Tag: The Red Wedding

Happy Grouch Day! Six of the Grouchiest People in Fiction!

According to Sesame Street Magazine, October 15th is National Grouch Day—a day for all Grouches to celebrate their way of life.

 

National Grouch Day

Image Via Facebook

 

Since Sesame Street Magazine taught me everything I know, we’re going to celebrate National Grouch Day the only way we here at Bookstr know how—by making lists.

 

 

6-Ebenezer Scrooge

 

Ebenezer Scrooge

Image Via The Imaginative Conservative

 

The quintessential grouch, Ebenezer Scrooge is a cheap old miser who brings misery wherever he goes.

 

The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice

 

That’s a nice way of saying he’s a grouch. A miserable, old, grouch. Literally A Christmas Carol is about him “warming his cold heart”, a poetic way of saying him becoming less a dick.

 

Bah Humbug

Image Via Your WDW Store

 

A less talented writer would make A Christmas Carol an anatomy lesson about Scrooge getting that stick out of his butt, but (pun intended) luckily Charles Dickens is a talented writer. He gives us a wonderful story, retold countless times, about this cold-hearted grouch warming up into a bright happy person during one of the coldest nights in winter.

 

5-The Grinch

 

The Grinch

 

What is it with stories about grouches becoming better people being set on Christmas? Is it because Christmas is so cold and authors can’t resist the irony of a grouch shedding their cold heart on one of the coldest days in the year?

Either way, the Grinch is a Grouch. In fact, he looks like Oscar the Grouch!

 

Grinch and Oscar

Image Via Elise Skidmore

 

And don’t blame his grouchiness on the face he has a medical condition—his heart is literally “too sizes too small”—and don’t give me that nonsense that the Whos were mean to him. That’s only in the Jim Carrey movie, and we’re talking about Dr. Seuss’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas here, so you can…

 

 

His hatred of a holiday stems from one fact and one fact only: he hates seeing other people happy. Talk about a grouch!

 

 

4-Argus Filch

 

Argus Filch

Image Via The Harry Potter Lexicon

 

For all you Harry Potter fans and all you Hermione fans and all you David Bradley fans.

 

Argus Filch-movie

Image Via PopSugar

 

When we first meet Filch, he’s quite an unpleasant person. He hates children, students in particular, and it’s quite a strange hatred seeing as he works in a school. I don’t know, maybe the pay is good.

Still, he barks “What are you doing?!” so much you’d think he’d have ground that gravelly voice of his into dust. Be wary, from the students who sneak out at night to the ones who forgot to wipe their feet! Actually, revise that, even if you’re not doing anything wrong, you should still avoid him.

Miserable all the time, he’s rather sadistic, taking this unnerving delight in dishing out punishment to the students of Hogwarts. Look, and re-read, how much he enjoyed punishing young Harry in the first book when Harry was only eleven!

The only thing he seems to love is his cat, Mrs. Norris, but everyone loves cats.

 

Image Via Odor Klenz

 

Granted, as we learn more about him, his grouchiness becomes more understandable. He’s harassed by Peeves, the Poltergeist, and he’s a squib, meaning he can’t perform magic. He also evacuated all the students in the Battle of Hogwarts and, despite being unable to perform magic, fought against the Death Eaters. So you know what? Maybe he’s not too bad…

 

Slick

Image Via Reddit

 

He’s actually pretty cool, but still a major grouch.

 

3-Walder Frey

 

For all you Game of Thrones fans and all you David Bradley fans, Walder Frey.

 

Argus Frey?

Image Via ImgFlip

 

Ignoring his part in the Red Wedding, Walder Frey is still a prick.

After farting his way after Ser Edmure Tully’s call to arms because he wants to arrive when the battle is done, Walder Frey is immediately a prick and it only gets worse from there. When Catelyn Stark meets with him, we find that he’s not a nice old man at all. Toothless and wrinkled, he sits in his chair and brags about how he is still sexually active. With 28 kids roaming around, you’d think he’d care about at least one of them.

 

Walder Frey

Image Via A Song of Ice and Fire Wiki

 

Not a chance. Even at the age of 91, Walder Frey is as self-serving as ever. Being the leader of his house, no one trusts him or his family. Thus, instead of making amends, Walder sees fit to complain about this and continue to deserve the contempt of noble houses throughout Westeros.

He’s a miserable person to be around. A real grouch.

And you know what? I’m not going to ignore the Red Wedding.

 

Walder Frey

Image Via Imgflip

 

This man orchestrated it because some dude snubbed his ugly daughter and he wanted to get ahead in life. Screw you, you miserable old fart.

 

 

2-Smaug

 

Smaug
Image Via Smithsonian Magazine

 

Smaug is small. He’s a tiny dragon, but that’s no excuse for being such a grouchy ball of flames.

 

Smaug

HE’S ALSO LAZY / Image Via The One Ring.Net

 

After destroying a kingdom just for the money, he then spends the next 150 years in a mountain. Mass murder for money he doesn’t plan to do anything with? Talk about a miser!

