Tag: just for fun

Howl Pendragon’s Tinder Profile: He’ll Eat Your Heart

For our last Literary F*ck boy of the month, I wanted to pick someone not many people may know but who is as equally handsome and has many f*ck boy tendencies, Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle.

 

Image via Quotesgram

 

This is for all of my anime boyfriends folks out there! I fell in love with Howl when I watched the movie, Howl’s Moving Castle. But this handsome wizard started out from a series of books written by Diana Wynne Jones.

There is a bit of a disparity between movie Howl and book Howl but what rings true through all of Howl’s appearances is that he his is a f*ck boy. Guaranteed, if someone is talking about Howl they talk about how he’s a heartbreaker or to an even worse extreme, a literal soul-stealer. Excuse me?

 

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He’s not soul-stealing bad but we’ll get to that. We meet him through Sophie, the main character of Howl’s Moving Castle and his main love interest.

Pre-Sophie however, Howl is ridiculously charming and a notorious flirt. He would chase after women but when they start to reciprocate his feelings, he leaves them high and dry. The nerve!  Like Lucifer, he enjoys a good suit but with magical flair of course. He wears bright coats and even some jewelry, including a matching necklace and earring set. We stan fashion, loves. 

He uses makeup, even goes as far as to use charms to make himself more attractive, and dyes his hair. Yes, I know, those luscious blonde locks aren’t his naturally. When Sophie accidentally messes with his hair potions in his bathroom, he quite literally throws a tantrum over it. But by the end he has beautiful dark hair which suits him the best.

 

Image via Pinterest

 

It’s clear that the wizard holds physical appearances in high regard; those of the women he is pursuing and even more so himself. He spends more than an a hour getting ready, there isn’t anything exactly wrong with that but he’s so self absorbed that he would forget to bring food home for Michael or Markel(the movie).

He also keeps a rather dirty and messy house. Until, Sophie cleans up, there were piles of dishes, dust, dirt and what can only described as sludge in the bathroom. EW!

 

 

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What makes him unique among our current literary f*ck boy line up so far, he’s a bit of a coward. In the movie there is war going on and Howl, evades the wizards drafts by using his mobile castle and the portal inside to bounce between different towns whenever he pleases. And he also goes by different names in these towns to keep up his anonymity.

Now, I know what you are thinking. “Zariah, what in the heck does anyone see in Howl? He’s gross, self-absorbed and superficial.” I know and that’s where Sophie comes in.

She is a sweet, quiet, girl who is saved by Howl from some gross solders hitting on her and that was the last she saw of the “heart eating” wizard until The Witch of  the Waste puts and aging spell on Sophie. The Witch of the Waste is an antagonist for the two really only because she was getting revenge on Howl. Howl being Howl, pursed the witch but when it is revealed that she wasn’t spectacularly beautiful he forgets about her, breaking her heart and hurting her ego, so the next logical step is to curse him. Welp.

 

 

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Sophie get cursed out of jealousy but she kind of takes it in stride and as a 90 year old, she ventures off to figure out her new life. She stumbles across the castle and becomes a cleaning lady for Howl, Michael/Markel, and Calcifer, the fire demon whom Howl gave his heart to.

As the story goes on, Sophie is more confident as an old woman and takes charge of the castle, getting everything and everyone together. While growing closer to Howl we are shown more of his personality which isn’t really terrible. He seems surface level to those who gossip about him but he gives Michael/Markel somewhere to live and revived Calcifer who was falling star who would’ve been snuffed out if he didn’t give him his heart.

Through Sophie he learns that looks aren’t everything and he becomes comfortable with himself. He helps in the war and does what he could to turn the tide for the better.

Here’s his profile!

 

Image via Bookstr

And of course, the two end up together. Sophie’s curse is broken, Howl’s get his heart back, and they live happily ever after. This has to be my favorite couple out of the ones we’ve covered, at least with the F*ck boys who end up with a partner.

 

Image via Pinterest

 

But thank you for rocking with me this month with some spooky/fantastical boys for this month. Next month we’ll get a little more historical. Happy Halloween!

 

 

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 Featured image via redmangorereviews

Lucifer Morningstar’s Tinder Profile: This Devil Can Handle Anyone

The debauchery, orgies, mayhem and all around ghoulishness continues in this week’s Literary F*ck Boy Tinder Profile. With none other then Lucifer Morningstar himself!

 

Image via The Express Tribune

We are moving to another universe to the show Lucifer which is loosely based on the character from DC Comic’s The Sandman written by Neil Gaiman. If you don’t know who this devil is, you’re about to. Lucifer Morningstar is ruler of hell until he decided to leave that life behind for the Los Angeles or The City of Angels. He helps solve crimes with the our other main character Chloe Decker throughout the show but we’ll get back to her later.

