Tag: Monsters

8 of Literature Worst Monsters (Who weren’t all that bad)

Who are literature’s worst monsters, but aren’t actually all that bad? Who has a silver lining that we can look into? Who are the almost monsters of literature that are almost terrible but not quite?

Let’s find out!

 

 

8-Vernon Dursley

Vernon Dursley

Image Via Cat and Ellie’s Bookcase – WordPress.com

 

At least Umbridge told Harry the truth! At least she told him that he shouldn’t lie!

Not only did this pig in a human suit lie to Harry, but he abused him since he was a BABY. He’s not even magical.

Objectively, of all the characters from the Harry Potter series, Vernon Dursley is just the worse. He’s human, so we can judge him as much as we want, for keeping a baby in a closet under the stairs for ELEVEN YEARS. Voldemort had the decency to try and kill Harry, Umbridge at least spoke in a nice voice, but Vernon just yelled at him, smacked him around, lied about his parents, and threw him under a closet for ELEVEN YEARS.

To make matters worse, no one called the cops. At least Petunia kept the blanket Harry came in when he was a baby.

At least Umbridge told Harry the truth! At least she told him that he shouldn’t lie!

Voldemort had the decency to try and kill Harry, Umbridge at least spoke in a nice voice, but this pig in a human suit just yelled at him, smacked him around, lied about his parents. At least Aunt Petunia kept the blanket Harry came in when he was a baby. Of all the characters in the Harry Potter series, he’s not even magical, but he’s certainly one of the worse.

OR IS HE?

Horcruxes can influence those around them and Voldemort made one out of Harry. Thus the Dursleys’ dislike of him was exacerbated by Voldemort’s magic.

 

J K Rowling
Image Via Parade

 

Granted, J K Rowling said this:

James was amused by Vernon, and made the mistake of showing it. Vernon tried to patronise James, asking what car he drove. James described his racing broom.

Vernon supposed out loud that wizards had to live on unemployment benefit. James  explained about Gringotts, and the fortune his parents had saved there, in solid gold.

Vernon could not tell whether he was being made fun of or not, and grew angry. The evening ended with Vernon and Petunia storming out of the restaurant, while Lily burst into tears and James (a little ashamed of himself) promised to make things up with Vernon at the earliest opportunity.

Either way, Vernon might not be as bad we thought he is (though he’s still pretty terrible)

 

7-Moby Dick

Moby Dick

Image Via Public Radio International

 

The titular character from Moby Dick, at the end of the day, is a WHALE. It has no concept of good of evil, it’s just a big whale.

 

Captain Ahab

Image Via The Guardian

 

Captain Ahab is the rotten one here. Blame him, not the whale!

 

 

6-Alexandra Finch Hancock

Image result for Aunt Alexandra
Image Via To Kill A Mocking Bird.com

 

While not the worse character in To Kill a Mocking Bird (the real monster is Bob Ewell), Aunt Alexandra is a racist piece of crap. The formidable matriarch of the Finch family, Aunt Alexandra is the king of woman who wears a corset even under her bathrobe. Before she even comes onto the page, Scout compares her to Mount Everest: “throughout my early life, she was cold and there,” but when she comes on the page she far exceeds our expectations of her.

Bossy, hyper-critical, Aunt Alexandra likes thinks done her way or the highway. Imagine the pressure poor Atticus is under when she targets him, taking umbrage with his client, Tom Robinson, noting that the case might endanger the Finch reputation.

She forgoes human decency because of the family. To her, “what is the best for the family” is more important than the family itself.

Aunt Alexandra, in underlining the moral of young Sam Merriweather’s suicide, said it was caused by a morbid streak in the family. Let a sixteen-year-old girl giggle in the choir and Aunty would say, “It just goes to show you, all the Penfield women are flighty.” Everybody in Maycomb, it seemed, had a Streak: a Drinking Streak, a Gambling Streak, a Mean Streak, a Funny Streak.

