We’re all obsessed with books. We all make terribly book based decisions. We all breathe deeply in secondhand bookstores. We all have so many books we’re likely to be buried in an avalanche and found only like a month later. Just me?

Is There One Where He Has Two Heads?

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Those books aren’t real. TBR? A whole shelf of options? No. I can’t read those, how would I even go about it? Let me just go to the library quickly. Let me just hit the bookstore. I just need like, one thing. In and out. What about the only book I don’t own?

Get Some Perspective

Image via Alex’s Advice

It’s all about perspective, you know? Maybe nothing is anything. This is the mentality that describes poisons as ‘forbidden foods’. Have you ever seen a book? Did you open it? “Just” a book? JUST? There’s a special ring of the sauna for you.

It’s Only 500 Pages

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People will get mad! I know you studied your whole life to read this fast, but I’ve just got natural talent and a high pony, and I am not intimidated. Give me the hardcover. Unless it’s for class. Homework? 25 pages will kill me. Don’t do this.

It Might Be

Image via Cheezburger

There’s a fine line here. Like, a really fine line. The number of stories I have to workshop that have zero description of the characters’ surroundings: I ask you, are these events taking place in a void? Is there just fog outside the immediate ring of characters? I didn’t expect to be that salty.

How Could You Do This to Me?

Image via Cheezburger

How could you do this to me? Like, actually how could you? The worst is when you get through a whole series and the end of the last book is the worst. All this time! All this emotional investment! And you’re going to let me down like this? I’d say I’m just disappointed, but I’m actually also very mad.

Featured image via Bookidote