It’s Grover Underwood’s birthday! To celebrate, we’ve put together some of his most notorious quotes throughout the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.
In case you need a refresher, Grover Underwood is a satyr (a mythological being that is part human and part goat) and Percy’s best friend in Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. The loyal, nature-loving character’s birthday is today, so we had to highlight our all-time favorite quotes from him.
1. There’s no comfort food quite like a Diet Coke. . . well, a Diet Coke can.
“‘Mr. D,’ Grover asked timidly, ‘if you’re not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?’
‘Eh? Oh, all right.’
Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
2. Eat your greens (and your aluminum)!
“’Meat!’ he said scornfully. ‘I’m a vegetarian.’
‘You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans,’ I reminded him.Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
3. I mean. . . he isn’t wrong.
“’But how did you know where we were?’ Annabeth asked.
‘Advanced planning, my dear. I figured you would wash up near Miami if you made it out of the Sea of Monsters alive. Almost everything strange washes up near Miami.’”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters
4. If you know, you know.
“’Let us find the dam snack bar,’ Zoë said. ‘We should eat while we can.’
Grover cracked a smile. ‘The dam snack bar?’
Zoë blinked. ‘Yes. What is funny?’
‘Nothing,’ Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. ‘I could use some dam French fries.’”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan’s Curse
5. Well, that’s not creepy at all.
“‘You’re a stalker with hooves.’Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan’s Curse
‘I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.’”
6. The pain of unrequited love.
“’Eternity with Artemis?’ He heaved a big sigh.
Thalia rolled her eyes. ‘You satyrs. You’re all in love with Artemis. Don’t you get that she’ll never love you back?’
‘But she’s so…into nature,’ Grover swooned.
‘You’re nuts,’ said Thalia.
‘Nuts and berries,’ Grover said dreamily. ‘Yeah.’”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan’s Curse
7. That’s a valid reaction, Grover.
“Grover started to sniffle and I figured if I didn’t cheer him up he’d either start bawling or chewing up my mattress. He tends to eat household objects whenever he gets upset.”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan’s Curse
8. The goatyback ride?
“When I got across, I looked back and saw Tyson giving Grover a piggyback ride (or was it a goatyback ride?).”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Battle of the Labyrinth
9. Another valid reaction. You do you, bud.
“’Grover Underwood of the satyrs!’ Dionysus called.
Grover came forward nervously.
‘Oh, stop chewing your shirt,’ Dionysus chided. ‘Honestly, I’m not going to blast you. For your bravery and sacrifice, blah, blah, blah, and since we have an unfortunate vacancy, the gods have seen fit to name you a member of the Council of Cloven Elders.’
Grover collapsed on the spot.”Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Last Olympian