In the words of Leonard Cohen: Hallelujah. Last week, I begged Jenny Han to let Conrad fix whatever was left of this uncomfortable, infuriating final season of The Summer I Turned Pretty. In this week’s episode, Last Dance, told exclusively through Conrad’s perspective, he didn’t just save the season, but delivered viewers possibly the best episode of the series yet and undeniably the most romantic. Way to swoop in at the eleventh hour, Han!
Written and directed by Jenny Han, this episode was shrouded in the glow of childhood summers, the indescribable warmth of first love, the type of yearning that makes your stomach hurt, and an unprecedented use of music to capture emotion. We finally got back to the basics of what makes this show so addictive, and of course, the undeniable chemistry that’s been holding the show together all these years: Belly and Conrad’s story. Conrad lovers, we were fed this episode. Stuffed, really. Too much can spoil an appetite, though, and Han made sure to pull back before giving us our dessert.
Yearning From Wanting You
Episode four, Last Stand, ended with Conrad’s pov as we watch him cave over the pressure of Belly’s emotions, desperate to make her happy, by supporting the wedding. As he gathers Belly up in a hug, the closest and most intimate they’ve been in years, we get a single, heartbreaking line from Conrad that sets the tone for the next episode: “What have I done?”
Last Dance picks up at Conrad and Belly’s hug, with Otis Redding’s achingly beautiful These Arms of Mine telling us everything we need to know about Conrad’s feelings for her. In Conrad’s pov, we get close-up details of Belly, the way she tucks her hair behind her ear, her little mannerisms, her beaming smile, the warmth of her presence before collapsing into Conrad. Immediately, we see the effect Belly has on him will be shown in full swing this episode. Redding’s line sums up Last Dance completely as Conrad’s fingers slowly caress the small of Belly’s back: “these arms are yearning. Yearning from wanting you. And if you let them hold you—”
With that line, Conrad snaps out of the memory that he’s been replaying all week, which was like “getting hit by a f**king thunderbolt”, and continues his work on the roof at the Cousins house. The Noah Calhoun references are in full swing. Since that moment, Conrad has been tirelessly keeping himself busy to avoid any time with Belly; even seeing her hurts his chest. His plan is simple: avoid Belly as much as possible, then she’ll be his brother’s wife, and it’ll be over for good.
Oh, Baby, I Was Blind To Let You Go
When Taylor cancels wedding planning for the weekend to help Lucienda, and Jere has to stay late at work to impress his dad, Belly once again is left on her own to handle a wedding that she seems increasingly uninterested in. But, she’s the only one who’s going to get it done. Conrad freezes when she asks him for a ride, unable to trust himself alone with her.
Belly, feelings hurt once again, rides off on her bike to get her errands done. Leaving Conrad to a childhood memory of little Steven, Jere, Conrad, and Belly biking up a hill in the summer. Belly can’t figure out her training wheels, and while the other boys leave her in the dust, Conrad hops off his bike and teaches her to ride his. Set to the tune of I Want You Back by The Jackson Five, Conrad’s beaming face as he watches Belly peddle off on her own tells us that Belly isn’t the only one who had a summer love.
At the bakery, Belly gets a reality check. Jeremiah has his heart set on a two-tier dark chocolate cake with a raspberry coulis filling with a mirror glaze on top. Super low-maintenance request. The only problem is its $750. Belly’s face visibly contorts at the price before she backtracks, saying she meant the cake was for a birthday, not a wedding. Interesting that that’s her first instinct, but the price stays the same. She tries to call Jere to talk about it, but he’s too busy.
Conrad, driving back from his errand, spots Belly struggling with her bags as she attempts to get on her bike. He tries to ignore her, but can’t bring himself to. Pulling a U-turn, he parks beside her and offers her a ride. Belly, still stung from his refusal to drive her earlier, eventually agrees and takes the wheel while Conrad loads her bike in the back. In the car, they start to loosen up. They joke about Conrad’s old stamp obsession, his collection of vintage encyclopedias, and his moderating a Lord of the Rings subreddit. Their easy chemistry takes him off guard as he reluctantly agrees to go to the flower shop with her.
