Five gay classics by gay writers to celebrate the last week of pride month.
Was Oscar Wilde 200+ years ahead of his time? Probably. The man was so galaxy brain we don’t even need to make memes about him, everything he said is already practically a meme. You’ve gotta appreciate the sheer brilliant nonsense. Here’s some relatable content, all the way from the 1900s.
Image via Brainy Quote
Well, if they tempt you, what are you really supposed to do? Not give in? I don’t think so. We’re going to be out here, living our most decadent and ridiculous lives, just like he would have wanted. You’ve got to live your best life, and sometimes that means making whatever choices are offered.
2. That’s what friends are FOR
Image via Goalcast
I mean, if you’re going to be stabbed, at least you can do it like bros. It would be the polite thing to do. Murder doesn’t have to end a friendship. And who even said anything about murder? What are a few knife wounds between friends? It’s an allegory for betrayal anyway. Brotrayal?
3. But not too much
Image via Pinterest
‘Nuff said. Or is it? Damn you, Wilde.
4. Gotta go be cool somewhere
Image via Pinterest
Just living that cat life, writing decadent horror stories and being the icon of the century. Bored? Never. Just got things to do. What things? Who cares? If he’s doing it, he’s going to make it cool. He’s pulling off that haircut, for goodness’ sake.
5. We all know where the real party is
Image via Me.me
Not to be controversial, but — valid. I mean, Wilde’s life was not an easy one, so being denied something he never wanted anyway isn’t a big deal. It’s catchy and amusing, but Wilde is rejecting shame. Funny though. Honestly.
Image via BrainyQuote
Of course, we’ve all got legions of enemies (citation needed), so any advice a dead poet can give is going to change all of our lives for the better. Plus, this is a satisfying move. It’s low effort, and as well as getting your revenge, you get to be very smug while doing it.
7. One feel-good quote? I’M WEAK
Image via Books on the Wall
This is not as much a funny one, but it is one of my all-time favorites and always good when you’re having a moment, which is all the time for me. It’s the sort of pleasant, post-nihilistic sentiment we can always use, especially in strange times.
Featured image via The Irish Times.
If you’re anything like me, SparkNotes has always been there when you need it. Now, they’re not only helping you pass your classes, but also serving you the spiciest of literature memes. They’re all pure gold, but here are just a few.
Theseus or not, YOU. ARE. VALID.
Unfortunately there’s no third option, so if you want to set the Minotaur up on a blind date with your friend, you’re kind of out of luck. Otherwise, you’re good though. What color do your sails need to be if you didn’t slay the Minotaur but you’re seeing it this Friday?
Some people appreciate attitude
I mean, he’s already in love with her by that point, but you get the idea. He’s always talking about how mean she is, and then boom, marry me! Of course, the same could be said of her. What a stressful ship. Still though, you know, I’m on it.
Want to delay your problems forever?
Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it sure killed Dorian Gray. Still, he lived a while looking fresh and evil in stead of old and evil, so if you’ve got the attic space, why not? In this economy though? The thing’s going under the bed.
Do You haunt an old building? Then you need…
Sure, you might not be the most conventionally attractive, but your secret underground hideaway is second to none, and isn’t it what’s on the inside that matters? What’s under the surface? (What’s directly under the opera house?)
People can’t know we sit! And… murder!
Maybe not as relatable as the original video, but definitely a strong mood, and just as futile. The body stays right under the floorboards after all. If only there’d been seashells on the doorknobs, maybe things would have gone better.
Hindsight is… Ah man I botched it.
Don’t look back in anger (or at all). Going to the depths of hell is a nice gesture, and who doesn’t like musicians, but you’ve gotta stick the landing by actually fulfilling the deal. Just one opinion, but if both of you don’t come back alive, that’s a bad date.
All images via SparkNotes
...even if you’re reading this at any other time of the year when you just managed to scrape out a whole day (or two) to read, then it wouldn’t hurt to keep this list in mind…
Today is the anniversary of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. Published in 1891, the novel’s hedonistic bent and homosexual undertones (and overtones) have since made it both notorious and a much-loved classic. The novel follows the moral descent of Dorian Gray, a handsome young gentleman whose soul is forever trapped within a painting. As Gray’s depravity deepens, his face in the painting grows increasingly marred with sin… while his face remains forever young, beautiful, and innocent.
Booze & Bookstr is back at it for thirsty Thursday, and we all know Oscar Wilde was thirsty in more ways than one. That’s less an insult than a badge of honor—Wilde remains notorious for his love of both life and debauchery, two things that the writer would not deem separate. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, he writes, “the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” Tempted to grab some bottles and drink with us? Remember: drink responsibly and read voraciously!
Wilde notoriously touted both love and hate for the green fairy: “After the first glass of absinthe you see things as you wish they were. After the second you see them as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” So not only would he partake of the next few beverages, he’d probably drink more of them than you.
- 2 oz. high-proof bourbon, such as Baker’s
- 1 oz. fresh lemon juice
- 1⁄2 oz. simple syrup
- 1⁄4 oz. absinthe bitters or absinthe
- 1⁄2 oz. grenadine syrup made from pomegranate
- Lemon wheel, for garnish
Oscar Wilde enjoyed the finer things in life and always thought that they were worth paying for: “when I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know that it is.”
- 1 ounce absinthe
- 1/2 ounce vodka
- 1/2 ounce Sauvignon Blanc
- 1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice
- 1 ounce lemon-parsley infused simple syrup (see ingredients below)
- 3 drops aromatic bitters
- For garnishing: 1 lemon, a few sprigs of fresh mint leaves
Wilde had a rather pessimistic view of monogamy, shaking down the institution of marriage with his unrelenting wit: “men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” That would be enough to leave any lady jaded.
It’s not every day that someone’s love of champagne literally makes history, but here we are, 119 years after Wilde’s death, discussing how the infamous dandy instructed staff to serve champagne “at intervals” throughout the day. Apparently, Wilde’s love of the bubbly made its way onto the record during his trial:
Mr. Oscar Wilde: Yes; iced champagne is a favourite drink of mine–strongly against my doctor’s orders.
Mr. Edward Carson, QC: Never mind your doctor’s orders, sir!
Mr. Oscar Wilde: I never do.
Given that the doctor’s orders say that one serving of French fries is, like, twelve f*cking French fries, I think we’ll all have to ignore them.
3. French 75
• 2 oz. London dry gin
• 1 tsp. superfine sugar
• 1/2 oz. lemon juice
• 5 oz. brut champagne
Oscar Wilde wisely said, “when good Americans die, they go to Paris.” But when you try this cocktail, you’ll be LIVING.
4. Red Eye
- 1½ Mr. Black Cold Brew Coffee Liqueur
- 3 oz. Prosecco
- 4 dashes Scrappy’s chocolate bitters
- 2 dashes saltwater
- Garnish with a lemon peel
Why sleep when you could be out living? “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all,” Oscar Wilde said—especially people who are passing out at 9 P.M. You’ll definitely be living rather than existing when you’re wide awake for the most entertaining hours of the nighttime.
And the ultimate combo…
5. Death in the afternoon
- 1 1⁄2 oz absinthe
- 4 1⁄2 oz champagne
Oscar Wilde would smash and get smashed.
Featured Image Via Eventbrite.