These past few weeks, my dad and I have been watching the extended version of the Lord of the Rings series. After watching The Two Towers, I have to say, it’s one of the funniest Lord of the Rings movies I’ve seen. Between Merry and Pippin doing their own thing and traveling with Treebeard for most of the time, to Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas just roaming the countryside back and forth, this movie was way more humorous than I remembered.
The movie still brought all the emotion and action that the novel depicts, but it was a pleasant surprise to see all the cut jokes and funny scenes between the characters. We’d like to share those moments with you now. Interested in a mix of funny and serious? Then keep reading! We’ve got 20 marvelous quotes that are sure to make you want to rewatch the movies.
“The battle of Helm’s Deep is over; the battle for Middle-earth is about to begin.”Gandalf
“Gandalf? Yes…that was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Gray. That was my name…I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now – at the turn of the tide.”Gandalf
“All our hopes now lie with two little Hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness.”Gandalf
“Through fire and water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth. Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and every day was as long as a life-age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I’ve been sent back until my task is done.”Gandalf
“Three hundred lives of men I have walked this earth and now I have no time.”Gandalf
“I wonder if people will ever say, ‘Let’s hear about Frodo and the Ring.’ And they’ll say ‘Yes, that’s one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn’t he, Dad?’ ‘Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that’s saying a lot.’”
“You’ve left out one of the chief characters – Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam. Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam.”
“Now Mr. Frodo, you shouldn’t make fun; I was being serious.”
“So was I.”Sam to Frodo
“I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?
But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.”Sam
“*Po-tay-toes!* Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew!”Sam
“What are we holding onto, Sam?”
“That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo…and it’s worth fighting for.”Frodo to Sam
” In one thing you haven’t changed, my friend – you still speak in riddles.”Aragorn to Gandalf
“The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain.”
“What do you fear, my lady?”
“A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire.”
“You are a daughter of kings, a shield maiden of Rohan. I do not think that will be your fate.”Eowyn to Aragorn
“Oh come on, we can take ‘em!”
“It’s a long way.”
“I cannot jump the distance, you’ll have to toss me.”
[pauses, looks up at Aragorn]
“Don’t tell the Elf.”
“Not a word.”Gimli to Aragorn
“It’s true you don’t see many Dwarf women. In fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they’re often mistaken for Dwarf men.”
[mouths words to Éowyn] “It’s the beards.”
“This in turn has given raise to the belief that there are no women. And that Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground! [Éowyn laughs] Which is of course ridiculous.”Gimli to Eowyn and Aragorn
[in Elvish] “You’re late.”
[takes a good look at Aragorn]
[in English] “You look terrible.”Legolas to Aragorn
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” [after literally breaking his foot from kicking a helmet]Aragorn
“I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin.”Merry to Pippin
“You must understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.”Treebeard
“This new Gandalf is more grumpy than the old one.”Gimli
[failing to see over the wall] “What’s happening out there?”
“Shall I describe it to you?”
“Or would you like me to find you a box?”
[Gimli laughs]Gimli to Legolas
“Final count, forty-two.”
“Forty-two? Oh, that’s not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE.”
[takes out an arrow, and shoots the Uruk Gimli is sitting on in the stomach] “Forty-three.”
“He was *twitching* because he’s got my axe EMBEDDED IN HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM!”Gimli to Legolas
Did you get a laugh out of these jokes, or did the serious quotes make you shed a little tear? Don’t worry, we know the feeling. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is action-packed with great comedic timing thrown in. Whether you love it for its battles or the bickering between dwarves and elves, the story will always hold strong, and we’ll always root for the two little hobbits trying to find a way to save their home.
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