As Game of Thrones nears its end and the Avengers prepare to assemble one last time: how can we avoid spoilers? Not look? Families don’t go to the zoo and not expect to see a lion or two; because let’s be honest, a zoo without lions would be exceptionally lame (I’m not condoning the incarceration of animals by the way—set them free). Spoilers are like lions and we are their prey. Even now, millions of unsuspecting people are scrolling their news feeds and aimlessly goggling while you read this article. You don’t know me; maybe I’m some sick spoiler obsessed freak who’s about to drop the incendiary piece of information that ruins your day, week, month or year. Lucky enough for you, I’m reformed. I used to love spoilers; however, the months leading up to the final season of Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame have changed me.
Once upon a time, impatience was my mistress. I would read and watch stories up until the moment a cliffhanger or some oblique bit of ominous information presented itself. Masterclass storytellers would wind me up like a jack in the box until I exploded and craved an answer or an ending. I couldn’t stand not knowing. How could I possibly be a productive member of society with thousands of possible story threads/outcomes tangling up my brain? It only made sense to flip further a few pages or do one innocent online search—simply to put my mind at ease and move on with my life. And shouldn’t I grant others the same relief?
People don’t like that.
Directors like the Anthony and Joseph Russo don’t like that. After the ending of Avengers Endgame was recently leaked online the duo took to their shared (exercise some individuality guys) Twitter:
I’m with them on this one. But I won’t lie to you: I can’t say my past as a member of the sinful spoiler syndicate was not dark and disturbed. When I experienced stories in the traditional way I couldn’t wait to talk to someone about them or to see their reaction.
I’m sorry Tucker for pretending Battle of the Bastards just popped up on my T.V. by accident when you were committed to reading TheWinds of Winter first. I was sick. Impatience is like irreverently racing towards the finish line, throwing earned catharsis, character development and revelations to the wind. The internet reinforces this with an endless rabbit hole of theorizing in the form of videos, Reddit threads and wasted hours.
That’s all very unfulfilling…and there’s probably a very bad place reserved for those who spoil Harry Potter’s semi-death, Robert Neville’s monstrosities, Tyler Durden’s existence or how gone a girl Amy Dunne really is. Fortunately, my taste for spoilers seems to be diminishing with age so I have the rest of my life to repent.
At this point in my life, I don’t want the end of Game of Thrones or Avengers: Endgame spoiled for me. I’ve spent too much time with these characters. I want to experience it. The only problem is: spoilers are out there and threatening the immersive storytelling experience craftsmen like the Russo brothers set out to provide. In their case, a twenty-two film arc finale.
Minutes before I sat down to watch the premiere episode of GoT on Sunday, I received more than a few text messages from people who were not going to be able to see it right away. Some of them said things like “Don’t say anything,” “I’m blocking you until tomorrow,” “I’m going to be an hour behind. If you ruin anything consider our friendship terminated.” I’m still regaining people’s trust…
And to those who still find a way to spoil things for people: I will beat you.
The biggest part of Game of Thrones is most definitely the character deaths. While most of them, and most of the series, is incredibly soul crushing, there have been some deaths that have brought a great deal of joy to our lives!
So, brace yourselves the top 11 most satisfying deaths in GOT are coming!
(And so are spoilers.)
Image via Buzzfeed.
1. Lysa Arryn
Image via Blue Milk.
You have to admit, you wanted something bad to happen to her. And then, when it actually, happened you weren’t sure how to feel! Now don’t get me wrong, Lyssa did not necessarily deserve to die, but she sure as hell rubbed everyone the wrong way.
With her grossly wild obsession with Littlefinger—which drove her to murder her own husband—Lyssa was a really weak character who mistakenly believed she was powerful. On top of that, her relationship with her son, and the way she threatened Sansa and Tyrion, just made her grossly unlikeable!
(Also, the irony of being thrown down the Moon Door by her “lover” after threatening everyone else with it is pretty darn satisfying.)
2. The Waif
Image via Cosmopolitan.
