Tag: New York Times

Lack Of Guidelines To Intimacy: ‘Boys and Sex’

The dreaded ten to twelve-year-old gap where every child becomes curious about their bodies. Feelings begin to arise that weren’t there before, and it seemed as though there was no one to talk to about it. Why is that? Parents have become very distraught with the thought of having a conversation about sex. So much so, that they would rather poke themselves in the eye with a fork. So, then who do we turn to when all else fails? The media of course.

 

Image Via OverDrive

 

Peggy Orenstein’s Boys and Sex, a spin-off from her 2016 Girls and Sex, discusses the in-depth interview that she had with more than 100 college and college-bound boys, and young men on what it takes to be a man. Orenstein discovers that most parents with teenage boys between the ages of seventeen to twenty-two haven’t had the talk about intimacy with their sons. Leaving boys and young men to revert to media for their source of reference, porn. With these distorted ideas of intimacy, these young men find it hard stay away from, as Orenstein puts it, “channeling 1955…still all about stoicism, sexual conquest, dominance, aggression.”

 

Image Via Pacific Standard

 

It’s sad to say but society has made it so that boys aren’t allowed to speak about their emotions and become vulnerable, leaving them fearful of being judged. They have been forced to train themselves to suppress their feelings, except for happiness and anger. This, ultimately, has led many young men to coin the phrase #nohomo for basic human emotions in order to express themselves without being accused of being gay.

 

 

However, it doesn’t stop there. There is also a thin line between being respectful towards a woman and being apart of the “Bro Culture”.

Much like the guidelines for intimacy, young men have not been allotted the opportunity to know what that means. It has come to a point where being respectful to a woman is more of a statement than a guideline. Within the “Bro Culture”, there is little room for any man to stand up or speak up for a girl or young woman without being judged for doing so. Good Morning America praised Orenstein’s book for how it navigates sexuality and masculinity in today’s world, stating that, “Many boys end up going along with things even when they feel like their male peers are being inappropriate.

 

Image Via Teens LoveToKnow

 

The term hookup has been distorted as well. If you don’t know what a hookup is, neither does the rest of the world. Unlike other terms in the young adult language, hookups have more than one meaning. It can mean anything from kissing, oral sex, intercourse, and more. Many of these ‘hookups’ in college can mean any one of those three categories. Due to the broadness of the meaning, there can be expectations for more than what a situation calls for, causing more pressure to go a step further than wanted.

 

Image Via thetrentonline.com

 

Through her conversation with these young men, Orenstein found it surprising to know that gay boys and young men are more open to having conversations about sex with their partners. What makes it so surprising is not because they necessarily have to, but because these group of men are in tune with gaining the consent of their partner. Having this conversation with your partner about what they are into “will be a more mutually gratifying experience for everyone involved.”

 

Orenstein, throughout Boys and Sex, dives deeper into the minds of young men on their definitions of what it takes to be a man. She makes sure to do the same in her previous book Girls and Sex, creating a balancing dynamic of what it is like to be either sex.

 

Featured Image Via Parent.com

 


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“Despair Makes Us Fall and a Fall Makes Us Laugh”

The Crying Book isn’t sad. This New York Times Bestseller explores tears in a very original way; the author doesn’t follow a linear path, but reflects on crying and its origins in small, isolated, almost stanzaic paragraphs. This book is a historical, philosophical, existential probe into who, what, how, and why humans (and animals) cry. Heather Christle draws from historical and personal resources in order to weave together an intimate and educational book.

image via amazon

 

One of the beautiful and poetic ideas the author lands on in the book is that tears don’t necessarily fall. Or they do, and the words tears and fall always have this marriage of sorts, she insists. She goes on to talk about babies, (she’s pregnant,) and that for babies, to fall is primal, natural; she quotes Homer, who says it’s natural for us as babies to fall “from the knees of our mother.” She goes on to state: “On the moon, where the astronaut Alan Shepherd cried, gravity exerts one-sixth of the force it does on earth. Tears fall, but more slowly, like snow.” She goes on to state that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong didn’t cry, or at least Armstrong’s tears did not fall. “Back in the Lunar Module, Aldrin photographed Armstrong with wet eyes. Would tears have dropped had they been here on Earth?”

