There are so many spectacular Jane Austen quotes it’s hard to choose just three, but they’re not all just deep or wise or about marriage and life (or at least, not only those things). Some of them are actually the sickest burns I’ve ever seen in my life.
That is an incredibly metal way to talk about someone who died at sea. My god. Austen doesn’t get enough credit for totally demolishing people. These are not just cozy period pieces. Things get REAL. This is only like half the quote, too. She reads this guy straight through six feet and a coffin. He might not be good for much, but at least we got this devastating burn out of it.
What’s that Mr. Darcy? I don’t seem to understand you. Get rekt. Elizabeth is actually pretty polite. At least compared to Anne. I’m not sure there’s any outdoing her. Elizabeth is scathing though, and whatever she lacks in outright insults she certainly makes up for in getting her point across. There are many ways to offend.
Image via Duke University Libraries, quote via GoodReads
Be smug, readers. I guess this isn’t THAT bold of a statement, since people who DON’T enjoy novels aren’t likely to be reading Austen, but it’s also really extreme. “Intolerably stupid?” I mean, it’s not like I’m saying she’s completely wrong. I’m just saying. Those are READERS, Jane. Something something character development. If you didn’t like Northanger Abbey I guess this is why.
Pride and Prejudice has plenty of iconic moments, especially between Elizabeth and Darcy. Their interest, hostility, and insults make for some of the book’s best scenes, and between movie adaptations and the staples of the art form, they’ve also generated a lot of quality memes.
When her family shows a lack of propriety:
Image via Pintrest
We’ve all experienced conflicted feelings, but just maybe not on this level. Your family sucks! Marry me! Figure yourself out, man. He’s kind of a mess, but who isn’t? Anyway, it’s one of the things we love about him.
When people just don’t get you:
Image via MEME
Classic Darcy. Of course, he does grow as a person, but damned if he isn’t pretty sure of himself in the beginning. The man’s too cool to dance at a wedding. Then again, Elizabeth might judge the things he says, and rightly so, but it’s not like she was dancing either.
When someone is just…. SO wrong:
Image via Pintrest
Our Elizabeth is a busy woman, with plenty of hobbies and plenty of suitors to reject, but sometimes correcting people has to take priority. We’ve all been there, and he probably said he doesn’t like the oxford comma too.
When your nemesis confesses their love:
Image via Pintrest
Love? In this guy’s heart? It’s more likely than you think. No one sees it coming though, and certainly not Elizabeth. Of course, our girl isn’t down for long, and her rejection is maybe the most brutal and specific in literary history, but for a second there she’s just… who?
When you didn’t notice something for a really long time:
Image via MEME
We can all be a bit oblivious sometimes. Maybe not “fail to notice when someone’s in love with us” oblivious, but you know. Besides, Darcy’s so contrary all the time, could anyone tell how he felt? The man is his own worst enemy.
“It’s about women and men being unapologetically them, just having a good-ass time, hyping up their friends, doing you.”
And that’s really all there is to it. Hot girl summer is about exuding confidence, and helping those around you love themselves in turn.
Now, which literary heroines deserve to strut their stuff and throw it in a circle all night this summer?
Wow, I’m so glad you asked.
1. Fleur Delacour
Image via Pottermore
Fleur deserved better. There I said it.
By the end of all the Harry Potter books, Fleur is married to Bill Weasley and the couple have three children together. That’s all well and good, but I feel like Fleur never got the chance to reach her full potential as the enchanting siren of temptation that her introduction in Goblet of Fire makes her out to be.
Plus, Ginny calls her ‘Phlegm.’ And that’s just not very nice at all.
2. Bella Swan
Image via Fanpop
Bella Swan is easily one of the most hated characters in literary history. But if you look past the painful internalized misogyny, and the general blandness, what’s left to hate?
The fact that she has a hot vampire boyfriend, and you don’t?
Jealousy is a disease, sweetie, get well soon!
3. Helen of Troy
Image via Entity Mag
Helen of Troy is a very well known facet of Greek mythology, and has been written about thousands of times. However, in pretty much anything you read about her, she’s a boss.
She caused a 10 year war, and the deaths of over ten thousand men, just by being the hottest hottie in all of ancient Greece. That’s some real hot girl stuff (I’m, sadly, not allowed to swear).
4. Janie Crawford
Image via Pinterest
Janie Crawford is the main character in Zora Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching Godand, as a black woman living in North America during the early 1900’s, she suffers at the hands of almost every person she meets.
But, as we witness her life story, we see Janie’s liberation from the dictations of society. She bravely opposes those who try to limit her identity to her sex or race, and comes out the other side with the sense of self that had once been taken from her.
