Tag: kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian-West and Alice Marie Johnson

Inmate Freed With Kim Kardashian-West’s Help Scores Book Deal

We know Kim Kardashian as a social media superstar—famous for being famous, a self-renewing resource of celebrity. She’s a bit like a real-life Barbie; it’s just that instead of going to medical school, launching herself into outer space, and tending to wounded animals (Barbie must have a fortune in student debt), Kardashian-West is a socialite, reality TV star, artist, entrepreneur, and cultural icon. We’d call her a wearer of many hats, except there just aren’t that many hats that Kardashian-West would deign to wear. Her latest look—advocate and contributor to prison reform—has the power to enact real social change. In fact, it already has.

 

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - MARCH 31: Kim Kardashian West attends KKWxMario Dinner at Jean-Georges Beverly Hills on March 31, 2018 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Stefanie Keenan/WireImage) Alice Marie Johnson

Image Via People Magazine

 

In 2018, Kardashian-West intervened in the case of Alice Marie Johnson, a sixty-two-year-old great-grandmother serving life in prison for a nonviolent drug offense. Johnson became involved in the drug world after her divorce and the chain-reaction of misfortunes that followed: gambling addiction; bankruptcy; unemployment; and, worst of all, her son’s untimely death. Though Johnson never handled drugs directly while working for a cocaine-trafficking ring, she did pass along coded messages to facilitate the transactions. When the police caught onto the operation, ten co-conspirators turned her in. As a result of their cooperation, each received reduced sentences ranging from no time at all to ten years’ imprisonment.

 

"Please wake up, America, and help end this injustice." -AMJ

Image Via YouTube

 

In 1997, Johnson was the only one sentenced to life. Since then, she’s expressed remorse for her involvement:

I felt like a failure… I went into a complete panic and out of desperation, I made one of the worst decisions of my life to make some quick money. I became involved in a drug conspiracy.

In an interview with Mic, Johnson describes the personal tragedies that have unfolded in her absence from the family home. Her mother, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, has no caretaker. After her arrest, her only living son dropped out of school. He is currently imprisoned himself. “Unless things change,” Johnson pleaded, “I will never go home alive.”

 

Kardashian-West, live on CNN, expresses her support for Alice Johnson

Image Via CNN

 

Does that upset you? It upset Kim K: after reading the article, she contacted Johnson’s legal team. “[Kardashian-West] was not only moved to tears,” said lawyer Brittney Barnett, “but moved to action.” In a highly-publicized stunt, the reality TV star met with Donald Trump to discuss the possibility of commuting Johnson’s sentence. An ecstatic Johnson offered her gratitude for the intervention:

Ms Kardashian, you are quite literally helping to save my life and restore me to my family. I was drowning and you have thrown me a life jacket, and given me hope that this life jacket I’m serving may one day be taken off.

And she had plenty to be grateful for. On May 30, 2018—Johnson’s birthday—she was officially free.

 

Alice Marie Johnson weeps at her release

Image Via CBS

 

This week, an imprint of HarperCollins has announced that there’s more to Johnson’s story. The book, After Life: My Journey from Incarceration to Freedom, will be available on May 21. Harper has deemed it an “honest, faith-driven memoir” taking a “deep look into the system of mass incarceration.” Kardashian-West will write the foreword. In an official statement, she shared what the story means to her and to the world:

Her story is a gift that will now reach so many millions more through her book and film. I hope Alice’s case is just the beginning of a movement to help those left behind. I am invested in continuing to support Alice and this cause.


Now that Johnson is free, she’s also free to tell her story. “I feel humbled that the telling of my story gives hope,” Johnson said, “and that my years of pain were not in vain.”

 

Kim Kierkegaardashian

What Do You Get When You Cross Kim Kardashian With Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard?

If you’re unfamiliar, there’s an excellent Twitter account out there mashing up Kim Kardashian quotes with quotes from philosopher Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855).

 

The account, @KimKierkegaard, has achieved what every parody Twitter account dreams of – a book deal. Entitled My Beautiful Despair: The Philosophy of Kim Kierkegaardashianthe book is available for preorder, with a release date set for July 31, 2018. The London Evening Standard has described it as “the ultimate meeting of the sublime with the ridiculous,” while the Barnes and Noble blurb praises the book for “blending the existential philosophy of Kierkegaard with the superficial musings of Kim Kardashian West”.

 

The Twitter account has been praised in The New YorkerThe Washington PostThe New York TimesFinancial TimesThe EconomistNew York, Buzzfeed, amongst others, and currently has slightly over a quarter of a million Twitter followers.

 

In support of this hilarious Twitter and its upcoming book release, here are some of my favorite tweets from the love child of the most famous Kardashian and the famed philosopher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LoL.

 

So there you have it. If you didn’t know about this Twitter account, now you do. If you love existential philosophy and politely making fun of the media mogul, this book is for you.

 

Featured Image Via Amazon.

Taylor Swift badly photoshopped into Jafar

Today Was a Fairytale, and Taylor Swift is the Disney Villain

If you’ve seen Taylor Swift’s newest music video for ‘Look What You Made Me Do,’ or the lyric video, or her new line of serpent specific merch, or have been on the internet, it shouldn’t surprise you that the pop princess has fully embraced her new reputation as a capital-S Snake.

