Tag: The Chronicles of Narnia

11 of Literature’s Worst Monsters

You read the title, now let’s get going!

But first, let’s set up one rule: all of the monsters on this list have to be fictional. No non-fiction real people. No, “I read a book on Manson and he was evil so why is he not on this list?” No. All these people are fiction, figments of an author’s imagination.

With that said, let’s start off with:

 

 

11-Carmelita Spats

Carmelita Spats (TAA)

Image Via Lemony Snicket Wiki – Fandom

 

I have nothing against children (that’s a lie), but she’s just plain EVIL! From the first pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy, you know this girl is trouble, and she is. Duncan and Isadora, two orphans already at the academy, are forced to live in a shack due to not having parents or guardians to sign the permission slip for the dorms. Carmelita begins referring to their shack as the Orphans Shack.

And that’s before our trio, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, make their way into the story.

When she and Violet have the same class, Carmelita takes it upon herself to poke Violet with a stick and whisper “orphan” every few minutes. Plus, she takes it upon herself to remind the orphans that, well, they’re orphans. Even worst, she calls them “cakesniffers!”, a confusing but still ultimately insulting jab at their…lack of cake?

 

Cakesniffer!
Image Via Pinterest

 

Come The Slippery Slope, Carmelita  meets Olaf and Esmé Squalor face to face. Without a second thought, she abandons her parents and becomes their child.

Think about it. Her parents sent her to Prufrock Preporatory, a boarding school. I know rich people send most of their kids away for boarding school, but this just stinks that her parents don’t even like Carmelita, and honestly, who could blame them?

When Olaf and Esmé have our trio in their grasp they discuss which Baudelaire to leave alive for the fortune, and Carmelita suggests keeping Violet so they can tie her hair to things.

In the Grim Grotto, Olaf shows his human side with his annoyance at this little monster. Who can blame him? Every moment she’s on the page she just shows off how bratty she is.

 

You’re a cakesniffer and she eats cake! / Image Via Lemony Snicket Wiki – Fandom

 

Come The Penultimate Peril we’re on Olaf’s side when he abandons her and Esmé, since Esmé refuses to discipline the girl and Carmelita needs to be taken out back and shot Old Yeller-style.

What does Carmelita do next? She submits a book about how wonder she is to be used as evidence in a potential trial against Count Olaf and the Baudelaires.

Disloyal, wicked, and evil, Carmelita is a true monster. Don’t beleive me yet? Here’s the song she sings over and over again in The Grim Grotto:

C is for ‘cute’

A is for ‘adorable’!

R is for ‘ravishing’!

M is for ‘gorgeous’!

E is for ‘excellent’!

L is for ‘lovable’!

I is for ‘I’m the best’!

T is for ‘talented’!

and A is for ‘a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian’!

Now let’s sing my whole wonderful song all over again!

 

10-The White Witch

The White Witch
Image Via Wikipedia

 

The main antagonist of The Magician’s Nephew and of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Jadis is cold hearted demon. Not only did she murder God (Aslan), she enslaved Narnia to a thousand year winter. That wouldn’t be so bad, trees do annoy me, but she made it so it’s never Christmas but always winter.

Meanie!

To make it worse, she persuaded Edmund to turn against his friends with Turkish delight.

I have the right mind to call Jadis Judas.

 

9-Tywin

Tywin Lannister

IMage Via A Wiki of Ice and Fire – Westeros.org

 

This is hard, considering a lot of the characters in A Song of Ice and Fire are terrible people, but I say Tywin takes the cake. Yes, Joffrey is a psychopath, but Tywin is worse. Here’s why:

He emotionally abuses Tyrion

He uses Cersei as a brood mare

He sends The Mountain off and “didn’t know” that the Mountain would rape/kill Elia Martell and bash her two baby children against the wall.

Worst of all, Tywin is a perfectly rational person. This isn’t an issue of “bad genes” or anything like that. He was disrespected as a child, and thus he intends to never be disrespected again. Now that he’s an adult with the power he always dreamed of, he hasn’t stopped. He’s not bloodthirsty, he’s apathetic. Family is everything, and he won’t stop until he holds all the power over Westeros, no matter what the cost.

 

8-Dracula

Christopher Lee as Dracula
Image Via Birth.Movies.Death

 

I know he’s a vampire and that might be a good excuse for biting people, but going strictly off the Bram Stoker’s Dracula, The Count is kind of a monster. Yes, he has to suck blood, but I’m not going to hold that against him. At his core he’s a predator. There’s no right or wrong that comes into play here because when you need to eat, you need to eat.

