Tag: Dracula

Five Moody Castlevania Memes

There isn’t enough of the Castlevania anime, and there aren’t enough Castlevania memes, but I’m here to at least bring you a few.

 

It’s Me

Image via Know Your Meme

 

 

Me In Class

Image via Reddit

I first rejected this as being barely a joke. The bell part is the only part that connects! But I just kept thinking about it. I’ve laughed in class because I’ve randomly remembered a meme. People do not appreciate it. He’s a bell. Look at his face. Really an underappreciated meme, even by me.

 

Curses Can Be Flirting

Image via Pinterest

You know, honestly? Any one of these three could seduce me with their history knowledge. Obviously Alucard lived some of it, and Sypha reads so many books. They should be writing the history books, not just talking about them. And what an opening line. Hi, want to hear about my history book? Girl, yes. I really really do.

 

They Support It?

Image via Ali’s Cringe Den

This never really made sense to me. Like, ok. Dracula is kind of a nihilist, so I can see why he’d want this. But what about the humans? Like, it tried to give them pretty good motivation, but it still seems like they’ll be killed, just, like, last. And what about the vampires who help him? What in the world do they think they’re gonna eat when there are no humans? How did Drac get people on this wagon in the first place?

 

Tag Yourself!

 
Image via Tumblr

Okay, so obviously I’m Sypha, but I’m just her in general. We STAN a magic nerd, I swear. Like, if I could choose between that and being like, a knight or whatever, or being a vampire, you know what I’m choosing. Did I just out myself as the kind of person who always plays a mage? Whatever, it’s true. All of these are entire moods, though.

 

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Featured image via Reddit 2

Five Sanguinary Dracula Memes

Dracula memes never die.

 

I mean… Yeah

I love vampire movies or whatever when this happens. They’re like… you don’t understand… a stake through the heart could KILL ME. I always want the humans in question to be like, yeah princess, me too. It’s like that post about how a duck could kill you. A stake through the heart will probably take care of most people. You’re not special.

 

Read Me

I’ve gotta love this take of his. He’s like, you absolutely read me for filth. You’re savage, and you’re right. Marry me. I mean, we stan that vibe. She’s mean and I love her? He drank his respecting women juice. I mean, I guess. At the very least he likes mean women. We as a society have slept on mean women for too long. Chef’s kiss.

 

Head Cannon

I like to imagine this is what happened instead of the coffin on the ship. Just exclusively nocturnal unicycling across europe. It’s not like he needs to breathe. English channel whom? He doesn’t need a boat. Plus, this approach is way more menacing. Also, accurate. Here he comes. Dat boi. What’s up? Nothing good, I can tell you that.

 

But Like… At Night

Honestly the last line is what got me. Like, no, you may not, but I love how natural they make it seem in context and then you’re like… ayeee…. you’re asking because you HAVE to. I mean, no, I don’t want to talk about dracula, but I’m never awake during the day anyway, and I could definitely put relative invulnerability to use. I’d at least give them my email address.

 

Bad Content

Honestly I kind of just included this one because I (love) hate it. Who made this, and so recently that it could be searchable? We’ll never ever escape from Shrek. This is how we live now. It’s all smash mouth, and swamps. I also just love the idea of how bombastic this is. It’s like the opposite energy of the original. Very weird.


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Images via Tumblr

Elisabeth Moss Can’t Run from ‘The Invisible Man’ in New Trailer

Based on H.G. Wells’ classic novel of the same name, The Invisible Man was a horror film released in the 1930’s about a scientist who decides to make himself invisible but goes crazy after he succeeds, resulting in a reign of terror. The film is now a part of the Universal Classic Monsters series along with Frankenstein, The Wolfman, and Dracula.

 

Image Via IMDb

 

A remake of the film had been planned to be a part of Universal’s “Dark Universe,” which would tie in all of their monster characters into a shared universe, with Johnny Depp as the title character. But after the first film in the series, 2017’s The Mummy starring Tom Cruise, was a financial failure, the plans for an interconnected universe were scrapped. Two years later, a stand-alone remake without Depp was in the works, and now we have a trailer.

