Tag: hermione

5 Times Harry Grinds Our Gears in ‘Goblet of Fire’

Fifteen years ago today, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out in theaters. Though this adaptation of the fourth book in Rowling’s Harry Potter series is wonderful, there are times, in both the book and movie, where Harry tends to strike a nerve. Let’s face it, Harry may be the chosen one, but he’s not the brightest wizard of his age. Here is a list of the five times Harry grinds our gears in Goblet.

 

 

1. Harry doesn’t study

 

 

You would think that procrastination is Harry’s favorite sport, rather than Quidditch, with how passionately he attempts to avoid studying at all costs. He and Ron rely on Hermione far too much to pass their exams, and, while it is a normal teenage endeavor to fall back on the notes of your most studious friend, preparing for the Triwizard Tournament is an entirely different monster. The stakes of the game are to win or to invite injury, as well as defeat, and yet Harry evades investigating the ins and outs of a successful trial by fire (Goblet of Fire, that is) at every turn. Thank goodness for his invaluable luck, where help seems to fall in his lap by way of Hagrid spilling secrets, the loyalty of Cedric Diggory, and the effort of friends: Dobby (in the book) or Neville (in the movie).

 

2. Harry critiques everyone’s outfit at the Yule Ball

 

 

Okay, so he does this silently in his mind, and that’s much different from telling someone to their face how ghastly their ensemble is, but still we have a window into his thoughts. Harry laughs at Ron’s dress robes, refers to Hagrid’s suit as “hairy and horrible,” McGonagall’s tartan as “ugly,” and Malfoy’s cronies as “two moss covered boulders.” Granted, the last one is quite satisfying and these observations bring some humor to the text, but we’re still not used to seeing such a blunt critique from Harry’s point of view.

 

3. Harry has shallow reasons for rejecting dates

 

 

Harry did have one special girl on his mind (Cho Chang), and though she was eventually unavailable, all other females in Harry’s eyes were dimmed by her light. Three girls ultimately asked him to the ball, yet he rejected them all on the grounds that he didn’t know them and he was holding out hope for Cho. When an unidentified fifth year asked Harry to the yule ball, he turned her down with the simple explanation, “She was a foot taller than me. Imagine what I’d look like trying to dance with her.” According to harrypotterfandom.com, “Harry also described her as looking as though she might knock him out if he refused her invitation.” He does later, in his final desperation, attend the dance with Parvati Patel, though he treats her as nothing more than a ticket to gawk at Cho dancing with Cedric.

 

 

4. Harry Shares the trophy with cedric

 

 

This one is no fault of his own, but it’s still the most cringe-worthy and painful regardless. Harry was doing a good deed and being fair by sharing the trophy with Cedric, something more akin to that of Hufflepuff than Gryffindor. And for someone who almost attacked his competitor, to assist him at the end like this is making a complete one-eighty. However, if there was one moment that we wish Harry had been selfish, it’s this one. There was no reason for Cedric to be there with Voldemort, and had he not touched the goblet at the same moment as Harry, it’s unlikely that the graveyard scene would have gone differently. The only thing worse than a literary character’s death is a senseless one. Harry couldn’t have known that the goblet was a portkey, yet each time we watch Harry decide to be benevolent at the worst possible moment, the good and light part of our literary soul dies along with Cedric.

 

5. “Harry! DID YAH PUT YAH NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH?!”

 

 

Alright, this one’s just for fun, but how could I not broach the moment when Harry is verbally assaulted by Dumbledore about “putting his name in the Goblet of Fire?” Though this one isn’t on Harry by a long shot, it’s the single most excruciating grind-your-gears moment in the film, and it’s actually pretty hilarious how contradicting Dumbledore’s on-screen presence is from his “calm” inquiry of Harry in the novel.

There you have it! The five ways in which Harry grinds our gears in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Now, you can celebrate the fifteenth anniversary of its premiere by diving into the movie once again, and procrastinating along with Harry throughout each of the Triwizard tasks!