She’s obsessed with family streaks, hinting that she believes that the Finches are destined to be superior. In a book about racism, the real reason Aunt Alexandra doesn’t think Atticus should take the case are clear.

She also uses it to beat Scout over the head with.

Oh, yeah, Scout is in her line of sights as well. Scout is a tomboy, Aunt Alexandra is a proper lady, the pinnacle of the South. Thus, Alexandria sets to work trying to quash Scout’s tomboyish tendencies and forge a new identity for her.

Aunt Alexandra’s vision of my deportment involved playing with small stoves, tea sets, and wearing the Add-A-Pearl necklace she gave me when I was born; furthermore, I should be a ray of sunshine in my father’s lonely life.

But it’s not just racism, Aunt Alexandra is also a classist. When Scout wants to play with Walter, a poor boy, Aunt Alexandra:

…took off her glasses and stared at me. “I’ll tell you why,” she said. “Because—he—is—trash, that’s why you can’t play with him. I’ll not have you around him, picking up his habits and learning Lord-knows-what.”

 

Image result for Atticus Finch and Aunt Alexandra
Image Via PInterest

 

However, are we judging her too harshly? Is our picture of her incomplete?

After Tom is killed, family affection that looms largest for Aunt Alexandra, telling Miss Maudie:

“I can’t say I approve of everything he does, Maudie, but he’s my brother, and I just want to know when this will ever end. […] It tears him to pieces”

She’s concerned for her brother, standing by him even when she disagrees with him. Make of that what you will, but at least she’s not Bob Ewell, a man so terrible that I’ll bet when Boo Radley killed him no one in town even batted an eye. Not even his daughters.

 

5-Grendel’s Mother

Image result for Grendel's Mother
Image Via ArtStation

 

Depending on your translation of Beowulf, she is either called Grendel’s mother or Grendel’s dam, but I’d liked to call her Mother-whose-son-had-his-arm-ripped off.

I think we can all sit down and agree that Grendel is a monster. He terrorized a village and Beowulf was in the right in defending the town against that monster, but Grendel’s Mommy isn’t that bad. Her son was returned to their cave mortally wounded, one of his two arms (or claws) ripped from its shoulder socket and now hanging in a mead-hall as a grotesque trophy.

Of course she’s going to be mad. And you know what? Good for her for stealing her son’s arm back. Why’d they even want it so bad?

 

Grendel's Mother decapitated

Image Via PInterest

 

But Beowulf just had to come, invading her home, and decapitating her.

Her motive is human and, from her point-of-view, she’s lived there over a hundred years and was never a problem. She just wanted her son’s arm, but they just had to kill her because she was a monster. As Tyrion once said, “I wish I was the monster you think I am!”

 

 

4-Cholly Breedlove

Image Via Baakari Wilder

 

Pecola Beedlove, a young black girl, is routinely mocked by other children for her physical appearance. The only person to find her desirable is her father.

Cholly Breedlove makes this list. To make a long story short, he abuses his wife, he burns down his family home, and repeatedly rapes his own daughter.

But he’s not quite the evilest character Toni Morrison has ever created. In his one and only appearance in The Bluest Eye, we learn quite enough about him that creates a picture of how abusive is cyclical.

 

Cholly Breedlove

Image Via Youtube

 

Abandoned in a junk heap as a baby, Cholly is taken in by two white men who force him to perform sexually for their amusement. When he finally meets his father, he shits his pants.

Thrown in a world where people abuse him, Cholly grows up into a man who doesn’t care about life. He’s free, but he cannot love or be loved. He does what he wants, uncaring for what happens him.

He rapes his daughter to remind himself that he is alive. He rapes her to feel the pain he felt as a child because that’s all he knows. He’s a monster made from monsters who tries to make his own daughter into a monster, all the time thinking ‘monster’ is synonymous with ‘human.’

 

3-Jaime Lannister

Jaime Lannister
Image Via A Wiki of Ice and Fire – Westeros

 

Kingslayer.

Oathbreaker.

