Tag: witches

5 Philosopher’s Stone Memes

I know I know, half of you are scandalized, but today, on the eighteenth anniversary of the film release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, how am I supposed to bring sorcery into it? Apparently american children in 1997 thought philosophy was for nerds. You know what’s for nerds? Harry Potter. There are a lot of ways to reminisce about the only movie where they actually wear robes, but we’re internet people second, here at Bookstr. I think you know where this is going.

Flawless Logic 

Image via QuickMeme 

Alright, I was the same age as Harry when I first read this book, and not much older when I saw the movie, but what was Dumbledore’s thinking here? I admit I don’t remember all the details, but you basically can’t get into Gringotts, and you certainly can’t get out. And that’s under normal circumstances! They couldn’t throw another dragon or two in front of the thing? And let me ask you this: did they ever try dragons against Voldemort in the first place? I don’t care how much of an evil badass you are or whatever, what are you really going to do with ten tonnes of angry fire lizard in front of you? I know they threw dragons at children in the fourth book, but without warning? Please. I just want to know they tried it. And I know Hogwarts is supposed to be pretty safe, but even without all the later counter-evidence, I’d wonder. 

 

Actually, What Did He Do? 

Image via Inverse 

This is a dazzling take, obviously, and there’s a lot to unpack, but really it just made me wonder what Malfoy’s dad like… does. Sure, he’s a Death Eater, but not every second, and how much Death Eater work is there to do while Voldemort’s presumed dead? I know he’s very busy being privileged and racist and hearing about things Potter does, but what does he do the rest of the time? Just sit around the house being angry about things and making house elves miserable? For real, it’s never mentioned that he works at the ministry or anything. We really don’t know anything about how the Malfoys got so powerful, or about what they do now. It never bothered me before, but now it’s driving me crazy. I also absolutely love the suggestion that he invented toaster strudel. Invented it! It’s so random and so muggle centric. Priceless. 

 

More Great Ideas! 

Image via Inverse 

Alright, so you’re not allowed to go into the forest, because it’s STUPID dangerous, and you’d definitely die. Also, it’s even more dangerous than usual because someone’s going around killing and eating unicorns. Never go there! Wait, out after dark, maybe risking their lives trying to relocate an illegal dragon for the groundskeeper? Well, why don’t you do something even more dangerous for that very same groundskeeper? It’s like, oh, you’re smoking? How about some meth? That’ll teach you. I mean, I guess they learn something, but it’s not their lesson, I think the rest of the story can attest. And the second they’re in the forest, Hagrid is like, you know what? Let’s split the party. Best witch with me! Here’s my dog, try not to die. And then, not only are they in danger, but it’s literal Voldemort, running around in the woods right by the school. Who’s keeping track of school safety around here? 

 

We Don’t Judge. Or Use Judgement. 

Image via Inverse 

Look, I know the twins are chill as it gets, but they really should have noticed this. Don’t judge, that’s great! But bring it up, please? Did they see it and go “aww, Ron has a friend” like, shouldn’t they know there’s noone named Peter in his year? They’re only a year or so above, and there are like five boys in his class, how would they not realise? Especially when this guy goes everywhere with Ron? I know what you’re going to say. Why would they ever actively check where Ron is? Well, if they want to sneak out of the tower, wouldn’t they need to know everyone else was asleep? And why weren’t they even a little worried any of the times Ron was just AWOL in the middle of the night? I know they support making poor discipline related choices, but he’s a baby, aren’t they worried? Have they ever walked right past him when he’s in the invisibility cloak? What did they think then, I beg of you? 

 

Sass Trio 

Image via Someecards 

These nerds had their moments. We all like to talk about Harry, as we should. “No need to call me sir, Professor” was the line of a generation, and I like him telling Snape that Ron’s misspelled name is a nickname. They say a lot of stuff to Snape. But I don’t think Hermione gets enough credit. She has fewer moments, sure, but they’re absolutely metal. Remember when she bitch slapped Malfoy, muggle style? Your fave could never. And what’s Malfoy going to do, tell his father? Hi dad, today I was slapped at wizard school. It would never occur to someone who’s always had magic right there. I’m honestly just sad she never slapped him again. Oh, sure, she could outspell him too, she’s a much better caster, but there’s just such a big energy about hitting that dude in the face. Classic. 

Featured image via Tumblr 

5 Best Witchy Quotes

For all my fellow witches out there, here a few quotes to inspire your magic this spooky season.

 

Image via History.com

 

#1 “I am Wicked in many ways.”  Jessica Spotswood, Born Wicked

 

#2 “You have witchcraft in your lips.” William Shakespeare, Henry V

 

#3 “A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” Terry Pratchett,  Wintersmith

 

 

#4 “For all you know, a witch may be living next door to you right now.” Roald Dahl, The Witches

 

#5 “Witches don’t look like anything. Witches are. Witches do.” Franny Billingsley, Chime

 

Featured Image Via University of Queensland

Top 7 Harry Potter Memes

Harry Potter has had twenty plus years to percolate in popular culture, and it’s produced a lot of content, including memes. Here are some funny ones.

 

He Takes His Job Seriously

 

Image via Imgur

 

The last thing Snape needs is art teacher vibes. I hate to let them down! It does make me feel like I understand Neville’s suffering though. Once in grade school, an art teacher told me I was bad at collages. I was stunned. I’m just glad I didn’t need to eat it.

 

 

Harry Potter, King of Shade

 

Image via LiveAbout

 

I’ve always said, if you can’t beat them, annoy them. It might not kill Voldy to get his name wrong, but I can’t imagine him reacting calmly. Sometimes you don’t need actual magic, just a really sick burn. Think of “no need to call me sir, professor.”