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all in-text images via pinterest

 

 

5 Philosopher’s Stone Memes

I know I know, half of you are scandalized, but today, on the eighteenth anniversary of the film release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, how am I supposed to bring sorcery into it? Apparently american children in 1997 thought philosophy was for nerds. You know what’s for nerds? Harry Potter. There are a lot of ways to reminisce about the only movie where they actually wear robes, but we’re internet people second, here at Bookstr. I think you know where this is going.

Flawless Logic 

Image via QuickMeme 

Alright, I was the same age as Harry when I first read this book, and not much older when I saw the movie, but what was Dumbledore’s thinking here? I admit I don’t remember all the details, but you basically can’t get into Gringotts, and you certainly can’t get out. And that’s under normal circumstances! They couldn’t throw another dragon or two in front of the thing? And let me ask you this: did they ever try dragons against Voldemort in the first place? I don’t care how much of an evil badass you are or whatever, what are you really going to do with ten tonnes of angry fire lizard in front of you? I know they threw dragons at children in the fourth book, but without warning? Please. I just want to know they tried it. And I know Hogwarts is supposed to be pretty safe, but even without all the later counter-evidence, I’d wonder. 

 

Actually, What Did He Do? 

Image via Inverse 

This is a dazzling take, obviously, and there’s a lot to unpack, but really it just made me wonder what Malfoy’s dad like… does. Sure, he’s a Death Eater, but not every second, and how much Death Eater work is there to do while Voldemort’s presumed dead? I know he’s very busy being privileged and racist and hearing about things Potter does, but what does he do the rest of the time? Just sit around the house being angry about things and making house elves miserable? For real, it’s never mentioned that he works at the ministry or anything. We really don’t know anything about how the Malfoys got so powerful, or about what they do now. It never bothered me before, but now it’s driving me crazy. I also absolutely love the suggestion that he invented toaster strudel. Invented it! It’s so random and so muggle centric. Priceless. 

 

More Great Ideas! 

Image via Inverse 

Alright, so you’re not allowed to go into the forest, because it’s STUPID dangerous, and you’d definitely die. Also, it’s even more dangerous than usual because someone’s going around killing and eating unicorns. Never go there! Wait, out after dark, maybe risking their lives trying to relocate an illegal dragon for the groundskeeper? Well, why don’t you do something even more dangerous for that very same groundskeeper? It’s like, oh, you’re smoking? How about some meth? That’ll teach you. I mean, I guess they learn something, but it’s not their lesson, I think the rest of the story can attest. And the second they’re in the forest, Hagrid is like, you know what? Let’s split the party. Best witch with me! Here’s my dog, try not to die. And then, not only are they in danger, but it’s literal Voldemort, running around in the woods right by the school. Who’s keeping track of school safety around here? 

 

We Don’t Judge. Or Use Judgement. 

Image via Inverse 

Look, I know the twins are chill as it gets, but they really should have noticed this. Don’t judge, that’s great! But bring it up, please? Did they see it and go “aww, Ron has a friend” like, shouldn’t they know there’s noone named Peter in his year? They’re only a year or so above, and there are like five boys in his class, how would they not realise? Especially when this guy goes everywhere with Ron? I know what you’re going to say. Why would they ever actively check where Ron is? Well, if they want to sneak out of the tower, wouldn’t they need to know everyone else was asleep? And why weren’t they even a little worried any of the times Ron was just AWOL in the middle of the night? I know they support making poor discipline related choices, but he’s a baby, aren’t they worried? Have they ever walked right past him when he’s in the invisibility cloak? What did they think then, I beg of you? 

 

Sass Trio 

Image via Someecards 

These nerds had their moments. We all like to talk about Harry, as we should. “No need to call me sir, Professor” was the line of a generation, and I like him telling Snape that Ron’s misspelled name is a nickname. They say a lot of stuff to Snape. But I don’t think Hermione gets enough credit. She has fewer moments, sure, but they’re absolutely metal. Remember when she bitch slapped Malfoy, muggle style? Your fave could never. And what’s Malfoy going to do, tell his father? Hi dad, today I was slapped at wizard school. It would never occur to someone who’s always had magic right there. I’m honestly just sad she never slapped him again. Oh, sure, she could outspell him too, she’s a much better caster, but there’s just such a big energy about hitting that dude in the face. Classic. 

