Tag: J.R.R.Tolkien

Ranking LotR Covers From Best to Worst

You have the hottest takes on the Hobbit covers, and now you have them for the Lord of the Rings as well!

Chinese – Fake! :'(

Image via Good eReader

I usually only put ACTUAL covers, but this one snuck up on me. Maybe just because I wanted to believe. It’s simple, elegant, and look at the figures. I don’t care if it’s real, it’s pretty, and I need it. Literally just take my money. Too good to be true.

11/10

 

Pencil

Image via Reddit

There’s a lot to like here, and not just because I grew up with this edition of the hobbit. They’re pretty, the style is consistent, and you know I like a set that looks like a set. Still not perfect – the color leeches over time, which might be tonally consistent, but visually it’s weird.

9/10

 

Goth

Image via The Literary Omnivore

These are pretty good. Dark, simple, have elvish and gold. Weird, old school illustrations. I don’t know what the significance of the yellow, red, and blue is, but it’s not objectionable, and we get the ring motif. I like it, but it’s not blowing my mind.

8/10

 

Forest

Image via WorthPoint

These are pretty! I like the illustrations, I like the subtle colors, I like that the set looks consistent, but the illustrations should be different! Like, the same style, but different illustrations. I want unity, but I don’t want it to be boring.

7/10

 

Monotone

Image via Tolkien Collector’s Guide

I like the colors, I like the art, I like that it’s retro. That said, it doesn’t have  a lot of character. It’s bland. You have a stupid maybe eagle, it’s all pretty general, and it looks like it was made by an algorithm. Ultimately? Meh.

6/10

 

Simple

Image via Adazing

I like the bright colors, I like the really metal illustration of the horse and the wraiths, but the first one with Gandalf is so bright, there’s just tonal dissonance. The middle one is perfect, because it’s vivid and menacing, but the others feel lopsided.

5/10

 

Ink?

Image via Open Culture

This is a mess. I like the first one so much – it’s simple, it’s thematic. We’ve got elvish, fire, rings. The second one is ugly and I don’t know why you’d do that. That green is bad, idk if that’s supposed to be an eagle, and don’t get me started on the third one. Pass.

4/10

 

Elfish

Image via Adazing

We’ve got the tricolor look again, but all the pretty art is covered up. I’m pretty sure the tree on the third book is just taken from a hobbit cover. I’m not even that into the movie font. The scale doesn’t play with the eagle. Disappointing.

3/10

 

Nightmare

Image via Adazing

I have every question. The eagles look like crows. The last one seems to be an army of snakes. The first is just a tree? All that purple doesn’t make any sense. It’s all so dark it looks like none of it is. No tone at all, just a heap of nonsense.

2/10

 

Realistic

     
Image via Nerdalicious 

God I hate what they used to do to fantasy books. I hate it. Gandalf looks like he’s offerning you drugs, the winged hat looks incredibly silly, and I’m horrified that’s an elf with a mullet. The purple’s too bright. An elf with a mullet! Ffs.

1/10

 

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Featured image via Zoom Comics

Ranking “The Hobbit” Covers From Best to Worst

Alright, so you can’t buy the one above, or it’s super expensive or something, but this isn’t a practical article. This is like those emoji rankings, but with The Hobbit covers, because one of the movies came out on this day, but we’re certainly not gonna talk about that.

Oldschool

IMAGE VIA ALAMY

Okay, this is the edition I have at home, so I might be biased. Or I just have NO control in museum gift shops. Definitely the second one. But it’s good! Simple, classic, has elvish, plus, I can tell you the dust jacket is a nice soft matte. 9/10

 

Hoard

Image via Paste Magazine

Smaug’s got GOLD. As a dragon myself, I approve. I mean, as a totally human person, I like the authenticity. And the glowy-ness. It really gives you an idea what it was like for Bilbo to just roll up to this huge hoard. There’s a sense of grandeur. 8/10

 

Modern

Image via Amazon

This one is also good, at least to me, because it’s simple and classic. The mountains are good! We got the eagles! The Hobbit might not be that dark, but it’s maybe a warning about the Lord of the Rings. It’s got style. 8/10.

 

Watercolor

Image via Pinterest

Again, I might be biased, because my mother had this edition, so it’s nostalgic for me. I think the illustrations are a little nostalgic in themselves, though. You get the sense of Middle Earth in a more peaceful time. 7/10.

 

Graphic

Image via Pinterest

Sure, it looks like someone’s graphic design project, but I’m saying that seriously, not like Graphic Design is my Passion. But it’s modern, it incorporates a lot of elements, and it does something different. Good colors. 7/10

 

Illustrated

Image via Penguin Random House

Sure, Bilbo looks like a toddler instead of just a shorter type of person – look at those chubby cheeks! But the landscapes are good, and Gandalf is nice and mysterious. Still, a little silly. 5/10

 

Cloth-Bound

   
Image via Biblio

I love a clothbound, I really do, but but this is lame. The grey makes no sense, I don’t know why the leaves are falling, and I’m frankly baffled by the butterflies. Do I have The Hobbit memory loss? I just don’t get it. 4/10

 

Movie Version

Image via Amazon

Every movie version is bad, but this is just extra bad. It looks like it was illustrated in 2005. The focus on feet is weird. I guess the door is supposed to make me think of the ring, but it doesn’t. It makes me mad. 3/10

 

Whatever This Is

Image via Nerdalicious

This is a horror. Was Gollum ever supposed to be that tall? Or… pointy? It’s dated, it’s weird as hell, and I don’t know how to even begin to describe Bilbo. He looks like a potato, and Gollum looks like a triangle. 1/10

 

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Featured image via Rare Book Cellar

Five Times SparkNotes Twitter Proved They Get It

Who hasn’t needed SparkNotes at some point? Who else can tell you that one character’s name you forgot? If you don’t know by now, I’m obsessed with SparkNotes‘ twitter. Every tweet is a work of absolute genius. From god-tier memes to incredibly hot takes, SparkNotes’ twitter never disappoints. As we look down the barrel of a new decade, let’s take a look at the most mindblowingly relevant of their recent tweets.

