Tag: Frankenstein

11 of Literature’s Worst Monsters

You read the title, now let’s get going!

But first, let’s set up one rule: all of the monsters on this list have to be fictional. No non-fiction real people. No, “I read a book on Manson and he was evil so why is he not on this list?” No. All these people are fiction, figments of an author’s imagination.

With that said, let’s start off with:

 

 

11-Carmelita Spats

Carmelita Spats (TAA)

Image Via Lemony Snicket Wiki – Fandom

 

I have nothing against children (that’s a lie), but she’s just plain EVIL! From the first pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy, you know this girl is trouble, and she is. Duncan and Isadora, two orphans already at the academy, are forced to live in a shack due to not having parents or guardians to sign the permission slip for the dorms. Carmelita begins referring to their shack as the Orphans Shack.

And that’s before our trio, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, make their way into the story.

When she and Violet have the same class, Carmelita takes it upon herself to poke Violet with a stick and whisper “orphan” every few minutes. Plus, she takes it upon herself to remind the orphans that, well, they’re orphans. Even worst, she calls them “cakesniffers!”, a confusing but still ultimately insulting jab at their…lack of cake?

 

Cakesniffer!
Image Via Pinterest

 

Come The Slippery Slope, Carmelita  meets Olaf and Esmé Squalor face to face. Without a second thought, she abandons her parents and becomes their child.

Think about it. Her parents sent her to Prufrock Preporatory, a boarding school. I know rich people send most of their kids away for boarding school, but this just stinks that her parents don’t even like Carmelita, and honestly, who could blame them?

When Olaf and Esmé have our trio in their grasp they discuss which Baudelaire to leave alive for the fortune, and Carmelita suggests keeping Violet so they can tie her hair to things.

In the Grim Grotto, Olaf shows his human side with his annoyance at this little monster. Who can blame him? Every moment she’s on the page she just shows off how bratty she is.

 

You’re a cakesniffer and she eats cake! / Image Via Lemony Snicket Wiki – Fandom

 

Come The Penultimate Peril we’re on Olaf’s side when he abandons her and Esmé, since Esmé refuses to discipline the girl and Carmelita needs to be taken out back and shot Old Yeller-style.

What does Carmelita do next? She submits a book about how wonder she is to be used as evidence in a potential trial against Count Olaf and the Baudelaires.

Disloyal, wicked, and evil, Carmelita is a true monster. Don’t beleive me yet? Here’s the song she sings over and over again in The Grim Grotto:

C is for ‘cute’

A is for ‘adorable’!

R is for ‘ravishing’!

M is for ‘gorgeous’!

E is for ‘excellent’!

L is for ‘lovable’!

I is for ‘I’m the best’!

T is for ‘talented’!

and A is for ‘a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian’!

Now let’s sing my whole wonderful song all over again!

 

10-The White Witch

The White Witch
Image Via Wikipedia

 

The main antagonist of The Magician’s Nephew and of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Jadis is cold hearted demon. Not only did she murder God (Aslan), she enslaved Narnia to a thousand year winter. That wouldn’t be so bad, trees do annoy me, but she made it so it’s never Christmas but always winter.

Meanie!

To make it worse, she persuaded Edmund to turn against his friends with Turkish delight.

I have the right mind to call Jadis Judas.

 

9-Tywin

Tywin Lannister

IMage Via A Wiki of Ice and Fire – Westeros.org

 

This is hard, considering a lot of the characters in A Song of Ice and Fire are terrible people, but I say Tywin takes the cake. Yes, Joffrey is a psychopath, but Tywin is worse. Here’s why:

He emotionally abuses Tyrion

He uses Cersei as a brood mare

He sends The Mountain off and “didn’t know” that the Mountain would rape/kill Elia Martell and bash her two baby children against the wall.

Worst of all, Tywin is a perfectly rational person. This isn’t an issue of “bad genes” or anything like that. He was disrespected as a child, and thus he intends to never be disrespected again. Now that he’s an adult with the power he always dreamed of, he hasn’t stopped. He’s not bloodthirsty, he’s apathetic. Family is everything, and he won’t stop until he holds all the power over Westeros, no matter what the cost.

 

8-Dracula

Christopher Lee as Dracula
Image Via Birth.Movies.Death

 

I know he’s a vampire and that might be a good excuse for biting people, but going strictly off the Bram Stoker’s Dracula, The Count is kind of a monster. Yes, he has to suck blood, but I’m not going to hold that against him. At his core he’s a predator. There’s no right or wrong that comes into play here because when you need to eat, you need to eat.

So he is even on this list? Well, let’s look at what he does…

He imprisoned Jonathan Harker.

He impersonated Harker so he could commit heinous crimes in his name, despite the fact he can transform and quickly get away, not impersonation required

He slaughtered an entire ship full of men.

