Late into the eve of my fifth year of life, my mother (bless her) introduced me to the cinematic masterpiece that is The Princess Bride. I thank her just about everyday with this by continuously quoting the movie back to her, usually without context. I’m just being honest when I say this movie needs no context. Have I read the book? Don’t ask me questions you won’t like the answer to, loves! Also, no, I haven’t. Who needs to read the book when the movie is this damn good? Here’s my favorite quotes from The Princess Bride 1987 movie adaptation. Along with the quotes, I’ll also be diving a bit into how they come about and why I love them!
Let me start off by saying, I can quote this movie line. for. line. I actually did the other night. My roommate, Hannah, had her boyfriend over and we of course had to introduce him to the greatest movie of all time. He was impressed to say the least and now will constantly say “inconceivable” under his breath to himself. It’s hilarous.
“As you wish.”
Am I starting big? Duh, that’s what I do. Westley is a dream, Buttercup is so lucky (I’m so jealous of her). There have been a few instances in modern romance fiction that the characters won’t say the L word. I think the illusion of love makes it all the more fantastical when they really “I love you.” And in the case of Westley and Buttercup, they don’t say the big L. It’s unnecessary in their case, their love for one another is too true to be put into words. Instead it’s settled with one of the five greatest kisses in all of romance. Isn’t that just adorable? I have rare occassion to use this as I am a single lady, as Beyonce has dubbed us, but when I do, y’all best believe that it’s going to be consistent.
“Murdered by pirates is good.”
All of the asides from the grandson are comedy gold. This kid is why I have such a dry sense of humor. Well… that and mental illness… but that’s a different article! “Murdered by pirates” is one of my favorites. “Skip to the Fire Swamp” while he’s munching on a sandwich is another treasure. Really just any snappy one liner and you’ve got me hooked. I’m already in your corner, no need to keep killing me with “Who get’s Humperdinck?” It never fails that if I’m frustrated with an assignment, I’ll murmur this to my laptop.
“Anybody want a peanut?”
This requires no prompting. I’ll just send it to my mom and she’ll send back a vague GIF from some random scene of the movie. Look when I tell y’all that it’s so hard to pick just a few lines to remember, I’m being completely, one hundred percent transparent. Sometimes I’ll be so bored at work that I’ll just start playing the movie in my head as I zone out.
“He didn’t fall? Inconceivable!”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
This is a call and response. Hannah is also obsessed with this movie, though she wasn’t raised on it like I was. We’ll often find ourselves yelling this line to see if the other is home yet. Also, can we talk about Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya? Or Cary Elews as Westley? Rockstar casting, top notch, iconic. We’ll talk more about Inigo in a few, but I just had to mention because my good lord that man… y’all.
“There was a mighty duel.”
I can’t say this line without shuffling my feet like a dummy. Much like Prince Humperdinck! Sometimes there isn’t an explanation needed, quotes like this and the “Murdered by pirates” just stick in your head and then you’ll find yourself repeating them to other people on a random Tuesday.
“My way’s not very sportsmanlike.”
Fezzik is the perfect character juxtaposition. If you’re needing writing inspiration for a lovable oaf type character, watch Andre the Giant’s performance in The Princess Bride. You can’t get any better than that. So many of Fezzik’s lines are iconic. “Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?” You know, just making casual conversation as you’re trying to kill someone… regular Thursday for him.
“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.”
This must be followed by a dramatic (obnoxious) laugh and then a dead stop (ha puns) and a dump of your body to one side, stiff as a board. There is no other option. Even if I’m just saying this in my head, the motions are all there. This is why I have so few friends, y’all. I act out movies from the late 80’s in my head!
“But Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.’s?”
“The Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist–“
Once again, without the dramatic movement of Westley being absolutely sacked by the man in the rat suit, your comment is null and void. It’s taken me a good fifteen years of watching this show to realize that because this was shot during 1987, practical effects were in full swing. This whole sequence of Westley and the R.O.U.S.’s was just a man in a black suit fighting a man in a rat suit. Sometimes I get the cursed Rat Man in New York pop up on my TikTok feed and this is what I think of everytime now… you’re welcome.
“Boo! Boo! Boo!”
A taunt. A tease. A shout at my Blackboard account when it glitches during a test. A remark at the fridge when it makes a funky noise. A sly grumble under my breath during a meeting when someone says something that is deserving of ‘booing.’ Applicable in all formats and situations. Just works.
“I am waiting for Vizzini.”
“You surely are a meanie.”
All interactions between Inigo and Fezzik need to be on the list, however I’m picking favorites. This is one of them. Also “I’m on the Brute Squad.” “You are the Brute Squad!” interaction between Fezzik and Miracle Max is top tier comedy. No one can convince me otherwise.
“Have fun storming the castle!”
“Think it’ll work?”
“It would take a miracle. Bye-bye!”
Billy Crystal as Miracle Max was genius. Whoever casted this movie is a godsend. Also the scene where Mircale Max’s wife pops up around the corner yelling, “LIAR! LIAR! I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” is also common phrasing around me.
“Mawidge…mawidge is what bwings us togevver today… Mawdige, that bwessed awwangement, that dewam wiffim a dweam…”
My sister is getting married in April of next year and I’m her maid of honor… if she thinks this isn’t going in my speech, she’s sorely mistaken! It’s perfect! I can’t express my love for this scene more. Westley, Inigo and Fezzik are storming the castle, intimidating Yellin with ripping his arms off and Buttercup can see the fear behind Humperdinck’s eyes because we all know that true love will win against evil. This is the start of something phenomenal.
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
This is Inigo’s villan era. His Taylor Swift Redemption album. The duel he’s been preparing for his entire life. He’s finally gotten ahold of the man who murdered his father (these twenty years) and he’s going to make him pay for what he did. From a literary standpoint, Inigo got the best ending of the entire movie. He, not only, avenged his father, but he got his point across of, even if you tried to bail yourself out of your wrongdoings, you’ll just dig yourself into a deeper pit of hell. Work.
“I knew he was bluffing. I knew he was bluff–”
Look, hate Humperdinck all you want, mans is hilarious when threatened. “I do believe that is the first time a man dare insult me.” And at this point, Westley doesn’t have a care in the world because Humperdinck has done nothing to earn his respect. Humperdinck falls into that weak king dilemma of only focusing on himself and ending things too quickly. All of this could have been avoided if he wanted to get his hands dirty… so to speak. Let’s not forget though, that all of this came about because Humperdinck wanted to start a war with Floran (the sworn enemy across the sea). And why would a kingdom want to intiate a war? Bored, power hungry, egotistical, narssastic leaders who are surrounded by yes men.
Alright, now y’all have a bit more insight to me as a person… apparently. Now, my family growing up was just as much a movie family as it was a book family. So, I’ve got The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Firefly, all of Disney, and Marvel on lockdown (as well as that which shall not be named).
Test your knowledge of The Princess Bride with this quiz from Bookstr!