Everybody loves animals, even fictional ones. Whether they’re surviving fires or starting them, biting or putting up with the protagonists, or really good sports about villainous mistreatment, these animals are in it for the long haul. Here are some of our favorites, in no particular order.
1. Buttercup – The Hunger Games
Gif via Giphy
This cat’s been through a lot. Bombings, attempted murder, living underground. I’ve never even known a cat who could stand a closed door. Nothing impresses Buttercup. All he wants is to have his head pet and maybe some fresh entrails.
2. Drogon – Game of Thrones
Gif via Tenor
Who doesn’t want a dragon? Personally, I’d rather be able to breathe fire myself, but this is a close second. Our boy got LORGE. Plus, he survives the game of thrones. What’s not to like? I’d ask where my dragons are, but there’s no missing them.
3. Hedwig – Harry Potter
Gif via Giphy
She bite! Sure, Hedwig might not be the cuddliest of pets, but she can find anyone on the planet earth, and isn’t that worth more? Dignity, messengerial integrity, spots, she’s got it all. Plus, she survives longer than about half the human characters. Too soon? It’ll always be too soon.
4. Toto – The Wizard of Oz
Gif via Giphy
Have we left Kansas? Doesn’t bother her. Tornadoes, witches, Toto’s not afraid of anything. It’s also revealed in later books that Toto, like most animals in Oz, is capable of speech. She’s just not much of a talker. Still, her tendency to bite witches speaks loudly enough.
5. Max – How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Gif via Giphy
Has any pet ever put up with more? From the indignity of having to wear just one large antler, to the logistical challenge of having to pull an entire sleigh, Max always does his best to make the Grinch happy. One hopes he got a large helping of roast beef for his trouble.
We’ve all craved a magical food that doesn’t actually exist, or we’ve read about a real food that didn’t live up to the hype of our childhood imaginations. Here are some of the foods (in no particular order) that still seem to appear in my dreams.
There are what feels like hundreds of candies within the walls of Willy Wonka’s factory, all of which sound absolutely mouthwatering. However, everlasting gobstoppers stick out to me because they actually exist. You can go down to your local corner store and buy a box right now if you really wanted to.
But you don’t want to. Because the real everlasting gobstoppers are flavorless little balls of cement. And the fictional ones are, well, fictional.
The tree formed when a toffee candy was planted in the ground in the moment of Narnia’s creation, and it grew at an incredible rate because the song that brought Narnia to life was still clinging to the world.
Must taste pretty good, with an epic backstory like that.
Pasta puttanesca is a very real dish, and something you can order at most Italian restaurants. However, sometimes the way something tastes in reality just can’t compare to the way it tastes in your imagination.
In A Series of Unfortunate Events, the pasta puttanesca serves as a small amount of comfort in the bleak world that the Baudelaire children have found themselves in after the death of their parents. Something about the warm, homey feeling that it provides makes it an absolutely crave worthy dish.
Sam-I-Am was pretty insistent about this dish. If someone follows you from a house, to a box, to a tree, to a train, to the dark, to the rain, to a boat just to get you to try a bite of their food then they’re probably insane.
But they probably also have some pretty good eats.
Coraline isn’t particularly excited by this dish, choosing instead to stick with her frozen mini-pizzas. However, considering the themes of family and parental love in this novel, this soup dish gives off a cozy and homey sort of vibe.
And if someone hands you a warm pot of homemade soup, that someone must love you an awful lot! Certainly more than your eyeless, soul stealing, puppet mom.
Studio Ghibli, the Japanese animation studio, has a knack for animating foods in the most delicious looking way possible. This particular gif is from My Neighbor Totoro, as the saffron tea from Kiki’s Delivery Service didn’t make it’s way out of the book.
In the book the tea serves as a reminder of Kiki’s home while her travels become too much to handle. The smell and the warmth remind Kiki of her mother, and the memory helps keep her spirits high while she’s speeding around on her broom.
This one is a bit macabre, but there’s something undeniably intriguing about the unicorn blood in the Harry Potter.
The golden trio (plus Draco) are serving detention in the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid, when they stumble upon a pool of shiny silver goo. When they see a shadowy figure knelt over the body of the unicorn, the kids all run away screaming, except for Harry who stumbles over a tree root.
He’s saved by a centaur, the story moves on, and no one even asks for a sip of that shiny, magic goop.
The internet is full of strange and wonderful things, and it seems like everyone online has more talent in their pinkie than I do in my whole body. I love it. There’s a wonderfully large community for book cover redesigns, and every cover re-designers should probably have professional book design jobs. You may ask, will we ever have enough designs for Harry Potter dust jackets? These artists don’t seem to think so.
1. Art Deco Redesign by asheaths on Tumblr
These are simple but punchy, and they would make beautiful display copies. The shelf envy would be so real. Designs for the spines weren’t included, but even stacked they’d be gorgeous.
Images via Tumblr
2. Stylized German Book Covers by Olly Moss
These designs may seem more traditional, but don’t let the clean simplicity of the art style fool you. Through details and color, these covers convey the feeling of each book like you’re reading them again for the first time.
Images via Tumblr
3. Glow In The Dark Cutouts by Kincso Nagy
The piece de resistance—cutout and luminous, these copies glow inside and out. Beautiful cutouts back by luminescent paint, popup illustrations, and pretty matte covers make these outrageously beautiful. I want a hundred.
Harry Potter‘s birthday was, understandably, a big day in the literary world. The boy who lived turned 30. Whoopdidoo.
Now, I’m not the biggest fan of Harry Potter. I loved it as a child, but got a little sick of the Slytherin merchandise overflowing the Hot Topic shelves during my teens. And now, at age 20, when anyone asks me what house I’m in or what my horcrux would be, I cringe just a little.
What I am a fan of is the massive amounts of fanfiction that the Harry Potter heptalogy has spawned. Since the early 2000’s thousands upon thousands of talented writers have spent days slaving over their hot laptops, weaving their own stories through the magical wizarding world of Harry Potter.
Not all of them are good. Some, in fact, are very bad. And in some respects, the bad ones are better than the good ones. At the very least, they’re great for a laugh.
There was a debate in the office about whether or not this article should be written at all, which is why this particular fanfic has gone unnamed. I’ll say this: it’s the one you’re thinking of. Enjoy.
10. “We walked into [Draco’s] flying black Mercedes-benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.”
9. “In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.”
8. “Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father comitted suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Gryffindor).”
7. “Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.”
6. “Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red satanist rings on my nails in read nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Mary Sue 2 u?).”
5. “He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was… Voldemort!”
4. “All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew through fell apart. Britney that insufferable prep started to cry.”
3. “Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did some advanced biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.”
2. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps here except for B’loody Mary, because she’s not ugly or anything.”