He preyed on Mina just to hurt Jonathan and her family

Dracula doesn’t just feed because he needs to feed, he revels in his predator status just to terrify his prey because he finds it amusing. He’s like a shark that tells you, “I’m going to eat you whole and you’re going to want to scream but you’ll be suffocating as you slide down my throat”.

Dracula takes it a one step, and a couple more, from what his nature requires.

 

 

7-Morgoth

Morgoth
IMAGE Via ArtStation

 

Morgoth, Melkor, he’s known by several different names, but either way he’s a monster. We learn that in The Silmarillion that, after falling from glory, Morgoth corrupted all those in his wake. You think Sauron is bad? Sauron works for this monster.

It was only when Morgoth, after declaring war against the Elves and Men and slaughtering much of them during the First Age, that he was bound in chains and thrown into the void, leaving Sauron to trouble the world, as we see in The Hobbit and the Lords of the Ring trilogy.

 

Morgoth
Image Via Men of the West, Youtube

 

Worst of all, according to a prophecy, Morgoth will rise again.

Morgoth, Melkor, whatever you want to call him, he’s the OG monster in Tolkien’s leafy universe.

 

6-Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman

Image Via McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

 

In a world where everyone doesn’t listen to each other and people are routinely mistaken for others, Patrick Bateman fades into the background, and he loves that fact. But, subconsciously or otherwise, he leads a double life as a murderer.

Wealthy, materialistic, this Wall Street investment banker does less time working and more time going to parties. Plus, he tortures women and poor people and gays and children. Or maybe he doesn’t, it’s left very vague whether all his killings are actually happening.

As he loses his grip on reality, there’s one pivotal scene in the novel, but not in the Christian Bale film adaptation, where Patrick Bateman gives his girlfriend a cake. Aww!

 

 

She eats it, calling it minty. Twist! Since he doesn’t like his girlfriend very much, he given her a chocolate covered urinal cake.

 

Image result for urinal cake
Image Via Metro

 

Real or imaginary, that’s…uh…ewwwww

 

5-Annie Wilkes

Annie Wilkes

Image Via Bungalower

 

Annie Wilkes is the scariest character Stephen King ever created. Obsessive, psychotic, and worst of all…human.

She only appeared in Misery, and she certainly made an impression. The embodiment of every obsessive fan out there, Annie finds popular writer Paul Sheldon after a car crash. So she kidnaps him, ties him to a bed, and refuses to let him go until he writes a book. Paul is forced to indulge her every whim lest there be tragedy consequences.

When he tires to escape, he chops off his foot with an ax and cauterizing his ankle with a blowtorch. When his typewriter breaks down, she cuts off his thumb with an electric knife. When a state trooper comes to her house, she runs him over with her riding law mower.

 

 

4-Christian Grey

Christian Grey

Image Via Inverse

 

The titular character of Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian is abusive, emotionally unstable, and an all around prick who the author doesn’t think is problematic any way.

For one, he claims he’s in BDSM but in reality he just likes hurting women who have brown hair. Like his mom “the crack whore”. When Ana tells him she’s a virgin, he stomps around the room before deciding that he has to ‘take care of it’.

Yes, he was abused by an older woman, but he refuses to say she did anything wrong. Not only does he refuse to say she did anything wrong, but you better not tell him he’s wrong or else…

He also gives Ana whine while she’s signing a contract.

 

3-Victor Frankenstein

Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Wikipedia

 

Not the monster, the doctor who created him. This scientist is the true monster of the story.

After creating life itself, Victor looks upon his creation and sees something that is clearly not human. He sees something breathing, thinking, alive, but less than perfect, and so he rejects it, shuns it from the world.

 

The creation, Adam, confronts Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Owlcation

 

The creature seeks revenge against him, but are we to blame the creature? Forced away from the one who gave it life into an unforgiving world, the creature could not thrive, only survive. His vengeance is not just wrath, it’s justice for the mistakes Victor has created.

While he regrets creating the creature, Victor does not look upon the creature with understanding. Instead he calls the creature ‘fiend’ or ‘demon’ and pursues him to the Arctic, intend to kill it. He falls through the ice and dies, warning other not to meddle with life, but failing to teach them the lesson of empathy.

 

Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Twitter

 

Cold blooded, Victor Frankenstein is the monster, the only monster, in Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.

 

2-Humbert Humbert

Humbert Humbert
Image Via Rhiannon Hart

 

Humbert Humbert uses language to seduce the readers, and he almost succeeds. But lest we forget: he’s a pedophile, obsessed over a girl he calls Lolita. That’s why the book is called Lolita.

For the record, her real name is Dolores.

Back to Humbert. He marries a woman to get closer to his daughter and, once the woman dies, he kidnaps her.

