Tag: the Grinch

Happy Grouch Day! Six of the Grouchiest People in Fiction!

According to Sesame Street Magazine, October 15th is National Grouch Day—a day for all Grouches to celebrate their way of life.

 

National Grouch Day

Image Via Facebook

 

Since Sesame Street Magazine taught me everything I know, we’re going to celebrate National Grouch Day the only way we here at Bookstr know how—by making lists.

 

 

6-Ebenezer Scrooge

 

Ebenezer Scrooge

Image Via The Imaginative Conservative

 

The quintessential grouch, Ebenezer Scrooge is a cheap old miser who brings misery wherever he goes.

 

The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice

 

That’s a nice way of saying he’s a grouch. A miserable, old, grouch. Literally A Christmas Carol is about him “warming his cold heart”, a poetic way of saying him becoming less a dick.

 

Bah Humbug

Image Via Your WDW Store

 

A less talented writer would make A Christmas Carol an anatomy lesson about Scrooge getting that stick out of his butt, but (pun intended) luckily Charles Dickens is a talented writer. He gives us a wonderful story, retold countless times, about this cold-hearted grouch warming up into a bright happy person during one of the coldest nights in winter.

 

5-The Grinch

 

The Grinch

 

What is it with stories about grouches becoming better people being set on Christmas? Is it because Christmas is so cold and authors can’t resist the irony of a grouch shedding their cold heart on one of the coldest days in the year?

Either way, the Grinch is a Grouch. In fact, he looks like Oscar the Grouch!

 

Grinch and Oscar

Image Via Elise Skidmore

 

And don’t blame his grouchiness on the face he has a medical condition—his heart is literally “too sizes too small”—and don’t give me that nonsense that the Whos were mean to him. That’s only in the Jim Carrey movie, and we’re talking about Dr. Seuss’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas here, so you can…

 

 

His hatred of a holiday stems from one fact and one fact only: he hates seeing other people happy. Talk about a grouch!

 

 

4-Argus Filch

 

Argus Filch

Image Via The Harry Potter Lexicon

 

For all you Harry Potter fans and all you Hermione fans and all you David Bradley fans.

 

Argus Filch-movie

Image Via PopSugar

 

When we first meet Filch, he’s quite an unpleasant person. He hates children, students in particular, and it’s quite a strange hatred seeing as he works in a school. I don’t know, maybe the pay is good.

Still, he barks “What are you doing?!” so much you’d think he’d have ground that gravelly voice of his into dust. Be wary, from the students who sneak out at night to the ones who forgot to wipe their feet! Actually, revise that, even if you’re not doing anything wrong, you should still avoid him.

Miserable all the time, he’s rather sadistic, taking this unnerving delight in dishing out punishment to the students of Hogwarts. Look, and re-read, how much he enjoyed punishing young Harry in the first book when Harry was only eleven!

The only thing he seems to love is his cat, Mrs. Norris, but everyone loves cats.

 

Image Via Odor Klenz

 

Granted, as we learn more about him, his grouchiness becomes more understandable. He’s harassed by Peeves, the Poltergeist, and he’s a squib, meaning he can’t perform magic. He also evacuated all the students in the Battle of Hogwarts and, despite being unable to perform magic, fought against the Death Eaters. So you know what? Maybe he’s not too bad…

 

Slick

Image Via Reddit

 

He’s actually pretty cool, but still a major grouch.

 

3-Walder Frey

 

For all you Game of Thrones fans and all you David Bradley fans, Walder Frey.

 

Argus Frey?

Image Via ImgFlip

 

Ignoring his part in the Red Wedding, Walder Frey is still a prick.

After farting his way after Ser Edmure Tully’s call to arms because he wants to arrive when the battle is done, Walder Frey is immediately a prick and it only gets worse from there. When Catelyn Stark meets with him, we find that he’s not a nice old man at all. Toothless and wrinkled, he sits in his chair and brags about how he is still sexually active. With 28 kids roaming around, you’d think he’d care about at least one of them.