Image via Madly Odd

There are several passages dedicated to the elephant, for the elephant is a grieving beast, known to mourn for days to months to over a lifetime if a child or family member has passed. Christle writes specifically about a hunter who shoots an elephant specifically to make the animal suffer, but the elephant withstands the cruel hunter’s torture and only sheds a few tears the second before he finally does pass away. In this case, it appears the animal only cried out of physical pain. We humans are a cruel race, but Christle mentions there are moths, too, “Mabre Elephantophila”, who feed on Elephant tears by scratching at their eyes—humans aren’t the only ones to make Elephants cry.

 

Other interesting facts: did you know Shirley Temple could cry on cue? As long as it was before lunch. One director did not know any of this and in order to make her cry told Shirley her mother had been kidnapped. Needless to say, he got a big finger-wagging from Shirley’s mother after learning of his deception. As for Shirley’s crying rule, she said, “crying is too hard after lunch.”

Christle makes it clear that there are perils to a white woman crying on and on. To be serious for a moment, the term “White Tears” means tears “which are shed by a white person who has been made suddenly aware of systemic racism, or her own implication within white supremacy.  They can be a form of defense against an imagined aggression, a way of shutting down a conversation…” Christle goes on to say that these kinds of tears are dangerous. “I do not want to redeem those tears. I want to read them for what they are and I want to read beyond them.”

Image via MaNdyBrasher

On a somewhat ridiculous note, did you know there are hotels in Japan where you can rent rooms just to cry? Did you also know, if you have the money, you can pay men to wipe away your tears? Some churches have crying rooms. There is also something called lachryphagy, which is the act of drinking tears, though I think that’s reserved for butterflies, moths, etc.

Another fact from the book: men and women often cry on planes. A survey found that 41 percent of men hide it by literally covering their face with a blanket while women pretend they have something in their eye.

 

The Book of Crying is full and ripe with rare facts but also filled with beautiful stories about the author’s personal journey through her ups and downs until she is diagnosed with cyclothymia, a lesser form of Bipolar Disorder. Again, she’s also pregnant throughout and gives birth towards the middle of the book. A lot is going on! The book is a tapestry of history, knowledge; it can be dark but then comes back up with funny musings over Yahoo!Answers, and sentences like, “despair makes us fall and a fall makes us laugh. Why?”

I can’t answer the question, I think it answers itself.


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Featured image via Mental Floss 

Pulitzer Prize-Winning Reporter and Author Tony Horwitz Dies at 60

Author, historian and reporter Tony Horwitz passed away on Monday after suddenly collapsing while on his book tour. The Vineyard Gazette was the first to report that the author died at the age of sixty.

 

Image Via Twitter

 

Born on June 6th 1958, Horwitz is a well-renowned reporter who used to work for The Wall Street Journal. His reporting on the devastating working conditions of low-wage jobs won him the Pulitzer Prize in 1995.

Horwitz was also well-known for his non-fiction books. One of his most popular works is Confederates In The Attic, where he travels across different states to chronicle the lives of Civil War re-enactors. The bulk of his writing blends past and present together to help talk about the current issues we face today.

 

Image Via Amazon

 

His latest book was Spying on the South: An Odyssey Across The American Divide. It traces the legacy of Frederick Law Olmsted, a reporter for the up-and-coming New York Times who goes undercover in the deep South to document the lives of Southerners. The book fused Olmsted’s work with Horwitz’s own travels across the country in order to make sense of our polarized political climate. He was scheduled to read an excerpt from the book at the Politics and Prose bookstore in Washington today.