 

 

Unlike our other f*ck boys so far, Lucifer as the oldest has had literally millennia to have as many partners as possible. He is the definition of a f*ck boy! If anyone needed tips he would be the master to go to. He can “turn anyone” on thanks to his natural charm and devilish power. He’s even claimed that he can sleep with 92 people in eight weeks but don’t hold that against him, he was going though a bit of a dry spell. Needless to say, he loves and enjoys sex and might be borderline obsessed with it.

He’s indulged in orgies, I mean what devil wouldn’t? His lovers have included Eve, like the first woman on Earth ever, Eve, Oscar Wilde, who was straight when he met him and a lot of other unnamed men and women for thousands of years. What a true BI King!  Also, he doesn’t wear underwear on a day he didn’t have sex or when he is planning to. So does he just never wear any, at all? 

 

 

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The first relationship of note for Lucifer, would be between him and his therapist Linda Martin. This devilishly handsome man has daddy issues; can you believe that? Lucifer would pay Linda in sex for their sessions. It’s not like he couldn’t use the money he has on actually compensating her for her lively hood, instead buying another fancy suit. But to each their own. As their sessions went on she could tell that she wasn’t getting the full story. He actually reveals himself to her as Lucifer Morningstar the actual angel turned ruler of hell so she can fully help him with his problems. She still has him on as a client but stopped the sexual nature of their relationship.

His other, more important relationship is with Chloe Decker. The two first meet when she is trying to solve the murder of a pop star Delilah. After that Lucifer becomes an official consultant for the LAPD, becoming Chloe’s partner and they work on multiple cases together. Chloe is the foil to Lucifer; she’s seemingly immune to his charms. He’s a content flirt and isn’t shy when it comes to how attracted he is to her but she constantly denies his advances. No, no means no dude, hang it up.

 

 

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He is also very open about the fact that he is Lucifer but of course she doesn’t believe him at first. She doesn’t only until she actually sees, Lucifer’s devil face after protecting her. As well as to no fault of her own being near Chloe makes Lucifer vulnerable, physically and emotionally; neither of them really knows why. There is a theory however, that he is vulnerable with Chloe because he chooses to be without even realizing it. More recently in the show, they do grow genuine feelings for each other, sleeping together and start a relationship.

 

 

Here’s his profile; B.C.E (“Before Chloe Entered”)

 

Image via Bookstr

We’ll have to wait for season five to see what is in store next for Lucifer and Chloe. But what I do know is that they are adorable and are perfect for each other. And I hope the writers keep them together.

 

 

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Featured Image via Film Daily

Nicholas Scratch’s Tinder Profile: He’ll Actually Put A Spell On You

This week’s f*ck boy is a magical one indeed. He’s a member of the Church of Night and attends The Academy of Unseen Arts with other gorgeous warlocks and witches. Oh, yes. We will be talking about the infamous, powerful and pleasurable Nicholas Scratch.

Image via Nestia

Let’s get you acquainted if you don’t know who this fine, gentleman is. Nicholas Scratch is a warlock on the Netflix original The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. This new version of Sabrina’s world is heavily steeped in darkness, Satanism and delicious depravity so it only makes sense that the men of this show are devilishly stunning.

Nick was only a reoccurring character for the first and second parts of the show but becomes Sabrina’s friend while she was still with Harvey and a love interest after their relationship ended.

Now, to say that he’s popular among the witches and warlocks of his academy is an understatement. There isn’t moment when we see him school, that there isn’t someone practically drooling after him when they should be focused on their studies or protecting the school from…any threat really.

There isn’t much we know about Nick before his life at the academy besides knowing he no longer has any family and his jealous familiar but he seems to enjoy orgies, participating in one with Prudence Blackwood, an antagonist of the show and other magical students.

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He was also in polyamorous relationship with Prudence and her weird sisters, Agatha and Dorcas. He ended the relationship in fear of the mind control magic the sisters use, not knowing if what they all had was real or not. He also offered to “share” Sabrina while he was trying to woo her even though she was in a relationship to her long time, mortal boo, Harvey Kinkle. We stan polygamy in this house but c’mon man, she’s committed. 

Nick’s f*ck boy behavior hits us in full force when we learn that he was ordered by the Dark Lord, aka, the Devil, aka, Lucifer, aka Sabrina’s BIOLOGICAL FATHER to get close to her and guide her down the path of night. Bad Nicky!

She’s understandably upset but is already in too deep girl, and she in love with him. Eventually she forgives him after making a massive sacrifice by becoming Lucifer’s prison, proving that he does genuinely loves her but doing so left him trapped him in hell.

 

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Sabrina and the squad rescue Nick and frees him from Lucifer. But he’s going through a lot. He was trapped for months with the Dark Lord torturing him, so he’s depressed and suffers from PTSD, which is rough, but as Sabrina tries to understand he grows distant and spends a lot of time in a Warlocks’ only club ran by Dorian Gray, yes the Dorian Gray, called Dorian’s Gray Room.