Maybe hot girl summer is when the pear trees blossom…
5. Lisbeth Salander
Image via Los Angeles Times
Lisbeth Salander is similar to Janie Crawford in terms of the abuse she has suffered. And like Janie Crawford, Lisbeth seeks to defy those who have hurt her.
Hot girl summer is about loving yourself, and I think exposing a serial murderer and rapist after suffering through sexual assault yourself certainly falls under the proverbial self-love umbrella.
But now it’s summer, baby! Time to shed that cowboy cardigan, make your way down the mountainside, and dip your toes in the warm sand!
Wendy is newly single and ready to mingle with a man who loves kids and HATES wielding axes.
7. Katniss Everdeen
Image via Forbes
Katniss is one of the first characters to come to mind when thinking of badass heroines, and that alone gets her a spot on this list.
Plus, if you’ve read Mocking Jay, you know that things get -erm- literally hot for Katniss… She’s earned a little time to relax and let her braid down.
8. daenerys targaryen
Image via The Hollywood Reporter
Okay, I’ll confess. I’ve never read or seen Game of Thrones. Sue me. I’ve included Daenerys based on the research I’ve done about her character, but I won’t pretend to be an expert.
Instead of making an argument that might fall flat on the ears of dedicated fans, I’ll turn to this quote (I also don’t really know if this quote is a spoiler, proceed with caution):
“Do you know what kept me standing through all those years in exile? Faith. Not in any gods. Not in myths and legends. In myself. In Daenerys Targaryen. The world hadn’t seen a dragon in centuries until my children were born. The Dothraki hadn’t crossed the sea. Any sea. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms, and I will.”
9. Nancy Drew
Image via TVLine
Nancy Drew is an icon in every sense of the word. I don’t think anyone says it quite like my personal lord and savior, Shangela;
“Figure it out like Nancy Drew/Catch up quick like, Halleloo!/Who gon’ check me boo?/Not you!/I’m a pro!”
She’s smart and she knows it, and that is some real hot girl crap (is ‘crap’ any better than ‘stuff’?)
10. Elizabeth Bennet
Image via 8Tracks
Okay, now it’s real hot girl hours. Possibly the most iconic hot girl of them all. Maybe the hottest of all the girls.
Elizabeth Bennet has all the men around town tripping over their heels in a rush to propose. She gets to turn down two proposals, and when someone asks her to refuse the next one she decides to say yes.
Having emotional depth, a complex psyche, and enough self respect to listen to your heart and do things on your own terms? That’s some real hot girl-ness (I’m sorry).
Devastating news broke this weekend: Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus have separated. While the 29-year-old actor spends time with his brother, Thor, in Australia, Miley seems to be having the time of her life as she spends her days with blogger Kaitlynn Carter.
Image Via Metro
Their rocky on-again, off-again relationship seemed to get steady once the two got married, but now it seems they’ve split up for good. It’s a sad day indeed.
“You don’t understand what it’s like,” Liam told Daily Mail Australia when asked about the split. “I don’t want to talk about it, mate.”
Image Via MSN
Any breakup is bad, it leaves both parties plagued with questions of ‘What If’, and as we sit on the sidelines we can’t help but feel a little sorry for both actors. So while Hemsworth and Cyrus pick up the pieces, here are 6 books we can cry into.
What might be John Green’s magnum opus, The Fault in Our Stars tells a beautiful love story about two young people who, against the odds, find love.
We have precious Hazel Crace Lancaster, a 16-year-old girl with thyroid cancer who falls in love with 17-year-old Augustus Waters, a cancer survivor who seems too good to be true. Is he all he seems to be, or will he breaks this young girl’s heart?
Image Via IMDB
The ultimate answer is ‘yes’ to both questions. August is all he seems to be and his love for Grace and her love for him shows that while life be cruel and give us a bad hand every once and a while, it can also be beautiful.
Want to cry your heart out? Or are you crying too many years already? Don’t worry! We have others picks and all you need to do is scroll down.
You won’t cry tears when reading this novel. Well, you might, but they will be tears of joy. Tears at the hilarious depiction of manners gone overboard, tears at the idea that marriage is all you need, and tears when Elizabeth Bennet finally convinces her father the difference between superficial goodness and actual goodness.
Image Via The Imaginative Conservative.org
Elizabeth Bennet marries who she wants to in the end, and he, against the odds loves her back. It’s a story about how love finds a way and, if it’s not meant to be, it won’t happen.
I’m crying already.
Don’t like this old book? Is the writing style too strange and foreign to you? Well, our next pick might be far more inclined with your modern tastes.
Twilight. Read the first book, get addicted, read the other three. It’s a story about a hot and cold romance (like Liam and Miley) that ultimately leads to marriage.
You know what happens next? It’s so beautiful, so wonderful…
They stay together and have a beautiful child!
