What? Didn’t you read the little-known eighth book in the Harry Potter series? I am, of course, sadly kidding. It seems Harry Potter may have been the perfect model for the #StayHome movement, though, according to Stephen Colbert and Harry himself, Daniel Radcliffe. Radcliffe appeared on Colbert’s (remote) Late Show on Tuesday night to fill us all in on what has kept him busy during the quarantine. Spoiler alert: it’s not magic.
Colbert points out that Harry Potter may be the perfect model for those of us facing quarantine restrictions. Harry was confined to his cupboard under the stairs for ELEVEN YEARS!! Stephen even jokes that Daniel’s eleven days of isolation pale in comparison. Truly, if Harry could handle life under the stairs, we can handle a couple of weeks in apartments and houses!
Those of you in New York City though, your apartments kind of are cupboards under the stairs.
Radcliffe says that the message from the books, as he remembers it, was “isolate yourself and wash your hands” and honestly, it’s one that we should all be taking to heart. Harry Potter’s cultural influence is such that it is often a recurring motif in times of unrest, worry, or panic, with many turning to the words of Hogwarts’ wisest wizard for solace:
images via pinterest
In case you were wondering how the Chosen One is keeping busy, he’s building a LEGO set of Jurassic Park. You can catch a glimpse of his structural masterpiece at 9:27. Radcliffe’s appearance on Stephen at Home was not entirely smooth sailing, either. No amount of wizardry could make Daniel’s audio function at the beginning of the interview, instead, it was technological magic that saved the day. It still makes for hilarious viewing and a surefire way to lift the quarantine blues.
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I know I know, half of you are scandalized, but today, on the eighteenth anniversary of the film release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, how am I supposed to bring sorcery into it? Apparently american children in 1997 thought philosophy was for nerds. You know what’s for nerds? Harry Potter. There are a lot of ways to reminisce about the only movie where they actually wear robes, but we’re internet people second, here at Bookstr. I think you know where this is going.
Image via QuickMeme
Alright, I was the same age as Harry when I first read this book, and not much older when I saw the movie, but what was Dumbledore’s thinking here? I admit I don’t remember all the details, but you basically can’t get into Gringotts, and you certainly can’t get out. And that’s under normal circumstances! They couldn’t throw another dragon or two in front of the thing? And let me ask you this: did they ever try dragons against Voldemort in the first place? I don’t care how much of an evil badass you are or whatever, what are you really going to do with ten tonnes of angry fire lizard in front of you? I know they threw dragons at children in the fourth book, but without warning? Please. I just want to know they tried it. And I know Hogwarts is supposed to be pretty safe, but even without all the later counter-evidence, I’d wonder.
Actually, What Did He Do?
Image via Inverse
This is a dazzling take, obviously, and there’s a lot to unpack, but really it just made me wonder what Malfoy’s dad like… does. Sure, he’s a Death Eater, but not every second, and how much Death Eater work is there to do while Voldemort’s presumed dead? I know he’s very busy being privileged and racist and hearing about things Potter does, but what does he do the rest of the time? Just sit around the house being angry about things and making house elves miserable? For real, it’s never mentioned that he works at the ministry or anything. We really don’t know anything about how the Malfoys got so powerful, or about what they do now. It never bothered me before, but now it’s driving me crazy. I also absolutely love the suggestion that he invented toaster strudel. Invented it! It’s so random and so muggle centric. Priceless.
More Great Ideas!
Image via Inverse
Alright, so you’re not allowed to go into the forest, because it’s STUPID dangerous, and you’d definitely die. Also, it’s even more dangerous than usual because someone’s going around killing and eating unicorns. Never go there! Wait, out after dark, maybe risking their lives trying to relocate an illegal dragon for the groundskeeper? Well, why don’t you do something even more dangerous for that very same groundskeeper? It’s like, oh, you’re smoking? How about some meth? That’ll teach you. I mean, I guess they learn something, but it’s not their lesson, I think the rest of the story can attest. And the second they’re in the forest, Hagrid is like, you know what? Let’s split the party. Best witch with me! Here’s my dog, try not to die. And then, not only are they in danger, but it’s literal Voldemort, running around in the woods right by the school. Who’s keeping track of school safety around here?
We Don’t Judge. Or Use Judgement.
Image via Inverse
Look, I know the twins are chill as it gets, but they really should have noticed this. Don’t judge, that’s great! But bring it up, please? Did they see it and go “aww, Ron has a friend” like, shouldn’t they know there’s noone named Peter in his year? They’re only a year or so above, and there are like five boys in his class, how would they not realise? Especially when this guy goes everywhere with Ron? I know what you’re going to say. Why would they ever actively check where Ron is? Well, if they want to sneak out of the tower, wouldn’t they need to know everyone else was asleep? And why weren’t they even a little worried any of the times Ron was just AWOL in the middle of the night? I know they support making poor discipline related choices, but he’s a baby, aren’t they worried? Have they ever walked right past him when he’s in the invisibility cloak? What did they think then, I beg of you?