So he is even on this list? Well, let’s look at what he does…

He imprisoned Jonathan Harker.

He impersonated Harker so he could commit heinous crimes in his name, despite the fact he can transform and quickly get away, not impersonation required

He slaughtered an entire ship full of men.

He preyed on Mina just to hurt Jonathan and her family

Dracula doesn’t just feed because he needs to feed, he revels in his predator status just to terrify his prey because he finds it amusing. He’s like a shark that tells you, “I’m going to eat you whole and you’re going to want to scream but you’ll be suffocating as you slide down my throat”.

Dracula takes it a one step, and a couple more, from what his nature requires.

 

 

7-Morgoth

Morgoth
IMAGE Via ArtStation

 

Morgoth, Melkor, he’s known by several different names, but either way he’s a monster. We learn that in The Silmarillion that, after falling from glory, Morgoth corrupted all those in his wake. You think Sauron is bad? Sauron works for this monster.

It was only when Morgoth, after declaring war against the Elves and Men and slaughtering much of them during the First Age, that he was bound in chains and thrown into the void, leaving Sauron to trouble the world, as we see in The Hobbit and the Lords of the Ring trilogy.

 

Morgoth
Image Via Men of the West, Youtube

 

Worst of all, according to a prophecy, Morgoth will rise again.

Morgoth, Melkor, whatever you want to call him, he’s the OG monster in Tolkien’s leafy universe.

 

6-Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman

Image Via McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

 

In a world where everyone doesn’t listen to each other and people are routinely mistaken for others, Patrick Bateman fades into the background, and he loves that fact. But, subconsciously or otherwise, he leads a double life as a murderer.

Wealthy, materialistic, this Wall Street investment banker does less time working and more time going to parties. Plus, he tortures women and poor people and gays and children. Or maybe he doesn’t, it’s left very vague whether all his killings are actually happening.

As he loses his grip on reality, there’s one pivotal scene in the novel, but not in the Christian Bale film adaptation, where Patrick Bateman gives his girlfriend a cake. Aww!

 

 

She eats it, calling it minty. Twist! Since he doesn’t like his girlfriend very much, he given her a chocolate covered urinal cake.

 

Image result for urinal cake
Image Via Metro

 

Real or imaginary, that’s…uh…ewwwww

 

5-Annie Wilkes

Annie Wilkes

Image Via Bungalower

 

Annie Wilkes is the scariest character Stephen King ever created. Obsessive, psychotic, and worst of all…human.

She only appeared in Misery, and she certainly made an impression. The embodiment of every obsessive fan out there, Annie finds popular writer Paul Sheldon after a car crash. So she kidnaps him, ties him to a bed, and refuses to let him go until he writes a book. Paul is forced to indulge her every whim lest there be tragedy consequences.

When he tires to escape, he chops off his foot with an ax and cauterizing his ankle with a blowtorch. When his typewriter breaks down, she cuts off his thumb with an electric knife. When a state trooper comes to her house, she runs him over with her riding law mower.

 

 

4-Christian Grey

Christian Grey

Image Via Inverse

 

The titular character of Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian is abusive, emotionally unstable, and an all around prick who the author doesn’t think is problematic any way.

For one, he claims he’s in BDSM but in reality he just likes hurting women who have brown hair. Like his mom “the crack whore”. When Ana tells him she’s a virgin, he stomps around the room before deciding that he has to ‘take care of it’.

Yes, he was abused by an older woman, but he refuses to say she did anything wrong. Not only does he refuse to say she did anything wrong, but you better not tell him he’s wrong or else…

He also gives Ana whine while she’s signing a contract.

 

3-Victor Frankenstein

Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Wikipedia

 

Not the monster, the doctor who created him. This scientist is the true monster of the story.

After creating life itself, Victor looks upon his creation and sees something that is clearly not human. He sees something breathing, thinking, alive, but less than perfect, and so he rejects it, shuns it from the world.

 

The creation, Adam, confronts Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Owlcation

 

The creature seeks revenge against him, but are we to blame the creature? Forced away from the one who gave it life into an unforgiving world, the creature could not thrive, only survive. His vengeance is not just wrath, it’s justice for the mistakes Victor has created.

While he regrets creating the creature, Victor does not look upon the creature with understanding. Instead he calls the creature ‘fiend’ or ‘demon’ and pursues him to the Arctic, intend to kill it. He falls through the ice and dies, warning other not to meddle with life, but failing to teach them the lesson of empathy.

 

Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Twitter

 

Cold blooded, Victor Frankenstein is the monster, the only monster, in Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.

