Communication is how we connect to others and build lasting relationships. These days, access to communication is easier than ever, but do we know how to engage in it effectively? It’s essential in work, love, friendship, and beyond so knowing how to do it well is an asset. These five books will strengthen your ability to communicate in a healthy way. They are near and dear to my heart, and hopefully, they will be the same for you!
Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
Atlas of the Heart is a guide to all 87 human emotions, both primary and secondary. What a lifesaver! There are 13 chapters, each starting with the phrase “Places We Go…”. For communication, the Places We Go With Others chapter is the perfect place to start. She covers boundaries, empathy, and much more. This will help you understand the emotion behind communication. Brown weaves in her own stories and practical advice for feeling and/or overcoming all these emotions. Your EQ will go up 1000 percent I swear!
“If we really want to practice compassion we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior.”
Why Won’t You Apologize? by Harriet Lerner
This book focuses on apologies and forgiveness, an integral part of communication that often goes awry. Lerner unpacks all sorts of scenarios, including over-apologizing, under-apologizing, and what she believes is the perfect balance. Apologizing is more complex than what meets the eye. Even the smallest of words, such as “but” and “if,” can turn an emotional conversation into an argument. With real-life examples to help you envision and relate, you’ll be an expert at navigating humility.
“The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.”
The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
The term “love” here is not strictly meant for romance. Loving relationships come in many forms- through siblings, parents, friends, etc. And all relationships are built on communication in one way or another. While the first two books I’ve recommended take a more clinical approach to communication, Miguel Ruiz applies spirituality to it. He uses Toltec wisdom to offer insights. Throughout the book, there are many metaphors and short fables to enhance your coexistence with others and, therefore, your joy.
“Communication through respect and love is the whole key to keeping the love alive.”
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
I read this for a college class and enjoyed it. Seven principles are examined throughout the book. The principle of turning towards each other closely aligns with communication. Gottman explains that in life we make bids for connection and when those bids are ignored, resentment can rear its head into relationships. The antidote to this is turning toward each other otherwise known as active listening. The practice of daily attentiveness and not always trying to solve issues makes for healthy communication. The best part of the seven principles is that it comes with exercises to do with your loved one.
“When you are in pain, the world stops and I listen.”
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
How you communicate with yourself informs how you communicate with others. A New Earth will help you learn more about the ego, which refers to a person’s sense of self or inner self-talk. When the ego goes unchecked, it can distort reality and affect your relationship with others. I can’t recommend this book highly enough. I read it and a month later I started to manifest the most wonderful gifts in my life.
“ What is [drama’s] fuel? Reactivity. The ego thrives on it.”
These titles are an excellent entryway into your journey of communication. The best thing about self-betterment books is you can highlight the most meaningful quotes to you and always go back to them. Because, let’s face it, this work requires diligent practice.
Interested in more mental health books? Check out this article.
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