For a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, we’re sure surrounded by a lot of Star Wars in this universe. Books, comics, encyclopedias, we got everything. Thus, we decided to take a look at the most iconic scene in Star Wars and give our own special spin on it!
Featured Image via Amazon
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Luanne G. Smith gives us her debut novel, The Vine Witch, and it’s, shall we say, fantastical.
Image Via Amazon
For centuries, the witches of Château Renard have helped the townsfolk create their world-renowned wine, but when sorcière Elena Boureanu is blindsided by a curse, the well runs dry.
After breaking the spell, Elena struggles to return to her former life, but that proves next to impossible as the vineyard she was destined to inherit is now in the possession of a stranger.
This name is Jean-Paul Martel, a man who favors science over superstition. He doesn’t believe in no witches and won’t accept help from any either. But Elena knows a hex when she sees one, and to help the vines recover she’ll have to hide her identity to destroy the evil powers that threaten to wipe out her, Jean-Paul, and the legacy of the Chanceaux Valley.
Taking advantage of the paradoxical nature of France, this fantastical tale weaves betrayal and vengeance with beauty and self-discovery to create something to marvel. Plus, the discussion of science and magic makes this October 1st release a sciencey-fantasy, a term I totally didn’t just make up.
How could we not put this on the list? With The Rise of Skywalker just around the corner, we’re here to tell you about the perfect holiday gift for all you Star-Wars-fanatics out there.
Image Via Amazon
Brought to us by famed New York Times best-selling paper engineer Matthew Reinhart and illustrator Kevin Wilson, this pop-up books explodes in front of your eyes, showcasing the very best scene from the entire Star Wars saga. All eleven movies are here in three-dimensional glory, including a sneak peek at The Rise of Skywalker.
A fitting tribute, this October 22nd release will make the perfect early gift. Get on your friend’s/significant other’s/family member’s good side while you can!
A sequel to Salvation, the second book in Hamilton’s sprawling Salvation Sequence brings us to the 23rd Century. Food is 3D printed, money backed by generated kilowatt hours, and aliens are sharing biotech with us. But these aliens, the Olyxix, are religious fanatics who want to bring humanity’s souls to their god—literally.
Humanity isn’t going without a fight.
With weird technology, an ensemble cast, and intricate politics, this is a sequel for the ages. Want to go to space? Good thing this book came out October 29th, you can up this little rocket ship at your local bookstore.
Her stories have appeared in a Shimmer, Flash Fiction Online, and Lightspeed, and now I’m proud to say that Linda Rather is bringing us something wonderful, something amazing, something godly…
Image Via Amazon
NUNS IN SPACE!
The sisters of the Order of Saint Rita travel on their ship, Our Lady of Impossible Constellations, offering spiritual guidance and assistance to all they come across. The Universe needs it, seeing as the Earth Central Governance (ECG) ceased contact with the human colonies in space following the Great War.
Led by Sister Faustina, who took her vows despite a lack of faith and who is still haunted by her experiences during the Great War, the ship responds to a distress signal, and what they find is truly distressing, for all humanity in fact.
Fantastical sci-fi at its finest. The book came out October 29th, so what are you waiting for? NUNS IN SPACE!
Martin L. Shoemaker’s novella Murder on the Aldrin Express was reprinted in The Year’s Best Science Fiction: Thirty-First Annual Collection and in The Year’s Top Short SF Novels 4, and he’s received the Washington Science Fiction Association’s Small Press Award for his Clarkesworld story “Today I Am Paul,” which continues in Today I Am Carey, published in March 2019.
So he knows his stuff when it comes to sci-fi.
Image Via Amazon
And now we have Inspector General Park Yerim taking on a case that seems cut and dry, but the mystery proves more complex as it goes on.
Let’s start the beginning: Captain Nicolau Aames, Commander of the Earth-Mars vessel Aldrin, is accused by the vast System of disobeying orders. He disobeyed them and is now accused of mutiny, a capital offense.
But his crew swears on their lives that he’s in the right.
Corruption, conflicting loyalties, and clashing accounts make it nearly impossible to see the truth in fifty million miles of darkness. As she goes on, and her findings prove to have astronomical implications, Park faces danger from the dark.
This November 1st, will you be able to find the truth shining out in the dark?
In recent years, the Oxford English Dictionary has been the center of of linguistic controversy, due to their unconventional additions to the compendium. For example, in 2015 the OED announced that the recipient of their coveted ‘Word of The Year’ title was the ‘Face With Tears of Joy’ emoji.
Image via CNN
Oxford stated that the emoji was chosen, because it was the ‘word’ that “best reflected the ethos, mood, and preoccupations of 2015,” though it wasn’t met without opposition.
Some of the words added only have definitions relating to their StarWars context, like the word ‘lightsabre.’ The formal definition now attributed to lightsabre is “in the fictional universe of the Star Wars films: a weapon resembling a sword, but having a destructive beam of light in place of a blade.”
The term Padawan is now defined as “an apprentice Jedi,” and Jedi is defined as “a member of an order of heroic, skilled warrior monks who are able to harness the mystical power of the Force.”
The word ‘force’ itself has also been updated. While the known definitions remain, the term now has another definition, one that reads “a mystical universal energy field.”
Alongside this Star Wars lingo, several sexual terms have been added as well, so use caution if you plan to browse OED’s list of new terms while at work. But, do feel free to call the interns in your office Padawans in all your emails. No one can stop you now!