 

Walder Frey

Image Via A Song of Ice and Fire Wiki

 

Not a chance. Even at the age of 91, Walder Frey is as self-serving as ever. Being the leader of his house, no one trusts him or his family. Thus, instead of making amends, Walder sees fit to complain about this and continue to deserve the contempt of noble houses throughout Westeros.

He’s a miserable person to be around. A real grouch.

And you know what? I’m not going to ignore the Red Wedding.

 

Walder Frey

Image Via Imgflip

 

This man orchestrated it because some dude snubbed his ugly daughter and he wanted to get ahead in life. Screw you, you miserable old fart.

 

 

2-Smaug

 

Smaug
Image Via Smithsonian Magazine

 

Smaug is small. He’s a tiny dragon, but that’s no excuse for being such a grouchy ball of flames.

 

Smaug

HE’S ALSO LAZY / Image Via The One Ring.Net

 

After destroying a kingdom just for the money, he then spends the next 150 years in a mountain. Mass murder for money he doesn’t plan to do anything with? Talk about a miser!

 

Bilbo

Image Via Pipedia

 

I think we can all agree that Bilbo is the happiest man in the world, at least in The Hobbit!

 

Smaug and Bilbo

Someone drew this! / Image Via PInterest

 

When Bilbo visits Smaugh, what does Smaug do? Well, he’s amused by him, but ultimately he just wants to be left alone. What a grouch.

And then he burns a town down because he wants to be alone. What a grouch. A mass-murdering grouch.

 

 

1-Captain Ahab

 

Captain Ahab
Image Via The Guardian

 

A megalomaniac fanatic, Captain Ahab is obsessed with capturing a whale because on a previous voyage the whale bit off his leg.

That’s it. Moby Dick, a book big enough to break someone’s jaw, is about how instead of calling it quits, instead of moving on, Captain Ahab wears a prosthetic leg made out of whalebone and intends to turn the whale who bit him into bones.

Get over it dude.

 

Everything you need to know about Captain Ahab
Image Via Shmoop

And it wouldn’t be so bad if Ahab was the least bit likable. But he isn’t. His only drive in his life to find and kill the Whale. He forces his crew to support his insane mission just so he can kill a whale.

Three hundred pages just looking for a whale while his crew suffers, and he doesn’t stop and think “Maybe I should be considerate to the crew who is risking their lives for my stupid obsession”. That thought doesn’t even pass through his head.

 

Captain Ahab endangers his crew yet again

GET OVER IT DUDE / Image Via Consortiumnews

 

Even when his ship is destroyed and he and what’s left on his crew is on the boat, he’s still chasing after a whale. GET OVER IT DUDE!

You weren’t even nice, Ahab, you were just a real grouch. You’re going to jump for joy when this grouch is dragged to the bottom of the sea by the very thing he’s been trying to kill.

DIE YOU GROUCHY GROUCHY MAN!

 

 

…HAPPY GROUCH DAY!

 

 

Image Via Muppet Wiki – Fandom

12 Steamy Literary Couples That Should Totally Happen

Once upon a time, we reported that Draco Malfoy himself, Tom Felton, had attended the opening at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando and joined AOL’s In The Know for a game of ‘Fact or Fanfiction?’ and, in the standout moment from the Q and A, Tom Felton was asked: What did he think of Draco’s relationship to Harry Potter?

 

Hmmm?

Image Via Redbubble

 

Now anyone with even a passing glance to the franchise would see Draco and Harry a simple rivalry, a tale for the ages, but Tom Felton said, I’m quoting AOL here, “Harry was constantly crushing on Draco…He just couldn’t hide it.”

Let’s look at the facts:

  1. Draco and Harry do definitely have some tension going on.
  2. (Image Below)

 

Draco vs Harry

Image Via Youtube

 

Case closed!

