So, if you want yet another reason to dedicate your whole day (if you can) to reading, then consider this argument for all of the books in your “To Be Read” pile collecting dust on your shelves…
Remember when The Cask of the Amontillado memes came back and crushed the scene for no reason? Those were good times, and they’re not gone. In fact, I have cases of Amontillado memes. Right this way, they’re just at the back of my cellar.
Um… Excuse me.
Image via Imgur
Who would lock him up? You’re a monster if you don’t protect him. Look how baby he is! I’m shook. Come to think of it, he definitely shouldn’t be drinking wine either. Let him out, pat him on the head, and get him something dogs like to drink instead. The look on his face is priceless. So polite. Like… pardon? I may have a problem? The little paw too, he just conveys so much with so little space. I don’t care how much he wronged me, I’d just keep bearing those affronts. I would gladly let him kill me.
Why do I Never See That Guy Anymore?
Image via Know Your Meme
Fortunato? Well, I certainly didn’t murder him, if that’s what you mean! Are you asking if I lured him down to the cellar and knocked him out? Don’t be ridiculous! Where would you even get that idea? I certainly didn’t build a wall over him so he’ll die slowly entombed in the earth. You guys have a lot of questions, lol. So specific! Why would I pretend to be his friend, secretly hate him, and then plot to get him drunk and murder him? You’re a riot.
The Internet is GOOD
Image via Tumblr
People say that phones would ruin classic media, but people are wrong. Can you believe this? Imagine all that nonsense, then Fortunato sobers up a little and realizes he’s got his cellphone. The sheer silliness appeals terribly to the post-absurdist sensibility we’ve got going these days. I also really appreciate the anticlimax. Oh god, he walled him in! Wait, wait, he’s got his cellphone. It’s fine. PEAK COMEDY, I tell you. What did we do before Twitter?
You Know the Look
Image via Twitter
I don’t even know where to go from here, to be perfectly honest. How can something that’s borderline incoherent be so funny? Who gave it the right? Memes have gotten so abstract in the hundred-seventy-three-years since this was published. Why did this become a craze? Were people like ‘you know what’s relevant to the modern world? A sedate story about wine and revenge from over a hundred-fifty-years ago’. It’s a spicy take.
We’ve All Been There
Image via Imgur
Does anybody remember this show? And could you possibly explain to me why every single train had the worst personality ever put to film? I wasn’t rooting for any of those jerks. And what could possibly be the situation pictured here? Are they actually cask-of-the-amontillato-ing a guy? He doesn’t exactly look comfortable with whatever’s going on. These are children’s books, for goodness’ sake. Did they really just go, ‘I know what’s good for this kid’s book! Murder!’ Ahead of their time, I guess?
Featured image via Tumblr
With a week left until the big day, it’s time to iron out your costume. Here are a few based on books that break the mold a little (or a lot). But they’re mostly just straightforward to execute. Requiring things you probably have and very little explanation, try these outside the box ideas that’ll tell everyone “This is the one day a year I put down my book and leave the house.”
Queen of Hearts
Image via Good Housekeeping
The card ruff makes this so simple. Red dress, red lipstick, and a pack of cards. All you really need that’s strange is a little crown, which you could probably fake with tin foil or something if you’re anything like me. Of course you have to own clothes that are colors, so you can’t be anything like me, but it seems like a good, easy play.
Edgar Allan Hoe
Image via Copy Blogger
Who doesn’t like wordplay? Who doesn’t like sexualizing dead authors? Plus, goth thot has a nice ring to it, and he’s so distinctive. Slap on a raven and a fake mustache and everyone will know what you’ve done. The vest with no shirt horrifies me. Not for very cold climates! Don’t freeze out there for the aesthetic, even if it would be what he’d want.
Image via Mixbook
Is this lazy? I don’t think so. You’ve gotta find nerd glasses, and you’ve gotta wear two shirts. Really you can do this with any superhero, except maybe Deadpool. What shirt do you have? Wonder Woman? Supergirl? Spiderman?! All set! The only thing you need is normal clothes. If you wear real glasses like me, though, I have no suggestions.
Fifty(ish) Shades of Grey
Image via Writer’s Flow
I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong – it’s not a pun, it’s word play. Plus, this costume has a lot of merits. Not only can you just wear your own clothes, the only element you need is the paint chips, which you can just walk in and take from anywhere that sells paint.
A Sexy Beetle
Image via Scoopnest
If you’re thinking, “does that briefcase indicate he’s a traveling salesman?” the answer is yes. That is a sexy Gregor Samsa – post transformation. It’s great, because if you know the book you might be genuinely appalled, and if you don’t you still will be! This one looks more like a cockroach than a beetle, but the choice is yours.
Featured image via Moda Magazine
The raven is a poem with a lot to unpack. I definitely remember an english teacher insisting that the purple curtains were overt symbolism. They’re MOOD you philistine. Anyway. It’s relateable to anyone who’s been tormented by a bird after everyone they love dies of consumption. So maybe just Poe.
I Just Wanted a Nap
Image via Make a Meme
This is the most relatable part of the poem to me. This guy is just trying to take a nice depression nap because his lover died, and now there’s this whole bird situation he has to deal with. Even if it wasn’t talking, a bird inside the house is a whole mess. It’s like all those videos of people trying to chase owls out of their houses. Never mind that this one’s basically dragging him. Can’t a guy get a break? I mean, it’s not like he killed her, there’s no need to rub it in.