 

 

Starring Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale), this modern day version of The Invisible Man sees Moss’ character Cecilia trying to rebuild her life after her abusive ex-boyfriend, Adrian, commits suicide. Soon after, she experiences strange happenings and believes she is being haunted by her ex in an invisible form, questioning her sanity along the way.

Oliver Jackson-Cohen (The Haunting of Hill House) plays Adrian. Storm Reid (A Wrinkle In Time) and Aldis Hodge (Hidden Figures) also star.

 

Watch the trailer here:

 

 

Here is the teaser poster:

 

 
Image Via IMDb

 

 

The Invisible Man releases February 2020.

 

 

 

Featured Images Via Geeks Worldwide

Pick A Halloween Candy And We’ll Give You A Book!

 

 

11 of Literature’s Worst Monsters

You read the title, now let’s get going!

But first, let’s set up one rule: all of the monsters on this list have to be fictional. No non-fiction real people. No, “I read a book on Manson and he was evil so why is he not on this list?” No. All these people are fiction, figments of an author’s imagination.

With that said, let’s start off with:

 

 

11-Carmelita Spats

Carmelita Spats (TAA)

Image Via Lemony Snicket Wiki – Fandom

 

I have nothing against children (that’s a lie), but she’s just plain EVIL! From the first pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy, you know this girl is trouble, and she is. Duncan and Isadora, two orphans already at the academy, are forced to live in a shack due to not having parents or guardians to sign the permission slip for the dorms. Carmelita begins referring to their shack as the Orphans Shack.

And that’s before our trio, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, make their way into the story.

When she and Violet have the same class, Carmelita takes it upon herself to poke Violet with a stick and whisper “orphan” every few minutes. Plus, she takes it upon herself to remind the orphans that, well, they’re orphans. Even worst, she calls them “cakesniffers!”, a confusing but still ultimately insulting jab at their…lack of cake?

 

Cakesniffer!
Image Via Pinterest

 

Come The Slippery Slope, Carmelita  meets Olaf and Esmé Squalor face to face. Without a second thought, she abandons her parents and becomes their child.

Think about it. Her parents sent her to Prufrock Preporatory, a boarding school. I know rich people send most of their kids away for boarding school, but this just stinks that her parents don’t even like Carmelita, and honestly, who could blame them?

When Olaf and Esmé have our trio in their grasp they discuss which Baudelaire to leave alive for the fortune, and Carmelita suggests keeping Violet so they can tie her hair to things.

In the Grim Grotto, Olaf shows his human side with his annoyance at this little monster. Who can blame him? Every moment she’s on the page she just shows off how bratty she is.

 

You’re a cakesniffer and she eats cake! / Image Via Lemony Snicket Wiki – Fandom

 

Come The Penultimate Peril we’re on Olaf’s side when he abandons her and Esmé, since Esmé refuses to discipline the girl and Carmelita needs to be taken out back and shot Old Yeller-style.

What does Carmelita do next? She submits a book about how wonder she is to be used as evidence in a potential trial against Count Olaf and the Baudelaires.

Disloyal, wicked, and evil, Carmelita is a true monster. Don’t beleive me yet? Here’s the song she sings over and over again in The Grim Grotto:

C is for ‘cute’

A is for ‘adorable’!

R is for ‘ravishing’!

M is for ‘gorgeous’!

E is for ‘excellent’!

L is for ‘lovable’!

I is for ‘I’m the best’!

T is for ‘talented’!

and A is for ‘a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian’!

Now let’s sing my whole wonderful song all over again!

 

10-The White Witch

The White Witch
Image Via Wikipedia

 

The main antagonist of The Magician’s Nephew and of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Jadis is cold hearted demon. Not only did she murder God (Aslan), she enslaved Narnia to a thousand year winter. That wouldn’t be so bad, trees do annoy me, but she made it so it’s never Christmas but always winter.