One of the most romantic elements of Last Dance is the constant warm glow we see basking over Belly in Conrad’s perspective. In the flower shop, he’s visibly overwhelmed by it. Belly nervously approaches the florist, this time hiding the fact she’s getting married completely; Conrad immediately clocks it. In what I viewed as an effort to get Belly to take some pride in her wedding, Conrad slips in that his mom had peonies in her wedding bouquet.
Don’t You Call Him What You Used To Call Me
The overly icy florist starts rattling off questions about the details and mistakes Conrad as the groom. The blushing was quite adorable. The florist finally comes out and tells them the minimum wedding package is $5,000. Stunned at the news and trying to soothe Belly’s visual anxiety, Conrad pulls her to the side and lays out a plan. They’ll use Susannah’s hydrangeas; they’re nicer anyway, they mean more, and they’re not $5,000. Finally, someone’s taking care of Belly rather than using her as a surrogate mother figure.
Conrad tries to cheer up a dejected Belly in the car and urges her to try the sample cupcakes from the bakery, one of which is 70% cacao and the other is 80%. Belly reveals she doesn’t even like dark chocolate, it’s just what Jere wants, and they can’t afford it anyway. Conrad, desperate to make Belly feel better, lays out another solution. What if they do one layer of filling, say, f*ck the mirror glaze, and get regular milk chocolate frosting, and instead of delivery, Conrad will pick it up. Oh, Conrad, you’re too good for this world.
Belly looks visibly relieved at someone else taking action (Jeremiah, once again, you are useless), but her moment of relief is interrupted by a call from Jere. She puts it on speaker and lays out the suggestion for the cake while Conrad roots her on to stay strong. This man. Jeremiah responds in one of his most insufferable moments yet (and that’s saying something — the “how come no one ever plays with me” line from season one still haunts me):
“Belly, cacao is the bean. It’s what chocolate is made of. Look, the whole flavor profile depends on the bitterness of the dark chocolate and the sweet tartness of the raspberry. The cake is my one thing, and you said each of us gets one thing.”
– Last Dance, episode five of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
OKAY JEREMIAH, BUT YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT. Conrad and Belly’s shared judgmental glances are everything, and her standing her ground saying it’s out of their budget is a long time coming. Not to mention, Belly doesn’t get a nice ring, doesn’t get the dress she wanted, doesn’t get a say on the cake, compromises on the flowers: hey, Jere, what’s Belly’s one thing she gets? Jeremiah deflects and says he’ll just put it on his card. Ew, Belly, bring in the starting lineup. Exhausted from the phone call, Belly starts to break down:
“I’m stuck here making all these decisions about things that I don’t really care about, and we can’t even afford. And all that matters to me is making this commitment to each other in front of the people we love. Well, most of them. I just feel like I’m carrying this all myself and I’m doing it all alone.”
– Last Dance, episode five of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
Belly, I’m no expert, but I don’t think this is what getting married is supposed to feel like. Hit by her vulnerability, Conrad excitedly says, “Then f*ck it, we’re going to Michaels”. Taking Jere’s place, he’ll be Belly’s rock today.
We’re constantly shown how much Conrad pays attention to Belly. Whether it’s noticing her GRE book over Christmas and assuming she’s interested in psychology, the fact that she started wearing heels, or her continued habit of biting her nails. It’s a nice parallel to the often-sighted “do you remember everything I’ve ever said” line in the first season; this time, we’re shown that Belly isn’t the only one who’s been paying meticulous attention. Conrad confides in Belly that he, too, has been seeing a therapist to work through his panic attacks. Yeah, Belly, we’re all impressed. Yes, your fiancé is a manchild.
I don’t know if Lola Tung and Gavin Casalengo just have no chemistry, but when Belly and Conrad are in frame, it just works. Effortless, light, pure. This scene, set to Cherry by Harry Styles, was an absolute gut punch. The yearning between these two is the electric jolt to the show.
