How’s everyone doing after last week’s The Summer I Turned Pretty? Distraught, haunted, tormented, disturbed? Because I concur. Last Hurrah, episode seven of season three, aired last Wednesday and hasn’t vacated fans’ minds since. Everything about this episode got me. Girl, So Confusing, playing as Taylor, realizes she actually likes Denise. We Can’t Be Friends dropping us all to our knees. “He got me the big unicorn, and he got me my mom, Taylor.” I’ve been harsh on Jenny Han’s writing, but I’ll say this: she is one hell of a showrunner. And it stems from how dialed in she is with her fans, social media, pop culture, and blending it all while staying true to her source material. Really, she floored me with this one, but now the pressure is on. Please, part the clouds, make the storm stop, and cue That’s The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift.
Here Comes the Bride — Why’s She Staring at the Best Man?
Last Hurrah picks up three days before Jeremiah and Belly’s wedding. Belly is valiantly trying to gaslight herself into believing that Conrad and her bathtub close-call last episode was just her cracking under the pressure of this wedding, not any lingering feelings for her first love. Steadfastly, Belly remains the unmatched champion of denial. But, no matter what she does, the tension between them is palpable — a mere look at Conrad’s scar is enough to set both of them on edge.
Jeremiah and Belly are reunited at the Cousins house for their bachelor and bachelorette parties. Despite this being the second-worst thing that has ever happened to him, Conrad puts his brother first, coming out excited for the festivities and mapping out the bar crawl he organized for the night. Jere and Belly’s friends aren’t the only ones arriving in Cousins, Laurel and John are checking in for the weekend and (to Laurel’s horror) run into Adam and his mistress-turned-girlfriend, Kaleigh, in the hotel lobby. As Laurel does her best to be civil, Adam can’t help but make condescending jibes at her (right after we put Jeremiah in his place, can we swing back and do the same for Adam?).
When the wedding party arrives, they immediately get to smoking joints, drinking beers, and frying burgers by the pool. Jeremiah (continuing his desperate attempts to fizzle the tension between Conrad and Belly by putting another girl in his eyeline) introduces Anika to Conrad. Anika gives him a slight up and down, obviously finding him attractive (who can blame her?), and Conrad smiles hello. Belly, why do you look jealous? She tries to front at the pool when Anika says she’s surprised by how hot Conrad is, and if it weren’t for his and Belly’s messy past, she’d go for him. Belly laughs it off, trying to claim ancient history, and tells her to go for it before looking anxiously away. Taylor mouths at Anika from the pool, “Do not”. That’s what we like to see, Taylor.
Taylor’s doing a good job putting her feelings aside to focus on Belly, but she’s clearly got other things on her mind. Steven and Denise arrive at the Cousins house (I like Denise, but why exactly is she at a close friend’s event?) and walk into the kitchen as Taylor makes guacamole. Finally meeting, she and Denise are civil and friendly. When Denise goes and it’s just Steven and Taylor, she starts overcompensating to hide her feelings, telling him she’ll be his wingman and “wants him to get laid” (shivers). It doesn’t take a lot to see that this is torture for Taylor.
But what comes next is torture for me. Belly, Anika, and Taylor are rehearsing an incredibly cringey, strangely sexual dance routine to Blackpink’s Typa Girl for the wedding reception. I’m sure Adam will love it for what has essentially been turned into a business event with 200 of his closest colleagues and clients. The groomsmen have a slightly more charming, still uncomfortable dance routine to Zayn’s Let Me, that they practice with Denise as the stand-in Belly. Oh, Conrad, even your horrible dance moves are charming. You’ve got to give it up for the man of every hour, his brother’s about to marry the love of his life, and he’s still laughing along, doing whatever to make him happy. Not that Jere sees it that way.
Marking Territory
He and Conrad sit down, and Jere offers him a joint. His decline seems to spark up that insecurity complex as he randomly starts telling him he basically doesn’t even smoke anymore because Belly hates it, and he needs to stay sharp for work. Conrad smiles and says he must be happy to get out of there soon. Jere confides that just that morning, Adam offered him a full-time position in Boston and told him to finish up his credits online, and he’s seriously considering taking it. Um — excuse me? So, Belly has decided to stay in Providence for him, give up studying abroad in Paris, and now he’s what? Going to move to Boston to start a full-time nepo-baby career? The hatred I have for this boy grows stronger with every episode.