Snobbish, rude, Jaime Lannister is in a relationship with his twin sister, Cersei, making three bastards that are set to become Kings and Queens themselves without the actual King Robert none the wiser. He even throws Bran out a window when he catches him having sex with his sister, crippling the boy.

But do I even need to explain why this character from George R R Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series just isn’t as bad as he sounds?

At the age of fifteen Jaime become the Kingsguard to the Mad King, Aerys II Targaryen. He took an oath to defend the King no matter what, and he broke that oath.

 

Jaime Lannister

Image Via PInterest

 

Yeah, he killed the king, but for two years he witnessed the Mad King’s growing insanity and tendency for burning men alive first hand. One night after burning someone alive, Aerys visited the chambers of his wife and raped her. During this time, Jaime was outside, telling his fellow Kinsguard that they were sworn to protect the queen as well, to which he was told, “but not from him.”

Later, during a rebellion, Aerys devised a plot to burn the entire city to the ground rather than lose it. Upon learning about this plan, the Hand to the King resigned and Aerys burned him alive. Jaime stood back.

When Aerys ordered the city to be burned, Jaime killed everyone involved, including the King, an action which saved the whole city and caused them to hate Jaime for breaking his oath. Even after he was pardoned, even Jon Snow, who “[knows] nothing,” notes that “[t]hey called him the Lion of Lannister to his face and whispered ‘Kingslayer’ behind his back.”

 

2-The Wicked Witch of the west

The Wicked Witch of the West

Image Via THe Vintage News

 

Don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t judge a witch by their name. Plus, odds are this witch only chose the name because of the alliteration. Ignoring the film adaptation and the musical and book the musical is based on, the original Frank L Baum book introduced her only when some magician tells Dorothy to murder her.

Taking the film into consideration, however, the Wicked Witch is still sympathetic. Dorothy murdered her sister, dropping a house on her head, and then her sister’s body disintegrated. The last thing the Witch has to remember her sister by is a pair of shoes, which Dorothy can’t give her and Glinda refuses to take off her feet.

 

Wicked

Image Via IMDB

 

Imagine if your sibling was murdered and the murderer had their prized heirloom on their feet, refusing to give it you because they didn’t like you. And why doesn’t Dorothy try to talk to the Witch? Is it because she’s Green?

The Witch was in the right. She might not have gone about it the right way, but Dorothy is a murderer hanging out with a discount iron man, a scarecrow (don’t give him any fear toxin), and a lion.

Plus, Wicked, both book and musical changed our minds about this Witch.

 

 

1-The SharkJaws

Image Via Amazon

 

IT’S A SHARK! It has no concept of good of evil, just food and hunger. Both in the Peter Benchley novel and the Steven Spielberg film, it is a big hungry shark.

 

Image Via MovieFanFare

 

The mayor should have closed the beaches. Blame him (or the mob), not the shark.

 

 

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Decider

5 Spooky Commercials Staring Stephen King

Stephen King once said, “Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn’t carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life,” which is a little strange seeing as he has starred in commercials.

Oh well. Books are better, but these commercials starring the King himself are still gold.

 

 

5-Creepshow TV Spot

Teaming up with the master of zombies, George Romero, Stephen King makes his screenwriting debut in this 1982 horror comedy anthology, Creepshow. With five stories, plus a prologue and epilogue, this film features a whole host of stars.

Heads up! Stephen King appears in “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verill” as Jordy Verrill himself.

Check out the trailer below! Can you spot the King of horror in this movie directed by the king of zombies?

 

 

4-Libraries

Stephen King says we should go to our local libraries. They have many things, like music, televisions, computers, and books. It’s a timeless message, although their many extraneous features might not be so ‘unique’ anymore.

By the by, this commercial seems it might be setting up the premise for his next book, ‘Scary Author Lives in the Library and Makes Weird Faces at People’.

 

 

3-BOO! says the Ghost Writer

Sports Center advertises, but here they pull back the curtain and reveal their ‘ghost writer.’ He’s not an actual ghost, he’s Stephen King!