Star Wars may have started well before memes became our primary means of communication, but that hasn’t led to it’s neglect. Besides, with the prequels providing basically endless fuel, and some new screenshots from the sequels, we’ve got fertile ground for a rich meme harvest.
Please Never Describe Me
Image via Dorkly
Besides being spectacularly shady, this is relatable. Not because my father was flammable, in so far as I know, but because we all know at least one person who can’t describe people to save their lives. Ironically, my dad is this way. He once described someone to me who he expected me to locate by saying that they had dark hair and maybe a tattoo. Maybe a tattoo? Anyone might have a tattoo. And what’s Luke supposed to do, put out a classified craigslist add looking for anyone flamable? Alright, I know it’s not canon, but it really should be.
It’s True And You Should Say It
Featured Image via Tumblr
He committed war crimes! He was a really bad person! Just wanting to peace out and live in the swamp is an incredibly understandable impulse, and I don’t think anyone questioned Yoda’s choices, but the prequels just HAD to explain, didn’t they? Plus, puppet Yoda was good. He was weird, sure, and I wouldn’t want him sitting on MY shoulders, but he was clearly a friend. CGI is an abomination. He looks like he’s going to glitch out of the screen and clip through my body, killing me instantly. Then he’ll probably do something weird like harvest my fingernails. No thanks.
Image via Quickmeme
Alright, alright, before you @me, I don’t actually think Jar Jar Binks is a sith lord. The guy couldn’t do even one thing. Who would recruit him? But when I bring up the theory, people get so mad! Sure, the prequels are awful (still don’t @me! It’s objective fact! I hate sand!), but the meta is outrageous. That’s why most of these memes are from the prequels. There’s really just an infinite number of things to unpack. The Darth Binks theory is great because it doesn’t make the prequels any better. They’re still ridiculous, convoluted, and poorly written (for starters). Nothing changes. Just… Jar Jar’s a sith. It makes you think.
The Chosen One
Image via Star Wars 7
God I love Luke, but he was just the densest, most useless chosen one on his planet or any other. Right at his face! You think you’d have these problems with Leia? I’m still mad my girl didn’t ever get to use her powers for violence, though the space walk was obviously amazing. Whose idea was this? They’re like, look, we have two Skywalkers, either could fulfill the prophecy. One is a polished diplomat spy with the guts to lie to Darth Vader’s face and the courage to keep going after her planet explodes. The other is the slowest, most confused farm boy you’ve ever seen. The choice is easy!
Since Someone Found Everything Else
Image via Killing Time
Seriously, they should be able to just slap it back on there. And when’s Rey going to lose a hand? At this point it’s just a rite of passage. I stan Rey hard, but if she doesn’t lose a hand, is she really even a Star Wars lead? Then again, maybe it’s just a Skywalker thing. Either way, can we talk about how everything that got lost in the first three movies is just around now? How did Maz get Luke’s lightsaber? How did Kylo get Vader’s helmet? Don’t ask questions! I mean, the Star Wars movies have always had so many plot holes, but these are weirdly back to back. She might as well have his hand too.
The Man is Swish
Image via Memedroid
Look, I like prequel Obi Wan. We all like prequel Obi Wan. I’m just saying that prequel Obi Wan and original Obi-wan are two entirely different people. Original Obi Wan is not without humor, but he’s ultimately a serious, dedicated man. Prequel Obi Wan is sassy, impulsive, and has a dedication to fashion no number of years or friend murders could dull. Look at this man! You’re telling me he was just hanging out on Tatooine, in the hills, without a drop of hair gel? That whole planet couldn’t contain this swagger. No hate, but they’re entirely different people.
The Real Reason Anakin Turned
Image via Memedroid
It’s not exactly a hot take, but the Jedi Order was messed up. I mean, for people with so many rules, they had approximately zero morals. Let’s tell people not to love anyone and then expect them to have compassion! Let’s break the Geneva Convention! Seriously, for such a supposedly great civilization, they were about 0% civilized. If he hadn’t murdered all those kids and become a space fascist, Anakin just would have been right. Honestly… down with the Jedi, and good for Luke burning all their manuals. You can be stabby without being authoritarian and colonialist and repressive. Get it together.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe is one of the most successful film franchises of all time, and that’s all thanks to producer Kevin Feige. The head of Marvel Studios has overseen every Marvel film in the series, infusing it with lighthearted humor, colorful visuals, and likable characters. Now, it looks like Feige is bringing his signature MCU style to another Disney franchise.
Image Via Wikipedia
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Feige has been in talks with Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy about developing a new Star Wars film. This news comes from Walt Disney Studios co-chairman Alan Horn:
We are excited about the projects Kathy and the Lucasfilm team are working on, not only in terms of Star Wars but also Indiana Jones and reaching into other parts of the company including Children of Blood and Bone with Emma Watts and Fox. With the close of the Skywalker Saga, Kathy is pursuing a new era in Star Wars storytelling, and knowing what a die-hard fan Kevin is, it made sense for these two extraordinary producers to work on a Star Wars film together.
This news has yet to be confirmed by Feige, Kennedy, or Walt Disney as a whole, but with the end of the current trilogy coming in December and with Feige’s excellent track record, it would not be surprising if we hear more news about this development in the near future.