Conrad pushes back, telling him he deserves better than just to follow in their dad’s footsteps. It seems like that actually meant something to Jere, a slight grin crept on his mouth as he takes in that his brother wants the best for him, so he has to shut that down immediately. Loaded with tension, Jere thanks him for taking care of the house this summer. Conrad smiles, saying it was just good to be of use, until his smile instantly drops when Jere eyes him, “and you looked after my girl all summer, too.” This smug son of a —
He’s clearly onto them. I mean, he may be dumb, but their tension is so palpable it’s like it’s become a living, breathing thing sitting in between them wagging its tail. Conrad finds Belly cleaning up inside and insists she should go outside and celebrate. They hear glass shattering, “I think that was one of our hurricane vases,” Conrad says, recalling their romantic trip to Michaels. OUR. Jere breaks up the moment with a suspicious look on his face and drags Belly to clean up the glass like he isn’t a grown man with two hands. He has more important things on his mind: marking his territory.
Later that night, as Belly gets ready for her bachelorette, Jeremiah comes skulking into her room, sits on her bed with a needy smile on his face, and tells Belly to come over to him. With an irritatingly soft, and what I expect was supposed to be seductive, voice, Jere complains about how little he’s seen Belly and tells her to give him a kiss. Belly has a slightly sad smile before she does it. He starts kissing her neck, and Belly pulls back, saying she needs to finish getting ready. “You have time”, he says as he pulls her back in (why don’t we let her decide that, buddy?).
Lola Tung and Gavin Casalengo’s stark lack of chemistry makes this sex scene a hard watch. They just have no tension, no connection, no umph. It doesn’t help that Jere is straining so hard to be romantic that the power play shines through all the clearer. My only hope is that the reason this scene was so drawn out is that it will be the last time these two sleep together. And if they somehow do have a sensual moment again, please, Jenny Han, keep it off my screen.
The characters’ lack of emotional connection shows through after they’re finished having sex. They decide to meet up at the end of their parties and have a moment just for them two. When Belly tells Jere to guess what she’s thinking, he says pool, but she had the beach in mind. This time, we can’t blame Jeremiah. Belly and Jere had their first kiss in the pool, the beach… well, that’s where she had her first kiss with Conrad.
Careful, Jeremiah, the Better Brother Is Showing
On the streets of Cousins, the two groups walk before splitting up for their respective parties. Belly, Taylor, and Anika head to a bar where Anika and Tay immediately take gummies, but Belly refuses. So they decide to do shots for every person they’ve each slept with. Anika realizes Belly is only having two —
Wait, does that mean your body count is just Jeremiah and his brother? […] I’m shook. Do you, like, ever compare whose better? [Taylor: The real question is: whose bigger?]
– Anika in Last Hurrah, episode seven of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
Belly looks outraged and orders 10 tequila shots to punish them (just saying, if it were the guy you’re marrying, you’d probably just burst out and say it, right?).
Meanwhile, at the bachelor party, Conrad, Steven, and Jeremiah are talking about Denise. Jeremiah, already tipsy, is saying he doesn’t know why he doesn’t just go for it because she’s “the only other person who’s smarter than you and Steven, and she’s as hot as Taylor, so I don’t know what his problem is.” Jeremiah challenge, level impossible: stop calling your fiancée’s best friends hot.
Even though Taylor has always disliked Conrad, he seems to be the only one looking out for her. He asks Steven if he’s really going to make a play for Denise with Taylor right here. Mind you, Taylor and Jeremiah are good friends. They’ve spent three years together at Finch, are even in the same sorority/frat circle, and she’s his fiancée’s lifelong best friend. But later on, when Jeremiah comes back home wasted and Taylor asks where Steven is, he mockingly says he’s with Denise “K-I-S-S-I-N-G in a tree” as her face falls. Conrad has no reason to look out for Taylor’s feelings, but he doesn’t need one. It’s just the right thing to do.
