Tag: albus dumbledore

Sorting Hat: Riverdale Edition

The Sorting Hat is very wise, and knows exactly where to place first years. He even takes requests into account, considering he was going to put Harry in Slytherin, but due to Harry’s insistence, placed him in Gryffindor. In the words of Albus Dumbledore, “It is our choices that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities”. So, I decided it would be fun to sort the Riverdale characters into Hogwarts houses. The characters are a very unique, and I am curious to see which houses they would be sorted into. Major spoilers ahead!

  1. Cheryl Blossom

Image via Decider

Cheryl Blossom is the HBIC, and she’s not afraid to let anyone know it. However, despite her queen bee status, Cheryl does have a softer side, considering her close relationship with her late twin brother Jason. His death really crushed her to the point of attempted suicide. Then, she showed us an even softer side when she revealed her crush on an old friend, and Southside Serpent, Toni Topaz. Cheryl was even a Serpent for a bit, and then she started her own gang for Toni when they were kicked out, called the Pretty Poisons. So, Cheryl is a bit hard to place, she is good but also rules the school with an iron fist if things don’t go her way, so I believe Cheryl belongs in Slytherin!

 

2. Toni Topaz

Image via Comicbook

Toni Topaz was a force to be reckoned with when she appeared on our screens in season 2. She started off as a Southside serpent, and befriended Jughead when he attended Southside High. Toni even posed a threat to Jughead and Betty’s relationship for a bit, but then she revealed she was really into girls, and set her eyes on Cheryl. She saw through her tough exterior and got Cheryl to open up to her and the two have been in love ever since. Unfortunately, since season 2, Toni hasn’t had much of a storyline, her on screen time consists of her being with Cheryl, and sometimes helping her out of situations. However, Toni is still a major force and isn’t afraid to put anyone in their place. So, due to her bravery, I believe Toni belongs in Gryffindor.

 

3. Jughead Jones

Image via FilmDaily

Jughead Jones is the writer of Riverdale and the King of the Southside Serpents. He does everything he can to protect his family and friends. He and his girlfriend, Betty, are also good at putting their detective skills to good use in solving the crimes that take over the town. Jughead’s sleuthing skills and overall intelligence landed him a spot at Stonewall Prep, which also led to him faking his death to put an end to all the wrong doings at the school and to put his classmates in their place. Jughead’s intelligence is what helps him solve all the mysteries in town and helped him figure out the mystery of Stonewall Prep, so I believe he belongs in Ravenclaw!

 

4. Betty Cooper

Image via DigitalSpy

Betty Cooper is a very interesting character. She starts the show as the sweet girl next door that has a crush on her best friend, Archie. Then, she befriends Veronica Lodge, and starts to date Jughead, as they dig into the mystery surrounding Jason’s death. As the show progresses, Betty becomes very strong willed and determined to right all of the town’s wrongs , especially when she cracks the case of the black hood and learns her father is the one behind the mask. She then begins to question her own mind and does everything she can to not be like her father. However, it doesn’t help when her mom sends her to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy or joins a cult, and she does her best to save her mom, sister, and her friends from the hands of Edgar Evernever. More recently, she helped Jughead solve the mystery of Stonewall Prep, and Betty is just another force to be reckoned with. She is the town detective and I don’t think she gets any sleep. So, due to her bravery and nonstop ability to right wrongs, I believe Betty belongs in Gryffindor!

 

5. Veronica Lodge

Image via Popbuzz

Veronica Lodge strutted into Riverdale season one as the new girl in town. She quickly befriended Betty and gave Cheryl a run for her money as HBIC, but Veronica has bigger things to conquer than the school hallways, like her father, Hiram Lodge. The battle for power in the Lodge family is never ending and Veronica is not backing down from her father.  She is doing everything she can to make a name for herself and prove to her dad that she doesn’t need him. It doesn’t help that Hiram framed her boyfriend, Archie, for murder and did a lot of other shady things in Riverdale. However, Veronica does get her business skills from her dad, at just seventeen she owns a speakeasy and has her own brand of rum. Her father tries to sabotage her businesses, of course, but Veronica doesn’t back down easily. So, I believe Veronica belongs in Slytherin!

 

6. Archie Andrews

Image via HollywoodReporter

Archie Andrews has changed a lot since the first season. In the beginning, Archie’s main focus was music and his secret affair with a teacher. Then, in season two, he became Hiram Lodge’s main target, considering he was dating his daughter Veronica. He was framed for murder, and in season three he went to jail for a bit until he was broken out. Ever since his time in jail, Archie’s main focus has been boxing, and doing the right thing for youth in his community. After his father’s death, Archie has also been focusing on keeping his dad’s legacy alive and doing what’s best for the community. He even moonlights as a masked superhero to help people in need and to put a stop to bullies and drug dealers. Archie tends to lead with his instinct and his fist, instead of logic and reason sometimes. So, I believe he belongs in Gryffindor!

 

Featured Image via TrendingNewsBuzz

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5 Philosopher’s Stone Memes

I know I know, half of you are scandalized, but today, on the eighteenth anniversary of the film release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, how am I supposed to bring sorcery into it? Apparently american children in 1997 thought philosophy was for nerds. You know what’s for nerds? Harry Potter. There are a lot of ways to reminisce about the only movie where they actually wear robes, but we’re internet people second, here at Bookstr. I think you know where this is going.

