Tag: Josh Lark

Don’t Storm Area 51! Read 5 and 1 Books About It!

While the creator of the event has cancelled storming Area 51 and is encouraging people not to take this joke too far, he did note that, “I sparked a movement while I was bored at 2 a.m.”

And a movement it is. It’s such a movement that people not only plan to run to the base, but a documentary about the raid is ready to film and the U.S. Air Force has released an official warning telling visitors to stay away from Area 51.

With the event coming this September 20th, the world will be watching. To prepare, here are 5 and 1 books you have to read before you watch people try to run across miles of blazing hot desert just to get teargassed in the face!



BEHOLD here are the five books that make up the five IN AREA FIFTY-ONE


1-Area 51 (Image of Aviation) by Peter W Merlin


Image Via Dreamlandresort


Peter W Merlin is an aerospace historian who has been researching the history of Area 51 since 1984 and is a founding member of the X-Hunters Aerospace Archeology Team. His Amazon description reads: “He has appeared in documentary television programs for Discovery Channel, the History Channel, National Geographic, and others, including Modern Marvels, Mystery Hunters, Inside Area 51, Return to Area 51, Atomic Journeys, Area 51 Declassified, and The Truth Behind Area 51”.


Area 51 (Image of Aviation)

Image Via Amazon


Published in 2011, this inexpensive coffee table picture book promises “declassified photographs [that] provide a rare glimpse into the true nature of America’s most famous secret base”. Inside its pages, the book focuses on the test flights and the development of the various planes inside Area 51, showcasing what the government wants us to see.

An interesting look-through, but it raises more questions than answers. However, sometimes the questions are more interesting than the answers, so don’t use this book as an excuse to Naruto run.


Image result for naruto run gif

Don’t be these people | Image via Gyfcat


2-Mystery At Area 51 by Carole Marsh

Carole Marsh

Image Via Alchetron


A native of Atlanta, Georgia, Carole Marsh is a professional writer, photographer, and Founder/CEO of Gallopade International Inc as well as the founder and owner of Marsha Media. Thankfully, she’s taken time out of her busy schedule to bring us this April 1st, 2011 release. April 1st, I hear you cry, but let me assure you, hypothetical person, that this book is no joke!

This is Area 51…For kids! An educational book filled with history, geography, culture and cliffhanger chapters, this book will have the kids begging for more! And that’s a good thing because this mystery includes SAT words, educational facts, fun and humor, a scavenger hunt and activities.

But what’s the story? I hear you ask. Well, hypothetical person, let me tell it to you…


The Mystery at Area 51 (Real Kids! Real Places! Book 44) by [Marsh, Carole]

Image Via AMazon


Christina, Grant, Mimi, and Papa visit Papa’s good friend who lives on a cattle ranch in Nevada. Riding on the Mystery Girl, the group lands on a small airstrip near Area 51 and soon learn that the rancher and his wife have been losing their cattle. Can they solve the mystery of the missing cattle? Are these alien abductions? Is the government involved? Are they stealing cattle to feed to their alien overlords?

This book will keep you guessing so much you’ll have to run through it, instead of checking up on the run to Area 51.




3-The Entirety of the Area 51 Series by Bob Mayer


Bob Mayer's Area 51 Series

Image Via AudioBookBay


The King of Area 51, Bob Mayer has written twelve novels about it since 1997. He’s written other fiction, a lot of it in fact, but his Area 51 series is a series where you can pick one book, any book, and you can’t go wrong.

My personal favorites are Area 51: Excalibur, about how the mythical Excalibur has the power to unlock a galactic power beyond what anyone—human or alien—has ever seen and becomes the middle of a space race and Area 51: Nosferatu, about a halfbreed whose lived around since the time of the ancient Egyptians whose now out on a search for a piece of alien technology known as the Holy Grail.


Area 51

Image Via Amazon


If you want to know where all this awesome-sauce starts in, this recipe of insanity began with Area 51, which is about in Area 51. More specifically it’s about how a team of scientists must fend off a greedy general who wants to activate an the interstellar drive from an alien motherhsip being housed in Area 51.

Things become even crazier when Dr. Hans Von Seeckt, an elderly ex-Nazi scientist and original member of the Area 51 research team, joins up with the president’s science adviser, Dr. Lisa Duncan, and Special Forces officer Mike Turcotte to tell the public the truth about Area 51.

Meanwhile, a brilliant archaeologist, Professor Nabinger, discovers a message on runes found in ancient Egypt that, you guessed it, connects to the aliens in Area 51.

I love this series.


4-Escape from Area 51: The X + Y Files by Wayne Kerr


Wayne A D Kerr

Image Via Amazon


Wayne Kerr has been around. From Biggar, Saskatchewan, Canada, where he was born and raised, to spending twenty years living in the USA, he is now back in Canada at his wonderful home in the Okanagan region of British Columbia. A published author best known for his Black Swann Investigation series, Wayne Kerr now has a new goal: “to get more young people off the internet and into a good book“.