The best part of this night out wasn’t at the bachelor/bachelorette parties. It was at a classy bar where Laurel and John sat huddled together over their wine as Laurel let out her frustrations about Adam bringing his mistress to Susannah’s sacred place. John, always able to see Laurel crystal clear, says:
“You’re not pissed she’s here. You’re pissed Susannah’s not.”
– John in Last Hurrah, episode seven of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
Laurel immediately softens, looking down as she says she can’t believe Susannah’s missing all this. Laughing, she says she would have begged the girls to tag along tonight. Laurel then tries to claim she never had a bachelorette. John reminds her of when she and Susannah stuck him with newborn Conrad and Adam while they went to a strip club. I love when we get spicy Laurel: she then reminds him of how she came back “inspired” that night. John tries to steer her off, saying he’s not falling for her moves after the shame spiral she sent them down last time they hooked up. He caves and they share a passionate kiss at the bar. Absolutely the best sub-plot of the season, I just love these two together.
You Have No Room in Your Dreams for Regrets
Belly, Taylor, and Anika hit up a sweet shop before the next bar. Belly, tipsy outside with Taylor, begins gushing over her best friend, thanking her for all her help, appreciating their years of friendship, and, best of all, she got her mom to come to the bridal shower. This is where the ball gets rolling, everyone, brace yourself. Taylor tells her it wasn’t her; even Lucienda tried, but they couldn’t get her to budge. When Taylor goes inside, Belly stands in a haze on the sidewalk. Not for a second does she suspect her fiancé changed her mom’s mind, no. It could only be Conrad. She turns around and sees Conrad at the helm of the bachelor party, turning the corner onto the street.
Belly sees him, and her narration goes off:
“When I was little, I used to think that Conrad would appear out of thin air if I was thinking about him. I didn’t know if it was fate or a coincidence. I just knew he was always there when I needed him.”
-Belly in Last Hurrah, episode seven of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
With that, we go back in time to when Belly was eight and Conrad was ten with Taylor Swift’s Robin playing in the background. At the mall, Belly begs Conrad to let her go off by herself for a little while they go to the arcade. He’s resistant; his mom told him to keep them all together, but he caves for Belly and tells her to meet him in their exact spot in one hour. Belly runs to a glass shop and picks out one big glass unicorn and one small, playing on the ground with them blissfully.
She loses track of time and runs out in a panic, where Conrad immediately finds her and gives out to her, he was worried sick. When Belly begins to cry, he goes to comfort her, “It’s okay. From now on, we stick together, okay?” He rests his head on hers as they walk out of the mall together. Conrad went back to the store and got Belly the big unicorn for her birthday that summer. Belly, present day, narrates: “Conrad was always looking out for me. Maybe, after all this time, he still was.” This is the girl who claims she pays attention to every single detail. Belly, open your eyes.
On the street, Jeremiah picks up Belly and gives her a kiss before Redbird pulls him away to continue the crawl. That’s okay, he’s not the one she needed to see. Belly asks Conrad if she can speak to him for a minute while Jere looks backward in a panic. Belly jumps right in and asks if he spoke to her mom. Conrad tries to evade the question before admitting it. Belly asks him why (is it me, or does she have a smile on her face?).
Steven walks up before Belly can reply, but it’s clear to see she’s spinning out. Steven picks up on it, suspiciously looking between the two of them, before they go to join the boys, and Taylor poaches Denise away from Steven to come dancing with them (the scene on the dance floor where Taylor puts her own feelings aside and tells Denise to go for it with Steven was such an awesome girl moment. I love women, we’re the best). When Taylor comes out, Belly says she’ll take one of those gummies after all. Oh, boy.
While the rest of the boys do shots at the bar, Jeremiah brings Conrad close to him. What seems like it could be a sweet brotherly moment with Jere gushing about Conrad always protecting him, goes south quickly. With the most punchable of smiles on his face, Jere tries to intimidate Conrad and grabs his shoulder:
You don’t have to worry, Con. Belly and I are gonna take care of each other now. We’re getting married. She’s my family. You — you get that right?”