Image Via The Wall Street Journal

 

 

He is survived by his wife, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Geraldine Brooks who won the award for her novel March, which tells the story of Little Women through the point-of-view of the absent father Mr. March.

 

 

Featured Image Via Martha’s Vineyard Magazine

New York Magazine’s ‘The Stolen Kids of Sarah Lawrence’ to Be Adapted

The New York magazine cover story, The Stolen Kids of Sarah Lawrence, is being adapted thanks to the  Jason Blum and Mark Walhberg.

Larry Ray

Larry Ray | Image Via The Cut

For those unaware, the New York Times cover story was written by Ezra Marcus and James D. Walsh. It tells of the story of Larry Ray, who went to stay with hid daughter at Sarah Lawrence College after being released from prison. With political connections and violent streak, Larry Ray began methodically manipulating his daughter’s classmates, gradually taking control of their lives.

The events escalated into Ray abusing the students. In the end, Ray was found out, but many of the students began praise him in court for how he turned their lives around.

 

 

Blumhouse Productions Logo

Image Via TVOvermind

The Hollywood Reporter broke the story about how this real-life horror has been picked up by Jason Blum’s Blumhouse Productions.

Jason Blum

Image Via IndieWire

This is a powerhouse studio and Jason Blum has been involved in a multitude of films from Paranormal Activity, The Purge, Halloween, Get Out, and most recently Us.

Now Jason Blum will be produce alongside “…Wahlberg and Stephen Levinson through the duo’s Closest to the Hole Productions”.

Stephen Levinson

Image Via Hollywood Reporter

Stephen Levinson is a television producer whose worked on Entourage and served as an executive producer on the Wahlburgers television show as well as fifty-six episodes of Boardwalk Empire.

Mark Wahlberg

Image Via Time Magazine

On the other side is Mark Wahlberg, known for his staring role in The Fighter, The Departed, Boogie Nights, and many more. Before his acting career took off, he was rapper Marky Mark in the Funky Bunch.

Wahlberg and Levinson
Image Via Hollywood Reporter

 

Last year, Wahlberg and Levinson’s Closest to the Hole produced Paramount’s  comedy Instant Family and the action movie Mile 22, both of which starred Wahlberg.

Right now its unknown if the story will be adapted into a feature film or a limited series, although we could totally picture Mark Wahlberg showing off his acting chops as the emotionally abusive father.

In the mean time, The Stolen Kids of Sarah Lawrence is available to be read in its entirely here.

 

Featured Image Via The Cut

The 2019 Pulitzer Prize Winners Have Been Announced!

The winners of the 2019 Pulitzer Prize winners have been announced and it looks let the winners knocked it out of the park. Best fiction was won by The Overstory by Richard Powers, drama was won by Fairview by Jackie Sibblies Drury, biography by The New Negro: The Life of Alain Locke by Jeffrey Stewart, and nonfiction was won by Amity and Prosperity: One Family and the Fracturing of America by Eliza Griswold. The awards represent strength of diversity for the winner, with the books covering black history, the American Dream, the fracturing of ideals, activism, and more. Further awards included prizes for The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal.

 

A picture of the Pulitzer Prize

Image Via Columbia News

Here is the full list of winners:

Editorial cartooning

Darrin Bell, a freelance cartoonist

Breaking-news photography

Photography staff of Reuters

Feature photography

Lorenzo Tugnoli of The Washington Post

Special citation

Staff of the Capital Gazette

BOOKS, DRAMA AND MUSIC

Fiction

The Overstory by Richard Powers

Drama

Fairview by Jackie Sibblies Drury

History

Frederick Douglass by David W. Blight

Biography or autobiography

The New Negro by Jeffrey C. Stewart

Poetry

“Be With” by Forrest Gander

General nonfiction

“Amity and Prosperity” by Eliza Griswold

Music

“p r i s m” by Ellen Reid

Special citation

Aretha Franklin

Congratulations to all the winners!

 

 

Featured Image Via The Washington Post