Please don’t be a ghost, your highness Mr. King. Sports Center was wrong, we need players with telekinetic powers.

 

 

2-“I just wanted someone to do stephen king right”

Here’s a commercial for an adaptation that he directed. It’s the first, and only film, he’s ever directed. As King himself said, he was on cocaine. In Hollywood’s Stephen KingKing says he was “coked out of [his] mind all through its production, and [he] really didn’t know what [he] was doing.”

Well, in the commercial he says that Maximum Overdrive, “It was my first picture as a director, and you know something? I sort of enjoyed it!”

This movie caused the cinematographer to go blind in his right eye.

 

 

1-The Horror! I lost my American Express card!

This commercial… has nothing to do with a book. It’s just how he really likes American Express. The most unnerving part about this commercial is how Stephen King takes it so seriously and the narrator is just a normal commercial narrator.

 

 

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Youtube

The Top Ten Best Dragon Books in Fantasy Literature!

They’re big and terrible. They’re small and cute. They’re at once terrifying and majestic. Dragons have been an enduring fixation of literature pretty much ever since storytelling was invented. They can take many forms in narrative, from simple monsters to evil but intelligent villains to helpful allies to god-like divine beings. But one thing is clear: dragons are awesome and they’re extremely fun to read about. Here are the top 10 best books featuring these fire-breathing behemoths, showcasing dragons of every shape and size in all their glory for your viewing pleasure.

10. ‘Tea with the Black Dragon’ by R.A. MacAvoy

 

image via Amazon

Tea with the Black Dragon by R.A. MacAvoy is a Hugo nominated fantasy novel that has a classic premise: girl meets boy and boy turns about to be a dragon. Martha’s daughter, Elizabeth, is in trouble in San Francisco and Martha hurries into the strange city to help her missing child. But when she arrives, the only person who knows where Elizabeth might be is the mysterious stranger Mayland Long. Did we mention Mr. Long can transform into a dragon? Its up to these two to find Elizabeth, even as Martha begins to feel romantic feelings for her newfound dragon companion.

 

9. ‘Three hearts and three lions’ by Poul Anderson

Image via Amazon

Three Hearts and Three Lions by Poul Anderson tells of a man transported into a world of fantasy. Holger Carlsten is a Resistance fighter fighting against the Nazis during World War II but when he’s wounded in battle, the luckless engineer finds himself transported to another world. Against a medieval backdrop, he finds himself in a battle where the forces of Law fight against Chaos. Monsters abound this land, including werewolves, giants, trolls, faeries, and yes: dragons. Revered as a Champion, Holger must take up arms and join the brave knights, ready to slay some dragons (alongside other fearsome beasts) as the leader of the forces of Law.

8. ‘His Majesty’s Dragon’ by Naomi Novik 

Image via amazon

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik tells a historically accurate account of the Napoleonic Wars, with an added twist: dragons! Yes, this is an alternate history novel where dragons are used as the main force of combat, adding a thrilling new element to the tides of war sweeping Europe. When Captain Will Laurence finds an unhatched dragon egg, his life is turned upside down when the dragon hatches and imprints on him. Joining the Aerial Corps, Laurence and his dragon, Temeraine, must take to the skies to defend Britain from France’s own dragon armies.

 

7. ‘The Great Zoo of China’ by Matthew Reilly 

Image via Amazon 

The Great Zoo of China by Matthew Reilly is basically Jurassic Park but with dragons! For years, China has been keeping the existence of live dragons a secret but is preparing to unveil them to the world is the first ever dragon zoo. A small group of V.I.P.s are brought into the zoo to see the beasts first hand and inspect the safety of the place. Because, surely, nothing can go wrong? Right? Just kidding. Get ready for tons of action and lots of dragon destruction when things spiral out of control.