Meanie!

To make it worse, she persuaded Edmund to turn against his friends with Turkish delight.

I have the right mind to call Jadis Judas.

 

9-Tywin

Tywin Lannister

IMage Via A Wiki of Ice and Fire – Westeros.org

 

This is hard, considering a lot of the characters in A Song of Ice and Fire are terrible people, but I say Tywin takes the cake. Yes, Joffrey is a psychopath, but Tywin is worse. Here’s why:

He emotionally abuses Tyrion

He uses Cersei as a brood mare

He sends The Mountain off and “didn’t know” that the Mountain would rape/kill Elia Martell and bash her two baby children against the wall.

Worst of all, Tywin is a perfectly rational person. This isn’t an issue of “bad genes” or anything like that. He was disrespected as a child, and thus he intends to never be disrespected again. Now that he’s an adult with the power he always dreamed of, he hasn’t stopped. He’s not bloodthirsty, he’s apathetic. Family is everything, and he won’t stop until he holds all the power over Westeros, no matter what the cost.

 

8-Dracula

Christopher Lee as Dracula
Image Via Birth.Movies.Death

 

I know he’s a vampire and that might be a good excuse for biting people, but going strictly off the Bram Stoker’s Dracula, The Count is kind of a monster. Yes, he has to suck blood, but I’m not going to hold that against him. At his core he’s a predator. There’s no right or wrong that comes into play here because when you need to eat, you need to eat.

So he is even on this list? Well, let’s look at what he does…

He imprisoned Jonathan Harker.

He impersonated Harker so he could commit heinous crimes in his name, despite the fact he can transform and quickly get away, not impersonation required

He slaughtered an entire ship full of men.

He preyed on Mina just to hurt Jonathan and her family

Dracula doesn’t just feed because he needs to feed, he revels in his predator status just to terrify his prey because he finds it amusing. He’s like a shark that tells you, “I’m going to eat you whole and you’re going to want to scream but you’ll be suffocating as you slide down my throat”.

Dracula takes it a one step, and a couple more, from what his nature requires.

 

 

7-Morgoth

Morgoth
IMAGE Via ArtStation

 

Morgoth, Melkor, he’s known by several different names, but either way he’s a monster. We learn that in The Silmarillion that, after falling from glory, Morgoth corrupted all those in his wake. You think Sauron is bad? Sauron works for this monster.

It was only when Morgoth, after declaring war against the Elves and Men and slaughtering much of them during the First Age, that he was bound in chains and thrown into the void, leaving Sauron to trouble the world, as we see in The Hobbit and the Lords of the Ring trilogy.

 

Morgoth
Image Via Men of the West, Youtube

 

Worst of all, according to a prophecy, Morgoth will rise again.

Morgoth, Melkor, whatever you want to call him, he’s the OG monster in Tolkien’s leafy universe.

 

6-Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman

Image Via McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

 

In a world where everyone doesn’t listen to each other and people are routinely mistaken for others, Patrick Bateman fades into the background, and he loves that fact. But, subconsciously or otherwise, he leads a double life as a murderer.

Wealthy, materialistic, this Wall Street investment banker does less time working and more time going to parties. Plus, he tortures women and poor people and gays and children. Or maybe he doesn’t, it’s left very vague whether all his killings are actually happening.

As he loses his grip on reality, there’s one pivotal scene in the novel, but not in the Christian Bale film adaptation, where Patrick Bateman gives his girlfriend a cake. Aww!

 

 

She eats it, calling it minty. Twist! Since he doesn’t like his girlfriend very much, he given her a chocolate covered urinal cake.

 

Image result for urinal cake
Image Via Metro

 

Real or imaginary, that’s…uh…ewwwww

 

5-Annie Wilkes

Annie Wilkes

Image Via Bungalower

 

Annie Wilkes is the scariest character Stephen King ever created. Obsessive, psychotic, and worst of all…human.