Thus we have the X + Y Files series, and I’m here to present you his book: Escape from Area 51.


Escape From Area 51 (The X + Y Files) by [Kerr, Wayne]

Image Via Amazon


UFO obsessed Xander Bookman takes a trip near Area 51 when he starts hearing a voice from a creature calling itself I-pod. Is this an alien in desperate need of help to escape the most secure site on the planet?

Thus, Xander joins with his friend Yzzie on their most daring adventure yet: break into and escape Area 51 alive.

A science fiction novel mixed with adventure, mystery, and the paranormal, with a dash of fun, this novel is one for all ages, especially those who love the adventures of Mulder and Scully.


Image result for mulder and scully gif

image via Giphy


5-Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base by Annie Jacobsen


Area 51: An Uncensored History of America's Top Secret Military Base

Image Via Amazon


Released in 2011, this piece of investigative journalism is based on interviews with scientists and engineers who worked in Area 51 and, addressing any UFO-enthusiast’s dream, it speaks about the Roswell UFO incident and what went down.


Joseph Stalin

Yes, that is Joseph Stalin |  Image Via Daily Express


Sadly, it doesn’t confirm our beliefs about aliens but instead addresses the Roswell UFO incident and dismisses the alien story. Instead, it suggests that Joseph Stalin was inspired by the hysteria following Orson Welles’ 1938 radio drama War of the Worlds and wished to create the hysteria again by crashing a UFO into the United States.

He recruited Josef Mengele, The Angel of Death who was obsessed with twins during the Holocaust, was recruited by the Soviet leader Joseph Stalin to produce “grotesque, child-size aviators” to pilot a small aircraft and create the hysteria.


Roswell on a map

Image Via Conspiracies.net


But thing went wrong when the aircraft crashed and the incident was hushed up by Americans.

Jacobsen writes that the bodies found at the crash site were deformed children with large heads and abnormally shaped oversize eyes. “They were neither aliens nor consenting airmen, but human guinea pigs”, she claims.

That’s depressing. Maybe it’s completely wrong, seeing as all of Jacobsen’s sources are anonymous, but perhaps the truth isn’t as interesting as we think it is.

You never know what might be happening in there, but I have an idea that sensational writer Joshua Lark might or might not have given me.





1-Anal Sex at Area 51 (Gay Paranormal Military Erotica) by Josh Lark


Anal Sex at Area 51 (Gay Paranormal Military Erotica) by [Lark, Josh]

Image Via Amazon


What more can I say? There’s an extraterrestrial sex dungeon, a psychic spaceship and a room full of shapeshifting alien penises?



Image Via Twitter


Think Tony Stark has been in any of those rooms?



Featured Image Via Reddit

I Read ‘Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay.’ You’re Welcome.

Recently (an hour ago) I wrote an article for Bookstr titled 10 of the Most… Interesting Book Covers, and on that list was Josh Lark’s Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay.

Now That I'm a Ghost I'm GayImage via Wired

This, obviously caused a bit of a stir in our office. What’s this about? Is it about ghost sex? How do you have sex with a ghost? What’s it feel like? Did becoming a ghost make him gay?

And with a title like that what was I supposed to do? Not read it?

So I paid the $2.99 fee, I downloaded it to my Kindle, and now I have all the answers (as well as many, many questions).

Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay opens on our main character, Alex, who has just died in an incredibly tragic bike accident. He looks down at his own corpse and realizes he only has one regret; he never came out to his hot and sexy roommate Jason.

And… whoosh! First ghost power revealed! At the thought of Jason, Alex finds himself transported to the men’s room of his dormitory where Jason is exiting the shower, and at the sight of his naked body Alex gets a crazy huge ghost boner. 

But when he tries to reach out to Jason, he can’t. His hand travels right through him. 

The reality of this situation dawns on Alex.

He’ll never be able to touch Jason, or anyone, again. The world that he’s lived in, everything that’s ever mattered to him, he can see but he can no longer interact with. Alex tries to scream, and he can’t. He exists only within his own mind. 

Then Jason’s towel slips and Alex gets distracted by his pubes. 

And that’s sort of how it goes. Alex begins to spiral through an existential crisis, grieving the loss of own life, until Jason does something a lil hot and Alex gets insanely horny.

Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay is 11 pages long, and this is what the first six pages are like. So let’s skip to the ghost sex. 

Gay for GhostsImage via Stitcher

After Jason realizes that his dead roommates spirit is in this communal bathroom, he decides to let him bend him over the bathroom sink and ravage his corporeal being with his haunted hands. The former roomies can’t ‘touch’ each other in the traditional sense, though Alex’s touch feels very tingly and exciting on Jason’s skin. Alex knows this because another one of his ghost powers is being able to feel what Jason feels. Which is handy (no pun intended) since Alex is the one doing all the—erm—touching. 