The worst of it is that Humbert Humber makes himself a sympathetic pedophile. He criticizes the vulgarity of American culture, establishing himself as an intellectual, and considers his sexuality to be a sign of his culture.

A monster, if I ever saw one, but nothing compared to our number one pick…

 

 

1-The Judge

Image Via AMazon

 

“The Judge” appears Blood Meridian very early on. We’re following the kid who goes to a revival meeting when a man bursts into the tent and tells the crowd that the preacher up on stage isn’t a real preacher, but a man wanted in three states.

The man who burst into the tent is “The Judge” and you might not know it, but he’s one you have to watch out for.

But compared to the illiterate drunken rapists surrounded you, the Judge is a breath of fresh air. Just look at that first scene! He showed everyone who that ‘preacher’ truly was. He has morals.

If you think about it, that means you’ve put your trust into this monster.

 

The Judge
Image Via PInterest

 

You see, when the Judge burst into that tent he saw the kid. He didn’t just look at him, he saw into his soul. That’s good. Cormac McCarthy never says who the Judge exactly is, if he has gone mad, but if they told me he wasn’t human, if they told me he was the personification of evil, I’d believe it.

 

The Judge

Image Via Texas Hill Country

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Youtube Channel Men of the West, Texas Hill Country, and Wikipedia

Check Out These Spooky Bookish Drink and Dessert Combos

Serve your ghoulish guests only the best at your literary Halloween party!

Click on the names of the drinks and the desserts to find the original source and/or recipe.

 

 

 

A Bloody Mary Shelley Cocktail with A Frankenstein Parfait

 

Images via The Printing Press Bar & Kitchen  and  Frog Prince Paperie

 

Mary Shelley, together with her beloved monster is meant to be!

The bitter and acidic flavor of a Bloody Mary goes perfect with a sweet vanilla parfait.

 

Polyjuice Potion with Butterbeer Fudge

 

Images via Buzzfeed and One Sweet Appetite

 

It’ll be a magical occasion once you bring out this drink and dessert combo!

Include apple in your potion and it will complement the fudge.

 

Poison Apple Cocktail with Snow White Apple Dumplings

 

Images via Thrillist and Feast of Starlight

 

This apple-based drink and dessert combination will send you to the cold afterlife, then bring you back to the warmth of home sweet home. Be careful who you take it from though, especially if you’ve been recently discovered as the fairest of them all.

 

 

Flame And Shadow Cocktail with Whitewalker Ice Cream

 

Images via Buzzfeed and Lets Eat Cake

 

Nothing says “A Song of Ice and Fire” quite like the combination of a fiery jalapeño-based cocktail with some chillingly sweet ice cream.

Is the cocktail too spicy for your taste buds? Well, the ice cream is sure to ease that pain away! If only it could heal the pain of all those character deaths…

 

The We’re All Mad Here Cocktail with Queen of Hearts Tarts

 

Images via Best of Las Vegas and Pinterest

 

Insanity and sweets combined, this is the perfect combo for Halloween! The cocktail also changes color when you add the little “drink me” bottle, adding more to the madness!

 

 

Hope these recipes bring you plenty of fun and sweetness for your Halloween!

 

Featured Image via Photocollage

Top Three Frankenstein Memes

Did you ever drop out of school to create unnatural life? No? Then live vicariously through Victor Frankenstein, a totally real and not unethical doctor!

Treat the invention of science fiction with exactly none of the reverence it deserves, and feast your eyes (stolen or not) on these Frankenstein memes.

 

1. For the Pedant in Your Life

 

 Image via Know Your Meme

 

Oh, so the ‘Doctor’ didn’t give his child his name? Sure, a first name would have been polite, but at the very least, can’t we call him Monster Frankenstein, son of Victor Frankenstein? I’m just saying, just because Vicky doesn’t bother, doesn’t mean they’re not both Frankensteins. And as the ever quotable John Mulaney says, “just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting”. Next time someone tells you the monster’s name wasn’t Frankenstein, tell them any of this. Or strangle them. (Don’t do that).

 

 

2. When You Misunderstand the Instructions… Pretty Badly

 

Image via ImgFlip

 

I mean, sure. He definitely didn’t do what they had in mind. Definitely. But can he really be disqualified? He definitely built a stronger body, no one said it had to be his own. Somebody check the fine print. Anyone who’s ever had their homework handed back because they did the assignment just completely wrong will relate. Do we think this is the secret reason he left school? They told him to write an essay on human organs and he brought in a bunch of organs with writing on them? I’m just saying, maybe take it easy, man.

