One of the most intrinsic elements of the human experience is our romantic and sexual relationships. But, in a culture where sensationalism sells and sex is increasingly commodified and skewed, the discussion around sexual health is more and more necessary. Completely dismissing sexual taboo, five authors tackle differing topics surrounding sexual health, education, and enjoyment to challenge their readers’ perspectives and highlight the inherent connection between mental health and sexual pleasure. The road to fulfilling and safe sex begins with knowledge and self-understanding, and these five nonfiction books pave the way.
Trigger Warning: This article contains mentions of sexual assault. Please exercise personal care when reading.
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagosaki
Women’s sexuality and health have been a relatively neglected and uncharted territory in science for much of human medical history. Emily Nagoski’s transformative bestseller Come As You Are burst onto the market with its refreshingly honest dissection of women’s sexual health and finally plunged the topic into the mainstream. Nagoski uses groundbreaking science and research to demonstrate that the most important factor in building and sustaining a confident and fulfilling sex life is your understanding of and relationship with your body. Stress, mood, trust, and body image are highlighted as central factors in women’s sexual wellbeing in Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide. Pleasure and well-being are intrinsically linked in healthy sexual relationships, and Nagoski opens her readers’ eyes to their path in obtaining them.
This Book Is Gay by Juno Dawson
One of 2023’s most challenged and banned books, Juno Dawson’s This Book Is Gay is a humorous, comprehensive, and pertinent guide to LGBTQ+ community sex education. A former sexual education and wellness teacher herself, Dawson provides an honest, unfiltered approach to educating a consistently neglected demographic in all things sex and, unfortunately, has met widespread backlash for doing so. Responding to absurdist (and arguably homophobic) claims that This Book Is Gay is pornographic, Dawson responds:
“I would challenge anyone to be titillated or aroused by what is essentially a textbook. What I would say, however, is that it’s thorough. We teach young people who are 11, 12, and 13 years old how babies are made. We teach them about sexual intercourse, contraception, and sexually transmitted infections. And that’s great, and we should be doing that. But I also think LGBTQ+ people should be taught about sexual relationships […] We’re all very clear, This Book is Gay is not for children. This is a book kept in the young adult section, like a lot of the books that are on those banned book lists. […] Throughout the book, there are content warnings and trigger warnings. But of course, that’s not what people do on the internet. They screengrab it out of context. The complaints about this book are not about keeping kids safe. Because if we wanted to keep kids in the United States safe, we wouldn’t be talking about books. We would be talking about guns.”
– Juno Dawson in an interview with The Rolling Stone
Dawson creates a safe, comfortable space to dissect sexual health amongst the LGBTQ+ community. A staple for sex ed classes and an essential book on sexual health, This Book Is Gay is a necessary read.
Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault by Katie Simon
Sexuality journalist and sexual assault survivor Katie Simon delivers in this incredibly necessary, poignant guide to navigating sexual trauma on the road to healing. Tell Me What You Like is a culmination of Simon’s decade-long research interviewing sexual assault survivors who faced troubles with intimacy following their trauma to ultimately uncover that there is no single path towards healing. Simon’s research uncovered invaluable findings to support survivors on their journeys from coping with triggers, PTSD, anxiety, depression, physical pain, and unpacking embodied consent, pleasure, and romantic and sexual relationships in the wake of their trauma. In this groundbreaking exploration, Simon balances empathy and hope in speaking to the shift in sexual culture we so desperately need.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
Esther Perel, world-renowned psychotherapist, reflects on her 20 years of clinical experience treating hundreds of loving couples with homes completely lacking in passion in her international bestseller Mating in Captivity. Perel challenges her readers to look at the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and maps the steps needed to bring sexual passion into the home. Postulating society’s cultural inclination for candor and equality is directly opposed to erotic desire, Perel suggests that sexual excitement is not always politically correct. By leaving sexual shame and emotional housekeeping outside the bedroom and tuning into their partner’s desires, Perel insists that couples will feel more freedom and passion in their sex life.
Polysecure: Attachment Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern expands the conversation around attachment theory from those practicing monogamy to polyamorous individuals seeking secure, healthy relationships with multiple partners in her game-changing book Polysecure. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, Fern expands our understanding of how these emotional experiences influence and complicate our relationships and then counters them with six strategies to build secure, fulfilling attachments with multiple partners. Providing nonmonogamous people specific tools to strengthen their relationships, Fern offers a groundbreaking perspective on attachment theory and polyamory as a whole that is fascinating for all readers.
Sexual health is quintessential to sexual pleasure. Understanding yourself, your body, and your boundaries is necessary in maintaining a healthy and happy sex life. Each of these nonfiction pieces, no matter their target audience, offers invaluable perspectives on the human sexual experience and all privilege mental health in achieving optimal sexual health.
For more information on sexual health, check out our article Sexual Health: Authors Who Proudly Use Their Voices.
For more perspective, expanding nonfiction titles, shop our Nonfiction Titles for the Enlightened Mind bookshelf.
