Tag: scary

5 Timeless Dorian Gray Memes

The Picture of Dorian Gray is a horrifying and hilarious masterpiece, and as with it’s author, every single thing about it is iconic. Sure, it might have been heavily redacted and then also banned, but there’s still a lot to unpack, and how better to explore gothic literature than through memes? You already know.

 

No Biggie

Image via Meme

This is when I admit that I never watched iCarly as a kid. Goodness only knows why, but I can see now that I really missed out. Still, the hilarity of trying to play off an ostrich needs no context, and recast as Dorian and his posse it’s a whole other level. Nothing’s up! Just being super normal over here, not selling my soul even a little. Anyone want a smoothie?

 

Show Your True Self

Image via Pinterest

I feel like this is a pretty modern take, actually. We’re the generation that can see a lizard just doing its thing and be like… “same, bro”. If someone had a horrifying portrait of themselves in their living room we’d think it was ironic or avant garde, or at least a big mood. What an eccentric he is! Plus, he might’ve shown a little more self control if he was looking at the consequences, even if he wasn’t wearing them.

 

Guess How He Looks Now

Image via Sizzle

I love how this trope started as clickbait and turned into a meme. Who cares about how child actors look now? Not me, and clearly not a lot of people, because it’s been eons since I saw a version of this that wasn’t a joke. Of course, this is a little funnier than the average fare, though. It actually manages to make me feel old, because I’m laughing at a Dorian Gray meme. No judgement. I’m just saying.

 

No Good Deed

Image via Gramha

You think you know someone. You paint them, you have all this sexual tension, you grant them eternal life, and what do you get as thanks? Nothing good, I’ll tell you that. It’s just like the saying. I don’t really have an excuse for using a meme this out of vogue, except to say that I still think it’s funny. We may all be used to airpods now, but I still accidentally talk to people wearing them. Not usually to warn them of their impending murder, though.

 

Art is so Powerful

Image via Tumblr

Basil really does get the treatment usually reserved for women burned as witches. Sure, he can do something supernatural, maybe, but on it’s face, it’s only helping Dorian. Like, no one made him act like a careless lech or drink all that. If I had a portrait that granted me eternal life, I don’t know what I’d do, but not what Dorian did for sure. Basil was just trying to be, you know, a bro.

 

Featured image via Dorian Gray Suggests

5 More Horrifying Two Sentence Horror Stories

The possibilities for horror are endless…even when you only have two sentences to terrify your readers. Lucky for you, here’s five more creepy and disturbing horror stories that only take a few sentences to read.

 

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Image via the impact news

 

1. My wife woke me up last night to tell me there was an intruder in our house. She was murdered by an intruder two years ago. — The_D_String

 

 

2. The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door. — Scry67

 

3. After working a hard day I came home to see my girlfriend cradling our child. I didn’t know which was more frightening, seeing my dead girlfriend and stillborn child, or knowing that someone broke into my apartment to place them there. — cobaltcollapse

 

 

4. You hear your mom calling you into the kitchen. As you are heading down the stairs you hear a whisper from the closet saying “Don’t go down there honey, I heard it too.” — comparativelysane

 

5. I never go to sleep. But I keep waking up. — genetically_witless

 

 

Featured Image via Thrillist

7 Nostalgic Spooky Stories to Put You in the Halloween Mood

One of the major themes of books and movies this year seems to be nostalgia. Everyone is constantly looking for a hint of that childhood magic and mystery, and with Halloween coming up, it’s a perfect time to revisit some of our favorite scary stories reminiscent of elementary and middle school Halloween parties. Here’s a list of seven of our favorite childhood spooks.

 

1. The Black cat by edgar allan poe

 

theblackcatcadabrabanner1200x627 - Exclusive: Cadabra Records is Back With Edgar Allan Poe's THE BLACK CAT

Image via dreadcentral

 

There are so many perfectly disturbing Poe stories that are suitable for Halloween, most of which feature themes of delusion, madness, and all-around creepy vibes. The Black Cat is one such story about a normally docile man who lashes out at his pet cat in a fit of rage while under the influence of alcohol. Poe describes the man cutting out his cat’s eye in horrific detail, and after the man comes back to his senses, a combination of alcoholism and guilt continue to drive him to madness. The man finally snaps and attacks his cat once again, but his actions lead to an even more gruesome, unexpected death. In typical Poe fashion, the man tries to bury his guilt until it returns to him in the form of the supernatural. This one’s sure to send shivers down your spine and may have traumatized you as a kid. It’s definitely not for cat fans!

