulsions sheds light on a new way to approach love in a love-saturated world. Her voice proves undeniable in its relevance and marks a huge new novel in the anti-romance genre.
It is not bad to want love. It is not bad to be in love with your partner. But it is essential to be able to separate yourself from our addiction to love. It may help you love your partner better. It may also assist in your search for love. Placing a value in your relationship status can be an action that is balanced with placing value in yourself and your identity. Check out these reads and take time to assess.
If you’re interested in learning more about relationships, read through Bookstr article 5 Valuable Non-Fiction Reads for Healthy and Genuine Relationships.
Do you want to read more about theories that help stimulate your brain? Bookstr has a book collection on Bookshop perfect for you! Check out: Stimulating Novels That Challenge the Status Quo.