– Jeremiah in Last Hurrah, episode seven of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
As the night goes on, Jere’s jealousy deepens. He throws a drink on Conrad, pretending it was overexcitement at hearing a song. Conrad doesn’t react, but he knows what he’s doing. Don’t worry, Conrad, his mind isn’t the only one you’re on.
Just Wanna Let This Story Die
We Can’t Be Friends by Ariana Grande plays as Belly dances carefree on the dance floor, flushed in a purple light that keeps flashing from red to blue (keep in mind this girl is rolling on her first edible and has downed at least four shots). Jenny Han, I am continually impressed by how well you know your fans and your little corner of the internet. As Belly loses herself on the dance floor, what can only be described as a self-made fan-edit begins to play in her head of all the different Conrads we’ve seen throughout the show as Ariana sings “just want to let this story die”. Belly tries to collect herself, but the images will not stop. This has got to be one of my favorite moments of the entire series, and Lola Tung plays Belly’s turmoil to a tee.
Rushing off the dance floor, Taylor follows Belly to the bathroom as she gasps for breath. Taylor asks her what’s wrong as Belly stutters out, “He — he got me the big unicorn. And he got me my mom, Taylor.” The crying started right here for me, and it didn’t stop (I cannot emphasize enough that this is the best piece of acting Lola Tung has done on the show). Taylor thinks she’s tweaking because of the gummy, but Belly tells her it’s the wedding and she needs to think. This is her dream wedding to Jeremiah. Belly, for once, letting herself face the truth, pants:
“No, it’s not my dream wedding. I never — I never even had a dream wedding, I never… It wasn’t like this, not with the dresses and the flowers, and the — I just, I never, I never pictured any of it. And I — I — I only ever pictured Conrad.”
– Belly in Last Hurrah, episode seven of season three of The Summer I Turned Pretty
The screams were heard around the world. “Fuck”, Taylor says. Conrad, maybe an hour ago, told her he wanted her to have everything she ever pictured. But that’s only ever been him. Belly confides in Taylor about Christmas, saying everything was fine until then. Taylor, confused, says she thought she hadn’t seen him in years, “I lied”, Belly cries. She tells her that nothing happened; they just happened to be at the Cousins house by chance for a day. “Then why did you lie?” Taylor asks, “I don’t know”, Belly sobs. Wow, wow, wow. Taylor tries to tell Belly there’s nothing to tell Jere, everything will be fine, but you can see she doesn’t believe it. This is the beginning of the end.
Because, at the bachelor party, Conrad is walking back from the bathroom as Redbird starts to brag on Jeremiah’s behalf for sleeping with Lacie Barone over Spring Break. “You were away from Belly for, like, what, two seconds, and you’re already hooking up with the hottest girl at Finch?” Conrad seethes in anger from across the room, as Jere runs past him to throw up. Conrad follows him, looking like he’s about to beat his ass (I wish), but when he finds his brother with his head in the toilet, he just walks away. Jere’s too drunk to meet up with Belly, he blows her off, and heads upstairs to sleep it off.
It’s Not All of the Sudden. Don’t You Get That? It’s Always.
Belly still shows, of course, but as she runs eagerly to the lifeguard tower, shouting his name, she finds Conrad instead. Of course, where else would he be besides exactly where she needs him? She tries to leave, but he convinces her to sit with him. A true man, Conrad wastes no time in telling Belly that Jeremiah cheated on her in Cabo. Belly, trying to keep a steely face over her embarrassment, tells him she already knew.
Conrad is mortified, insisting she’s not the type of girl who would take that from a guy. “I put up with a lot worse from you,” she manages with a straight face. Belly, GIRL, what are you talking about? Conrad pushes back, “I never so much as looked at another girl when we were together.” I get it, okay — Belly is in love with Conrad, she loves Jere. She can forgive Jere for cheating, but can’t forgive Conrad for being distant during his grieving period because it actually hurt her more than infidelity. Beautiful, thought-provoking, yada yada — get it together, Belly.