With this in mind we’ve decided to give you, dear readers, twelve literary couples that happened in an alternative universe. Taking twenty-four characters from all across literature, from different book series to classic standalone novels (copyright be damned!), we’ve compiled these characters into eleven distinct (and surely steamy) relationships that would have totally worked out…for the characters, at least. Trust us, we’re chemists here.

 

 

12-Bella and Count Dracula

 

Bella

Image Via Twilight Saga Wiki – Fandom

 

No more sparkling vampires, now Twilight‘s Bella Swan is getting an upgrade. Let’s face it: There’s a reason Bram Stoker called this novel Dracula and not Harker. Dracula’s got style, he’s got nice clothes, he’s not charm oozing from everyone pore.

 

Gary Oldman as Dracula Count

Image Via Pinterest

 

Heck, if Bella says “No, I’m married” then I’m asking Dracula out to get a nice love bite.

 

11-Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes

 

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes

Image Via Pinterest

 

Far before Twitter decided to give us the #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend fan campaign, we had the comic books. See Bucky died, Steve Rogers became a Commie smasher, and then the Commie smasher was retconned, and then the real Steve Rogers was thawed out from the ice.

 

Steve Rogers thoughts about Bucky Barnes

Image Via The Mary Sue

 

But Bucky remained dead, and Steve was inconsolable in his grief over his best friend and partner in crime throughout the decades of Captain America comics. In fact, it was one of the most foremost elements of his character

Fans looked at this and took the small hop and believed that Steve’s profound sense of loss than met the eye

The only people who stay dead in comics are Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben.

So Bucky came back. In fact, he came back as the Winter Soldier in a comic book called The Winter Soldier, and ever since then we’ve been clamoring for Steve and Bucky to get a little closer.

They’re perfect for each other. The two buddies have been with each other since the beginning and will continue to stay together “until the end of the line”. They’re both “men out of time” from 1930s Brooklyn and are war buddies with great rapport who totally get along. They have so much in common.

At least go on a date and see if there’s anything there.

 

Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky.

 

10-Ahab and Captain Hook

 

Jason Isaacs as Captain Hook

Image Via Express.co.uk

 

We have Peter Pan‘s Captain Hook, and this man has been through a lot. Yes, he’s trying to track down and kill Peter Pan like he’s an animal, but Peter Pan is an animal! This boy cut off his hand and fed it to a crocodile. Wicked, evil, and savage beyond belief.

 

Captain Ahab

Gregory ‘The Man with the Pecks’ Peck as Captain Ahab / Image Via The Guardian

 

Then we have Moby Dick‘s Captain Ahab who, like James Hook, wants to track down an animal whose savaged ships of all sorts.

But would they be searching for these monsters if they had, you know, found each other? Could their killer eyes turn into ones of passion and love if they only looked into each other’s eyes?

We here at Bookstr call out in a resounding, ‘YES!’

 

9-Boo Radley and Miss Havisham

 

Miss Havisham

Image Via Telegraph

 

Charles Dickens’ gave us Great Expectations, which us the tragic story of Miss. Havisham. Left at the altar as a young lady, she has preserved her house as it was on her wedding day and lived there ever since, shut away from the world. She has a heart of gold, but no one has treated it well.

 

Boo Radley

Look at those sultry eyes/Image Via Pinterest

 

Harper Lee gave us To Kill A Mocking Bird, which introduced the world to Boo Radley. Our Boo has lived in a house since he was a child, hidden from the world, but he has a heart of gold, giving young Scout a jacket on a cold autumn day.

If these two shut-ins have closed their doors to the world, would they open their doors for each other? Boo Radley most certainly wouldn’t leave Miss. Havisham at the altar, and Miss. Havisham wouldn’t let our precious Boo feel unwelcomed.

 

8-White Witch and Sauron

 

C S Lewis and J R R Tolkien

Image Via CNN

 

Now this pairing might not be great for the world at large, but they would be great for each other. Both live in fantasy world, the authors who created them were in real life great friends, and both crave ultimately power.