 

2-Humbert Humbert

Humbert Humbert
Image Via Rhiannon Hart

 

Humbert Humbert uses language to seduce the readers, and he almost succeeds. But lest we forget: he’s a pedophile, obsessed over a girl he calls Lolita. That’s why the book is called Lolita.

For the record, her real name is Dolores.

Back to Humbert. He marries a woman to get closer to his daughter and, once the woman dies, he kidnaps her.

The worst of it is that Humbert Humber makes himself a sympathetic pedophile. He criticizes the vulgarity of American culture, establishing himself as an intellectual, and considers his sexuality to be a sign of his culture.

A monster, if I ever saw one, but nothing compared to our number one pick…

 

 

1-The Judge

Image Via AMazon

 

“The Judge” appears Blood Meridian very early on. We’re following the kid who goes to a revival meeting when a man bursts into the tent and tells the crowd that the preacher up on stage isn’t a real preacher, but a man wanted in three states.

The man who burst into the tent is “The Judge” and you might not know it, but he’s one you have to watch out for.

But compared to the illiterate drunken rapists surrounded you, the Judge is a breath of fresh air. Just look at that first scene! He showed everyone who that ‘preacher’ truly was. He has morals.

If you think about it, that means you’ve put your trust into this monster.

 

The Judge
Image Via PInterest

 

You see, when the Judge burst into that tent he saw the kid. He didn’t just look at him, he saw into his soul. That’s good. Cormac McCarthy never says who the Judge exactly is, if he has gone mad, but if they told me he wasn’t human, if they told me he was the personification of evil, I’d believe it.

 

The Judge

Image Via Texas Hill Country

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Youtube Channel Men of the West, Texas Hill Country, and Wikipedia

‘The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe’ Was Published Today!

On this day, a famous fantasy novel was published: The Chronicles of Naria: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the best known of the Chronicles of Narnia novels. The book was first published on October 16th in 1950 and has remained a classic, not to mention a mainstay, of children’s literature ever since.

 

 

The book centers on the fictional world of Narnia, a land of magic and talking animals. Narnia, at the book’s beginning, is ruled by the evil White Witch, who has plunged Narnia into an eternal winter. Four children from the real world (Lucy, Peter, Susan, and Edmund) walk through a magical wardrobe and end up in the land, caught between the Witch’s forces of evil and the forces of good, who side with the god-like lion Aslan.

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

The novel was written by C.S. Lewis and dedicated to his granddaughter Lucy. The series contained many themes of Christianity, with Aslan and the Witch representing Jesus and the Devil respectively. This theme is most prominently seen in the book where Aslan is killed but rises after three days and slays the Witch in a final battle, restoring peace to the land. C.S. Lewis himself described the genesis of the story beginning with an image of a fawn with an umbrella.

 

The Lion all began with a picture of a Faun carrying an umbrella and parcels in a snowy wood. This picture had been in my mind since I was about sixteen. Then one day, when I was about forty, I said to myself: ‘Let’s try to make a story about it.’

 

He had bounced the idea around for several years during the forties, which inspirations taken from World War II, where English children were evacuated from London and other cities to the countryside. However, worked stalled for sometime until C.S. Lewis created the character of Aslan and from then on, inspiration struck. He described he often dreamed of lions and made great progress on the novel, completed in March 1949.

 

Image via Goodreads

 

Lewis very much enjoyed writing the novel and wrote the sequel soon after, such was his enthusiasm. There wasn’t much enthusiasm from his fanbase, however, with the fantasy and fairy tale elements seen as self-indulgent. Nonetheless, the critical response from his fanbase, young readers, was highly positive and the strong sales of the book allowed Lewis to write further Narnia tales.

What are your memories of this book? Full of fantasy, magic, wonder, not to mention allegorical elements, this series helped define fantasy for a generation. Crack it open and give it another read!

 

 

Featured Image Via Wikipedia

5 Frosty Narnia Memes

The Chronicles of Narnia is a foundational fantasy work, and it’s also got some very funny moments. Moments that should be memes. From putting a lamppost in the story for spite to not even bothering to hide the religious allegory, Lewis wasn’t afraid of anything, and it shows. He goes all in, and I respect the hell out of it.

 

At All Times

 

Image result for chronicles of narnia memes
Gif via Gfycat

 

If this was a list of things I’ve gotten together, there wouldn’t even be a heading. What’s working? Nothing. Obviously. I’m a disaster at the best of times, but add midterms and/or having to save the world? Please. Lucy’s face says everything. Really the ultimate mood. At least I haven’t spent any time in a freezing river recently. Small mercies.