Image via Someecards
These nerds had their moments. We all like to talk about Harry, as we should. “No need to call me sir, Professor” was the line of a generation, and I like him telling Snape that Ron’s misspelled name is a nickname. They say a lot of stuff to Snape. But I don’t think Hermione gets enough credit. She has fewer moments, sure, but they’re absolutely metal. Remember when she bitch slapped Malfoy, muggle style? Your fave could never. And what’s Malfoy going to do, tell his father? Hi dad, today I was slapped at wizard school. It would never occur to someone who’s always had magic right there. I’m honestly just sad she never slapped him again. Oh, sure, she could outspell him too, she’s a much better caster, but there’s just such a big energy about hitting that dude in the face. Classic.
The internet is full of strange and wonderful things, and it seems like everyone online has more talent in their pinkie than I do in my whole body. I love it. There’s a wonderfully large community for book cover redesigns, and every cover re-designers should probably have professional book design jobs. You may ask, will we ever have enough designs for Harry Potter dust jackets? These artists don’t seem to think so.
1. Art Deco Redesign by asheaths on Tumblr
These are simple but punchy, and they would make beautiful display copies. The shelf envy would be so real. Designs for the spines weren’t included, but even stacked they’d be gorgeous.
Images via Tumblr
2. Stylized German Book Covers by Olly Moss
These designs may seem more traditional, but don’t let the clean simplicity of the art style fool you. Through details and color, these covers convey the feeling of each book like you’re reading them again for the first time.
Images via Tumblr
3. Glow In The Dark Cutouts by Kincso Nagy
The piece de resistance—cutout and luminous, these copies glow inside and out. Beautiful cutouts back by luminescent paint, popup illustrations, and pretty matte covers make these outrageously beautiful. I want a hundred.
This day, July 8th, saw the original publication of two Harry Potter novels: The Prisoner of Azkabanin 1999 and The Goblet of Fire in 2000. Both were huge milestones for the series, representing the continued evolution of the Potterverse into darker, more complex territory than the comparatively straightforward, whimsical first two novels (The Philosopher’s Stoneand The Chamber of Secrets.) The books were both bestsellers, Azkaban selling three million in the United Kingdom alone, and Goblet of Fire selling over five million copies. Each book received positive reviews, especially Azkaban, praised for its excellent character development as the characters become teenagers, leaving behind their child selves. The Goblet of Fire meanwhile won the Hugo Award in 2001, the only Harry Potter novel to do so.
Image via Amazon
Prisoner of Azkaban chronicles Harry’s third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As he begins the new year, a dangerous convict known as Sirius Black escapes from the dreaded prison Azkaban. Black is thought to be an associate of Voldemort, and so Hogwarts is guarded by Dementors, as the teachers believe Black will seek out Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. While dealing with this, Harry must deal with the regular perils of teenage life: increased schoolwork, feelings for girls, and a hidden secret Hermione is carrying around with her.
The Goblet of Fire tells the story of Harry taking part in the massive Triwizard Tournament, a huge competition between Hogwarts and rival schools over the course of the semester. Harry’s name appeared in the Goblet of Fire (the method by which contestants are selected) under mysterious circumstances ad Harry must deal with the tournament’s various challenges, such as stealing eggs from an angry dragon, diving beneath the Hogwarts Lake to rescue trapped students, and make his way through a monster infested, booby trapped maze to claim the Triwizard Cup. All the while, dark forces plot in the background, growing steadily throughout the school year.
Image Via Amazon
Film adaptations of the two books were released in 2004 and 2005 respectively. Prisoner of Azkaban grossed $796 million, as well as earning critical acclaim and further embracing the change of tone for the series by embracing a new, more darker style for the overall work. Goblet of Fire earned similar acclaim, grossing $897 million. Both were among the highest grossing, best reviewed films of their respective years, enforcing the overall popularity of the ongoing fantasy series.
Both works deepened the Potterverse, introducing iconic characters and creatures, while planting the seeds for the epic saga centering around the rise of Lord Voldemort. Celebrate their original releases and read the original books again!
It’s Teacher Appreciation Week here at Bookstr and you should be appreciating the teachers across the world! Teachers face extremely difficult jobs, having to manage large classes and educate with often little reward. To showcase what makes teachers so special, let’s examine the teachers of Harry Potter, ranking them from the worst to the best. Now, this is just on their merit’s as teachers, not on them as individuals or people, merely on their skills in the classroom. Who are the best and who are the worst? Let’s dive in and find out!
10. Dolores Umbridge
Image via Harry Potter wiki
Holding the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Dolores Umbridge was unquestionably the worst in the series history, both as a professor (and a human being but let’s stick to the rules!) Despite her sickly sweet demeanor, Dolores Umbridge was appointed by the Ministry of Magic to oversee the school and her presence was instantly an oppressive one. A vicious bully and tormentor, she inflicted harsh punishments on her students for misbehavior, including making Harry carve the words “I MUST NOT TELL LIES” over and over again into his own skin! She also created a hostile work environment, expressed outright contempt for Hogwarts education system, and consistently challenged Dumbledore’s authority, which just made her a terrible professor. And she even refused to teach her students Defense Against the Dark Arts, making her outright useless as a source of education! Umbridge is unquestionably a terrible professor and not one you should admire. At all.