 

 

I’ve Connected Them!

 

Image via Screen Rant

 

Dumbledore, you ridiculous jumble of contradictions and eccentricities. Say what you will about Dumbledore and the wisdom of his choices either way, but he is objectively a TERRIBLE judge of character. Think of Quirrell.

 

 

Grammar is Life

 

Image via Pinterest

 

While this isn’t cannon… it’s cannon. It would be so like Hermione to just absolutely reject being killed by a mispronounced spell. Like, kill me, sure, but do it right. Here, let me help you with your murder technique. She just really couldn’t watch someone flounder.

 

 

There’s a Reason He’s Not in Ravenclaw

 

Image via Cheezburger

 

Obviously danger does follow Harry, but Harry does also follow danger. Like, anything dangerous happens, and Harry is like *butterfly meme* “Is this a situation I should get involved in?” I guess it’s what Godric Gryffindor would have wanted?

 

 

When you and Your Roommate fight

 

Image via Runt of the Web

 

I think we’ve all been there. Just pointedly staring at undone dishes and listening to top 40 music from across a small apartment. What are you guys going to do, slam your curtains? Hum loudly? You’ve got real problems, work it out!

 

Hermione’s always Been Metal

 

Image via Amino Apps

 

I mean, yeah, it would have made for a much shorter book, but I’m also not convinced it didn’t happen. Hermione is the sort of person who would be like “this is something I’ve been working on, it’s just simple” and then summon a dragon or something.

 

 

Featured image via BookBub

‘His Dark Materials’ “Perfect for TV Adaptation”, Says Star Ruth Wilson

His Dark Materials is coming to HBO this fall. The show is a joint effort between HBO and the BBC, and stars Ruth Wilson, Dafne Keen, James McAvoy, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. In an interview with The Guardian, Ruth Wilson spoke highly of the show, noting:

His Dark Materials is perfect for television.

 

She went on to say that with Game of Thrones, HBO has proven that television is no longer film’s poorer sister. In fact, she noted books are inherently better for the small screen, saying you can really take your time with a book’s content as opposed to rushing through its contents in an hour and a half on the big screen.

There’s no difference anymore and in a way, if you’re going to tell a drama – which this is, as well as being fantasy – you’ve got more time. You have eight hours to explore that, rather than an hour and a half.

 

Image via the Guardian
 

She says the show ‘feels special’ and she is very hopeful about how it will be received by general audiences. The scale of it would have been impossible years ago but nowadays, fantasy can look just as epic, if not more so, on the small than in film. Having more time to explore the world and get to know the characters are huge pluses as well.

His Dark Materials is a trilogy of epic fantasy books by Philip Pullman. It is a coming-of-age tale centering around two children in a strange alternative Oxford. While magic, witches, and giant armored polar bears exist in this universe, themes of spirituality and physics are also explored. The books have attracted controversy for their criticism of religion, but this hasn’t stopped them from being enormously popular, garnering numerous awards and reaching bestsellers lists. The iconic series will see its debut this fall on HBO and we cannot wait. 

 

Image via BBC
 

Are you excited for this classic fantasy series to finally get its well-deserved TV adaptation? Below, you can watch the official trailer for the show. Let us know what you think in the comments!

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Collider

 

Sabrina

13 ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ Quotes for a Spellbinding Week!

I don’t know about you, but when I was little (and by little I mean currently today as a fully grown adult) all I ever wanted was to awake one morning to find that I had become a teenage witch à la Sabrina.

 

Just think about how much more convenient life would be if, at the point of your finger, the world around you could change? You’d never have to wake up early to get ready and commute to work, you could just point and boom, you’d be ready! You could freeze time, erase all of your embarrassing moments from the ether, and never have to worry about a thing! You would have complete and total control over your life.

 

I think we can all just admit that Sabrina is goals. *sigh* Maybe someday…

 

In the meantime, soak up these thirteen quotes (and all the nostalgia that may ensue) from our favorite teenage witch, quirky aunts, and sassy ex-dictator kitty!

 

 

Mrs. QuickMen rule the world, and they do it by oppressing women, forcing us into stereotypical roles and shoes that create permanent foot problems… remember, a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. 

 

 

via GIPHY

 

Sabrina: It can take years to develop a craft. Look at my aunts Hilda and Zelda.

Josh: Which craft were they involved in? Which craft were they involved in?

Sabrina: Witchcraft? Who said anything about witchcraft?

 

 

 
 

Salem: I’m a cat, I’m curious, so kill me.

 

 

 

 

Sabrina: What’s the matter? I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal, I have to be a teenager and I have to be a girl all at the same time. That’s what’s the matter.

 

 

 

 

 

Harvey: Why do you need college? Let’s stick to our plan, after graduation we load up my bus and travel the country following the music.

 

 

 

 

Salem: I need a little fresh air and a latte.

 

 

 

 

Sabrina: So, can I ask you a question? Ever felt like you don’t fit in?

Jenny: Only all the time, but I don’t want to fit in! I researched it, and awkward people tend to be much more successful later in life. I look at Libby, I see tragedy!

 

 

 
 

Zelda: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

 

 

 

 

Sabrina: Woohoo! I’m normal! Gotta go tell the cat.

 

 

 

Jenny: But I like weird. I love weird. I bask in the glow of weird. 

 

 

 

Salem: Don’t ask me. I was an English major.

 

 

 

 

Sabrina: You are so weird!

Salem: [nodding] It helps break up the day.

 

 

 

 

Sabrina: I want a world where you can escape your problems and not learn anything.

                                                                             

via GIPHY

 

 

Featured Image Via Nickelodeon