 

Bilbo

Image Via Pipedia

 

I think we can all agree that Bilbo is the happiest man in the world, at least in The Hobbit!

 

Smaug and Bilbo

Someone drew this! / Image Via PInterest

 

When Bilbo visits Smaugh, what does Smaug do? Well, he’s amused by him, but ultimately he just wants to be left alone. What a grouch.

And then he burns a town down because he wants to be alone. What a grouch. A mass-murdering grouch.

 

 

1-Captain Ahab

 

Captain Ahab
Image Via The Guardian

 

A megalomaniac fanatic, Captain Ahab is obsessed with capturing a whale because on a previous voyage the whale bit off his leg.

That’s it. Moby Dick, a book big enough to break someone’s jaw, is about how instead of calling it quits, instead of moving on, Captain Ahab wears a prosthetic leg made out of whalebone and intends to turn the whale who bit him into bones.

Get over it dude.

 

Everything you need to know about Captain Ahab
Image Via Shmoop

And it wouldn’t be so bad if Ahab was the least bit likable. But he isn’t. His only drive in his life to find and kill the Whale. He forces his crew to support his insane mission just so he can kill a whale.

Three hundred pages just looking for a whale while his crew suffers, and he doesn’t stop and think “Maybe I should be considerate to the crew who is risking their lives for my stupid obsession”. That thought doesn’t even pass through his head.

 

Captain Ahab endangers his crew yet again

GET OVER IT DUDE / Image Via Consortiumnews

 

Even when his ship is destroyed and he and what’s left on his crew is on the boat, he’s still chasing after a whale. GET OVER IT DUDE!

You weren’t even nice, Ahab, you were just a real grouch. You’re going to jump for joy when this grouch is dragged to the bottom of the sea by the very thing he’s been trying to kill.

DIE YOU GROUCHY GROUCHY MAN!

 

 

…HAPPY GROUCH DAY!

 

 

Image Via Muppet Wiki – Fandom
GRRM talking on 60 Minutes

George R.R. Martin Talks His ‘Bloodthirsty’ Reputation on ’60 Minutes’!

Winter is here and the final season of Game of Thrones has finally arrived! While most are clamoring about the first episode (and rightly so), there was also another large event last night in the lead-up to the premiere, interviewed by George R.R. Martin. George R.R. Martin was interviewed on a special segment of 60 Minutes, where he talked in length about the series, his attitude toward killing characters, and his thoughts on the show overtaking his own source material.

To highlight a segment that doubtlessly everyone is curious about from CBS George R.R. Martin talked about his infamous reputation for killing characters. George R.R. Martin noted his reputation for being ‘bloodthirsty’ but thought it was being a little unfair. He noted (technically) that Star Wars or Star Trek kill more characters than he does but the difference comes from those deaths being a statistic, happening to unnamed characters that the audience feels nothing for. So, they become statistics instead of truly affecting the audience, which George R.R. Martin hopes to avert with how he approaches killing off characters.

 

Several GOT characters stand around in the infamous Red Wedding massacre
IMAGE VIA ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

George R.R. Martin noted he always tries to make his death scenes ‘important’ and ‘unexpected’, both taking the audience by surprise while really making them feel the impact of what happened. On deaths like Ned Stark or the Red Wedding, Martin noted the audience assumed these characters were safe because they were the heroes and the heroes can’t die. On choosing to kill off the assumed main characters, Martin hoped to truly shock the audience and take his series in a direction that other works of fiction simply didn’t go in. However, he revealed writing these scenes wasn’t easy for him, as the characters were so real he felt truly awful when he wrote their deaths. In fact, George R.R. Martin wrote A Storm of Swords around the titular Wedding first because it was so hard for him to truly commit to creating the act itself. We can certainly sympathize, George!

 

George R.R. Martin further commented that he always planned to have The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring done before the series was over but for whatever reason, it didn’t happen. Martin said it was quite a ‘blow’ when it did happen but went on to say he was very happy with how the television series has adapted his work, considering it immensely faithful and predicting the ending won’t be much different from his own. He did note that of course the series was different but all adaptations differ from their original work, using the example of how Spider-Man has changed across different mediums from Stan Lee’s original superhero.

 

George R.R. Martin talks with Anderson Cooper on 'Sixty Minutes'
IMAGE VIA CBS NEWS

The most exciting part of the interview (for us, anyway) was when Martin revealed what writing the first chapter was like. He said he was writing another science fiction novel at the time and the first scene of Game of Thrones just came to him. The first scene he put down into words was where the Stark family found the direwolf pups, banging it out over three days. He went on to note that the scene ‘haunted’ him, with its characters seeming so real him. The world sprung forth from ideas he crafted from this scene, such as the concept of the world’s seasons that could go on for years and the kingdom around the North. He went on to flesh out the lineage of the kings and even drew the map that he had a concept of the world.

An excerpt from the full interview with George R.R. Martin can be found below:

 

 

 

Featured Image Via CBS NEWS