Tag: Dumbledore

5 Times Harry Grinds Our Gears in ‘Goblet of Fire’

Fifteen years ago today, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out in theaters. Though this adaptation of the fourth book in Rowling’s Harry Potter series is wonderful, there are times, in both the book and movie, where Harry tends to strike a nerve. Let’s face it, Harry may be the chosen one, but he’s not the brightest wizard of his age. Here is a list of the five times Harry grinds our gears in Goblet.

 

 

1. Harry doesn’t study

 

 

You would think that procrastination is Harry’s favorite sport, rather than Quidditch, with how passionately he attempts to avoid studying at all costs. He and Ron rely on Hermione far too much to pass their exams, and, while it is a normal teenage endeavor to fall back on the notes of your most studious friend, preparing for the Triwizard Tournament is an entirely different monster. The stakes of the game are to win or to invite injury, as well as defeat, and yet Harry evades investigating the ins and outs of a successful trial by fire (Goblet of Fire, that is) at every turn. Thank goodness for his invaluable luck, where help seems to fall in his lap by way of Hagrid spilling secrets, the loyalty of Cedric Diggory, and the effort of friends: Dobby (in the book) or Neville (in the movie).

 

2. Harry critiques everyone’s outfit at the Yule Ball

 

 

Okay, so he does this silently in his mind, and that’s much different from telling someone to their face how ghastly their ensemble is, but still we have a window into his thoughts. Harry laughs at Ron’s dress robes, refers to Hagrid’s suit as “hairy and horrible,” McGonagall’s tartan as “ugly,” and Malfoy’s cronies as “two moss covered boulders.” Granted, the last one is quite satisfying and these observations bring some humor to the text, but we’re still not used to seeing such a blunt critique from Harry’s point of view.

 

3. Harry has shallow reasons for rejecting dates

 

 

Harry did have one special girl on his mind (Cho Chang), and though she was eventually unavailable, all other females in Harry’s eyes were dimmed by her light. Three girls ultimately asked him to the ball, yet he rejected them all on the grounds that he didn’t know them and he was holding out hope for Cho. When an unidentified fifth year asked Harry to the yule ball, he turned her down with the simple explanation, “She was a foot taller than me. Imagine what I’d look like trying to dance with her.” According to harrypotterfandom.com, “Harry also described her as looking as though she might knock him out if he refused her invitation.” He does later, in his final desperation, attend the dance with Parvati Patel, though he treats her as nothing more than a ticket to gawk at Cho dancing with Cedric.

 

 

4. Harry Shares the trophy with cedric

 

 

This one is no fault of his own, but it’s still the most cringe-worthy and painful regardless. Harry was doing a good deed and being fair by sharing the trophy with Cedric, something more akin to that of Hufflepuff than Gryffindor. And for someone who almost attacked his competitor, to assist him at the end like this is making a complete one-eighty. However, if there was one moment that we wish Harry had been selfish, it’s this one. There was no reason for Cedric to be there with Voldemort, and had he not touched the goblet at the same moment as Harry, it’s unlikely that the graveyard scene would have gone differently. The only thing worse than a literary character’s death is a senseless one. Harry couldn’t have known that the goblet was a portkey, yet each time we watch Harry decide to be benevolent at the worst possible moment, the good and light part of our literary soul dies along with Cedric.

 

5. “Harry! DID YAH PUT YAH NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH?!”

 

 

Alright, this one’s just for fun, but how could I not broach the moment when Harry is verbally assaulted by Dumbledore about “putting his name in the Goblet of Fire?” Though this one isn’t on Harry by a long shot, it’s the single most excruciating grind-your-gears moment in the film, and it’s actually pretty hilarious how contradicting Dumbledore’s on-screen presence is from his “calm” inquiry of Harry in the novel.

There you have it! The five ways in which Harry grinds our gears in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Now, you can celebrate the fifteenth anniversary of its premiere by diving into the movie once again, and procrastinating along with Harry throughout each of the Triwizard tasks!

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Harry Potter’s Evanna Lynch Discusses Activisim

Our favorite Ravenclaw, Luna Lovegood, believes herself to be a true Gryffindor in real life. The actress, Evanna Lynch, is an animal activist and she is currently fighting for owls that are being used as lab rats at John Hopkins University.

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Harry Potter and The COVID-19 Crisis

What? Didn’t you read the little-known eighth book in the Harry Potter series? I am, of course, sadly kidding. It seems Harry Potter may have been the perfect model for the #StayHome movement, though, according to Stephen Colbert and Harry himself, Daniel Radcliffe. Radcliffe appeared on Colbert’s (remote) Late Show on Tuesday night to fill us all in on what has kept him busy during the quarantine. Spoiler alert: it’s not magic.

Colbert points out that Harry Potter may be the perfect model for those of us facing quarantine restrictions. Harry was confined to his cupboard under the stairs for ELEVEN YEARS!! Stephen even jokes that Daniel’s eleven days of isolation pale in comparison. Truly, if Harry could handle life under the stairs, we can handle a couple of weeks in apartments and houses!

Those of you in New York City though, your apartments kind of are cupboards under the stairs.