9. Severus Snape
Image via Potter talk
The Potions master until Order of the Phoenix and then Half-Blood Prince, Snape is now admired for his love for Lily Potter and for secretly protecting Harry during his time at Hogwarts. But there’s no doubt he was a horrible teacher, downright abusive towards Harry and exhibiting favoritism towards Slytherin. He bullies students constantly, especially Harry, Neville, and Ron, putting them on the spot with difficult questions and making them feel constant anxiety in his presence. It’s not fair for Snape to pick on his students as much as he does, especially for a grudge he should have gotten over a long time ago. While he may be a good person deep down, Snape has too many issues to make him a valuable teacher.
8. Gilderoy Lockhart
Image via Pottermore
Lockhart skated by on good looks, charm and blatant lies. Lockhart wrote about encounters with dark creatures, painting himself as a perfect hero, easily able to dispatch fearsome monsters the world over, but all the books he wrote were actually fabrications and completely false. This made him a useless educator when he was hired for position of Defense Against the Dark Arts, often making a buffoon of himself and skating by on the skin of his teeth. When he was asked to kill the Basilisk terrorizing Hogwarts, Lockhart attempted to flee, clearly showing once and for all that he was utterly unqualified for his job.
7. Horace Slughorn
Image via Harry Potter wiki
The Potions master, Slughorn wasn’t a horrible professor but he wasn’t a good one either. He generally played favorites with students, hosting club meetings for students who could pull favors for him after graduation. Slughorn put himself above his students, being more self-serving than anything else, but he was at least competent as a professor and gave Harry a more positive experience as a Potions professor than Snape ever did.
6. Filius FLitwick
Image via Pininterest
A supportive mentor to his students, Filius was a middle of the road professor, neither particularly good nor particularly bad. But he was always very nice to his classes, teaching them spells as best he could. Although not a massive presence in the books, what little we saw of Flitwick led us to believe he would be a perfectly acceptable professor, just not a particularly memorable one. Which, sometimes, is the best you can ask for!
5. Rubeus Hagrid
Image via Harry Potter wiki
The half-giant and beloved friend to Harry, Hagrid was a kind educator who had a deep love for the creatures of the wizarding world. He turned this passion into the official professor for Care of Magical Creatures, allowing students the opportunity for a hands on approach to caring for monsters and critters. He had a very deep knowledge of monsters, allowing him to provide his students with an intimate look at them. However, his deep love of creatures sometimes made him underestimate how dangerous they could be, resulting in a few potentially deadly encounters during his time as a professor.
4. Rolanda Hooch
Image via Harry Potter Wiki
A valuable teacher to her students, Madame Hooch taught her students how to fly and play Quidditch, a dangerous game that required a firm hand to prevent students from crashing or killing each other. Hooch was up to the task, providing a stern and competent presence who punish students harshly but encouraged them deeply for their successes. Under her tutelage, Harry became a very wizard of the skies and always stayed calm, even as she was being screamed at for providing calls people didn’t like as a referee during Quidditch matches.
3. Pomona Sprout
Image via Bustle
Pomona Sprout is a great professor who doesn’t get a lot of screen time but her lesson plans and overall demeanor showcase her as one of the best teachers despite her limited appearances. She follows a logical profession, getting her students used to ‘easy’ magic plants before working them up slowly towards the harder stuff, while making sure everyone is safe and creating a fun environment at the same time with her hands on approach to herbology. She’s pretty great and we only wish we saw more of her at work in the greenhouse.
2. Remus Lupin
Image via Bustle
One of the best professors and no doubt the best teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lupin heads the class during Prisoner of Azakaban. Very knowledgable in his studies, Remus Lupin creates a hands on atmosphere to the work he performs in the classroom, allowing students the opportunity to apply their skills in a practical, yet controlled setting, testing them against real dangers without putting them in actual danger. He’s also humorous, wise, and very down to earth, even taking the Hogwarts Express to get to know the student body better. Unfortunately, his one flaw is that he’s a werewolf and results in his eventual resignation. Although he takes steps to control his other side, unfortunately being a werewolf is a very serious risk on campus and although he never hurt anyone, he could have. Still, Lupin remains one of the best teachers at Hogwarts and a presence we to which it was incredibly difficult to bid farewell.
1. Minerva Mcgonagall
Image via Vulture
Minerva is the best professor at Hogwarts, with a tough, no nonsense, and fearless disposition as professor of Transfiguration and Deputy Headmistress, the type of teacher who will challenge you but doesn’t play favorites and always is fair to you in the end no matter who you are. She loves all her students despite her hard shell, and only pushes them to make them excel. While many students are scared of her initially but learn to love her when they truly understand her. She’s a staple at Hogwarts during Harry’s time and becomes a true leader to the student body, just as beloved as Dumbledore. We love you!