She starts walking away from Conrad, and he desperately chases her: “Belly, you’re getting married in a f**king country club. Who even are you?” Belly is pissed. She tells him that if he follows her, she’ll scream. He does more than just follow her:
As soon as “F**k, I still love you” came out, I was off my ass on the couch and on my feet, grabbing my jaw off the floor. She looks like she’s been hit by a truck. She tries to deny it, saying it’s just because of the wedding, he doesn’t mean it. But she knows she’s wrong. Chris Briney’s love confession was stunning. His delivery cracked me in half. His whispering of “this summer”, the voice crack on “used to”, the tears welling in his eyes as he says he loves Jeremiah, but when he sees them together, he hates him, “Don’t be with him. Don’t marry him. Be with me.” I mean, talk about gut-wrenching. The whole scene was as perfect as you could want it to be, and so powerfully referenced Belly and Conrad’s heartbreaking beach confessional scene from season two.
When I say I had to walk away at Belly’s response, I mean it. I have never ever been so disappointed in her character. Despite the self-induced fan edit, despite admitting he’s all she ever envisioned for her future, despite dying to kiss him a few days ago, and despite the most beautiful love confession anyone’s ever received, she returns: “You will never be what Jere is to me,” we can basically hear Conrad’s heart shatter, “He’s my best friend. And he loves me no matter what. And he doesn’t take it away when things get hard. Nobody has ever treated me the way he does. Nobody. Least of all you. You and I… You and I were never anything.” With that, she turns around and leaves him, frozen in place, heartbroken.
Still Alive, Killing Time at the Cemetery
Listen, I get it. I get that this is literally a day before her wedding, she just realized that she spent the last four years with the wrong person, who she loves but isn’t in love with, she’s on her first gummy, she’s drunk, she’s emotional, and this is the most overwhelming thing she could possibly hear from him. But, I’m sorry, I just don’t care. Because we all know, next episode she’ll admit her feelings and call off the wedding. So why in the name of God did we have to see our boy destroyed like that? The wedding is in 24 hours, the time is now, Belly. You don’t marry a man after hallucinating his brother on a dance floor and saying he’s all you’ve ever wanted.
I went from being so proud of him to being ready to commit a crime of passion. She could have turned him down, but I’d be patient. Tell him she can’t talk about it right now, I’d understand. Even tell him that she loves Jere more than him and can’t possibly forgive him, I’d deal. But “you and I were never anything” is so unbelievably cruel, I just can’t forgive it.
Belly waits until she’s out of his view before she falls to the ground in a fit of sobs. Crying for Conrad, crying for herself, crying for them. Yeah, Belly, that was the craziest crash out of your life. She picks herself up and goes back to the house. Her knight in shining awful is passed out, drunk, on the bed, spread-eagled with no room for her. Hope that’s her first sign of what an insane choice she just made.
Loml by Taylor Swift adds a criminal layer of devastation to the already traumatic scene. She heads to her room and crawls in with Taylor, crying. Tay tries to press her, saying Jere never made it out and Conrad never came home, asking if she was with him. Belly just asks to go to sleep. Out on the dock, we see Conrad, wet-faced and stroking his own shoulder to soothe himself. Out at Susannah’s favorite part of the property, we get the heartbreaking realization that all he’s hoping for is his mom to magically appear and comfort him. All I need to see is justice for Conrad. It’s clear it’s coming, though, Jenny Han at least tells us that with the last shot of the episode. Belly sits up to knock on her wall, a tradition of hers and Jere’s since childhood. He does not knock back.
Last Hurrah took the wind out of me. I’ll give it to Han. She may have dropped the ball in the first half of the season, but since Conrad’s P.O.V., the good stuff just has not stopped coming. It’s easy to be frustrated with a slow burn, but this one is paying off. While it may have crushed my soul and I’ll struggle with Belly’s reaction probably forever (honestly, I just don’t think it’s realistic and borders on bad writing — Belly is a lot of things, but she’s never been cruel), we all can tell we’re on the brink of happily ever after, right? Now, I don’t think she’ll immediately be with Conrad. But the confession is coming, the fight between Jere and Con, and the end of Jeremiah and Belly (it just has to be), and by the end of this show, they’ll be sailing off into forever. This may have been a harsh blow for Team Conrad, but be patient. We ride at dawn.
Need a refresher on last week’s episode, Last Name, click here.
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