Although she wasn’t a huge player throughout the series, the Waif was a threat to one of the fan-favorites: Arya Stark.
We all wanted to see Arya kick some major ass in Season 5, but, under the training of the Faceless Men, she is looked down on, beaten, and literally left blind!
Image via Giphy.
It was a very depressing time for GoT fans. Season 5 was rough to get through (and rougher for Arya).
That’s what makes the fight between Arya and the Waif such a relief to watch! As season 6 finally builds the series back up, the win for our girl Arya is a moment of satisfaction for fans, one that lifted all our hopes for the series.
Image via We Heart It.
Watch the full battle here!
3. Stannis Baratheon
Image via Time Magazine.
Love him, hate him, or feel something in between, everyone has a different opinion on Stannis. While there were a number of lovable aspects to his character, Stannis also did many unsavory things, like killing his own brother in the beginning of the series.
In spite of that, he grew on many people as a character who was neither trying to be cruel nor trying to be a hero. It was only until he tossed the one redeeming quality he had, his role as a genuinely kindhearted father, that fans desperately wanted to see him fail.
Image via Business Insider.
Yup! In a desperate play for success, he sacrificed the life of his daughter, dropping his approval rating back down to being one of the most hated characters in Game of Thrones.
Stannis becoming the worst father in Westeros (not an easy feat), and in general making a number of downright awful decisions, is not the only reason his death is so satisfying. The fact that Brienne of Tarth, who pledged herself to Renly’s Kingsguard back in Season 2, was the one who took him out brings everything neatly full circle.
I would’ve included Selyse Baratheon’s death, as she is the absolute worst mother of the year, but the fact that she took her life realizing how terrible she is makes it more upsetting and bittersweet.
4. Viserys Targaryen
Image via HelloGiggles.
Here’s another character we found unbearably annoying and couldn’t wait for karma knock down.
Viserys was always looking to get what he felt he deserved, and, like so many in the series, he claimed that the Iron Throne was his birthright. Unlike Stannis, however, Viserys really didn’t have any redeemable qualities. In fact, his death is one of the few deaths everyone can agree brought us nothing but joy!
After selling off his sister, the beloved Mother of Dragons Danaerys Targaryen, to the savage warrior tribe the Dothraki, Viserys becomes nothing more than whiny and abusive. With the tides turned and Danaerys gaining more power and happiness from her initially forced marriage, Viserys becomes more of a useless character.
To all of our delight, he was finally gone! And I guess you can say he got the crown he really deserved.
Image via Gyfcat.
What also makes this death so satisfying is Danny’s reaction to it and the power that she’s finally given! So satisfying!
5. Olenna Tyrell
Image via Cosmopolitan.
Who didn’t love Olenna?! I mean really! She was hilarious, full of wit, had more control of her situation than any other character, and she wasn’t a shitty person, like every other royal person who visited King’s Landing.
Her death, as unfortunate as it was, was perfect for her. Olenna didn’t suffer, and she took it like the total badass that she is! That alone would be enough to make everyone feel at ease, but what makes her death really great (which is weird to say, I know) is her confession at the end!
Skip to 4:05 for the good bits.
Finally, we learned of the Messiah that freed us of the pest that we all know as Joffrey!
Thank you Olenna, you wonderful badass!
Pretty much everyone’s reaction after her death. | Image via Tumblr.
6. Tywin Lannister
Image via Uproxx.
Love him or hate him, you have to hand it to him: the man commands respect.
Like Stannis, Tywin had likeable moments and less likeable moments. Despite his slightly pompous behavior, he definitely trended more towards likeable through sheer grudging respect.
It always seemed that with every arrogant or generally dislikable moment that Tywin had, he’d follow it up with a moment where you would think maybe he is a decent guy. That is… until he betrayed Tyrion—his own son—by running a rigged trial against him, sentencing him to death, and even admitting that he always wanted Tyrion to die.