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Top 7 Harry Potter Memes

Harry Potter has had twenty plus years to percolate in popular culture, and it’s produced a lot of content, including memes. Here are some funny ones.

 

He Takes His Job Seriously

 

Image via Imgur

 

The last thing Snape needs is art teacher vibes. I hate to let them down! It does make me feel like I understand Neville’s suffering though. Once in grade school, an art teacher told me I was bad at collages. I was stunned. I’m just glad I didn’t need to eat it.

 

 

Harry Potter, King of Shade

 

Image via LiveAbout

 

I’ve always said, if you can’t beat them, annoy them. It might not kill Voldy to get his name wrong, but I can’t imagine him reacting calmly. Sometimes you don’t need actual magic, just a really sick burn. Think of “no need to call me sir, professor.”

 

 

I’ve Connected Them!

 

Image via Screen Rant

 

Dumbledore, you ridiculous jumble of contradictions and eccentricities. Say what you will about Dumbledore and the wisdom of his choices either way, but he is objectively a TERRIBLE judge of character. Think of Quirrell.

 

 

Grammar is Life

 

Image via Pinterest

 

While this isn’t cannon… it’s cannon. It would be so like Hermione to just absolutely reject being killed by a mispronounced spell. Like, kill me, sure, but do it right. Here, let me help you with your murder technique. She just really couldn’t watch someone flounder.

 

 

There’s a Reason He’s Not in Ravenclaw

 

Image via Cheezburger

 

Obviously danger does follow Harry, but Harry does also follow danger. Like, anything dangerous happens, and Harry is like *butterfly meme* “Is this a situation I should get involved in?” I guess it’s what Godric Gryffindor would have wanted?

 

 

When you and Your Roommate fight

 

Image via Runt of the Web

 

I think we’ve all been there. Just pointedly staring at undone dishes and listening to top 40 music from across a small apartment. What are you guys going to do, slam your curtains? Hum loudly? You’ve got real problems, work it out!

 

Hermione’s always Been Metal

 

Image via Amino Apps

 

I mean, yeah, it would have made for a much shorter book, but I’m also not convinced it didn’t happen. Hermione is the sort of person who would be like “this is something I’ve been working on, it’s just simple” and then summon a dragon or something.

 

 

Featured image via BookBub

3 Harry Potter Cover Redesigns We Need Right Now!

The internet is full of strange and wonderful things, and it seems like everyone online has more talent in their pinkie than I do in my whole body. I love it. There’s a wonderfully large community for book cover redesigns, and every cover re-designers should probably have professional book design jobs. You may ask, will we ever have enough designs for Harry Potter dust jackets? These artists don’t seem to think so.

 

1. Art Deco Redesign by asheaths on Tumblr

 

These are simple but punchy, and they would make beautiful display copies. The shelf envy would be so real. Designs for the spines weren’t included, but even stacked they’d be gorgeous.

 

           

Images via Tumblr

 

 

2. Stylized German Book Covers by Olly Moss

 

These designs may seem more traditional, but don’t let the clean simplicity of the art style fool you. Through details and color, these covers convey the feeling of each book like you’re reading them again for the first time.

 

 

Images via Tumblr

 

 

3. Glow In The Dark Cutouts by Kincso Nagy

 

The piece de resistance—cutout and luminous, these copies glow inside and out. Beautiful cutouts back by luminescent paint, popup illustrations, and pretty matte covers make these outrageously beautiful. I want a hundred.

 

 

Image via The Telegraph

 

 

 

Featured image via The Telegraph 

The Seven ‘Harry Potter’ Books Ranked From Worst to Best

The Harry Potter books are some of the most enduring touchstones of children’s literature. Most of us have fond memories of J.K. Rowling’s classic series of fantastical novels centering around the wizarding world of Harry Potter and friends. But not all of the books are created of equal quality, despite our tendency to rank all seven as equal quality, they are unfortunately not. But which are the best and which are the worst? Let’s have a look at all seven ‘Harry Potter’ books and see them all from worst to best!

Chamber of Secrets

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7. Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets

Off to the races with a little controversy. Out of the whole series, Chamber of Secrets unfortunately ranks at the bottom. While the first book pulled readers in with its fantastically designed world and introduced the characters effortlessly while having the subplot of Voldemort in the background, the second book is a lesser follow up.