Flawless Logic 

Image via QuickMeme 

Alright, I was the same age as Harry when I first read this book, and not much older when I saw the movie, but what was Dumbledore’s thinking here? I admit I don’t remember all the details, but you basically can’t get into Gringotts, and you certainly can’t get out. And that’s under normal circumstances! They couldn’t throw another dragon or two in front of the thing? And let me ask you this: did they ever try dragons against Voldemort in the first place? I don’t care how much of an evil badass you are or whatever, what are you really going to do with ten tonnes of angry fire lizard in front of you? I know they threw dragons at children in the fourth book, but without warning? Please. I just want to know they tried it. And I know Hogwarts is supposed to be pretty safe, but even without all the later counter-evidence, I’d wonder. 

 

Actually, What Did He Do? 

Image via Inverse 

This is a dazzling take, obviously, and there’s a lot to unpack, but really it just made me wonder what Malfoy’s dad like… does. Sure, he’s a Death Eater, but not every second, and how much Death Eater work is there to do while Voldemort’s presumed dead? I know he’s very busy being privileged and racist and hearing about things Potter does, but what does he do the rest of the time? Just sit around the house being angry about things and making house elves miserable? For real, it’s never mentioned that he works at the ministry or anything. We really don’t know anything about how the Malfoys got so powerful, or about what they do now. It never bothered me before, but now it’s driving me crazy. I also absolutely love the suggestion that he invented toaster strudel. Invented it! It’s so random and so muggle centric. Priceless. 

 

More Great Ideas! 

Image via Inverse 

Alright, so you’re not allowed to go into the forest, because it’s STUPID dangerous, and you’d definitely die. Also, it’s even more dangerous than usual because someone’s going around killing and eating unicorns. Never go there! Wait, out after dark, maybe risking their lives trying to relocate an illegal dragon for the groundskeeper? Well, why don’t you do something even more dangerous for that very same groundskeeper? It’s like, oh, you’re smoking? How about some meth? That’ll teach you. I mean, I guess they learn something, but it’s not their lesson, I think the rest of the story can attest. And the second they’re in the forest, Hagrid is like, you know what? Let’s split the party. Best witch with me! Here’s my dog, try not to die. And then, not only are they in danger, but it’s literal Voldemort, running around in the woods right by the school. Who’s keeping track of school safety around here? 

 

We Don’t Judge. Or Use Judgement. 

Image via Inverse 

Look, I know the twins are chill as it gets, but they really should have noticed this. Don’t judge, that’s great! But bring it up, please? Did they see it and go “aww, Ron has a friend” like, shouldn’t they know there’s noone named Peter in his year? They’re only a year or so above, and there are like five boys in his class, how would they not realise? Especially when this guy goes everywhere with Ron? I know what you’re going to say. Why would they ever actively check where Ron is? Well, if they want to sneak out of the tower, wouldn’t they need to know everyone else was asleep? And why weren’t they even a little worried any of the times Ron was just AWOL in the middle of the night? I know they support making poor discipline related choices, but he’s a baby, aren’t they worried? Have they ever walked right past him when he’s in the invisibility cloak? What did they think then, I beg of you? 

 

Sass Trio 

Image via Someecards 

These nerds had their moments. We all like to talk about Harry, as we should. “No need to call me sir, Professor” was the line of a generation, and I like him telling Snape that Ron’s misspelled name is a nickname. They say a lot of stuff to Snape. But I don’t think Hermione gets enough credit. She has fewer moments, sure, but they’re absolutely metal. Remember when she bitch slapped Malfoy, muggle style? Your fave could never. And what’s Malfoy going to do, tell his father? Hi dad, today I was slapped at wizard school. It would never occur to someone who’s always had magic right there. I’m honestly just sad she never slapped him again. Oh, sure, she could outspell him too, she’s a much better caster, but there’s just such a big energy about hitting that dude in the face. Classic. 

Featured image via Tumblr 

3 Harry Potter Cover Redesigns We Need Right Now!

The internet is full of strange and wonderful things, and it seems like everyone online has more talent in their pinkie than I do in my whole body. I love it. There’s a wonderfully large community for book cover redesigns, and every cover re-designers should probably have professional book design jobs. You may ask, will we ever have enough designs for Harry Potter dust jackets? These artists don’t seem to think so.

 

1. Art Deco Redesign by asheaths on Tumblr

 

These are simple but punchy, and they would make beautiful display copies. The shelf envy would be so real. Designs for the spines weren’t included, but even stacked they’d be gorgeous.

 

           

Images via Tumblr

 

 

2. Stylized German Book Covers by Olly Moss

 

These designs may seem more traditional, but don’t let the clean simplicity of the art style fool you. Through details and color, these covers convey the feeling of each book like you’re reading them again for the first time.

 

 

Images via Tumblr

 

 

3. Glow In The Dark Cutouts by Kincso Nagy

 

The piece de resistance—cutout and luminous, these copies glow inside and out. Beautiful cutouts back by luminescent paint, popup illustrations, and pretty matte covers make these outrageously beautiful. I want a hundred.

 

 

Image via The Telegraph

 

 

 

Featured image via The Telegraph