 

 

Aslan Gets It

 

Image via Pikdo

 

Look, it’s hard to be on the cutting edge of memes. I mean, in my opinion, memes change like fine wine, but there’s nothing wrong with a fresh, spicy meme. And if you’re wondering if I’ve seen a new meme yet—I have. In the iconic words of my kid sister, it’s all memes in here (my brain). I’ve seen it all. If there was a meme museum, I’d be a docent.

 

 

There Isn’t

 

Image via PicDove

 

It’s one of those things that sounds reasonable and then you’re like… why would I need to do that. Like, maybe open a window? Of course if you’ve got the vapors, going outside might be better, but not if you have hay fever. I love Susan’s practicality. She’s like, you know what improves every situation? Fresh air. I’m surprised she didn’t put on a kettle.

 

 

Nerds? Book Nerds?

Image via PublicInsta

 

It’s the constant struggle. You see someone reading and enjoying a book you love, do you interrupt them? I get almost as excited as I do when I see any dogs. I want. To be friends. Like, let’s talk about books. Let’s talk about everything. It’s an objectively bad energy, and you can’t come in with that on the subway. You can’t have any energy on the subway. It’s rough.

 

 

I’ve Gotta Check Every Time

 

Image via Amino Apps

 

Look. I don’t think I’ve ever had an actual wardrobe in my life. But I do press on the back of drawers and closet walls. I know they’re made of incredibly normal wood, but I have to hope, you know? Like, I always check my mail for a Hogwarts letter, even though everything else in there is going to be bad. Life may be ordinary, but there’s no reason to lose hope.

 

 

Featured image via Hotsta 

‘The Lord of the Rings’ TV Series Casts Will Poulter As Lead!

 

Exciting news for fans of The Lord of the RingsAccording to Deadline young British actor Will Poulter, star of franchises such as The Maze Runner, The Chronicles of Narnia, We’re the Millers, and Black Mirror, is poised to take the lead role of Amazon’s upcoming series based on the bestselling, ever popular fantasy novels. The series has no announced plot yet, but is known to take place in Lord of the Ring’s Second Age, after Sauron’s initial defeat in the First Age but before his return that kickstarts the main plot in the books proper in the Third Age.

 

Image via the Guardian

 

The series hails from writers JD Payne and Patrick McKay and director Juan Antonio (J.A.) Bayona. Amazon is reportedly putting out all the stops for the show, intent on making it a massive, big budget adaptation of the source material. Although Amazon has not confirmed who Poulter is playing yet, it is widely believed by several sources that he will play the show’s leading man.

 

Markella Kavenagh

Image Via IMDB

 

This means he’ll be acting alongside Markella Kavenagh. Kavenagh previously portrayed Cindi in Romper Stomper and Myrtle in Picnic at Hanging Book.

Although again not confirmed, it is believed that Poulter and Kavenagh will play the two leads: Beldor and Tyra

The show will be produced and collaborated with HarperCollins, the Tolkien Estate, and New Line Cinema to bring the rich world of Middle-earth to life once again. Are you excited to revisit Middle-earth? Are you also excited to see Will Poulter in the (potential) leading role? Tell us in the comments!

 

 

 

Featured Image Via The Guardian

Our Favorite Tolkien & Lewis Apocrypha

Tolkien and Lewis were both in residence at Oxford for many years, studying and teaching both. They were also close friends, even though they disagreed on almost everything. Sure, they had a shared interest in language, and in what we now call fantasy, but they disagreed on religion, and on the tones of their books. There are also a lot of stories about their friendship, few confirmed, but all amazing. Here are our favorites!

 

1. The Lamppost

 

Image via Dissolve

 

There’s a story that says Lewis specifically put the lamppost in Narnia because Tolkien said a good fantasy story would never have one. The sheer pettiness. What an icon. No fantasy story would have a lamppost? Well this one does! Please, TELL Lewis what his story can have. There’s no slowing him down. A lesson in spite we should really all take to heart.

 

 

2. Religion

 

Image via IOL

 

Tolkien was, as well as being a linguist and historian, quite Catholic, and Lewis found his philosophical suggestions appealing, becoming religious himself. Tolkien didn’t get what he wanted, though, because though Lewis became more religious, he was Protestant, and Tolkien didn’t at all appreciate how much religion was in Lewis’ books. Kinda played himself.

 

3. The Draft

 

Image via The Creative Penn

 

Apparently when Lewis first read his draft of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe to Tolkien and a croup of friends, Tolkien hated it. He thought it was terrible and combined too many mythologies. He wanted more consistent world building, and I don’t have a good source for this, but I’ve heard he even told Lewis to stop writing.

 

 

 

Featured image via J A Carlisle