You Know I’m Such A Fool For You
At Michaels, we get another heartbreaking, somewhat anticipated line from Conrad: “For a second, I forget it’s not me who’s marrying her.” Don’t worry, buddy, I think we’re all trying to live in that delusion. Including Belly, who, after Conrad asks how long this shop is going to take, is eager to cut it off before he’s even more hopelessly dragged under, is crestfallen. She finally gets to experience some excitement around her wedding, just not with the groom. Conrad backtracks when he sees her reaction, as always, and says let’s just take a lap, see what’s going on. Immediately, she perks up.
He stops at a fake flower stand and starts trying to think of more decoration ideas. Maybe they can dress up the porch with plastic flowers. Belly makes fun of him a bit, but Conrad counters: “Yeah, well, they’re $8.99, and 20% off sale.” Again, just what Belly needs to hear. Her wedding can be affordable, beautiful, and the man of your dreams can help plan it. It’s okay, he’s not the groom, though, right?
Jenny Han’s soundtrack choice would beg to differ with Linger, covered by Royel Otis, playing as Belly’s mood returns. How in love this man is with this young woman, how he looks at her, grabbing fake sunflowers as he compromises himself for her happiness, how the sun itself seems to be behind her at all times, giving her an unworldly glow in his eyes, is too much to bear. He thinks he has the situation under control, but as she roams the aisles, looking back at him, beaming, we see him falling farther and farther. Belly, please give him a hand up.
And The Songbirds Are Singing Like They Know The Score
In the car, Belly lies her head completely out the window with her hand trailing in the wind as Songbird by Fleetwood Mac plays in the background. An image many fans have been dissecting online, claiming that she only ever does this with Conrad. In all car scenes with Jeremiah, she stays within the window, suggesting the level of freedom to be herself she has with Conrad and the limitations she has with Jere. This is even reinforced in the clothing this season: in seasons one and two, Belly was almost always in a simple, but sweet top with jean shorts. In her relationship with Jere, she acquires a much more feminine taste, always in dresses and frills (honestly, she dresses like Susannah, I’ll say it), but in this episode, she returns to her usual style. No pressure to be someone you’re not, I assume.
Conrad always tries to stay strong in front of Belly, for as long as he’s known her, he’s “always struggled with looking weak in front of her”. He realizes maybe that was his mistake. She’s the first person he confides in, other than Agnes, about getting fired from his medical placement. His reasoning behind getting let go closely aligns with how him and Belly fell apart four years ago, and it’s clear she knows it: “That day at work, I was so scared that I was gonna fuck up. And then I did.” Conrad doesn’t ruin things because he just doesn’t care, that’s more Jere’s forte, he messes up because he’s so scared that he will. The things that matter most are the easiest to slip through his fingers.
Belly picks him up and then puts him in his place, telling him he and his therapist should start dissecting his hero complex. He tries to refuse, but concedes: “Alright, maybe I’ll spend some time on that.” Their chats go so effortlessly from serious to jokey to introspective to romantic, I’m out of breath. What’s clear in this car ride is that, for all that’s been done and all that’s been said over the past few years, these two make each other better. And what else could you hope for in a partner?
You Know I Can’t Let You Slide Through My Hands
Belly spots a peach stand, and Conrad pulls a U-turn to get her one. Everyone, brace yourselves. The most perfect, romantic golden hour shrouds the peach stand and the sunflower fields beyond. Belly grabs a peach right as Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones starts to play; Jenny Han, are you trying to send me to an early grave? (“Childhood living is easy to do, the things you wanted, I bought them for you” works so well it hurts). A ridiculous amount of juice flows over Belly’s face as she melts into her peach, and Conrad melts into her. She eats the whole thing, Conrad is absolutely entranced, and so am I: her beauty in this episode, inside and outside, is unmatched. He buys her another, hands it over, and she dives in again.