6. ‘Tooth and Claw’ by Jo Walton

Image via Amazon

Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton is a unique twist on dragon literature. Told from the point of view of dragons themselves, this is a world of politics, family, and relationships but instead of humans, everyone is a dragon. In a society where the weak are literally eaten and the strong thrive as tyrants, this is a story like no other, as it showcases what the reality of a dragon’s world is truly like.

 

5. ‘The Hero and the crown’ by Robin McKinely 

Image via Amazon

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinely is a rich young adult novel full of feminist themes and a terrifying dragon as the main antagonist. Aerin is an outcast in her own kingdom, a woman looked down upon for being rumored to be the spawn of a witch. Determined to earn her birthright, she decides to slay a dragon but modern dragons are a far cry from the terrible beasts of old. They’re just vermin and although certainly formidable, they’re nothing but pests. Until the day a knight rides into the castle and reports the return of a great dragon from the old days. Maur, said to be as big as a mountain, has returned and is ransacking the kingdom. Seeing her chance, Aerin rides off with only her horse as a companion to face Maur and slay him.

 

4. ‘Dragonsbane’ by Barbara Hambly 

Image via Amazon

Dragonsbane by Barbara Hambly focuses on a young prince who must join forces with a retired dragon slayer and a witch who can’t use her magic quite right. Joining forces to form a ragtag dragon slaying “crew”, the trio must journey forth to slay the terrible beast or die trying.

 

3. ‘Dragon Keeper’ by Robin Hobb


Image via Amazon

Dragon Keeper by Robin Hobb tells of a resurgence of dragons into a world that hates and fears them, yet might need them to save it. Telling of a young boy who travels up river to find a dragon egg in order to breed more dragons to defend his land, they find a set of newly hatched but injured baby dragons. With the help of quirky companions, the boy must ferry these dragons their new home across the wilds, with no hope of return but everything riding on his journey back.

 

2. ‘Earthsea’ by Ursula K. Le Guin 

Image via Amazon

Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin needs no introduction. Some of the most acclaimed works in fantasy literature, the world of Earthsea features a unique setting (an island archipelago) and people of color as the protagonists. Dragons are a huge component of the setting, from fearsome Western style monsters to more refined, almost Eastern style of creatures. This is one series that is a classic for a reason and you should dig into for certain, especially as a dragon lover.

1. ‘The Hobbit’ by J.R.R. Tolkien 

image via Amazon

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien began many a person’s love of dragons and fantasy. Bilbo Baggins is a Hobbit who enjoys a comfortable life when he finds himself yanked from his sleepy little town by the wizard Gandalf and a group of dwarves. Together, they set across Middle-earth to seal the great dragon Smaug’s treasure from his lair in the Lonely Mountain. Smaug himself is an inspired creation and the highlight of the book but the rest is a classic adventure tale and one that will surely please any fantasy lover even today!

Featured Image Via LOTR Wiki 

Braaaaains! And Some of the Best Zombie Novels of All Time!

Our culture is obsessed with zombies. The undead plague has caught on in nearly all forms of media: from movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Zombieland), video games (Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising, Dying Light), and television (The Walking Dead, iZombie, Ash vs Evil Dead). And yes, literature too! Our obsession with the undead has created a lot of content, some of it awful but some of it quite good. Let’s have a look at who rises from the grave best, with the best zombie books of all time!

 

 

5. ‘Monster Island’ by David Wellington

 

Image Via Amazon

 

Monster Island by David Wellington takes place a month after the zombie apocalypse, where just a few pockets of humanity are struggling to survive against the horde. The story pairs up a military man with an army of schoolgirls, as they venture into a zombie infested New York City to find the cure for the undead plague. A fast paced, action packed novel with lots of zombie killing while building a fantastic atmosphere with the spooky New York location, this is a great, pulpy read.

