Disney Plus is lighting the Black Flame Candle and bringing the Sanderson Sisters back from the past (again) for the sequel!
Choose your favorite Halloween Costumes from the options below and we'll recommend a scary short story that you should totally check out if you want to get into the Spooky Season Spirit!
Remember when The Cask of the Amontillado memes came back and crushed the scene for no reason? Those were good times, and they’re not gone. In fact, I have cases of Amontillado memes. Right this way, they’re just at the back of my cellar.
Um… Excuse me.
Image via Imgur
Who would lock him up? You’re a monster if you don’t protect him. Look how baby he is! I’m shook. Come to think of it, he definitely shouldn’t be drinking wine either. Let him out, pat him on the head, and get him something dogs like to drink instead. The look on his face is priceless. So polite. Like… pardon? I may have a problem? The little paw too, he just conveys so much with so little space. I don’t care how much he wronged me, I’d just keep bearing those affronts. I would gladly let him kill me.
Why do I Never See That Guy Anymore?
Image via Know Your Meme
Fortunato? Well, I certainly didn’t murder him, if that’s what you mean! Are you asking if I lured him down to the cellar and knocked him out? Don’t be ridiculous! Where would you even get that idea? I certainly didn’t build a wall over him so he’ll die slowly entombed in the earth. You guys have a lot of questions, lol. So specific! Why would I pretend to be his friend, secretly hate him, and then plot to get him drunk and murder him? You’re a riot.
The Internet is GOOD
Image via Tumblr
People say that phones would ruin classic media, but people are wrong. Can you believe this? Imagine all that nonsense, then Fortunato sobers up a little and realizes he’s got his cellphone. The sheer silliness appeals terribly to the post-absurdist sensibility we’ve got going these days. I also really appreciate the anticlimax. Oh god, he walled him in! Wait, wait, he’s got his cellphone. It’s fine. PEAK COMEDY, I tell you. What did we do before Twitter?
You Know the Look
Image via Twitter
I don’t even know where to go from here, to be perfectly honest. How can something that’s borderline incoherent be so funny? Who gave it the right? Memes have gotten so abstract in the hundred-seventy-three-years since this was published. Why did this become a craze? Were people like ‘you know what’s relevant to the modern world? A sedate story about wine and revenge from over a hundred-fifty-years ago’. It’s a spicy take.
We’ve All Been There
Image via Imgur
Does anybody remember this show? And could you possibly explain to me why every single train had the worst personality ever put to film? I wasn’t rooting for any of those jerks. And what could possibly be the situation pictured here? Are they actually cask-of-the-amontillato-ing a guy? He doesn’t exactly look comfortable with whatever’s going on. These are children’s books, for goodness’ sake. Did they really just go, ‘I know what’s good for this kid’s book! Murder!’ Ahead of their time, I guess?
Featured image via Tumblr
Horror is a genre that intrigues us because of its ability to terrify us and poke at our greatest fears. I believe that any mind-provoking book is a good book, but horror does more than provoke—it picks at our minds, invades us, and for whatever reason, this gives us a sense of excitement. So what’s the science behind scary stuff, and why do we love that adrenaline rush of fear?
The human body has hormones that trigger a flight or fight response as a reaction to fear, but when the body is in a setting that it knows its safe such as a roller coaster or haunted house, we’re able to enjoy that high-energy sensation of wanting to run or hide. Your frontal lobe is able to convince your body that you are physically okay, activating a response more akin to pleasure than panic. It’s similar to the adrenaline we get from being extremely happy or surprised, except fear is interpreted in a different way. Horror also represents creativity and allows us to delve into an unknown part of our minds.
Image by the occult museum
It’s not just a matter of taste and adrenaline, either— there are two types of personalities in relation to fear and horror: those who are sensation-seeking, the avid readers of Stephen King who laugh at the worst jump scares because they enjoy being scared and want to be mentally challenged, versus those who exhibit more sensitive and fearful traits.
If you’re a horror lover who has seen every horror movie down to the goriest and the most disturbing, and you own a complete collection of Stephen King books, you’re probably sensation-seeking. You’ll probably also be the one who laughs at your friends when they hide their eyes in the movie theater. If you force your friends to prep you for every scary scene in advance and wake up screaming from nightmares of Pennywise from IT or, even worse, Charlie from Hereditary, you’re probably more sensitive and shy.
image by alchetron
Those who love horror books or any type of spook tend to be extroverted and open to new experiences, but loving horror isn’t only for the bravest souls—it’s also a trait common in people with high levels of empathy. Understanding the emotions of a character on the page, even if it’s fear, helps us feel connected to the characters in books and movies.
Everyone is into horror nowadays and it’s hardly a disconcerting hobby, but readers still question the minds of horror writers like Stephen King.
The ideas for some of King’s books, like The Shining, came from his dreams (this interesting article lists the specific creation stories and original ideas for some of King’s novels), and it makes his readers wonder if he’s truly as twisted and creepy as the characters he creates. Who would dream up a man as terrible as Jack Torrance for fun, and who would write such a terrifying clown?
image by the telegraph
Yet it’s still fun for us to read about these characters, and we’d be devastated if Stephen King stopped writing. There’s an article on Quora that asks, “Do you ever think Stephen King could be a seriously twisted person?” The responses to this question come from King fans who cite him as a family man and defend the uncontrollableness of the creative mind. So it’s more likely that Stephen King is just as creative and obsessed with adrenaline-inducing fear as the rest of us.
Feature image by The Thrillist
The Picture of Dorian Gray is a horrifying and hilarious masterpiece, and as with it’s author, every single thing about it is iconic. Sure, it might have been heavily redacted and then also banned, but there’s still a lot to unpack, and how better to explore gothic literature than through memes? You already know.
Image via Meme
This is when I admit that I never watched iCarly as a kid. Goodness only knows why, but I can see now that I really missed out. Still, the hilarity of trying to play off an ostrich needs no context, and recast as Dorian and his posse it’s a whole other level. Nothing’s up! Just being super normal over here, not selling my soul even a little. Anyone want a smoothie?
Show Your True Self
Image via Pinterest
I feel like this is a pretty modern take, actually. We’re the generation that can see a lizard just doing its thing and be like… “same, bro”. If someone had a horrifying portrait of themselves in their living room we’d think it was ironic or avant garde, or at least a big mood. What an eccentric he is! Plus, he might’ve shown a little more self control if he was looking at the consequences, even if he wasn’t wearing them.
Guess How He Looks Now
Image via Sizzle
I love how this trope started as clickbait and turned into a meme. Who cares about how child actors look now? Not me, and clearly not a lot of people, because it’s been eons since I saw a version of this that wasn’t a joke. Of course, this is a little funnier than the average fare, though. It actually manages to make me feel old, because I’m laughing at a Dorian Gray meme. No judgement. I’m just saying.
No Good Deed
Image via Gramha
You think you know someone. You paint them, you have all this sexual tension, you grant them eternal life, and what do you get as thanks? Nothing good, I’ll tell you that. It’s just like the saying. I don’t really have an excuse for using a meme this out of vogue, except to say that I still think it’s funny. We may all be used to airpods now, but I still accidentally talk to people wearing them. Not usually to warn them of their impending murder, though.
Art is so Powerful
Image via Tumblr
Basil really does get the treatment usually reserved for women burned as witches. Sure, he can do something supernatural, maybe, but on it’s face, it’s only helping Dorian. Like, no one made him act like a careless lech or drink all that. If I had a portrait that granted me eternal life, I don’t know what I’d do, but not what Dorian did for sure. Basil was just trying to be, you know, a bro.
Featured image via Dorian Gray Suggests