On this day in the distant year of 1973, The Princess Bride was published. If you haven’t read the book, you most likely watched the iconic movie that came to in 1987. And if you haven’t seen the movie where have you been? It’s filled with sword fights, magic, revenge, princesses and a handsome swash buckling hero. The characters in The Princess Bride were savage and no movie today can rival the writing of this dialogue.
1. Inigo Montoya: My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die!
2. Westley: ‘To the pain’ means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what ‘to the pain’ means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
3. Fezzick: I just want to know if you are doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
4. Vizzini: He didn’t fall? Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
5. Inigo Montoya: Fezzick, where is that wheelbarrow we left with the Albino?
Fezzick: Over the Albino.
6. Miracle Max the Wizard: He’s only mostly dead. If he were all dead, there’s only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: And what’s that?
Miracle Max the Wizard: Go through his pockets and look for loose change.
7. Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
8. Buttercup: We’ll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You only say that because no one survived.
9. Inigo Montoya: I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
The Princess Bride is a fantastic movie based on a book about a book. And it’s also the inspiration for a host of fabulous memes. Sure, they’re a little niche, and you have to do some digging, but I already did that part, so sit back and enjoy.
I, like Westley, was startled out of nowhere to discover these. Discovering new memes is a little more fun than discovering rodents of unusual size, though. Unfortunately I didn’t get the incredible situational irony he did. If only I’d said very loudly that I I didn’t think anything like this existed and then someone yeeted it at my face. Still, I’m glad they’re here, and I’m glad they’re such high quality. Also, does Westley have a lot of confidence here? ‘Large rats? Who would believe something so crazy?’
How did William Goldman break into my apartment and record my thoughts decades before I was even born? I mean, there’s relatable content, and then there’s being entirely called out, and this is the intersection of that venn diagram. It’s like the book, the movie, whoever made this meme, and whoever posted it really get me. Yikes. I should probably write some apology letters. If you’re out there, I’m sorry for relating to you.
The Chris Fleming meme is perennial, and I kind of love that some effort was actually put into the editing, but none was put into picking the pictures of Buttercup. It works! And it shows the meme creator’s priorities. As revelations from this meme go, it’s maybe middling, though Buttercup might disagree. We all learn things we can’t even imagine, and thank goodness we have this meme to express them.
Honestly this is all just solid advice. Sure, he applied it for a very different genre of introduction, but whether you’re trying to get revenge very politely, or applying for an office job, greeting the person and telling them your name is a helpful move, and just plain good manners. If you’re going for the second, I might leave off the death threats, but hey, I’m just one person with one opinion. You’ve gotta live your best live.
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Vizzini, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” Or something. We’ve all been there. You learn a new word and then not only use it left and right, but hear it everywhere. I really like the word ‘ameliorate’, for example, and if it were as flexible as inconceivable, I might use it this regularly. Some people think he just doesn’t understand it, but I choose to believe he does and is just being outrageously dramatic.
Featured image via Tumblr
In case you haven’t noticed, the end of this decade seems to be dedicated to remaking movie classics! From The Lion King and The Jungle Book to Ghostbusters and Overboard, Hollywood has been putting a modern spin on the classic movies of our childhoods.
However, some movies shouldn’t be remade – at least Carol Kane, who stars alongside Billy Crystal, seems to think so. The Princess Bride is a novelty of its own and Carol Kane believes it should remain that way. In a recent interview with Page Six, the famed actress said, “I don’t think a movie remake [would work] because I think it’s perfect,” and she believes that the film’s director, Rob Reiner, would think the same.
The Princess Bride was originally published in 1973 by William Goldman – who also adapted the film’s screenplay. When the film was released in 1987, it wasn’t an immediate box-office smash (inconceivable!), but it has since become a cult classic that caters to anyone and everyone.
Goldman produced a script that not only captured the attention of children with its swash-buckling adventure story, but there was also some satirical humor sprinkled in for adults. The film is extremely memorable and contains an infinite amount of quotable lines that will always give you a chuckle.
Even though Carol Kane’s character alone has about five minutes of screen time, her segment with Billy Crystal provides the funniest ad-libbed scene of all time and we can thank Rob Reiner for allowing them to improvise their scene together as the old couple that cures our hero, Westley.
In short, the film adaptation is perfect as it is, just as the original novel was. Goldman’s not-so-fairy tale will forever remain a cult classic and thus, the question is: should it be subject to Hollywood’s remake obsession?
Featured Image by Factinate