 

4. ‘The Girl with all the gifts’ by M.R. Carey

 

Image via Amazon

 

The Girl With All The Gifts is a genre defying, emotionally hefty story that will leave you in tears at the end. The story follows a unique zombie plague (unique in that it’s fungal, not viral or bacterial). And the book takes place 20 years following the initial outbreak, and unfortunately, I can’t tell you much more than that in fear of spoiling it for you. The book has well-written female protagonists that don’t feel rushed or just thrown in for the sake of being there. It’s a uniquely heartfelt zombie book that you won’t be able to put down.

 

 

3. ‘The Reapers Are the Angels’ by Alden Bell

 

Image via Amazon

 

The Reapers Are the Angels by Alden Bell is another post-apocalyptic book, taking place after the rise of zombies and the fall of civilization. Civilization survives in meager enclaves, protecting themselves against the zombies just beyond their scraps of life. It focuses on a young, 15 year old girl called Temple, who can’t remember a time before the zombies but she does know how to survive. Painting an intimate portrait of loneliness, the book showcases Temple’s journey across the blighted earth, moving between civilization and the frontier beyond as she searches for a place she can call home.

 

2. ‘The Rising’ by Brian Keene

 

Image via Amazon

 

The Rising by Brian Keene is a highly regarded, beloved zombie novel that debuted in 2003 and has had heavy acclaim every since. It tells of a father’s desperate search for his young son against impossible odds, as he journeys across the zombie infested earth, alongside a preacher and a recovering heroin addict. They travel from town to town, city to city, and battling against zombies, his fellow man, and the elements. Full of horror, increasing intensity, and a desperate will to survive, this is a novel full of hope against impossible odds.

 

1. ‘World war Z’ by Max Brooks

 

Image Via Amazon

 

World War Z by Max Brooks is probably THE zombie novel.World War Z manages to scare readers with its plausibility, as it sounds like a zombie apocalypse that could actually happen. Brooks’ gritty zombie novel shows what would happen in a post war culture when zombies are involved, and the unforgiving brutality of it all hits close to home. Told from multiple points of view and showcasing what a global pandemic would look like, the book is full of scares, chilling moments, and showcasing a world that has lived through an apocalyptic event.

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Tor.com

Top Three Frankenstein Memes

Did you ever drop out of school to create unnatural life? No? Then live vicariously through Victor Frankenstein, a totally real and not unethical doctor!

Treat the invention of science fiction with exactly none of the reverence it deserves, and feast your eyes (stolen or not) on these Frankenstein memes.

 

1. For the Pedant in Your Life

 

 Image via Know Your Meme

 

Oh, so the ‘Doctor’ didn’t give his child his name? Sure, a first name would have been polite, but at the very least, can’t we call him Monster Frankenstein, son of Victor Frankenstein? I’m just saying, just because Vicky doesn’t bother, doesn’t mean they’re not both Frankensteins. And as the ever quotable John Mulaney says, “just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting”. Next time someone tells you the monster’s name wasn’t Frankenstein, tell them any of this. Or strangle them. (Don’t do that).

 

 

2. When You Misunderstand the Instructions… Pretty Badly

 

Image via ImgFlip

 

I mean, sure. He definitely didn’t do what they had in mind. Definitely. But can he really be disqualified? He definitely built a stronger body, no one said it had to be his own. Somebody check the fine print. Anyone who’s ever had their homework handed back because they did the assignment just completely wrong will relate. Do we think this is the secret reason he left school? They told him to write an essay on human organs and he brought in a bunch of organs with writing on them? I’m just saying, maybe take it easy, man.

 

 

3. An Actual John Mulaney Meme This Time

Image via Tumblr

 

I swear I didn’t plan this. But  we’ve had a lot of these no/yes, broke/woke meme formats, and I consider this a good addition to the art form. And I mean… it’s true. I’m not a parent, so maybe I shouldn’t be shaming anyone for their methods, but I think in this case foresight is as accurate as hindsight would be. Like…Do not follow the doctor’s lead on this. Plus, have you ever tried to learn French? The hyphens alone make ME have nervous fevers, and he did it in one year. Whether he’s a monster may be in question, but either way he’s an absolute beast.

 

 

 

Featured image via Memebase