There a back rooms in this club that allow warlocks to live out their darkest fantasies, fantasies as in the magical, BDSM, adult sexy times. Which he indulges in, behind Sabrina’s back. It’s one thing after the other with this one folks.  One fateful day while looking for her boyfriend, she pushed her way through the club and catches him in the act.

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We understand that you were going through a lot, Nick but to cheat on the girlfriend who was trying to be there for you is not a good look, my friend.

His cheating not only affected their relationship but also, I think, made her more insecure about her virginity. Sabrina being “pure” is a through line in the show. She was going to sleep with Harvey but doesn’t then with Nick but doesn’t. She’s is okay with waiting until she’s ready and there is nothing wrong with that. Which is something she had discussed with Nick.

For him then, to cheat so egregiously was basically a slap in the face after him claiming to be content in his sexless relationship with his own girlfriend.

Nicholas Scratch is a mess but here is his profile.

Image via Bookstr

What are we going to do with Nicky? The last and final part of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina will be dropping to Netflix at some point and I kind of want him to redeem himself. I think the show should end with Nick and Sabrina happy even if they don’t end up together. And let’s pray that the writers don’t mess with Harvey and Roz or Theo and Robin because they are everything!

 

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 Featured image via Screen Rant

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Dean Winchester’s Tinder Profile: Lover of Pie, Looking For A Good Time

Welcome back to Bookstr’s Literary F*ck Boy Tinder profiles! Today we are here to bring you one of the best hunters in the world. He’s the killer of demons, angels, ghosts and monsters alike; a pie enthusiast, famous FBI impersonator, Mark of Cain wearing, should just come out as Bi already, Scooby-Doo loving heartbreaker, over the shoulder thirst trap extraordinaire; Dean Winchester!

Image via Citizen Dame

If you somehow don’t know, this handsome, handsome man, Dean Winchester is the eldest of a supernatural monster hunting team with his brother Sam Winchester on the long running CW show (and subsequent book series), Supernatural, which is in it’s final season. I’m devastated but it’s time.

But we aren’t here to be all sappy, we’re here to discuss this man’s f*ck boy behavior! And the endings to his more serious relationships.

Whether he comes across a nest of vampires, packs of werewolves, leviathan, or Death himself, he’s usually always down for a hookup with a beautiful woman he met at a small town bar or one of their female clients if he can. He even has been show to have a dating profile on the show.

Image via Supernatural Wiki

‘Rolling through town, no strings attached’ is right! Dean is known for hooking up literally all over the country as he and his brother travel to defeat some source of evil somewhere. However, unlike or last f*ck boy, Damon, Dean has had a few more meaningful relationships through out the show’s run.

The major relationship of note was with Lisa Braeden, where we met here in season three. The two met while Dean was hunting solo and spent a week together before he had to leave town. They meet again but now with Lisa was her nine -year-old son Ben, who isn’t Dean’s but becomes like one in the future. At the end of season five and into season six, Dean lives with Lisa and Ben and had been for a year after Sam died (not for long) and retired from hunting.

When he comes out of retirement and it is reveled Sam is alive their relationship started to crumble.  Their relationship finally and unfortunately ended when he had Castiel take her memories away to keep her safe. I’m still crying!

  

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His first love interest was Robin when Dean was sixteen. Their relationship ended abruptly when he couldn’t keep his promise to take her to the homecoming dance because the boys’ father forced them to hit the road again. They met again years later but didn’t get back together due to “the family business”.

Another short lived relationship is with Anna Milton, who we met in season four of the show. Their relationship was very short lived after she tried to kill John and Mary (Dean and Sam’s parents) in the past before his brother was born. She is killed off by the angel Michael.

Next, we have Cassie Robinson. The two met while she was in college and he was on a job in Ohio. This is one of the only women he trusted with the true nature of his job. She was understandably freaked out and dumped him but was still very much in love with him.

Dean has a lot of parental issues. If you know, you know, child! The show has never shied away about how hunting and keeping up with “the family business” affected the brothers. It’s no more evident in their romantic relationships. Many of Dean’s relationships, booty calls excluded, have been impacted by the grand design of Dean and Sam being the be all, end all, to the save world. The one true love of his life, Lisa had to be made to forget him because he didn’t want his life to change hers anymore than it already had.

 

Image via Bookstr

 

Before we go, we must talk about Dean and Castiel’s long shipping. Castiel is an angel who becomes more than just an antagonist for our boys, he becomes a great friend, ally, and is referred to as family from time to time. BUT, we the fans couldn’t help but notice the intense chemistry between the two.

Many jokes have been made about the Destiel ship in the show as the creators and actors are in-tune with the goings on of the fandom. For me personally, you can’t erase the tension that has been built up between the two, so whether the writers had always had intended these underlying feelings for the characters or not, they have the best bromance of all time.

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Featured image via film daily