 

Radcliffe says that the message from the books, as he remembers it, was “isolate yourself and wash your hands” and honestly, it’s one that we should all be taking to heart. Harry Potter’s cultural influence is such that it is often a recurring motif in times of unrest, worry, or panic, with many turning to the words of Hogwarts’ wisest wizard for solace:

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only ...

 

 

Dark times lie ahead of us, and there must be a time when we must ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

images via pinterest

In case you were wondering how the Chosen One is keeping busy, he’s building a LEGO set of Jurassic Park. You can catch a glimpse of his structural masterpiece at 9:27. Radcliffe’s appearance on Stephen at Home was not entirely smooth sailing, either. No amount of wizardry could make Daniel’s audio function at the beginning of the interview, instead, it was technological magic that saved the day. It still makes for hilarious viewing and a surefire way to lift the quarantine blues.

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5 Philosopher’s Stone Memes

I know I know, half of you are scandalized, but today, on the eighteenth anniversary of the film release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, how am I supposed to bring sorcery into it? Apparently american children in 1997 thought philosophy was for nerds. You know what’s for nerds? Harry Potter. There are a lot of ways to reminisce about the only movie where they actually wear robes, but we’re internet people second, here at Bookstr. I think you know where this is going.

Flawless Logic 

Image via QuickMeme 

Alright, I was the same age as Harry when I first read this book, and not much older when I saw the movie, but what was Dumbledore’s thinking here? I admit I don’t remember all the details, but you basically can’t get into Gringotts, and you certainly can’t get out. And that’s under normal circumstances! They couldn’t throw another dragon or two in front of the thing? And let me ask you this: did they ever try dragons against Voldemort in the first place? I don’t care how much of an evil badass you are or whatever, what are you really going to do with ten tonnes of angry fire lizard in front of you? I know they threw dragons at children in the fourth book, but without warning? Please. I just want to know they tried it. And I know Hogwarts is supposed to be pretty safe, but even without all the later counter-evidence, I’d wonder. 

 

Actually, What Did He Do? 

Image via Inverse 

This is a dazzling take, obviously, and there’s a lot to unpack, but really it just made me wonder what Malfoy’s dad like… does. Sure, he’s a Death Eater, but not every second, and how much Death Eater work is there to do while Voldemort’s presumed dead? I know he’s very busy being privileged and racist and hearing about things Potter does, but what does he do the rest of the time? Just sit around the house being angry about things and making house elves miserable? For real, it’s never mentioned that he works at the ministry or anything. We really don’t know anything about how the Malfoys got so powerful, or about what they do now. It never bothered me before, but now it’s driving me crazy. I also absolutely love the suggestion that he invented toaster strudel. Invented it! It’s so random and so muggle centric. Priceless. 

 

More Great Ideas! 

Image via Inverse 

Alright, so you’re not allowed to go into the forest, because it’s STUPID dangerous, and you’d definitely die. Also, it’s even more dangerous than usual because someone’s going around killing and eating unicorns. Never go there! Wait, out after dark, maybe risking their lives trying to relocate an illegal dragon for the groundskeeper? Well, why don’t you do something even more dangerous for that very same groundskeeper? It’s like, oh, you’re smoking? How about some meth? That’ll teach you. I mean, I guess they learn something, but it’s not their lesson, I think the rest of the story can attest. And the second they’re in the forest, Hagrid is like, you know what? Let’s split the party. Best witch with me! Here’s my dog, try not to die. And then, not only are they in danger, but it’s literal Voldemort, running around in the woods right by the school. Who’s keeping track of school safety around here? 

 

We Don’t Judge. Or Use Judgement. 

Image via Inverse 

Look, I know the twins are chill as it gets, but they really should have noticed this. Don’t judge, that’s great! But bring it up, please? Did they see it and go “aww, Ron has a friend” like, shouldn’t they know there’s noone named Peter in his year? They’re only a year or so above, and there are like five boys in his class, how would they not realise? Especially when this guy goes everywhere with Ron? I know what you’re going to say. Why would they ever actively check where Ron is? Well, if they want to sneak out of the tower, wouldn’t they need to know everyone else was asleep? And why weren’t they even a little worried any of the times Ron was just AWOL in the middle of the night? I know they support making poor discipline related choices, but he’s a baby, aren’t they worried? Have they ever walked right past him when he’s in the invisibility cloak? What did they think then, I beg of you? 

 

Sass Trio 

Image via Someecards 

These nerds had their moments. We all like to talk about Harry, as we should. “No need to call me sir, Professor” was the line of a generation, and I like him telling Snape that Ron’s misspelled name is a nickname. They say a lot of stuff to Snape. But I don’t think Hermione gets enough credit. She has fewer moments, sure, but they’re absolutely metal. Remember when she bitch slapped Malfoy, muggle style? Your fave could never. And what’s Malfoy going to do, tell his father? Hi dad, today I was slapped at wizard school. It would never occur to someone who’s always had magic right there. I’m honestly just sad she never slapped him again. Oh, sure, she could outspell him too, she’s a much better caster, but there’s just such a big energy about hitting that dude in the face. Classic. 

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