His steady concentration, his sweet, shy smile, is enough to spiral any Conrad fan. Completely immersed, Conrad forgets himself and untucks his clean white shirt from his pants and slowly reaches out to clean the juice off her chin as they maintain the heaviest, most meaningful eye contact in the show’s history. My heart stopped beating right there. I’m writing this from the other side. In We’ll Always Have Summer, Belly cites this as the “most intimate thing anyone had ever done to [her]” and “just one look, one touch from him, and [she] was shaking.”
For a fleeting moment, it looks like we’re gonna get the kiss of the century, but Belly chickens out. Out of breath, she says, “I’m gonna get a couple more for Jere.” How dare you say that man’s name right now? Conrad, suddenly returning to reality, goes to wait in the car as his monologue rattles off: “Whatever I thought was happening here was only in my head. She and Jere, that’s the reality.” Try telling that to a shaking Belly trying to regain her composure at the peach stand.
Just Like Back in the Days Of Old
Back at the house, the weight of their day hangs heavy on both their heads. It seems like Conrad’s going to pack it up and go to bed, telling himself he can never let himself slip up like that again, but as Belly rests her frame on the patio door and looks back at him, drenched in moonlight, he can’t help himself and offers to make her dinner. She looks back, utterly relieved to spend more time with him. Girl, same.
Belly, deep in thought, turns to him in the kitchen and weightily asks if she can ask him a question. Conrad braces himself, but she loses her nerve for whatever she really wanted to ask him (I’m guessing something along the lines of, “Are you still in love with me?”) and instead says, “Do you eat anything other than raw chicken?” With that, Van Morrison’s Into the Mystic plays as they descend into a simple cooking scene. A thought I’m sure crossed all viewers’ minds is: look how easy this is. It all just slides back into place.
We launch right into their dinner scene where they’re drunk on wine, giggling, and going over their day and the past. The chemistry between these two shines here. For once, I sat back and thought, “Wow, this acting is actually good”. Infused with the nostalgia of The Notebook, where Noah and Allie reconnect after years apart, the love between these two is still alive and well; all they have to do is open their eyes. This is the happiest we’ve seen these two in years.
Any Kind of Love You Want, I’ll Be with You
Conrad gets pulled back into a memory of the last night they slept together, presumably the night after season two’s flashback, where Conrad begins to grow distant after realizing Susannah’s condition is worsening. We get his perspective on things, the overwhelming pain he was in over Susannah’s health, and his need to shut it out because that would mean it’s happening. Belly sneaks in, desperate to spend more time with him, and cuddles into bed beside him. She gets a slight melancholy look on her face, and Conrad instinctively says, “Hey, don’t worry about prom. I’m gonna take care of everything.”
Chris Briney’s heartbreaking delivery of “everything” is a record scratch in my brain; perhaps his most superb acting throughout the series. Belly tries to comfort him over his mom, assuring him she’s going to get better, and we finally see how everything went so wrong. He doesn’t want to tell her, to break the part of her “that believed everything would be fine.” So, he takes it all on himself and shuts her out in the process. He was trying to protect her, but ended up breaking them. The knowledge of how their relationship will unfold fills the scene with a quiet devastation as Otis Redding’s That’s How Strong My Love Is plays as they make love (Han, did you have to include one of my favorite songs of all time? I’ll never be able to separate it from this scene again).
Conrad looks at Belly, with the memory fresh in his head, and asks himself:
“What if I hadn’t f**ked it up four years ago? What if I hadn’t pushed her away like I always do? How many times would we have eaten dinner together just like this?”
– Last Dance, episode five of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
Just when you’re about to crack from the yearning, an unbelievably grating sound is heard from across the room: “Honey, I’m home!” And just like that, everything shatters. Jeremiah bounds in, and Belly runs into his arms. Conrad immediately recedes into himself, and Jeremiah goes on the offensive, making it so painfully clear he’s marking his territory. The excess kissing, the pulling her onto his lap (excruciatingly giving husband coming home to his stay-at-home wife, Jeremiah’s dream), and his aggressive eye contact with Conrad as he wraps his arms around Belly, is sickening.
