In honor of Oscar Wilde's birthday and the life he lives, check out this list on how you can simultaneously celebrate his birthday and Halloween in quarantine.
The Picture of Dorian Gray is a horrifying and hilarious masterpiece, and as with it’s author, every single thing about it is iconic. Sure, it might have been heavily redacted and then also banned, but there’s still a lot to unpack, and how better to explore gothic literature than through memes? You already know.
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This is when I admit that I never watched iCarly as a kid. Goodness only knows why, but I can see now that I really missed out. Still, the hilarity of trying to play off an ostrich needs no context, and recast as Dorian and his posse it’s a whole other level. Nothing’s up! Just being super normal over here, not selling my soul even a little. Anyone want a smoothie?
Show Your True Self
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I feel like this is a pretty modern take, actually. We’re the generation that can see a lizard just doing its thing and be like… “same, bro”. If someone had a horrifying portrait of themselves in their living room we’d think it was ironic or avant garde, or at least a big mood. What an eccentric he is! Plus, he might’ve shown a little more self control if he was looking at the consequences, even if he wasn’t wearing them.
Guess How He Looks Now
Image via Sizzle
I love how this trope started as clickbait and turned into a meme. Who cares about how child actors look now? Not me, and clearly not a lot of people, because it’s been eons since I saw a version of this that wasn’t a joke. Of course, this is a little funnier than the average fare, though. It actually manages to make me feel old, because I’m laughing at a Dorian Gray meme. No judgement. I’m just saying.
No Good Deed
Image via Gramha
You think you know someone. You paint them, you have all this sexual tension, you grant them eternal life, and what do you get as thanks? Nothing good, I’ll tell you that. It’s just like the saying. I don’t really have an excuse for using a meme this out of vogue, except to say that I still think it’s funny. We may all be used to airpods now, but I still accidentally talk to people wearing them. Not usually to warn them of their impending murder, though.
Art is so Powerful
Image via Tumblr
Basil really does get the treatment usually reserved for women burned as witches. Sure, he can do something supernatural, maybe, but on it’s face, it’s only helping Dorian. Like, no one made him act like a careless lech or drink all that. If I had a portrait that granted me eternal life, I don’t know what I’d do, but not what Dorian did for sure. Basil was just trying to be, you know, a bro.
Featured image via Dorian Gray Suggests
Was Oscar Wilde 200+ years ahead of his time? Probably. The man was so galaxy brain we don’t even need to make memes about him, everything he said is already practically a meme. You’ve gotta appreciate the sheer brilliant nonsense. Here’s some relatable content, all the way from the 1900s.
Image via Brainy Quote
Well, if they tempt you, what are you really supposed to do? Not give in? I don’t think so. We’re going to be out here, living our most decadent and ridiculous lives, just like he would have wanted. You’ve got to live your best life, and sometimes that means making whatever choices are offered.
2. That’s what friends are FOR
Image via Goalcast
I mean, if you’re going to be stabbed, at least you can do it like bros. It would be the polite thing to do. Murder doesn’t have to end a friendship. And who even said anything about murder? What are a few knife wounds between friends? It’s an allegory for betrayal anyway. Brotrayal?
3. But not too much
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‘Nuff said. Or is it? Damn you, Wilde.
4. Gotta go be cool somewhere
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Just living that cat life, writing decadent horror stories and being the icon of the century. Bored? Never. Just got things to do. What things? Who cares? If he’s doing it, he’s going to make it cool. He’s pulling off that haircut, for goodness’ sake.
5. We all know where the real party is
Image via Me.me
Not to be controversial, but — valid. I mean, Wilde’s life was not an easy one, so being denied something he never wanted anyway isn’t a big deal. It’s catchy and amusing, but Wilde is rejecting shame. Funny though. Honestly.
Image via BrainyQuote
Of course, we’ve all got legions of enemies (citation needed), so any advice a dead poet can give is going to change all of our lives for the better. Plus, this is a satisfying move. It’s low effort, and as well as getting your revenge, you get to be very smug while doing it.
7. One feel-good quote? I’M WEAK
Image via Books on the Wall
This is not as much a funny one, but it is one of my all-time favorites and always good when you’re having a moment, which is all the time for me. It’s the sort of pleasant, post-nihilistic sentiment we can always use, especially in strange times.
Featured image via The Irish Times.
If you’re anything like me, SparkNotes has always been there when you need it. Now, they’re not only helping you pass your classes, but also serving you the spiciest of literature memes. They’re all pure gold, but here are just a few.
Theseus or not, YOU. ARE. VALID.
Unfortunately there’s no third option, so if you want to set the Minotaur up on a blind date with your friend, you’re kind of out of luck. Otherwise, you’re good though. What color do your sails need to be if you didn’t slay the Minotaur but you’re seeing it this Friday?
Some people appreciate attitude
I mean, he’s already in love with her by that point, but you get the idea. He’s always talking about how mean she is, and then boom, marry me! Of course, the same could be said of her. What a stressful ship. Still though, you know, I’m on it.
Want to delay your problems forever?
Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it sure killed Dorian Gray. Still, he lived a while looking fresh and evil in stead of old and evil, so if you’ve got the attic space, why not? In this economy though? The thing’s going under the bed.
Do You haunt an old building? Then you need…
Sure, you might not be the most conventionally attractive, but your secret underground hideaway is second to none, and isn’t it what’s on the inside that matters? What’s under the surface? (What’s directly under the opera house?)
People can’t know we sit! And… murder!
Maybe not as relatable as the original video, but definitely a strong mood, and just as futile. The body stays right under the floorboards after all. If only there’d been seashells on the doorknobs, maybe things would have gone better.
Hindsight is… Ah man I botched it.
Don’t look back in anger (or at all). Going to the depths of hell is a nice gesture, and who doesn’t like musicians, but you’ve gotta stick the landing by actually fulfilling the deal. Just one opinion, but if both of you don’t come back alive, that’s a bad date.
All images via SparkNotes