Image Via Dorkly
And you know what happens to Jacob, that wonderful werewolf who was in love with Bella but she wasn’t in love with him? It doesn’t in tragedy, no, it ends with him imprinted on her child, ultimately proving that even if you breakup with someone you still have a chance to take care of their child and be apart of their life.
Now I know what you’re thinking: Why the Shining? Well, if you think the multiple breakups between Liam and Miley are bad, here’s a book that says ‘it could be worse’.
Now most of you have seen the film adaptation and I’m here to tell you the book is totally different. For one, Jack doesn’t go after his family with an ax, he goes after them with roque mallet!
Image Via Varagesale
Also instead of Jack trying to murder his wife and child and ultimately freezing to death, in the book he stops trying to kill his wife and child and instead scarifies himself by going after the ghosts which leads to him being simultaneously burnt and blown up!
Image Via the13thFloor
So if you think Liam and Miley’s breakup is the worst thing that could happen, well, we could have frozen/burned to death.
This book shows that even after a break-up, things can still be beautiful.
Meet Lucy. She and her boyfriend broke up nine years ago but she’s still picking the pieces. Nothing is going well. Tinder is filled with “douche bros” and the sea outside the Los Angeles home where she’s dog-sitting only shows her how lost and empty she is.
Image Via RedletterDays.co.uk
But then Lucy becomes entranced by an eerily attractive swimmer named Theo. He is a merman, and things only get weirder from there.
The Pisces is not only swimming with dark humor (standout lines include “As we kissed I imagined eating his tail with garlic butter and “the tail starts below the dick”), it proves that life, like the ocean, continues on and on even after the worst of tides.
As we cry over this sudden and unexpected breakup, there will come a time when we have to say enough is enough. But we might need some help in admitting that, so maybe we should open up and cry into this inspiring self-help novel by Oprah Winfrey.
Image Via The Guardian
Here, our Book Club Queen details the journey toward making your life both successful and meaningful, no matter how many breakups you or the people you care about go through. With ten easy-to-read chapters, this book helps you get teaches you key lessons for you to create the best course for their life. But that’s not all! Filled with Oprah’s own personal stories, this book helps to remind you that life might just have more to offer than you know!
Need focus after this heart-shattering break-up? This book is the one for you!
Everyone likes an adaptation, and sometimes the best adaptations are underground. Here are seven picks from YouTube, perfect for marathoning, all based on classic novels and set in the modern era. No matter whether you’re a fan of Jane Austin, William Shakespeare, or Charlotte Bronte, there’s something for every classic book lover. Watch away!
If you like Much Ado About Nothing, get ready for Nothing Much to Do, an adaptation from New Zealand in vlog format, this time set at Messina High. All the accusations, the threats, and a few serenades on ukulele, this modern adaptation has all the humor and hatred you love, while also featuring a plastic flamingo. A must watch.
Fans of Jane Eyre will appreciate the tragedy and measured pace of Autobiography of Jane Eyre. Filmed as a video diary, this series follows nursing student Jane as she leaves school, becomes a governess, and falls for the master of the house. Covering all the original beats of the story with inventiveness and heart, it has all the Gothic appeal of the original. Plus Adele is cute.
A classic, and for good reason. Thorough plotting, well paced character development, and silly costumes make this series compulsively watchable. Elizabeth is very much herself, lovable, judgmental, caring—Jane is sweet and decisive, Kitty is an actual cat, and Lydia is gleeful and wild. Set in California, Lizzie is a grad student with no interest in marriage—much to her mother’s chagrin.
Seriously, this web series is good. I’m not joking. You might say I’m Earnest, but honestly, who isn’t? Oscar Wilde’s classic is reimagined probably exactly as he would have wanted it—with everyone confused and overdressed. At just fifty episodes, it’s an excellent binge watch, and relatable, at least if you’ve ever wondered how to propose to someone you’ve given a false name.
In this adaptation, Emma runs a PR firm with her brother-in-law, George Knightly. Some great parties, some terrible decisions, and outrageous confidence make this a fun and lighthearted series, despite any low moments. Fans of Austin will be thrilled, and if you’re not yet obsessed, you will be.
If you can’t wait to return to Green Gables—or visit for the first time—Green Gables Fables is a delightful and heartwarming take on the classic story. Never discouraged, Anne’s passion and creativity make this series sing, and even at one-hundred-fifty episodes (the longest on this list), it seems too short.
This adaptation of Shakespeare’s classic tragedy may have slightly less murder, but it has just as much tragedy as the original. The clash between two warring fraternities reaches new heights. Even with a lower mortality rate, this is still a tear jerker, so be warned. It’s also the shortest series on this list, with only twenty-one episodes.