It’s amazing to watch how quickly the show loses its draw when Jeremiah is on the screen. Conrad excuses himself, with his monologue rattling, “I would rather have someone shoot me in the head with a nail gun repeatedly than to have to watch him touching her like that all night. And I hate myself for it.” Well, I feel the same, and I love you for it.
It Goes to Show You Never Can Tell
Jeremiah has suddenly got Adam’s approval for the wedding after “catching” something at work that Steven and Denise have been anticipating for weeks. He wants to pay for it, have it at the club, have his secretary plan it (yes! The secretary that Adam cheated with), and invite work associates and clients to the event. Literally, Belly’s nightmare. Jeremiah expects her to be relieved, but after all the work she’s done, she pushes back, saying she thought they were gonna do this on their own. Clearly, those responsibility lessons haven’t kicked in, Belly; her disappointment is clear, especially after spending the day with a man who actually has his shit together and puts her needs first.
He tries to counter, saying he’s been working with them all summer (three weeks, I believe) and this is just how the corporate world works. Baby, you couldn’t even figure out how the core classes for your major work. When his reasoning isn’t working, as always, he resorts to manipulation! He was just excited because his dad seemed proud of him (pouty face). Belly, easy target as always, rolls over and agrees and is brazen enough to say it’s the kind of wedding Susannah would want. Barely know Susannah, and I can safely say a corporate wedding planned by her husband’s mistress is not what she wants — I know the Kaleigh thing will eventually send a deep enough crack through this facade, especially when Conrad hears.
Belly, swallowing her worries and back to catering to Jere’s every whim, surprises him by conceding their first dance song, Chuck Berry’s You Never Can Tell. Stand the hell up, Belly. The only reason I’ll allow her this last weak moment is because this episode is entitled Last Dance, and when Jere and Belly start practicing their routine on the porch, both my fists went triumphantly in the air. War is almost over, folks.
From his bedroom, Conrad watches them miserably and scolds himself for messing up today, but assures it won’t happen again because “the promises you make on your mother’s deathbed are absolute.” We go back four years to Conrad sitting by a dying Susannah. She tells him she isn’t scared to go because she knows he’ll be okay, and Jeremiah will be okay, “because he has you. He’s the luckiest boy in the world to have you as a big brother.” He promises her he’ll always look out for him, and I guess that means not stealing his girl away. If only he paid you the same courtesy.
With tears streaming down his face, he says, “Mom, I’m not ready” before collapsing into sobs and curling up on her stomach like a little kid. Someone give my guy a break, for real. Back to watching them on the pier, he says he protected Jere by leaving and goes back to that day in the motel when he finally took himself out of the running so Jere could have what he wanted. Now, he reflects on his lie to Belly, that he didn’t still love her, and asks himself: “What if I hadn’t [lied]? Maybe it would all be different now. But it doesn’t matter, this is the way it’s supposed to be. He can give her all the things I can’t. She deserves that. She deserves the world.” Eyes wet with tears, he closes the curtains.
Now, he reflects on his lie to Belly, that he didn’t still love her, and asks himself: “What if I hadn’t [lied]? Maybe it would all be different now. But it doesn’t matter, this is the way it’s supposed to be. He can give her all the things I can’t. She deserves that. She deserves the world.” Eyes wet with tears, he closes the curtains. Conrad, if Susannah were here, and she found out about Cabo, she’d disown Jeremiah herself. Go get your girl.
Other things happened this episode (ignoring the Steven and Denise plotline, seriously, the last thing this show needs is another love triangle), but they’re all outshone by the rising action that is sure to have an epic climax in this gut-wrenching, slow-burn romance. Belly will surely be in panic mode by the next episode, and who can blame her? It’s tough to admit you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your life with the brother of the man you truly love (insane). Hats off to Jenny Han, Chris Briney, and Lola Tung: this season had an anchor around its neck, and they swam down, grabbed it, and are just about to reach the surface. I’ll wait until the next episode before saying if they’re able to drag it to land.
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