Tag: The Picture of Dorian Gray

Seven Hilariously Iconic Oscar Wilde Quotes

Was Oscar Wilde 200+ years ahead of his time? Probably. The man was so galaxy brain we don’t even need to make memes about him, everything he said is already practically a meme. You’ve gotta appreciate the sheer brilliant nonsense. Here’s some relatable content, all the way from the 1900s.

1. Strong-willed?

Image via Brainy Quote

Well, if they tempt you, what are you really supposed to do? Not give in? I don’t think so. We’re going to be out here, living our most decadent and ridiculous lives, just like he would have wanted. You’ve got to live your best life, and sometimes that means making whatever choices are offered.

2. That’s what friends are FOR

Image via Goalcast

I mean, if you’re going to be stabbed, at least you can do it like bros. It would be the polite thing to do. Murder doesn’t have to end a friendship. And who even said anything about murder? What are a few knife wounds between friends? It’s an allegory for betrayal anyway. Brotrayal?

3. But not too much

Image via Pinterest

‘Nuff said. Or is it? Damn you, Wilde.

4. Gotta go be cool somewhere

Image via Pinterest

Just living that cat life, writing decadent horror stories and being the icon of the century. Bored? Never. Just got things to do. What things? Who cares? If he’s doing it, he’s going to make it cool. He’s pulling off that haircut, for goodness’ sake.

5. We all know where the real party is

Image via Me.me

Not to be controversial, but — valid. I mean, Wilde’s life was not an easy one, so being denied something he never wanted anyway isn’t a big deal. It’s catchy and amusing, but Wilde is rejecting shame. Funny though. Honestly.

6. Vengeance?

Image via BrainyQuote

Of course, we’ve all got legions of enemies (citation needed), so any advice a dead poet can give is going to change all of our lives for the better. Plus, this is a satisfying move. It’s low effort, and as well as getting your revenge, you get to be very smug while doing it.

7. One feel-good quote? I’M WEAK

Image via Books on the Wall

This is not as much a funny one, but it is one of my all-time favorites and always good when you’re having a moment, which is all the time for me. It’s the sort of pleasant, post-nihilistic sentiment we can always use, especially in strange times.

 

 

Featured image via The Irish Times.

Six Galaxy Brain Tweets from SparkNotes

If you’re anything like me, SparkNotes has always been there when you need it. Now, they’re not only helping you pass your classes, but also serving you the spiciest of literature memes. They’re all pure gold, but here are just a few.

 

 

Theseus or not, YOU. ARE. VALID.

 

 

Unfortunately there’s no third option, so if you want to set the Minotaur up on a blind date with your friend, you’re kind of out of luck. Otherwise, you’re good though. What color do your sails need to be if you didn’t slay the Minotaur but you’re seeing it this Friday?

 

 

 

Some people appreciate attitude

 

 

I mean, he’s already in love with her by that point, but you get the idea. He’s always talking about how mean she is, and then boom, marry me! Of course, the same could be said of her. What a stressful ship. Still though, you know, I’m on it.

 

 

 

Want to delay your problems forever?

 

 

Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it sure killed Dorian Gray. Still, he lived a while looking fresh and evil in stead of old and evil, so if you’ve got the attic space, why not? In this economy though? The thing’s going under the bed.

 

 

 

Do You haunt an old building? Then you need…

 

 

 

Sure, you might not be the most conventionally attractive, but your secret underground hideaway is second to none, and isn’t it what’s on the inside that matters? What’s under the surface? (What’s directly  under the opera house?)

 

 

 

People can’t know we sit! And… murder!

 

 

Maybe not as relatable as the original video, but definitely a strong mood, and just as futile. The body stays right under the floorboards after all. If only there’d been seashells on the doorknobs, maybe things would have gone better.

 

 

 

Hindsight is… Ah man I botched it.

 

 

Don’t look back in anger (or at all). Going to the depths of hell is a nice gesture, and who doesn’t like musicians, but you’ve gotta stick the landing by actually fulfilling the deal. Just one opinion, but if both of you don’t come back alive, that’s a bad date.

 

 

 

All images via SparkNotes

Girl surrounded by books and reading

17+ Short Books You Can Read In One Day

...even if you’re reading this at any other time of the year when you just managed to scrape out a whole day (or two) to read, then it wouldn’t hurt to keep this list in mind…

Read more

5 Cocktails Oscar Wilde Would Have Absolutely Smashed

Today is the anniversary of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. Published in 1891, the novel’s hedonistic bent and homosexual undertones (and overtones) have since made it both notorious and a much-loved classic. The novel follows the moral descent of Dorian Gray, a handsome young gentleman whose soul is forever trapped within a painting. As Gray’s depravity deepens, his face in the painting grows increasingly marred with sin… while his face remains forever young, beautiful, and innocent.

Booze & Bookstr is back at it for thirsty Thursday, and we all know Oscar Wilde was thirsty in more ways than one. That’s less an insult than a badge of honor—Wilde remains notorious for his love of both life and debauchery, two things that the writer would not deem separate. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, he writes, “the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” Tempted to grab some bottles and drink with us? Remember: drink responsibly and read voraciously!

 

 

 

 

Absinthe cocktails

Wilde notoriously touted both love and hate for the green fairy: “After the first glass of absinthe you see things as you wish they were. After the second you see them as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” So not only would he partake of the next few beverages, he’d probably drink more of them than you.