 

You know who else is a big-ass snake? Jafar.

 

Jafar as a snake, and Kanye as Aladdin

Image Courtesy of Bustle

 

Disney’s Wiki article on Jafar is surprisingly in-depth and surprisingly really harsh. 

 

Like numerous clinically-diagnosed psychopaths, Jafar wears a metaphorical mask of normalcy, establishing himself as a cool-headed schemer and gaining the trust of those around him. An emotional sadist, he gets a laugh out of seeing another fellow’s dreams turn into nightmares one by one.

 

Sound familiar? Although, let me be very clear (because I’m afraid of Taylor Swift’s legal team): I do not condone any accusations or rumors of Taylor Swift’s alleged psychopathic behaviors, clinically diagnosed or otherwise. 

 

Jafar is the most stylish and fashion-forward character of the franchise. He’s tall, bony, dressed in extravagant red clothing, and carries a gold, ruby-eyed, cobra-headed staff.

 

Taylor Swift in her new video, Look What You Made Me Do

Image Courtesy of Taylor Swift

 

Am I wrong?

 

Not fantastic photoshop of Taylor Swift as Jafar and Selena Gomez as Iago

Images Courtesy of HelloGiggles, AccessHollywood (Taylor), and GodReports (Selena)

 

Seriously though, am I wrong???

 

Following the release of ‘Look What You Made Me Do’, I figure we’re around the point in The Return of Jafar where Jafar makes his debut as a genie. Powerful, vindictive, and very well accessorized. But there’s no way he’s actually in charge. After all, he’s the guy granting the wishes.

 

At the end of OG Aladdin, Jafar’s in hiding. Call it house arrest, call it unpopularity. What was T Swift even up to after Kim’s Famous Snapchat receipts? Plotting her revenge, apparently. 

 

Aladdin except it's Kim and Kanye, and Kris is the genie because

Images Courtesy of the Independent (Aladdin), Daily Mail (Kris), Kim Kardashian West, and Biography.com (Kanye)

 

So what happens next? Will The Return of Taylor suck as much as The Return of Jafar? And what about the sequel to the sequel? How will Aladdin and the King of Thieves pop up? Jafar isn’t even in King of Thieves!

 

If you ask me, this whole feud should have been direct-to-DVD.
 

Featured image courtesy of Disney, AccessHollywood, and how entertained I am by Photoshop.

Kim Kardashian holding a snake with Taylor Swift's head

Celebrate The Anniversary of Kim Kardashian’s Take Down of Taylor Swift Like A True Millennial Bookworm

It’s a year to the day since Kim Kardashian called Taylor Swift a snake for denying she knew she would be referenced on Kanye West’s song “Famous.”

 

In honor of this momentous occasion, we’ve put together a list of the top five snakes in literature!

 

1. Kaa: The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

 

Kaa has hypnotized Mowgli and has wrapped him in his coils.

Image Courtesy of Screenprism

 

In Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book, Kaa is both mentor and friend to Mowgli and uses hypnoses to rescue him from some sticky situations. However, in the Disney movie, Kaa is a sly antagonist who repeatedly attempts to hypnotize Mowgli in an attempt to eat him. Seems like this character is a little two faced! 

 

2. The Basilisk: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K Rowling 

 

Basilisk

Image Courtesy of Villains Wiki

 

The Basilisk lurks in the depths of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, awaiting the heir of Slytherin. While three of the four Hogwarts founders were accepting of Muggle-borns, Slytherin founder Salazar Slytherin was not. He left the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets in the hopes that one day his heir would release her so that she could purge the school of those he deemed unworthy to study there.

 

In the second book of the series, Harry Potter faces the Basilisk, who vanquishes her with the help of Fawkes the Phoenix and the Sword of Gryffindor. Even though she is eventually defeated, the Basilisk is definitely one of the scariest serpents in literature! 

 

3. The Incredibly Deadly Viper: The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket 

 

The Reptile Room book cover

Image Courtesy of Amazon

 

‘The Incredibly Deadly Viper’ is arguably the hero of the third installment of Lemony Snicket’s ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events. The snake created a distraction by pretending to attack Sunny while the children escaped the clutches of the evil Count Olaf. While snakes are notoriously sly, this guy is a welcome change from the stereotype and really saves the Baudelaire orphans in this spooky tale.

 

4. The Swamp Adder: The Adventure of the Speckled Band by Arthur Conan Doyle 

 

Speckled Band cover art

Image Courtesy of Deceptology

 

The Swamp Adder turns out to be the murder weapon in this famous Sherlock Holmes story! The dying words of Julia Stoner identify her killer as ‘the speckled band.’ Holmes and Watson eventually find out that it was ‘the squat diamond-shaped head and puffed neck of a loathsome serpent!’ Swamp adders don’t actually exist, and it has been speculated that the story’s description most closely resembles the Indian cobra. 

 

5. Mr. Crowley: Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

 

Good Omens book cover

 

In this comedy about the birth of Satan, Mr. Crowley is a snake demon who originally tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. He spends much of the novel in human form, but then again, so do a lot of snakes. *ba dum tss*

 

Featured image courtesy of Time and Mahashweta Burma