While both skilled in the powers of magic, it wouldn’t take magic to get these two working side by side.

 

White Witch

Image Via Denver Post

 

Imagine it: the White Witch would kill all the lions and the hero in the land, freezing them in ice just in time…

 

Sauron

Lord of the Rings Wiki – Fandom

 

…for Sauron to get to swinging his mace around

Talk about a power couple. The White Witch might even slip the One Ring of Power on Sauron’s little finger….

 

 

7-Pinocchio and Voldemort

 

Pinocchio

Image Via Entertainment.ie

 

Carlo Collodi’s Pinocchio grows every time he lies, and he’s made of wood, so lie a few times and cut off the excess, and Voldemort doesn’t have to be called He-Who-Must-Not-Have-A-Nose.

 

Voldemort

Image Via Harry Potter Wiki – Fandom

 

Yes, Voldemort is a racist and a tyrant who thirsts for power more than a camel thirsts for water, but Pinocchio isn’t the pinnacle of innocence. After all, there’s a reason he’s cursed to have his nose grows every time he lies.

Plus, if he and Voldemort got together, Pinocchio can use his nose for…

 

6-Ariel and Jaws

 

The Little Mermaid

Image Via The South African

 

Prince Eric isn’t a good fit for Hans Christie Andersen’s The Little Mermaid. He has legs, Ariel is half-fish, and if she gets together with him then she has to abandon her family. That’s a bad move, Ariel.

 

Jaws

Aw, he’s holding him / Image Via Pinterest

 

But if she wants to take a walk on the wild side and still remain in the ocean, she can always go with the shark from Peter Benchley’s Jaws. Call him what you will (I call him Bruce, but others have called him Jaws or Sharkie or even Craig), but he knows his way around the wide ocean and can show Ariel a whole new world under the sea.

Ah, they always say there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but at least these two fish found each other. Maybe that’ll be the new plot for the new Disney remake!

 

5-Mrs Robinson and Oedipus

 

Mrs. Robinson

Image Via CharacTour

 

Mrs. Robinson from Charles Webb’s 1963 novella The Graduate is trapped in a loveless marriage. She’s only married to her husband because she got pregnant and needed to avoid a scandal, and thus she hooks up with young Benjamin Braddock. But Benjamin is only into her because he’s bored. He doesn’t love her.

 

Image Via Study.com

 

Oedipus from the seminal play Oedipus Rex has a thing for older women. Yes, he didn’t know he was married to his mom, but she was still older than him. So maybe we can avoid the whole I-gotta-pluck-out-my-eyes thing and just have Oedipus meet up and see where things go with Mrs. Robinson. She’s old enough to be his mom, and that should be enough for dear old Ed.

 

4-Paul Bunyun and Jack Torrence

 

Paul Bunyan

Image Via NEA

 

Straight from American folklore is the biggest and the best lumberjack in the business: Paul Bunyan.

 

Jack Torrance

Handsome! / Image Via Salon

 

Straight from the mind of Stephen King is Jack Torrence. Now Mr. King was quite unhappy with the changes Stanley Kubrick made in his film adaptation, so we’ll have a chance to mend things here.

In the book Jack Torrence has a roque mallet, so maybe Paul can give him his iconic ax. Plus, since Paul’s ax might be a bit big for Jack, he can buy one here and, once Jack has his iconic ax, well…

 

Beautiful friendship

Image Via Giphy

Or maybe something more…

 

 

3-Katniss and The Chershire Cat

 

The Cheshire Cat

Image Via DeviantArt

 

This goes beyond the fact that ‘Katniss’ kind of, sort of, sounds like ‘cat’ and the Cheshire Cat is, well, a cat.

 

Katniss Everdeen

Image Via Scoopnest

 

For one, Katniss from Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games never really loved Peta. Two, Cheshire Cat from Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland knows his way around the block and would have helped her big time before, during, and after those pesky Hunger Games.