There have also been things that Tywin has done that merit serious punishment. Let’s not forget the battle of The Mountain versus the Viper where Oberyn Martell tried to reveal that Tywin is the man who plotted the rape and murder of his sister and her children! Then there’s also the whole plotting the Red Wedding thing, pretty terrible stuff.
I’m getting ahead of myself, though. Aside from all of Tywin’s horrible qualities, what makes his death oh so satisfying is Tyrion. He needed this! This was a moment of power for him.
All the times he was insulted, scapegoated, and held captive, his very life threatened and out of his control, this was his moment of taking power into his own hands. What better way to do that by murdering your own cold, arrogant father in the most embarrassing way possible: on the porcelain throne!
Skip to 3:21-6:23 for the good bits.
7. Alliser Thorne
Image via Cosmopolitan.
Bitter and grouchy, Alliser Thorne was always a miserable face to see. Unhappy with his forced position in the Night’s Watch, he would take his bitterness out on all the new recruits as the Master-at-Arms. Alliser especially harbored negative feelings toward Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly, but he definitely had more animosity toward Jon.
Unlike many of the hated characters throughout the series, Alliser has no redeeming qualities and only seems to become worse of a human being with each moment he is on screen—especially since, unlike Viserys, he actually has power and is given more power over time. Not that he could be more hated by fans, but running a mutiny against Jon did not help make him any more popular.
In spite of seeing Alliser being punished in the end, it is still very bittersweet to watch the other members of the Night’s Watch, especially Olly, be executed alongside him.
8. Joffrey Baratheon
Image via Cosmopolitan.
The death we had all been waiting for! Surely I don’t need much of an explanation for this.
Joffrey was absolute garbage, and, really, I feel like I may be insulting garbage! He was rotten to the core, arrogant without any merit, obnoxious, immature… I can go on and on!
I think everyone can agree that he is the most detestable character that every existed in anything, which is probably not at all an exaggeration.
Image via Giphy.
I digress; everyone was waiting for Joffrey’s death. And if it weren’t so abrupt, I would’ve put it higher on this list. But as happy as we all were that he died, the sudden poisoning did leave some of us wanting a little more. Not to mention that the satisfaction of his death was short-lived since it put Tyrion’s life in danger and left us with the question of who did it.
It wasn’t until Olenna’s death that we were given the satisfaction of knowing who took Joffrey’s life.
9. The Freys
Image via movieweb.
Although they had little screen time throughout the seasons, the Freys are detestable for betraying the Starks and putting us through the Red Wedding, a scene that will live in infamy and is to thank for an increase in work for therapists everywhere!
Not only have they committed truly horrific acts, but they themselves are just downright gross in behavior! Walder Frey, head of the house, is a clear example of this. He’s not only arrogant, misogynistic, and selfish, but he treats his own family members like they are pawns.
Walder and the Freys’ end is so satisfying as it not only is well-deserved, but also well-executed! The fact that Arya takes them out using her newfound skills from the Faceless Men is the perfect twist ending to season 6!
10. Peter Baelish, a.k.a. Littlefinger
Image via Cosmopolitan.
Nobody really loves this man of manipulation, always hiding in the shadows, never fighting his own battles himself. Littlefinger was always conniving from beginning to end, so it seems right that his end would be of the same nature.
After tearing apart the sisters Catelyn and Lyssa Stark, using Lyssa for his own means, and playing both sides in the battle between the Starks and the Lannisters, Littlefinger is finally punished for all his crimes when Sansa and Arya join forces to take him down!
11. Ramsay Bolton
Image via The Telegraph.
And you thought that Joffrey was bad! Now, as obnoxious as Joffrey was, the torture that Ramsay put everyone he encountered through was on the level of nightmares.
That’s literal torture: murdering his own infant half-brother and brutal rape. There is no low too low for Ramsay. Even without the particulars of his death, Ramsay’s death would certainly be at the top of any satisfying deaths.
What makes his death even better is the fact that Sansa gets her revenge against him with that perfect coy smile.
Jean Grey would definitely sit on the Iron Throne.