The story ends with Alex writing in the fogged up mirror, his only way to communicate with Jason, and saying how happy he is now that the truth is out. 

All of my problems with Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay can be summed up in this one line:

“How do you tell your best friend that you’re dead, that you’re gay, that you want him to be yours? Which one do you even start with?”

Gay BabadookGay Ghost Icon, The Babadook/Image via The Guardian

Alex kills all three birds with one penis by going straight to the bone zone. I understand that the point of novels within this genre are to be short, erotic, and chock-full of supernatural elements, but I think that this is exactly what bothers me about them the most. 

I feel like if I were to die suddenly, I might have a little trouble getting it up for at least a day or two. I’d have too much on my mind to fully enjoy losing my v-card in the middle of a public bathroom. 

But hey, maybe that’s just me. If transcending into the spirit realm is the only way to get your rocks off, more power to you, pal. Whatever floats your ghost ship. 





Featured image via Amazon and Mandatory

10 of the Most… Interesting Book Covers

First and foremost, my intention with writing this article comes from a place of silliness and not from criticism. Every author here should be proud of the fact that they have written a book that’s available for purchase, that in and of itself is an accomplishment worthy of recognition. Writing isn’t easy, but apparently neither is Photoshop.

I also don’t mean to pick on romance novels specifically, they just seem to have the most eye-catching artwork.

It’s fun to giggle at a goofy picture, so here’s a collection of book covers in no particular order of importance that are sure to make you chuckle (or at the very least say “… huh?”).

You definitely shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, so every book listed will be linked as well. Check them out! Your future favorite novel just might be here!



10-Country Christmas 

Country ChristmasImage via Amazon


Country Christmas is a gentle introduction to the types of things you’ll be seeing on this list. It’s got a lot of fonts, it’s difficult to tell what’s going on, and it appears to be comprised of several stock images stacked on top of one another. A triple threat that might make you scratch your head, but not wholly offensive to the eyes.



DerekImage via Goodreads


I’m not sure who Derek is, but he seems a little rough around the edges. He must be important, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to pull a Madonna and go first name only.

He probably also wouldn’t have a gun.


8-His Reluctant Cowboy

His Reluctant CowboyImage via Amazon


The thing I like most about this cover is the way the cowboys appear to be sprouting straight out of the ground. That plus the fact that these cowboys are clearly from two different photo-shoots with two different lighting setups is what really makes His Reluctant Cowboy stand out from the crowd.



7-The BBW and the Space Lord: A Tale From Alpha Space

The BBW and the Space LordImage via Amazon


There’s a lot going on here. Like, a lot. The BBW and the Space Lord: A Tale From Alpha Space is described as a “humorous erotic adventure,” a vibe that I can certainly pick up from it’s cover. I also get a ‘what if X-Files was on public access and also ten times hornier’ sort of vibe, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.


6-Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay

Now That I'm a Ghost I'm GayImage via Wired


I won’t lie, this is a good book cover. I’m already very invested.

I want Now That I’m a Ghost I’m Gay written on my tombstone.


5-Ghost Raptor Seduction

Ghost Raptor SeductionImage via Amazon


Ghost Raptor Seduction is about a love triangle of paleontologists’ visit to a haunted dig site. I think there’s a sex scene between a human woman and a dino ghost. I don’t want to believe it, but the half naked woman and the semi-transparent raptor lying on the same bed sort of make it hard to deny.



4-Shy Boy

Shy BoyImage via Amazon


Does this cover make more or less sense when you know that Shy Boy is about male pregnancy?


3-Harvey and His Bunny

Harvey and His BunnyImage via Goodreads


Based on both the title and the cover of Harvey and His BunnyI can only assume that there are exactly two characters in this book. I can also only assume that the pair hangout in front of some exposed brick and that romance ensues. And my heart of hearts I want to believe that Harvey is shirtless and tanned throughout the whole thing.


2-Two Fathers One Secret

Two Fathers One SecretImage via Amazon


Once again, there’s a lot going on here. In the universe of Two Fathers One Secretthe sun must be so bright that no one can look up from the ground.

Also, I’ve never seen Game of Thrones but this is pretty much it, right?


1-Werebear vs. Werecow

Werebear vs WerecowImage via Amazon


Werebear vs. Werecow is by the same author who wrote Ghost Raptor Seduction, and its cover is every bit as… surprising. The most surprising part? Werebear appears to be a normal bear, while werecow is a sexy lady in a cow bikini. How is a human woman meant to fight a bear, and why didn’t she put on something a little more protective in preparation? This story is also listed on Amazon as being intended for audiences 18 years or older. Please tell me no one has sex with a bear.




Featured Image Via Goodreads