In a world where mothers are held to impossible standards while the bar for dads is buried, shown that someone is there to judge them no matter how they choose to parent, and under the constant stress of an endless task list, Anna McArthur is here to assure us none of that matters. Parenthood is a unique journey to every person: what works for one may not be the best approach for another, and we’re all in this messy thing called parenthood together. We got to sit down with the Hope for Moms author to discuss her new book and the breath-of-fresh-air narrative she’s sharing. Let’s dive into her world and explore the realities of her parent journey and why she chose to share it with others.
About Anna McArthur
Anna McArthur is a mom to four kids, including two recent college graduates and twin girls who are high schoolers. She is a blogger, newspaper guest columnist, and contributor to parenting magazines and websites, including Her View from Home and the Motherly Collective. Anna’s essays have recently been published by Grown and Flown and Business Insider.
A graduate of Clemson University and Columbia Theological Seminary, Anna lives in Athens, Georgia, with her husband, Bryan, and their teenage girls, who are much cooler than her. Anna loves to read, garden, hike, and eat dips for dinner.
Be sure to follow Anna on her socials: Instagram | Facebook, and check out her websites HopeForMomsBook.com and AnnaMcArthur.com.
Thank you for talking with us, Anna. Let’s get started.
For any readers unfamiliar with you or your blog, can you give them an idea of the type of parenting advice you offer in Hope for Moms: It’s Tough Out There, but So Are You?
Hope for Moms is a guide for mothers navigating both the joys and heartbreak of being a mom, sharing my personal journey through parenting difficulties such as learning disabilities, LGBTQ+ identities, and adoption. Structured around a triage plan that helped me prioritize my family’s needs, it includes practical insights, quotes, and reflection questions to support moms in their journey of resilience and soul care. I offer reassurance to mothers, reminding them they have the strength to not only survive motherhood but thrive.
In one of my favorite chapters, I remind parents not to treat their kids like walking report cards. Nobody doubts that you love your kids to the moon and back; we all know that they carry our hearts out into the world every single time they leave the house. But it’s really hard to know if we’re doing a good job. There are no grades or report cards for moms.
I especially struggled with this when I left church work and became a full-time stay-at-home mom. Suddenly, I was no longer getting performance reviews, feedback on my programs, or any other data about the effects of how I spent my days. I wanted reassurance that I’d made the right choice and that my kids would be okay, but a mom can’t really ask her kids for a performance review. (Can you imagine how drunk with power that would make them?)
“We convince ourselves that our kids’ accomplishments and milestones are reflections of our own mothering abilities.”
— Anna McArthur, Hope for Moms
How was I supposed to know if I was doing it “right” or not? I can’t be the first mom in history who looks for outside validation, especially when in a new stage of life with kids. Instead of realizing that we’re probably doing okay, many of us become convinced that we’re blowing it. In our desperation, then, we turn our kids into walking report cards. We convince ourselves that our kids’ accomplishments and milestones are reflections of our own mothering abilities.”
What separates your book from other types of parenting books?
I hope readers will find my writing style to be authentic and generous. When I was writing the book, I imagined sitting down for coffee with a younger mom who was overwhelmed, but earnest. My book isn’t a victory tour; it includes the things I wish I’d done differently, which will hopefully allow readers to give themselves some grace when they make mistakes. Hope For Moms is for any caregiver who thinks, “I did not see this coming,” or “I was not properly trained for this!” It’s for those of us who need some help accessing our resilience. It’s also a book for moms who have been navigating motherhood for multiple decades and are now wondering what is next for them.
What inspired you to take your parenting advice and expertise from the Anna McArthur blog and turn it into a book?
I have a heart for moms who are struggling or feel overwhelmed, but who are actually doing a much better job at motherhood than they give themselves credit for. I know what it is like to look around and think that everyone else knows what they are doing — that’s a lonely feeling. I started out as a blogger, and I eventually found that I needed a bigger container to write about some of the tough topics that were important to me. This book is about some of the curveballs we were thrown as a family, but also about how we’ve grown as a result. We’re braver now.
What is your favorite thing about being a parent, and what is the thing you find most challenging?
I love the privilege of watching my kids become who they fully are meant to be. It’s like the image becoming clearer and clearer on an old polaroid picture: at first, it’s just an outline, but then their unique and glorious selves emerge. The thing that is most challenging for me is to not disappear into my kids: it’s not healthy for me or my kids when I over-identify with them.
Your blog features the phrase “love means showing up” more than once. What makes that phrase important to you, and why do you think it will resonate with readers?
I mean “showing up” in a very literal way. There’s just something really important about physically showing up for the people in our lives. One of my friends says that if you can make a funeral or a friend’s soccer game or a birthday dinner, you absolutely should go. I’m convinced that we can get through just about any challenge if we know that we aren’t alone.
What would you say to parents who might be hesitant to read a book about parenting and/or ask for guidance in general?
Being a mom is just hard, and that’s not because moms are doing something wrong. I want moms to feel empowered to figure out what will support them most during this journey of raising kids. At the end of each chapter, I have questions or quotes that help the reader apply my observations to their own lives. I also wanted to emphasize that caring for ourselves as moms isn’t ONLY so we can care for others; we need to tend to ourselves because we are lovely humans who are worthy of love and attention.
Other than yours, do you have any must-read book recommendations for parents, either for more parenting advice or for entertainment?
I have some very specialized books that have helped me understand my specific kids over the years, like Smart but Scattered Teens, This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids, and Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? Generally, I love Carla Naumberg, Glennon Doyle, and Kelly Corrigan’s perspectives on being moms and humans in the world.
Finally, can you touch on the importance of taking care of yourself as a parent? What acts of self-care help you re-energize yourself and avoid burnout?
I have a “that sounds fun” list that includes one thing a month that I have to look forward to: sometimes it’s small, like dinner with friends, and sometimes it’s big, like a trip I’m planning. It gives me a chance to remind myself what I enjoy. It’s good practice for parents to remember who they are outside of being a parent! What do I want to do? What sounds fun to me? What do I want to eat? Do I even like this hobby anymore? For decades, gardening, yoga, and reading have sustained me. I’ve recently added horseback riding lessons, which is a wild thing for a middle-aged, uncoordinated lady to pursue, but it brings me so much joy!
In a world that often feels like a relentless gauntlet of judgment and never-ending to-do lists for mothers, Anna McArthur steps forward with a powerful reminder: you are not alone, and your journey is uniquely yours. Through her honest reflections and practical insights in Hope for Moms, Anna dismantles the myth of perfect parenting, offering a comforting hand to those navigating the beautiful chaos. We’ve had the privilege of glimpsing into her world, exploring the realities she’s embraced, and understanding her heartfelt motivation to share this authentic narrative with others. As Anna eloquently demonstrates, there’s immense strength in acknowledging the messiness and finding solace in our shared human experience of raising the next generation. Be sure to pick up Hope for Moms today!
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