From Celine Dion’s emotional Eiffel Tower performance after her stiff person diagnosis, a rare neurological disorder, to Snoop Dogg carrying the Olympic Torch through the Parisian suburbs of Saint-Denis, to world-class athletes putting on an international fashion show, the Paris 2024 Olympics are off to a thrilling start!
There are 45 sports in the 2024 Paris Olympic Games, ranging from archery to wrestling, but we here at Bookstr wish a few fictional ones could be crafted into international sporting sensations! From deathly to leisurely activities, each of the below trials/sports was invented by renowned authors.
The Gauntlet – Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, a gauntlet is both an “assemblage” and an “ordeal” — both of which perfectly describe the ordeal Violet Sorrengail undergoes in Fourth Wing. The Gauntlet is essentially a vertical obstacle course riddled with fear and death. All first year riders are required to complete the gauntlet or die trying before becoming second year students. The Gauntlet is a “treacherous trail [that] zigzags upwards” with five ascending obstacles, each increasing in difficulty. The goal is to reach the top with the fastest time. The alternative isn’t just losing. It’s death.
Quidditch – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
According to Rowling’s fictional histories, Quidditch was invented by a medieval wizard named Bowman Wright who drew his inspiration from a few magical and non-magical sports played across Europe in the 11th century. After centuries of refinement, “modern” Quidditch involves highly specialized equipment and a variety of balls, including the golden snitch. Quidditch Through the Ages goes on to detail how Hogwarts began incorporating the sport into their academic curriculum and describes famous players throughout history, the World Cup, and even the sport’s governing body — the International Quidditch Association.
Sunball – House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas
Sunball is a sport played in Sarah J Maas’s Crescent City series, primarily explained to readers through Bryce and Ithan’s POVs. In Maas’s urban fantasy, Sunball is played by professionals and collegiate teams alike, and seems to be the most popular sport in all of Midgard. Very little is known about the sport and its gameplay aside from it takes place in a stadium and players must wear helmets. Many readers believe this sport is similar to baseball, however, with so little evidence it’s difficult to say for certain. Regardless, the Sunball hype is very real in Midgard! We would love a chance to experience the atmosphere, drink a beer in the stands, and cheer on our favorite player, Ithan Holstrom!
German Batball – The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut
German Batball is a fictional sport created by Kurt Vonnegut for his book The Sirens of Titan, and unlike Sunball, German Batball is confirmed to be similar to baseball. Major differences include a melon-like floppy ball and only three bases instead of four. Batting is also a bit different. Batters place the ball on their fist and use their other arm to hit the ball — no actual bat involved. From there the batter runs the bases and the opposite team tries to tag them with the ball. This is not to be confused with a real German bat and ball game called Schlagball, despite it being the obvious inspiration for Vonnegut’s German Batball.
The Running Man – The Running Man by Stephen King
The Running Man was first published in 1982, but it really took off in popularity when the hit movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger was released in 1987. In this American dystopia there is little joy except for the TV game show, also called The Running Man, hosted by the government-operated agency, the Games Network. The main character, Ben, enters to compete in this grueling game of survival. For each hour he survives, Ben earns more cash, which he needs to purchase medicine for his sick daughter and keep his wife off the streets. Ben has the choice to kill Hunters, government officials tasked with taking him down, and other law enforcement personnel for a chance to win the grand prize.
The Hunger Games – The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Suzanne Collins derived her Hunger Games world from Greek mythology — specifically the story of Theseus and the Minotaur. The city of Athens regularly sent 14 youths to Crete to battle the Minotaur in the famed Labyrinth. These teens and young adults were sent to atone for past deeds committed by the whole of Athens, similar to how the districts must sacrifice two of their own youths to atone for the rebellion decades prior. Although Katniss may argue with calling the Hunger Games a sport, there is a victor, there is strategy, and there is extreme competition — all the things we love about the Olympics!
Brockian Ultra-Cricket – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
In Brockian Ultra-Cricket, a relatively low-stakes sport, players sporadically hit each other and run away. The game consists of many ridiculous rules. Rule one, for example, is to grow an additional three legs! The reasoning? It’s entertaining for the crowd. Rule two: clone your best player over and over again. The rules also remind players to apologize — from a safe distance — for hitting opposing team members. This game is absolutely bonkers, and it’s very unclear how to win — rule six simply states whoever wins first, wins! What makes this sport even more exciting is the legend of the rule book’s disappearance. Once upon a time the rule book was complete, and then it collapsed into a black hole, never to be seen again.
While some of these fictional sports are sensational at best and murderous at worst, they are all enchanting to read about and engage with alongside our favorite characters. What I wouldn’t give to drink a beer in the stadium and watch Ithan Holstrom do his thing! Good thing we have the Olympics to host the greatest sports spectacles of our time.
Need more athletic inspiration? Check out these Autobiographies by Inspiring Female Athletes!
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