Tag: Bram Stoker

Five Sanguinary Dracula Memes

Dracula memes never die.

 

I mean… Yeah

I love vampire movies or whatever when this happens. They’re like… you don’t understand… a stake through the heart could KILL ME. I always want the humans in question to be like, yeah princess, me too. It’s like that post about how a duck could kill you. A stake through the heart will probably take care of most people. You’re not special.

 

Read Me

I’ve gotta love this take of his. He’s like, you absolutely read me for filth. You’re savage, and you’re right. Marry me. I mean, we stan that vibe. She’s mean and I love her? He drank his respecting women juice. I mean, I guess. At the very least he likes mean women. We as a society have slept on mean women for too long. Chef’s kiss.

 

Head Cannon

I like to imagine this is what happened instead of the coffin on the ship. Just exclusively nocturnal unicycling across europe. It’s not like he needs to breathe. English channel whom? He doesn’t need a boat. Plus, this approach is way more menacing. Also, accurate. Here he comes. Dat boi. What’s up? Nothing good, I can tell you that.

 

But Like… At Night

Honestly the last line is what got me. Like, no, you may not, but I love how natural they make it seem in context and then you’re like… ayeee…. you’re asking because you HAVE to. I mean, no, I don’t want to talk about dracula, but I’m never awake during the day anyway, and I could definitely put relative invulnerability to use. I’d at least give them my email address.

 

Bad Content

Honestly I kind of just included this one because I (love) hate it. Who made this, and so recently that it could be searchable? We’ll never ever escape from Shrek. This is how we live now. It’s all smash mouth, and swamps. I also just love the idea of how bombastic this is. It’s like the opposite energy of the original. Very weird.


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4 Best Facts About Bram Stoker

In honor of Bram Stoker’s  birthday here are the four most interesting facts about him.

 

Image via Encyclopedia Britannica 

 

4. Romance Extrodinaire

Stoker is an horror icon but for those read his other works wouldn’t know that he was a major romantic. His romance novel’s include, The Shoulder Shasta, The Watter’s Mou and Miss Betty.

 

3. Index Card King

He’s most recent book, well  by today’s standards was completely written on index cards. The book Seven Golden Buttons was published in 2015.

 

 

 

2. Bram Stoker v. Oscar Wilde

These two juggernauts knew each other and went to the same college in Dublin, Ireland. Florence Balcome, Wilde’s friend/ childhood sweetheart married Stoker and subsequently Wilde left for England. That must have been major tea back in the day.

 

1. The Bodyguard’s Ashes

Stoker died in 1912 and was cremated. His ashes are in the Golders Green Crematorium were you can visit but you have to be escorted. Either they are super tight around security there or is there’s another mysterious reason why they don’t want you to go alone?

 

 

 

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