 

2. The Monkey’s paw by w.w. jacobs

 

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image via comingsoon.net

 

If you remember The Monkey’s Paw from elementary or middle school, you probably remember being seriously spooked. The monkey’s paw is a charm from India that has the ability to grant three wishes to three different people. It had two other owners, the first of which used his final wish to take his own life before it ended up in Mr. White’s hands. But every time the White family makes a wish on the monkey’s paw, there’s a horrible catch. Their first wish for money results in the death of their son, Herbert, and the White family receives money as compensation for his death. In the midst of her grief, Mrs. White demands that her husband wish her son back to life. Just after he does, there’s an ominous knocking at the Whites’ door. This creepy story reawakens our childhood imagination and teaches us the ultimate lesson: Be careful what you wish for.

 

3. The Legend of sleepy hollow by Washington Irving

 

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image via fantasy & world music by the fiechters

 

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow is a classic short story that tells the tale of Ichabod, a teacher living in smalltown Sleepy Hollow. Hoping to win the hand of Katrina Van Tassel, the daughter of one of the richest farmers in Sleepy Hollow, he goes to her father’s farm to win her over. But Brom Van Brunt, one of Katrina’s other potential suitors, is known for physically imitating anyone who tries to woo Katrina. Brom plays pranks on Ichabod until he gets frustrated, and as he’s heading home he runs into a creature far more terrifying than Brom. A dark figure riding a horse begins to follow Ichabod on his path home, and Ichabod notices—with utter horror—that the man’s head is detached from his body. The Headless Horseman throws his detached head at Ichabod, knocking him off his horse. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow is spooky in a comforting kind of way. The world can’t be all bad as long as we have Sleepy Hollows with legends of Headless Horsemen. Or middle school legends of Bloody Mary hiding in the bathroom.

 

4. In a dark, dark room and other scary stories by Alvin Schwartz

 

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image via the paris review

 

In A Dark, Dark Room is a book to be read and chanted aloud, classroom-style. In the title story, things just keep getting darker and darker and spookier and spookier. Another memorable story in this collection is The Green Ribbon. It’s about a little girl named Jenny who always wears a green ribbon around her neck. When she grows older, her husband, Alfred, asks about the ribbon but she refuses to tell him. Once Jenny had grown old and was nearing her death, she removed the green ribbon and her head fell off. Jenny and her green ribbon are absolute proof that we pretended to be the bravest children ever (even though most of us were probably terrified.)

 

 

5. High beamS (Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark by Alvin Schwartz)

 

High Beams

image via scaryforkids

 

Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark is possibly the most nostalgic collection of spooky short stories of all. The movie was released this past month, but it’s worth revisiting the short stories and the movie in celebration of Halloween. There are three stories in the collection that are particularly terrifying, one of which is “High Beams,” a story about a woman driving home and paranoid about a man following her and flashing his headlights behind her. Once the woman gets home and runs inside calling for her dad, the man who had been following her explains he was trying to warn her about the person hiding in her backseat and holding a knife. This story is definitely shiver-inducing for anyone who’s ever driven alone in the dark.

 

6. “The red spot” (Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark)

 

 

“The Red Spot” is serious children’s—or adults’—body horror. In it, a girl gets a red boil on her face that turns out to be a bunch of spider eggs that hatch. Anyone will arachnophobia or a general disgust of eight-legged creatures has to shudder at that one, not to mention the horror movie-level illustration included with it.

 

7. “Harold” (Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark)

 

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image via refinery29

 

Finally, we have “Harold,” which might be the creepiest of all. It’s about two cowherds who hate a particular farmer and create a scarecrow imitation of him to taunt and spit at only to find that the scarecrow comes to life at night. One of the cowherds goes missing and when the other goes looking for him, he sees a giant version of Harold stretching out the bloody human skin of his friend. Serious childhood trauma right there.

 

 

Featured image via Dread Central

Braaaaains! And Some of the Best Zombie Novels of All Time!

Our culture is obsessed with zombies. The undead plague has caught on in nearly all forms of media: from movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Zombieland), video games (Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising, Dying Light), and television (The Walking Dead, iZombie, Ash vs Evil Dead). And yes, literature too! Our obsession with the undead has created a lot of content, some of it awful but some of it quite good. Let’s have a look at who rises from the grave best, with the best zombie books of all time!