Finely Aged Memes
Image via iFunny
Sure, the Netflix and chill meme is deader than Lenore (Netflix has even made jokes about it – yikes), but this actually sounds like a great date. Take me to your wine cellar! I kid. I’d rather watch mortar dry. The nap thing though, that’s a gem of an idea. I’m taking notes. Who doesn’t want to sleep? Plus, it’s cost effective. Perfect for students, really. Poe was ahead of his time. What a relatable man.
Misery Hates Company
Image via Reddit
Sure, it sucks to be alone when you’re sad, but maybe not as much as it sucks to be yelled at by some guy. *New York voice* I’m moping here! But really, you could at least be like… sorry bro. Sucks. Or just say nothing. Was nothing maybe the right thing to say? Just repeating yourself without explanation would be annoying enough at the best of times, but when someone’s mourning it’s just kind of a dick move. What’s your goal, bird?
A Sensible Reaction
Image via Tumblr
Have you seen those SNL skits where people are professing their love and the object of their affection is just like… ok. This has a very similar energy. Also this CLASSIC tweet, when the word limit was expanded. I mean, if a raven came into my house and started shouting I’d either befriend it or chase it out, there’s no need to lose your mind over it, as this Twitter denizen proves. Again, and maybe this says more about me than about Poe, but if some bird was yelling at me in my own house I’d yell right back. Get outa here.
Image via Memedroid
Okay, great shot, but I do hope they then took the cigarette. The last thing a person needs is to be harassed by a bird with a nicotine addiction. I also think that’s a crow, not a raven, though. Still, semantics – ultimately they’re both harbingers of death or whatever. Fun fact – I’m sure everyone knows it’s a murder of crows, but the term for a group of ravens is an unkindness. The titular raven really represents that spirit, too. I don’t exactly approve, but still, what an icon.
Featured image via Psychedelic Quirky Moose
Halloween is approaching fast and the time is nigh for costume planning! It’s time for us nerds to shine. Let’s pull out all the stops and don the best for 2019!
To hell with the zombies, sexy nurses, and my GOD if I see one more Harley Quinn I’ll…(no disrespect for Harley though, gotta love her!) You understand though. Let’s be original people!
Here are the nine best Halloween costumes for 2019!
9. Nosferatu – Vic or Manx
images via Amc
There’s been a lot of people talking about the new show Nos4A2, a crime and horror tale that puts a spin on the Vampire genre. The show is based on the 2013 novel by Joe Hill, NOS4A2. It tells the thrilling story of Vic McQueen, a woman with supernatural abilities, who crosses paths with the evil and immortal Charlie Manx—a supernatural villain who feeds off the souls of children and then sends them to another realm. Vic strives to defeat Manx and rescue his victims.
Halloween is always a great time for Vampires and monsters, but now it doesn’t have to be a last minute excuse for a costume. Go all out and replicate your favorite character’s costume, or just throw on some fangs.
images via fox & Literary Hub
It wouldn’t be Halloween if there wasn’t something scary, but people’s sense of horror are so different nowadays. For some, a bloodthirsty, supernatural demonic being will bring on nightmares, but for others, a simple clown with a bad case of the flesh-eating munchies will scare them to death!
So pick your clown, grab some balloons, and be ready to show off those pearly whites!
7. The Joker
Image via CinemaBlend
This Halloween may be the perfect time for clowns to make a comeback! Not only did we have the It: Chapter 2 released, but we have another film coming out that’s centered around a crazy clown. This October 4th, DC will be releasing the highly anticipated film Joker. Have him dancing, cracking jokes, or trying to take over Gotham City, the Joker is the perfect choice for Halloween!
6. Miles Morales
Image via SyFy Wire
With the deal between Sony and Marvel being cut, fans of the MCU may have to say good-bye to the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. However, not all is lost for fans of both the comics and films—we still have the Spiderverse and, most importantly, Miles Morales! Everyone talks about the original webslinger, Peter Parker, or one of the others Spider-Men (or should I say people), Gwen Stacy, but Miles Morales needs a little more loving, making him a fantastic and original choice for a Halloween costume!
5. Game Of Thrones (Family Costume)
Images via TVweb and Sporcle
Bring the whole family together this Halloween by dressing up as your favorite family from Game of Thrones! Every family has their issues, and this Halloween you can enjoy the relief of realizing that your family is not as bad as most of these families…I hope.
4. The Witcher
Image via Reddit
Fantasy and gaming fans have a lot to look forward to this December with Netflix’s series The Witcher being released. Unleash your inner beast hunter by donning the armor of Geralt of Rivia. The origin of Halloween was to dress up to ward away evil spirits, with this costume ward away your fear of evil spirits, clowns, immortal beings prying on children, and just about anything else!
image via Moviephone
Riverdale is hot right now, and, no, I’m not talking about the steamy scenes. So if you’re addicted to the teenage, crime, mystery drama, and are thinking about going with a less horrifying costume, why not something from Riverdale? There’s a choice for everyone: the jock, the prep, the princess, the delinquent, and the serial killer too!
2. Edgar Allan Poe
image via Lansing State Journal
Edgar Allan Poe had a huge impact on writing and on numerous writers. Til this day he still remains a huge part of our culture and this year especially brought some well deserved attention to the master of macabre. There was not only a Pop figure of him created, but also several YA authors reimagined his work, translating his tales into the modern age. All of this just goes to show that Poe is loved more than ever before, so don his likeness this Halloween and you’ll be the talk of midnight, forever-more!
1. Good Omens (couple costume, because we know they are OTP!)
image via Refinery29
Every Halloween party needs a good couple’s cosplay, but if you haven’t found the Crowley to your Aziraphale, your prayers could be answered this Halloween!
If none these costume ideas are book nerdy enough for you, you can always try your hand at creating an Em Dash costume.
Featured Image via The Fandomentals