Movie trailers are a weird entity; they’re basically mini-movies that attempt to summarize (but not spoil) an even bigger movie. Unlike the blurb of a book, which is generally brief, and completely spoiler-free, sometimes trailers give away A LOT.
In an age where information runs rampant online, trailers really should only exist for movies that really need marketing. Example: Game of Thrones has yet to show any trailer-like footage from season 8. Why? HBO doesn’t need to, we’re all going to watch it anyway. No need to risk showing too much. This is one of the reasons the newest trailer for the upcoming X-Men movie Dark Phoenix has totally bummed me out.
Spoiler Alert…but is it a spoiler if it happens in the trailer?
Image Via Nerdist.com
The Dark Phoenix story arch is a very well known storyline in the X-Men comics, one where everyone’s favorite redhead gives loses control of her telepathic powers and hulks out on Professor Xavier and friends (see what I did there? “Hulks,” it makes sense because it’s all Marvel universe). It’s all very tragic and messy; this was roughly portrayed in the abomination that was the 2006 film X Men: The Last Stand. Apparently, in the newest adaptation of this classic comic book plot, Jean Grey (Sophie Turner of Game of Thrones fame) is going kill everyone’s favorite shape-shifting Jennifer Lawrence AKA the mutant Mystique. I know of this earth-shattering twist because it is shown in the opening moments of the new trailer:
This sucks for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, Jennifer Lawrence characterization of Mystique is literally the best thing to happen to the cinematic X-Men Franchise since Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine. I’m sorry Rebecca Romijn, but c’mon. Secondly, I don’t want to know about a bombshell fatality before I even see the movie. I couldn’t even pay attention to the rest of the trailer because I was processing the fact that I haven’t seen Jennifer Lawrence in a movie since Mother! Jennifer Lawrence characters are not fairing well on the silver screen right now.
Image Via Indiewire.com
In an interview with Dark Phoenix‘s director, Simon Kinberg explains the decision to include this in the trailer:
“The thought process behind that was to primarily show that this is a movie that is unlike other X-Men movies. It’s a movie where shocking things happen, where intense, dramatic things happen. People don’t just fall off buildings and dust themselves off and walk away. There’s a reality to this movie and a consequence to this movie. Even more than that, it was to show that Jean/Dark Phoenix is genuinely a threat to everyone, including the X-Men.”
Image Via Denofgeek.com
The first 2000 X-Men film could be looked at like a lightning rod for comic book adaptations. The fact that the comic book drew vivid and intentional parallels between mutants and other marginalized groups made it a wise and needed adaptation. Not only did the original film open cinema up to a variety of other comic book adaptions but it was the beginning of the X-Men film series as we know it today. Given Marvel’s pending deal to acquire the rights to all the X-Men characters, X-Men will probably be the last movie with the particular nonsensical (a bunch of plot holes) X-Men universe we’ve been watching on screen for almost two decades. So they better kill everyone, otherwise, they’ve already ruined the best twist of the movie.
Unlike other sites who have thus far covered the story of the new video taken of the Game of Thrones set, we are not using a still from the video as our feature image, nor are we blatantly telling you what has been seen in the title. No, we at Bookstr are kind to the Game of Thrones fandom. Lord knows they’ve been through enough. So now you’ve been warned. Read on only if you are prepared for a big ol’ GoT spoiler. It’s been a while, so your heart may have just about recovered from the last one.
A video taken by a fan on a mobile phone, appears to show Winterfell on fire yet again. I know. It’s already burned down once (thanks, Ramsey), and looks set to be torched once more. It is not known who struck the match or what the circumstances of the fire are. All we know is that it very much is on fire.
Game of Thrones, which has by now surpassed the timeline of the books, meaning fans now having no idea what direction the series will head in, is currently filming its eighth and final season, with a budget of £11.2 million. It is now the most expensive per-episode show in the history of television.
I hope this news hasn’t come as too much of a blow, but I’m assuming at this stage you can no longer feel pain or any other emotion.