 

And it’s Gender Neutral!

 

Sure, the original context wasn’t explicitly romantic, but it’s really something you can make your own. Who doesn’t want to be cool, feared, and respected? Think about it. And the implication that your very own calamity is a dragon? I’d be incredibly flattered. How could you not be? That way you’re not just saying your lover is great, they know you think they’re great. You’re telling them they’re powerful and feared in the local land. Goals.

 

 

Who’s Who?

 

The only thing that matters – which person in your relationship tries to kill the king and then panics, and which actually just finishes the job? Because listen. It’s important that one of you be able to get things started and set the ball rolling, or you’ll never get things done. At the same time, some people just aren’t great at finishing projects. Conclusions are tough. Momentum isn’t going to get you there. Someone needs to be more detail oriented. Detail obsessed. Wash their hands over and over.

 

 

I Can Relate

 

Okay, so only two of those things are true about me, but all of them are said. Do you love the sea? Are you probably a ghost? Avoid making appearances, especially during the day. Congratulations! You might be the Flying Dutchman, or another legendary ghost ship! Actually, you could be a vampire. Or just English and Victorian. All three? That’s a dream. Maybe THE dream. I’m not a ghost hunter or anything, but I might BE a ghost.

 

 

Red Flags

 

As we approach the decade that has, in advance, been termed the ‘screaming’ 20s, let’s avoid the pitfalls of the roaring 20s. And especially any choice ever made by Daisy Buchanan. Consider her an object lesson, actually. Don’t take up with lying military men. Don’t bail on them to marry guys who suck. Don’t then STAY with those guys when no one even expects you to. Don’t lead said military man on again years later. Definitely don’t commit vehicular manslaughter.

 

 

Awareness is Key

 

Hey. We know better than to call him foul creature. We’re beyond that. We have to be. But the rest of these are real. The Kids use them all the time. I mean, I’ll double check with my baby sister, but I feel pretty confident. it’s the sort of thing The Kids would definitely text about. Especially the last one. See? SparkNotes is always relevant. This is the cutting edge.

 

 

All images via SparkNotes on Twitter

 

 


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‘The Lord of the Rings’ TV Series Casts Will Poulter As Lead!

 

Exciting news for fans of The Lord of the RingsAccording to Deadline young British actor Will Poulter, star of franchises such as The Maze Runner, The Chronicles of Narnia, We’re the Millers, and Black Mirror, is poised to take the lead role of Amazon’s upcoming series based on the bestselling, ever popular fantasy novels. The series has no announced plot yet, but is known to take place in Lord of the Ring’s Second Age, after Sauron’s initial defeat in the First Age but before his return that kickstarts the main plot in the books proper in the Third Age.

 

Image via the Guardian

 

The series hails from writers JD Payne and Patrick McKay and director Juan Antonio (J.A.) Bayona. Amazon is reportedly putting out all the stops for the show, intent on making it a massive, big budget adaptation of the source material. Although Amazon has not confirmed who Poulter is playing yet, it is widely believed by several sources that he will play the show’s leading man.

 

Markella Kavenagh

Image Via IMDB

 

This means he’ll be acting alongside Markella Kavenagh. Kavenagh previously portrayed Cindi in Romper Stomper and Myrtle in Picnic at Hanging Book.

Although again not confirmed, it is believed that Poulter and Kavenagh will play the two leads: Beldor and Tyra

The show will be produced and collaborated with HarperCollins, the Tolkien Estate, and New Line Cinema to bring the rich world of Middle-earth to life once again. Are you excited to revisit Middle-earth? Are you also excited to see Will Poulter in the (potential) leading role? Tell us in the comments!

 

 

 

Featured Image Via The Guardian

Our Favorite Tolkien & Lewis Apocrypha

Tolkien and Lewis were both in residence at Oxford for many years, studying and teaching both. They were also close friends, even though they disagreed on almost everything. Sure, they had a shared interest in language, and in what we now call fantasy, but they disagreed on religion, and on the tones of their books. There are also a lot of stories about their friendship, few confirmed, but all amazing. Here are our favorites!

 

1. The Lamppost

 

Image via Dissolve

 

There’s a story that says Lewis specifically put the lamppost in Narnia because Tolkien said a good fantasy story would never have one. The sheer pettiness. What an icon. No fantasy story would have a lamppost? Well this one does! Please, TELL Lewis what his story can have. There’s no slowing him down. A lesson in spite we should really all take to heart.

 

 

2. Religion

 

Image via IOL

 

Tolkien was, as well as being a linguist and historian, quite Catholic, and Lewis found his philosophical suggestions appealing, becoming religious himself. Tolkien didn’t get what he wanted, though, because though Lewis became more religious, he was Protestant, and Tolkien didn’t at all appreciate how much religion was in Lewis’ books. Kinda played himself.

 

3. The Draft

 

Image via The Creative Penn

 

Apparently when Lewis first read his draft of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe to Tolkien and a croup of friends, Tolkien hated it. He thought it was terrible and combined too many mythologies. He wanted more consistent world building, and I don’t have a good source for this, but I’ve heard he even told Lewis to stop writing.

 

 

 

Featured image via J A Carlisle