 

 

3. An Actual John Mulaney Meme This Time

Image via Tumblr

 

I swear I didn’t plan this. But  we’ve had a lot of these no/yes, broke/woke meme formats, and I consider this a good addition to the art form. And I mean… it’s true. I’m not a parent, so maybe I shouldn’t be shaming anyone for their methods, but I think in this case foresight is as accurate as hindsight would be. Like…Do not follow the doctor’s lead on this. Plus, have you ever tried to learn French? The hyphens alone make ME have nervous fevers, and he did it in one year. Whether he’s a monster may be in question, but either way he’s an absolute beast.

 

 

 

Featured image via Memebase 

7 Literary Characters That Desperately Need to Go Back to School

With the start of September comes a new semester of school. Not the most exciting time of the year, unless you’re Hermione Granger. Good on you if you’ve made the leap to educate yourself. It is indeed something many people desire to one extent or another, but for some, it is an absolute necessity due to a severe lack of intellect. To speak in layman’s terms, for those of you who don’t understand, some people are pretty dumb.

In honor of the start of school, we are counting seven literary characters who are very much in need of a good education.

 

 

1. Crabbe & Goyle from The Harry Potter Series

 

Image result for crabbe and goyle

Image via DeviantArt

 

Without question, Malfoy’s lackeys are in desperate need of schooling, together. The two would surely have to go to classes together as they are so lacking in intelligence separately they’d have to combine their minds, either figuratively or literally via magic, to pass any of their classes.

 

2. Captain Ahab from Moby Dick

 

Image result for captain ahab

Image via DeviantArt

 

The man had goals, but not the wits to catch one particular whale. With a little more to learn, Ahab could greatly benefit from learning more about whales in Biology. That or he could go for his teaching license in Whaling. You know what they say, “if you can’t do, teach.”

 

 

3. Ariel from The Little Mermaid

 

Related image

Image via Tenor

 

Finding your place in the world is a huge part of school, especially in high school and college. At the very least with education being the central focus, it’ll prevent you from making undersea deals with strange old hags and running away from home for some pretty boy—or so we hope. Ariel could certainly learn about stranger danger if she enrolls now.

 

 

 

4. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum From Through The Looking Glass

 

Image result for tweedle dee and tweedle dum gif

Image via Giphy

 

With an inclination toward mischief and violence, the twins would give any teacher a hard time. However, if separated and placed in the right classes, their bad habits could be turned around. Have them involved in a sport like football or volleyball, and on the side, fostering their apparent interest in poetry could help them to express themselves in more productive ways. Then again, going back to the chaos of Wonderland it would take much longer to find progress, unless they dorm that is.

 

 

5. Ophelia from Hamlet

 

Image result for ophelia hamlet

Image via Wikipedia

 

School could have literally saved Ophelia’s life in Hamlet. When you’re with a really great teacher, you can be tested to think for yourself. Granted, in Medieval Times women were expected to follow the men, Ophelia being swayed left and right is a tragedy in itself. If she was given an education, then maybe she’d be more logical in thinking with her heartbreak over Hamlet. At the very least she could have benefited from swimming classes.

 

 

6. Victor Frankenstein from Frankenstein

 

Image result for victor frankenstein gif

Image via Giphy

 

In spite of how smart of a scientist he was before his grave-robbing began, Dr. Frankenstein realized only at the end how much of a fool he was to try and play God. Even then, he still did not understand that he is no hero in this tale of horror.

Victor may not need to go back to the basics of Science, but he ought to register in several classes on Ethics as soon as he can.

 

 

7. Dr. John Watson from The Sherlock Holmes Series

 

Image result for dr watson gifs

Image via Giphy

 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Watson is a Doctor, he’s already gone through years of school. Not enough when he keeps being schooled by Sherlock. Maybe Dr. Watson should go back to Elementary.

 

So good on you for making the smart choice of an education! *Cough* Hope it’s not a waste of money. *Cough*

As for this bunch, they definitely need to be making the choice to go to school. It’s still not too late for them to apply, but they’re probably too stupid to know that.

 

 

Featured Image via cornel1801

Top Quotes to Celebrate Mary Shelley’s 222nd Birthday!

I personally enjoy Young Frankenstein the most out of all Frankenstein related things (You are missed, Gene Wilder). However, it goes without saying that Mary Shelley crafted a masterpiece that defined various genres, and transcends English-class-required-reading-curriculums because of its epic scope and intimate insights into the human psyche.

The following quotes and excerpts include some of Shelley’s greatest insights:

 

 

Image via NYTimes

 

 

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”

 


 

“The beginning is always today.”

 


 

“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.”

 


 

“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”

 


 

“How dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to be greater than his nature will allow.”

 


 

“Once I falsely hoped to meet the beings who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities which I was capable of unfolding.”

 


 

“Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose.”

 


 

“Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity and ruin.”

 


 

“My dreams were all my own; I accounted for them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed—my dearest pleasure when free.”

 


 

“Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void, but out of chaos.”

 

 

 

 

Featured Image via The Great Courses Daily