Jane Eyre is a wonderful, compelling book. It’s also silly, competitive, and bonkers insulting. Let’s make it even sillier with the best the nonsense internet has to offer.
So you get this job in the middle of nowhere. Sure, they didn’t give you a lot of details, but at least nothing else is weird about it, and your new boss is super nice. Your name is not Jane Eyre.
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Life’s hard for an orphan, but Jane isn’t really one to complain, she kind of just takes it as it comes. It’s just as well, because even aside from her aunt hating her, people don’t seem to feel the need to be very nice to her, even our ‘hero’ and the rest of the people she meets at work.
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But boy do they. And she does too. Get some self confidence, girl! Sure, Rochester might not flirt like a normal person, but that’s no reflection on you. Being constantly downtrodden doesn’t mean you can’t live your best life! Why, when I was your age, I hadn’t received any proposals of marriage, and you have two! Sure, one is your cousin, and the other is already married, but ‘plain’ is either false or irrelevant. Mostly.
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We need a spin off. Did anyone else have about a million questions about Blanche? She’s pretty and popular, sure, and Rochester nearly marries her, but from Jane’s perspective, she’s sort of a force of nature. Personally, I want to know more.
It’s like things can never be easy for Jane. Even when she gets what she wants it goes sideways.
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So fun! Sure, it’s a bit of a rocky start, but marriage is complicated. I think those crazy kids can make it. Probably. If there’s something crazy that brings them back together. But what are the chances of that?
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We’re talking ARSON. We’re talking FALSE IMPRISONMENT. We’re talking BLINDNESS. How does Rochester feel so guilty but also act so cold? The man’s an enigma. Guilty as he may feel about Bertha, though, he moves on fast. You didn’t have to be so weird this whole time, man! You could’ve been happy!
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I’d love to know what’s going on in that guy’s head. I sort of picture it like beauty and the beast where he’s just angry in some room alone, slamming doors.
Lot’s of ups and downs, but all’s well that ends well (is this a happy ending?), I guess.
Well, HBO is developing a prequel series and George R.R. Martin still has to finish the series, so Game of Thrones will live on on the silver screen and on the page. But the main show, the only show as of now, the show that brought many of us to this fantastic story and allowed book readers to sit back with smug looks on their faces, is coming to a close.
In honor of that, let us sit back and reflect.
And laugh a little as we go through all the parodies of Game of Thrones through the last nine years (that’s nearly a decade of murder over a big chair!)
Let’s run back to May 24, 2013. You might not have been in your comfy seat, but you felt that warm and fuzzy feeling as a smile came across your face.
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Recall that smile, and together we’ll watch back when times were simple. Among other things, Jimmy Fallon was the host of Late Night on NBC. He and his teams of expert writers transformed the 30 Rockefeller Center into its own version of Westeros. The Iron Thrones became the Iron Desk, Dragons were Peacocks, and the Red Wedding hadn’t aired yet.
On Sep 25, 2013 we were graced with this wonderful parody. Bill Hader, future Richard Tozier in It Chapter 2, stands before three super fans played by Taran Killam and Aidy Bryant, but the third fan, Duncan (Zach Galifianakis) has come dressed as a dragon. Why is Jaime called Kingslaver? Who killed Half-hand? Easy questions, but Duncan is asked this: What is the capitol of Wisconsin?
Oh, I feel attacked, and the sketch isn’t even in full swing yet.
What happens when you bring a brooding Jon Snow to a dinner party in a Brooklynn Townhouse? On April 7, 2015, five days before season 5’s premiere, Seth Myers learned that winter was coming. Spring has sprung, he prattled, but Jon Snow gave his usual warning, “Winter is coming.”
“So much for global warming,” one patrons jests.
“You won’t be laughing when the white walkers rip you limb from limb.”
It’s funny because the Night King hadn’t risen the dead in front of our eyes.
Hope you didn’t have a baby shower before Feb 18, 2016, because you might have invited the wrong guest. Seth Meyers did in his sketch on Late Night where he brought the Red Priestess herself, Melsiandre, to a baby shower. “The night is dark and full of terrors,” she warned, sitting in a room with not only Seth Myers, but his pregnant wife and human rights attorney Alexi Ashe. At least didn’t set anyone on fire.
On April 3, 2016, SNL gave the stage to Peter Dinklage and Emilia Clarke (Kate McKinnon) as they took viewers behind the scenes on Game of Thrones’ sixth season, giving us our first look of Tyrion with the pre-CGI Dragons. Yes, they sound like raptors but Randy is hilarious.
And if Drogon sounds like Randy, then he totally should talk.
Back on May 8, 2016 it was a simpler time. “Jon Snow is dead!” all the characters say, while we the audience sat back and said, “Shut up and bring him back.” In this sketch, Cecily Strong and S.N.L host Brie Lawson (Captian Marvel) act as audience surrogates, showing that maybe things were a lot easier during episodes 601 and 602 when we know what was coming.
The best part is Jon keeps waking up and being told “Not yet!” by Melsiandre.
You might remember this one since this sketch only aired on Dec 8, 2018. It’s KHAL DROGO’S GHOST DOJO! It’s a place where all the characters who died on Game of Thrones can go. With Khal Drogo there for Dothraki public access, what can go wrong?
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Either way you cut it, its laugh-out-loud hilarious to see Khal Drogo meet several other dead characters. The first guest is a punch in the gut, however, since it’s the lovable puff-bag Hodor. Honestly, that “hold the door” joke was as painful as the Red Wedding. At least they made it up with hearing him actually speak in coherent sentences.
On a related note, sorry for bringing up the Red Wedding. I know you probably forget about it.