The basilisk plot is terrifying and quite gripping but ranks as perhaps the most ‘run of the mill’ plot of Harry Potter’s canon, a monster of the week story that doesn’t deepen the characters much nor does it truly advance the series forward. The loss of Hermione for numerous chapters hurts the book too, removing the essential power trio that is the series strength. Its not bad but its definitely the weakest of the novels, although the plot twist of Tom Riddle gives it some bite near the end.

Socreret's Stone

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6. Harry Potter and the sorcerer’s stone

The first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, will always remain a classic for its introduction to the world of the Potterverse and the characters within, fondly remembered in the minds of many readers.

However, J.K. Rowling clearly hadn’t solidified her style yet and under critical scrutiny, it certainly doesn’t stack up against most of the other books. The first book is quite short and its a breezy read, with Rowling blasting through huge amounts of the school year without paying it the great amounts of detail that would become a trademark of the later books. The world also feels less fleshed out and considerably more childish but even so, this is the book that made our love of the series last forever.

Goblet of Fire

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5. Harry Potter and the goblet of fire

Goblet of Fire has a lot of good, with its tournament style structure offering a break from the usual clichés of the series, offering a new and exciting series of scenarios for Harry to tackle. Characters are deepened even further here as the cast begins to grow up, with the Yule Ball sequence an excellent demonstration of how much more ‘adult’ Harry and his friends have become in their fourth year. The ending is also fantastic, with Voldemort’s chilling resurrection and return to power.

Still, the overall structure does become repetitive on subsequent reads. Cedric’s death is well handled but in hindsight, Cedric’s death is telegraphed miles away considering he was a new character and not a main member of the cast. Still, its a shocking moment and the book helps move the series into its darker tone.

Order of the Phoenix

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4. Harry Potter and the Order of the phoenix

This book is polarizing, as teen hormones come to dominate the plot and this can be grating to many readers. Harry’s changing emotions cause him to crush badly on Cho Chang, brood around Hogwarts, rant about Dumbledore, and be kind of a jerk to his friends. Its justified and a realistic portrayal of teen angst but its not very fun to read either and its especially grating on re-reads. But it also contains some of the highest ‘highs’ of the series, like the formation of Dumbledore’s Army, the battle at the Ministry of Magic, and the glorious presence of Dolores Umbridge.

It’s perhaps a polarizing book but its great moments make up for the lesser ones.

Deathly Hallows

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3. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows 

This is the finale to the series and it certainly lived up to the exceptions. It wrapped up the series is a very satisfying way, showcasing the entire cast of characters in a variety of ways, even in small cameos. It’s not without its flaws, with the epilogue being controversial and the middle of the book dragging considerably as the trio travels through the wilderness, but the rest of the book, especially the final battle at Hogwarts, was everything we ever wanted and more.

It’s the finale we all wanted and minor flaws don’t detract for what an incredible experience it was.

Half-Blood Prince

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2. Harry Potter and the half-Blood prince

This book is a high point of the series, striking a balance between dark drama and hilarious comedy in a perfect way. It provides a backstory to the series villain, Voldemort, and deepens characters considerably while throwing tons of twists into the mix about old ones (Dumbledore especially). Snape is also showcased for the first time as considerably more complex than he initially appeared to be and the final twist of him being the Half-Blood Prince is an exciting payoff at the novel’s emotional climax, and that’s saying nothing of Dumbledore’s unexpected and emotional death at the book’s climax.

This is a heartfelt, drama, and masterpiece of a novel that truly solidifies Harry Potter’s mature themes.

Prisoner of Azkaban

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1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The third book of the series is truly the best of the books, despite being shorter than the later ones and early into the series run. Here is where Harry comes into his own as a three dimensional character as opposed to simply a surrogate and a POV character for the young audience. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black make their introductions here, standing out as some of the best characters the series has to offer.

It’s the book that tugged at our heartstrings for the first time and even though Voldemort is almost completely absent the plot is no less engaging for his absence.

This book shows why we love Harry Potter and why we always will.

I love harry potter

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