Plus, the Cheshire Cat is funny, and you know what they say….

 

what do you see in that guy?

Image Via Pinterest

 

 

2-Christine and Pennywise

 

Chirstine

Image Via Amreading

 

An evil car

 

Pennywise

Image Via OC Celebrity Marketing

 

..and an evil clown, what could be better? We already know Pennywise has a thing for cars…

 

Image Via Collider

 

So maybe it’s time for Christine to rev Pennywise’s engine.

 

1-The Grinch and Cat in the Hat

 

These two iconic characters from the Dr. Seuss universe are meant for each other.

 

The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat

Image Via Amazon

 

Their first meet up might not have gone well….

 

 

A Match Made in Heaven

Image Via DeviantArt

 

…but we all know it’s a much made in heaven.

 

 

 

Featured Image Via 9Gag

cover of Dr Seuss's Horse Museum

3 Books We Can’t Wait for This Year

It’s impossible to read all the books ever written, but lucky we don’t need to. We just have to read these books coming our way!

And the books we already own but haven’t read…but book problems, am I right?

 

Image result for book news

Image Via Pencil Pocket

 

3: Horse Museum by Dr. Seuss

 

Image Via Publishersweekly

A new Dr. Seuss book is going to hit shelves on September 3, 2019, marking the second time a Dr. Seuss book has been published posthumously since 2015’s What Pet Should I Get? 

The manuscript and sketches for book appear to have been discovered in the late author’s La Jolla home around the same time What Pet Should I Get? was discovered, but now illustrator Andrew Joyner is set to complete the author’s unfinished sketches.

statement by Random House reveals that the story will take younger riders on a journey with a friendly horse touring an art museum with illustrations “combined throughout with full-color photographic reproductions of famous horse artwork by Pablo Picasso, George Stubbs, Rosa Bonheur, Alexander Calder, Jacob Lawrence, Deborah Butterfield, Franz Marc, Jackson Pollock…” and will features “[c]ameo appearances by classic Dr. Seuss characters (among them the Cat in the Hat, the Grinch, and Horton the Elephant)…”

With a first printing of 250,000 copies, this fall many readers, both young and old, will return to a Dr. Seuss’s world as it grows just a little bit larger.

 

2. Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud and the Last Trial of Harper Lee by Casey Cep

 

Image result for Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee by Casey Cep

Image Via Penguin Random House

In the vein of In Cold Blood, Casey Cep’s Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee is about what Goodreads describes as “[t]he stunning story of an Alabama serial killer and the true-crime book that Harper Lee worked on obsessively in the years after To Kill a Mockingbird“.

It is known that Harper Lee never wrote another book after To Kill A Mocking Bird. Go Set a Watchmen was confirmed to be the first draft of her literary classic, so this book has the potential to both dispel myths and paint a clear view on Harper Lee’s life post-publishing this May 7th, 2019.

Ironically, the novel is going to shed light on Harper Lee’s trying to write her next great American novel – a Gothic crime drama – but never succeeding.

 

  1. Cari Mora by Thomas Harris

 

Image result for cari mora thomas harris
Image Via Goodreads

With his last book published in December of 2006, Thomas Harris has been quiet on us. Now he returns on May 16th with Cari Mora. His second novel not featuring his infamous Dr. Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter (his first novel, Black Sunday, didn’t feature the character when it debuted in 1975), Cari Mora is described by Tampa Bay as being about “Cari Mora, caretaker of the house, has escaped from the violence in her native country. She stays in Miami on a wobbly Temporary Protected Status, subject to the iron whim of ICE. She works at many jobs to survive. Beautiful, marked by war, Cari catches the eye of Hans-Peter as he closes in on the treasure. But Cari Mora has surprising skills, and her will to survive has been tested before.”

With its titular female character and themes of immigration, we can’t wait to read the sixth novel from the man whose kept us up late at night since the mid-seventies.

 

 

Featured Image Via Pencil Pocket