1. Billionaire Cocktail

 

Image Via Stacie Flinner

 

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz. high-proof bourbon, such as Baker’s
  • 1 oz. fresh lemon juice
  • 12 oz. simple syrup
  • 14 oz. absinthe bitters or absinthe
  • 12 oz. grenadine syrup made from pomegranate
  • Lemon wheel, for garnish

Oscar Wilde enjoyed the finer things in life and always thought that they were worth paying for: “when I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know that it is.”

 

2. The Jaded Lady

 

Image Via Deskgram

 

Ingredients:

  • 1 ounce absinthe
  • 1/2 ounce vodka
  • 1/2 ounce Sauvignon Blanc
  • 1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 ounce lemon-parsley infused simple syrup (see ingredients below)
  • 3 drops aromatic bitters
  • For garnishing: 1 lemon, a few sprigs of fresh mint leaves

Wilde had a rather pessimistic view of monogamy, shaking down the institution of marriage with his unrelenting wit: “men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” That would be enough to leave any lady jaded.

 

Champagne Cocktails

It’s not every day that someone’s love of champagne literally makes history, but here we are, 119 years after Wilde’s death, discussing how the infamous dandy instructed staff to serve champagne “at intervals” throughout the day. Apparently, Wilde’s love of the bubbly made its way onto the record during his trial:

Mr. Oscar Wilde: Yes; iced champagne is a favourite drink of mine–strongly against my doctor’s orders.
Mr. Edward Carson, QC: Never mind your doctor’s orders, sir!
Mr. Oscar Wilde: I never do.

Given that the doctor’s orders say that one serving of French fries is, like, twelve f*cking French fries, I think we’ll all have to ignore them.

3. French 75

 

Image Via Serious Eats

 

Ingredients:

• 2 oz. London dry gin

• 1 tsp. superfine sugar

• 1/2 oz. lemon juice

• 5 oz. brut champagne

Oscar Wilde wisely said, “when good Americans die, they go to Paris.” But when you try this cocktail, you’ll be LIVING.

 

4. Red Eye

 

Image Via SeriouslyHungry

 

Ingredients:

  • 1½ Mr. Black Cold Brew Coffee Liqueur
  • 3 oz. Prosecco
  • 4 dashes Scrappy’s chocolate bitters
  • 2 dashes saltwater
  • Garnish with a lemon peel

Why sleep when you could be out living? “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all,” Oscar Wilde said—especially people who are passing out at 9 P.M. You’ll definitely be living rather than existing when you’re wide awake for the most entertaining hours of the nighttime.

 

And the ultimate combo…

5. Death in the afternoon

 

Image Via NYT Cooking

 

Ingredients:

  • 12 oz absinthe
  • 4 12 oz champagne

Oscar Wilde would smash and get smashed.

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Eventbrite.

Tinder

5 Of My Shitty Tinder Dates As Told Through Literary Characters

I’m a bit of a loner. Always have been, convinced I always will be. But that doesn’t stop me from going on dates. I like dates. I like people. People are interesting. Here are five of my worst Tinder stories as told through famous literary characters.

 

1. When I was twenty-two years old, I went on a date with this cutie who ordered a Jameson and ginger, took one sip, and decided it was just absolutely too strong. We then traded drinks, and he sucked down my gin and tonic and let me talk about myself for the better part of two hours. At the end of the date, he told me I was “the most interesting person he had ever met,” and considering he was a twenty-eight year old twice divorced Republican, I believed him. There was no good night kiss.

 

Dude was as boring as Nick Carraway and just as memorable. 

 

Nick Carraway

Image via Turn the Right Corner

 

2. At twenty-three, I made an Elizabeth Bennett sized mistake and ended up dating a George Wickham-esque nightmare I met off Tinder for just over six months. Beautiful, but unemployed. Charming, but a royal asshole. His golden locks distracted me from his shitty attitude and before I knew it he had me eating from the palm of his hand until months later when I finally opened my eyes and saw him for what he was. A dipshit.

 

“Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends—whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.” Yup, that sounds about right.

 

George Wickham

Image via Bustle

 

3. “There is something rotten in Denmark…and it’s his piss-poor attitude!” 

 

 

The Hamlet of my dating mistakes, this dude never stabbed my father but he might as well have. The first time I introduced him to my parents he called my father’s cooking “mediocre” and my mother’s kitchen “cluttered”. He never shut up about the “women of his past,” how awful they were, blah blah etc etc who cares, and when I called him out on it, he would wax poetic and flail dramatically and somehow, it was always my fault. We lasted three weeks.

 

4. At nineteen, I dated one of the hottest people I had ever met. Part Narcissus, part Dorian Gray, this dude primped, preened, and plucked more than I did. The first time I tagged along to his bimonthly manicure and eyebrow wax he peer pressured me into getting my eyebrows done despite my continued insistence that I am allergic to wax. I mean, I guess peer pressured isn’t the right phrase. I’m petty as hell and so willingly did it just to spite him. Post-wax, he complained every time we went out until the allergic reaction went down and I stopped “ruining his image”. Ladies, he’s still single!!!!

 

Dorian Gray

Image via TV Tropes

 

5. And last but not least, the Lord of the Rings character. On our first date, he brought three friends. Totally Frodo, right? Except how the date actually went was he told me we were getting food, and then instead we went clubbing from 7pm to 2am and at no point did we actually get food. Clearly, he’s Sauron.

 

Frodo and Sauron

Image via Votaries of Horror

Featured Image Via Tech Crunch, Bookstr, and my own ridiculous photoshopping.