Before we get to the jokes, please accept our gratitude for your warm reception of the Hilariously Honest Book Titles series.
It’s nice to know that we’re not the only questionable characters laughing at these (just kidding… a bit).
We are now taking requests in the comments section for future list themes and/or specific books to parody. You can check out Part 1 and Part 2 to see if your requests have already been fulfilled. We are also willing to redo any alternative titles and damn our souls even further into hell on your behalf.
Without further ado, here are this week’s titles:
(The following jokes do not reflect the views of Bookstr or its staff members. We just happen to find them hilarious. Viewer Discretion is Advised.)
1. Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Percy Jackson and the Illegitimates
2. James and the Giant Peach
James Wants Dat Giant Peach
3. 50 Shades of Grey
Pornhub For Suburban Moms
4. Jurassic Park
5. Pride & Prejudice
Will Marry For Street Cred
6. My Year of Rest and Relaxation
My Year Of Reverse Fomo
7. The Fault in Our Stars
The Fault in Our Cells
8. A Tale of Two Cities
Adjusted Covers via Masako Fukuchi; Pornhub For Suburban Moms by Rushali, Weirder Science by Sage, My Year Of Reverse Fomo by Masako
Beware the Ides of March. I know we’re fresh off of this week’s Honest Book Titles (Part 3), but we decided to parody Shakespeare’s book titles to celebrate the shanking(s) of Julius Caesar. After all—you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself get turned into a Caesar Salad.
1. Julius Caesar
Julius Gets Turned Into a Caesar Salad
2. A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Good Luck Puck
Don’t Trust White People, Othello
4. Twelfth Night
To Be or Not To Be, That Was on Point
6. King Lear
The OG Sugar Daddy
7. Richard III
Hunchback of Notre Dork
8. Much Ado About Nothing
The Wrong Way to Get Married
9. The Taming of the Shrew
Would Thou Leave My Dowry So Unsatisfied?
10. Henry VIII
Two Boleyn Girls, One Henry
Witches Be Crazy
And now we part with such sweet sorrow until next time, friends. Remember to make your requests in the comments section!
Adjusted Covers Via Masako Fukuchi; The Wrong Way to Get Married (Becky), Witches Be Crazy (Sage).
Monday gets a lot of hate, but Tuesday is arguably worse- you’re not even half way through the week, you still have a misery-hangover from Monday, it’s probably raining, you may have seen a dead rat on your way to work…any number of unpleasant things can have happened by Tuesday.
But never fear, for Bookstr is here with a compilation of hilarious literature-related tweets from the endlessly amusing inhabitants of Twitter dot com. So, let these tweeters bring a smile to your face as we edge ever closer to hump-day, and sure, by then it’s nearly the weekend!
my wife frodo baggins
🤝 leaving town with a tall bearded man and throwing their ring into a volcano
as it is snowing in new york, it's a good day to read wharton; she is the laureate of novels that take place in new york in the snow, insomuch as she wrote about people who were wealthy enough to stay petty during this season bc they had central coal heating. https://t.co/q8oGAD4HHb
remember I met a news editor who asked me what I was hoping to do over the next few years. he then took the piss out of me for saying the word 'longform'. since then, I have written a book, and he is still bald
i started writing poetry when i was 69 but didnt get my first book published until i was 420 years old. took another 246 years for me to win a pulitzer prize, which i turned down because i did it all for the love of game
the 1800s was a dangerous time because if you weren’t careful a genius writer would fall madly in love with you, scribbling passionate poems and sending you little heart necklaces with pictures of you and her.
Harry Potter is an iconic book series, quickly becoming one of the most successful series of all time. It’s no surprise that this series has it’s lasted this long; how could it not between the movies, merch and of course, the books themselves. One of the things that makes the series is its intriguing titles. However, in each instance, there are so many possible titles that these books could have. Considering there are even memes of the titles such as “Harry Potter and the Audacity of This Bitch” floating around social media, what would the Harry Potter titles look like if they were written about the other characters and not Harry? Do you think Harry would mind?
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
-Ron Wesley and the Time Harry Almost Killed Him Over a Game of Chess
Ron, a loyal friend to Harry from the very beginning. Right off the bat they became friends and right off the bat Harry gets him into a whole lot of crazy situations Between the three-headed dog and the killer vines that like to strangle you to death. Ron still sticks around and puts his life on the line during a super intense game of chess. The MVP of book one could have easily been Ron.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
-Tom Riddle and the Time Harry Potter Stole His Diary
Stealing a diary is totally Mean Girls– the diary being the Wizarding equivalent of the Burn Book! .Without Tom Riddle’s diary, Harry would have never made it to the Chamber of Secrets, and we wouldn’t have a story.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
-Hermione Ganger and the Time She Fucked With Time Travel
Hermione spent this entire book going back in time, then using it for her own benefit and keeping time travel a secret from her friends and loved ones. If this doesn’t sound like the plot to almost every time travel movie I don’t know what does. Plus with Hermione being such an interesting and deep character, it definitely would have made for a HP worthy book.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
-Cedric Digory and the Graveyard of Wizard Nazis
Cedric Digory, just minding his own business, learning spells, and participating in school activities. As a Hufflepuff, he embodied friendship and loyalty which is why hw and Harry decided to win he tri-wizard cup together, instead of fighting for it further. BUT OF COURSE, POOR CEDRIC FINDS HIMSELF ALL MIXED UP IN HARRY’S DRAMA, and in a graveyard of the most evil people in the wizarding community, he is murdered.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
-Albus Dumbledore and the Time They Tried to Replace ME
Lets face it, Dumbledore needed his own book title, what better book than the one in which they tired to REPLACE our beloved headmaster!? The book in which we learned there is only one Dumbledore and though he is a complicated man, his shoes cannot be filled.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
-Draco Malfoy and His Father, Who Will Hear About This.
Throughout every single book, Draco finds himself uttering his most iconic phrase, never letting down his audience. It’s only fitting that he should get his own book title.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
-Neville LongBottom and the Day He Stood Up for Himself
Neville has an extremely pivotal moment in this novel where the boy who we all knew throughout the books, he stands up for himself and others which changed the tone of the final battle in this series.