Home » Traintracks

Tag: Traintracks

Four books stacked on top of each other (left side) beside an open book

Laugh out Loud with These 5 Insane Places to Read!

You can read anywhere. You can read in your house, on the bus, in a train, on a plane, you can read with the sunset behind you or with a sword fight in front of you.

 

Two people staring at each other through their respective books

Image Via NPR

 

But, using high tech sciencey things, we now know for sure, beyond any reasonable doubt, that these are the top five definite worst places to read.

 

5-In a burning building

 

Firefighters trying to put out a burning building

Image Via Practical Eschatology

 

The building is on fire. Well, time for a good book!

Don’t be that dude. The flames will destroy the pages and it’ll be too hot to properly read. You’ll get light headed. You will burn alive.

 

A book burning

Image Via The Guardian

 

And worst case, the book will burn into ash, and books shouldn’t be burned.

 

4-On Train Tracks

 

Don’t do this.

 

A POV shot of someone lying on traintracks

Image Via Time Magazine

 

There are two problems with this. For one, if you sit down normally then you could be sitting in a dark tunnel. Not good if you want to see what you’re reading without the assistance of a flashlight.

 

The subway arrives

Image Via Aliexpress

 

But let’s say the tunnel is lit up, like the picture above, or you’re outside, like the picture above that. Well, either way you’re sitting down on a terrain meant for a train that wasn’t meant for you to sit on. Sounds like your bum could be in a lot of pain. And if you lie down, that could hurt your spin. Not good.

ALSO A TRAIN COULD SMASH INTO YOUR FACE!

Picture this: You’re reading a good book. Completely engrossed. Eyes on the book, you don’t see that light coming for you at the end of the tunnel. But you hear it. You try to stand up, but you fall. It’s not so bad, you think, that could be something good. But here’s the thing…

 

Ben Affleck as Daredevil
Image Via Decider

“THAT’S NOT HEAVEN, THAT’S THE C TRAIN!”

And now instead of reading, you got hit by a train. Now that just sounds like a pain in the neck…

 

 

3-In the ocean

 

A person swimming (drowning?) in the ocean
Image Via Video Blocks

 

You’re underwater with a good book. Pacific ocean, let’s say? Yes, let’s say that.

The ocean is sparkling, glittering. Above you, colorful fish swim around you, dancing about like angels. You look down, but guess what? You can’t read. The water has washed the pages and smeared the ink.

 

Someone reaching above the surface of the water, straining to reach an unseen helping hand

Image Via Tony Evans

 

Now you have nothing to read while you drown. Life sucks sometimes, don’t it?

 

2-Space

 

Space

Image Via Wired

 

This seems romantic. Hurdling through the cosmos, a book in your hands, flying with the cosmos to the stars beyond the stars. Your eyes go to that first line and-

 

Even Starload nearly died in space...and he's half Celestial

Image Via Guardians of the Galaxy

 

You’re dead now. Wanna know why? Because you can’t breathe in space.

 

 

1-Skydiving

 

Skydiving

Image Via Skydive Mossel Bay

 

So you have your favorite book with you, but then a strange man in a red costume tells you to get ready. You put your trust bookmark in (don’t dogtail the page, you monster) and you put it at your side. There’s a parachute on your back. The plane opens up. You’re about to go skydiving.

With the wind whipping your face, you look below and see the ground. It looks like a painting. You take a breath and fall.

 

Skydiving

This is you, but you have a book in your hand  / Image Via Skydive Oz

 

As you tumble to the ground, you realize this might not ever happen again. You could die. Your blood is drumming through your veins. Your heart is going fast. With adrenaline pumping through you, you could just speed through the lines. When are you going to get another opportunity like this?

You open up your book and start to read. You’re reading fast, so fast, and you read both pages at breakneck speed. You flip the page, but you’re fighting against the wind. This is going to be harder than you think.

With all your might, you flip the page and readjust your hand, but the wind is too much. Not only is the wind literally shredding pages out of the book, but it feels like it could tear the skin off your hand.

The book flies out of your hand. That book cost a lot of money and you need to finish it before you give it back to mother earth. You look to where it’s gone, and you maneuver your body after it.

 

Skydiving

Image Via Fatherly

 

The light is harsh against your eyes. You squint, reaching out. But, Ghosh, what is that light? It’s yellow and it’s orange and it’s-!

 

A burning building, with leaping flames and billowing clouds of smoke.

Image Via Dissolve

 

A burning building. You can manage this. Reaching down, you grab the book. Yes, you have the book, and you will make this work. See that burning building? What a perfect place to read, you think, having not read this list.

 

Parachuting
Image Via BBC

You pull the parachute and gently glide into the burning building. But guess what?

 

A book burning

Image Via The Guardian

 

The book will burn into ash, and books shouldn’t be burned.

 

 

 

Featured Image Via INC


Bookstr is community supported. If you enjoy Bookstr’s articles, quizzes, graphics and videos, please join our Patreon to support our writers and creators or donate to our Paypal and help Bookstr to keep supporting the book loving community.
Become a Patron!