 

 

5. ‘Monster Island’ by David Wellington

 

Image Via Amazon

 

Monster Island by David Wellington takes place a month after the zombie apocalypse, where just a few pockets of humanity are struggling to survive against the horde. The story pairs up a military man with an army of schoolgirls, as they venture into a zombie infested New York City to find the cure for the undead plague. A fast paced, action packed novel with lots of zombie killing while building a fantastic atmosphere with the spooky New York location, this is a great, pulpy read.

 

4. ‘The Girl with all the gifts’ by M.R. Carey

 

Image via Amazon

 

The Girl With All The Gifts is a genre defying, emotionally hefty story that will leave you in tears at the end. The story follows a unique zombie plague (unique in that it’s fungal, not viral or bacterial). And the book takes place 20 years following the initial outbreak, and unfortunately, I can’t tell you much more than that in fear of spoiling it for you. The book has well-written female protagonists that don’t feel rushed or just thrown in for the sake of being there. It’s a uniquely heartfelt zombie book that you won’t be able to put down.

 

 

3. ‘The Reapers Are the Angels’ by Alden Bell

 

Image via Amazon

 

The Reapers Are the Angels by Alden Bell is another post-apocalyptic book, taking place after the rise of zombies and the fall of civilization. Civilization survives in meager enclaves, protecting themselves against the zombies just beyond their scraps of life. It focuses on a young, 15 year old girl called Temple, who can’t remember a time before the zombies but she does know how to survive. Painting an intimate portrait of loneliness, the book showcases Temple’s journey across the blighted earth, moving between civilization and the frontier beyond as she searches for a place she can call home.

 

2. ‘The Rising’ by Brian Keene

 

Image via Amazon

 

The Rising by Brian Keene is a highly regarded, beloved zombie novel that debuted in 2003 and has had heavy acclaim every since. It tells of a father’s desperate search for his young son against impossible odds, as he journeys across the zombie infested earth, alongside a preacher and a recovering heroin addict. They travel from town to town, city to city, and battling against zombies, his fellow man, and the elements. Full of horror, increasing intensity, and a desperate will to survive, this is a novel full of hope against impossible odds.

 

1. ‘World war Z’ by Max Brooks

 

Image Via Amazon

 

World War Z by Max Brooks is probably THE zombie novel.World War Z manages to scare readers with its plausibility, as it sounds like a zombie apocalypse that could actually happen. Brooks’ gritty zombie novel shows what would happen in a post war culture when zombies are involved, and the unforgiving brutality of it all hits close to home. Told from multiple points of view and showcasing what a global pandemic would look like, the book is full of scares, chilling moments, and showcasing a world that has lived through an apocalyptic event.

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Tor.com

Top Three Frankenstein Memes

Did you ever drop out of school to create unnatural life? No? Then live vicariously through Victor Frankenstein, a totally real and not unethical doctor!

Treat the invention of science fiction with exactly none of the reverence it deserves, and feast your eyes (stolen or not) on these Frankenstein memes.

 

1. For the Pedant in Your Life

 

 Image via Know Your Meme

 

Oh, so the ‘Doctor’ didn’t give his child his name? Sure, a first name would have been polite, but at the very least, can’t we call him Monster Frankenstein, son of Victor Frankenstein? I’m just saying, just because Vicky doesn’t bother, doesn’t mean they’re not both Frankensteins. And as the ever quotable John Mulaney says, “just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting”. Next time someone tells you the monster’s name wasn’t Frankenstein, tell them any of this. Or strangle them. (Don’t do that).

 

 

2. When You Misunderstand the Instructions… Pretty Badly

 

Image via ImgFlip

 

I mean, sure. He definitely didn’t do what they had in mind. Definitely. But can he really be disqualified? He definitely built a stronger body, no one said it had to be his own. Somebody check the fine print. Anyone who’s ever had their homework handed back because they did the assignment just completely wrong will relate. Do we think this is the secret reason he left school? They told him to write an essay on human organs and he brought in a bunch of organs with writing on them? I’m just saying, maybe take it easy, man.

 

 

3. An Actual John Mulaney Meme This Time

Image via Tumblr

 

I swear I didn’t plan this. But  we’ve had a lot of these no/yes, broke/woke meme formats, and I consider this a good addition to the art form. And I mean… it’s true. I’m not a parent, so maybe I shouldn’t be shaming anyone for their methods, but I think in this case foresight is as accurate as hindsight would be. Like…Do not follow the doctor’s lead on this. Plus, have you ever tried to learn French? The hyphens alone make ME have nervous fevers, and he did it in one year. Whether he’s a monster may be in question, but either way he’s an absolute beast.

 

 

 

Featured image via Memebase