She only appeared in Misery, and she certainly made an impression. The embodiment of every obsessive fan out there, Annie finds popular writer Paul Sheldon after a car crash. So she kidnaps him, ties him to a bed, and refuses to let him go until he writes a book. Paul is forced to indulge her every whim lest there be tragedy consequences.

When he tires to escape, he chops off his foot with an ax and cauterizing his ankle with a blowtorch. When his typewriter breaks down, she cuts off his thumb with an electric knife. When a state trooper comes to her house, she runs him over with her riding law mower.

 

 

4-Christian Grey

Christian Grey

Image Via Inverse

 

The titular character of Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian is abusive, emotionally unstable, and an all around prick who the author doesn’t think is problematic any way.

For one, he claims he’s in BDSM but in reality he just likes hurting women who have brown hair. Like his mom “the crack whore”. When Ana tells him she’s a virgin, he stomps around the room before deciding that he has to ‘take care of it’.

Yes, he was abused by an older woman, but he refuses to say she did anything wrong. Not only does he refuse to say she did anything wrong, but you better not tell him he’s wrong or else…

He also gives Ana whine while she’s signing a contract.

 

3-Victor Frankenstein

Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Wikipedia

 

Not the monster, the doctor who created him. This scientist is the true monster of the story.

After creating life itself, Victor looks upon his creation and sees something that is clearly not human. He sees something breathing, thinking, alive, but less than perfect, and so he rejects it, shuns it from the world.

 

The creation, Adam, confronts Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Owlcation

 

The creature seeks revenge against him, but are we to blame the creature? Forced away from the one who gave it life into an unforgiving world, the creature could not thrive, only survive. His vengeance is not just wrath, it’s justice for the mistakes Victor has created.

While he regrets creating the creature, Victor does not look upon the creature with understanding. Instead he calls the creature ‘fiend’ or ‘demon’ and pursues him to the Arctic, intend to kill it. He falls through the ice and dies, warning other not to meddle with life, but failing to teach them the lesson of empathy.

 

Victor Frankenstein

Image Via Twitter

 

Cold blooded, Victor Frankenstein is the monster, the only monster, in Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.

 

2-Humbert Humbert

Humbert Humbert
Image Via Rhiannon Hart

 

Humbert Humbert uses language to seduce the readers, and he almost succeeds. But lest we forget: he’s a pedophile, obsessed over a girl he calls Lolita. That’s why the book is called Lolita.

For the record, her real name is Dolores.

Back to Humbert. He marries a woman to get closer to his daughter and, once the woman dies, he kidnaps her.

The worst of it is that Humbert Humber makes himself a sympathetic pedophile. He criticizes the vulgarity of American culture, establishing himself as an intellectual, and considers his sexuality to be a sign of his culture.

A monster, if I ever saw one, but nothing compared to our number one pick…

 

 

1-The Judge

Image Via AMazon

 

“The Judge” appears Blood Meridian very early on. We’re following the kid who goes to a revival meeting when a man bursts into the tent and tells the crowd that the preacher up on stage isn’t a real preacher, but a man wanted in three states.

The man who burst into the tent is “The Judge” and you might not know it, but he’s one you have to watch out for.

But compared to the illiterate drunken rapists surrounded you, the Judge is a breath of fresh air. Just look at that first scene! He showed everyone who that ‘preacher’ truly was. He has morals.

If you think about it, that means you’ve put your trust into this monster.

 

The Judge
Image Via PInterest

 

You see, when the Judge burst into that tent he saw the kid. He didn’t just look at him, he saw into his soul. That’s good. Cormac McCarthy never says who the Judge exactly is, if he has gone mad, but if they told me he wasn’t human, if they told me he was the personification of evil, I’d believe it.

 

The Judge

Image Via Texas Hill Country

 

 

 

Featured Image Via Youtube Channel Men of the West, Texas Hill Country, and Wikipedia