Alright, so I don’t really think there’s stuff we’re not meant to know – vive la science! – but a lot of people were talking about aliens (and Monty Python – Twitter, never change), so here are some books about aliens to start knowing some things. Maybe. The truth is out there!
This is a great start for anyone who likes their sci-fi light and lush, with enough cyborgs, psychics, and space travel to satisfy more die-hard fans. Set in futuristic Beijing, this well wrought fairy tale retelling features plague, sisterhood, and a robot who’ll be your favorite character. What more could you want? Crime? Formal wear? A lost foot? All that and more, plus, your book hangover will be delayed for quite a while, because there are several excellent sequels and a delightful graphic novel companion series. And did I mention Cinder is a mechanic? She’s a mechanic. Heart eyes.
Quick question – are you ready to suffer? This is a good book, maybe even a great one, but it’s going to break your entire heart and not even be sorry. Two strangers, the only survivors of a massive spaceliner crash, try to find their way across an alien landscape to the ship’s wreckage and hope of rescue. An unlikely pair, an heiress and a former soldier must work together not only to survive harsh conditions on dwindling hope, but to discover the secrets of this planet, long hidden, and more lovely and terrible than they could have imagined. Like I said, this one’ll hurt, but read it anyway. It’s earned.
Confession; this one’s from my TBR. But it’s at the top of the list! Brutal, large scale war against terrifying aliens, an intergalactic university, and the terrible pull of leaving the Earth behind. Clocking in at under a hundred pages, this is definitely a quick read, but don’t worry about being abandoned – it’s the first of three novellas. Plus, we always, always stan a heroine who’s good at math. Isn’t that the dream? Be good at math, and risk death to go to space school? Don’t boo me, I’m right.
The Picture of Dorian Gray is a horrifying and hilarious masterpiece, and as with it’s author, every single thing about it is iconic. Sure, it might have been heavily redacted and then also banned, but there’s still a lot to unpack, and how better to explore gothic literature than through memes? You already know.
No Biggie
Image via Meme
This is when I admit that I never watched iCarly as a kid. Goodness only knows why, but I can see now that I really missed out. Still, the hilarity of trying to play off an ostrich needs no context, and recast as Dorian and his posse it’s a whole other level. Nothing’s up! Just being super normal over here, not selling my soul even a little. Anyone want a smoothie?
Show Your True Self
Image via Pinterest
I feel like this is a pretty modern take, actually. We’re the generation that can see a lizard just doing its thing and be like… “same, bro”. If someone had a horrifying portrait of themselves in their living room we’d think it was ironic or avant garde, or at least a big mood. What an eccentric he is! Plus, he might’ve shown a little more self control if he was looking at the consequences, even if he wasn’t wearing them.
Guess How He Looks Now
Image via Sizzle
I love how this trope started as clickbait and turned into a meme. Who cares about how child actors look now? Not me, and clearly not a lot of people, because it’s been eons since I saw a version of this that wasn’t a joke. Of course, this is a little funnier than the average fare, though. It actually manages to make me feel old, because I’m laughing at a Dorian Gray meme. No judgement. I’m just saying.
No Good Deed
Image via Gramha
You think you know someone. You paint them, you have all this sexual tension, you grant them eternal life, and what do you get as thanks? Nothing good, I’ll tell you that. It’s just like the saying. I don’t really have an excuse for using a meme this out of vogue, except to say that I still think it’s funny. We may all be used to airpods now, but I still accidentally talk to people wearing them. Not usually to warn them of their impending murder, though.
Art is so Powerful
Image via Tumblr
Basil really does get the treatment usually reserved for women burned as witches. Sure, he can do something supernatural, maybe, but on it’s face, it’s only helping Dorian. Like, no one made him act like a careless lech or drink all that. If I had a portrait that granted me eternal life, I don’t know what I’d do, but not what Dorian did for sure. Basil was just trying to be, you know, a bro.
BREAKING. It was just released today that Disney and Sony have renewed their vows and their son Spider-Man won’t be emotionally scarred for years to come. Tom Holland will of course return as Peter Parker in the third entry in the newest Spider-Man franchise and Kevin Feige will also produce the film.
Image Via BGR.com
“I am thrilled that Spidey’s journey in the MCU will continue, and I and all of us at Marvel Studios are very excited that we get to keep working on it,” Feige announced. “Spider-Man is a powerful icon and hero whose story crosses all ages and audiences around the globe. He also happens to be the only hero with the superpower to cross cinematic universes, so as Sony continues to develop their own Spidey-verse you never know what surprises the future might hold.”
According to sources, Disney and Marvel will receive 25% of all profits and are still licensed for merchandising.
The film is scheduled to release on July 16, 2021.
Tall Girl is the newest teen “dramedy” on Netflix. It was released to less than stellar reviews. There are many complaints about the movie but the biggest is that being 6ft 1 isn’t the end of the world.
Image Via Netflix
The main character of the movie, Jodi, is a junior in high school and towers over everyone. She is very insecure about her height, her dad is weirdly obsessed with figuring out how to to stop her from growing and she is into the hot exchange student who is with the mean girl.
There is a lot to unpack there but my review of this movie is literally, Jodi you are just tall. Of course, someone being tall can be a point of insecurity and she gets constantly bullied by her classmates which in no way helps her self-esteem. But the movie tries to convey this message in such a clunky way that it seems completely unbelievable.
Jodi conventionally attractive, rich, and talented. But she acts like her being a normal height of a little over 6ft is oppressive. Looking at the criticism for this movie, people are upset because people are dying and starving while Jodi acts self-centered rather than being grateful for what she has. It’s not her fault, she’s a character written this way. She has friends, one of whom is love with her, both of her parents in her life, a sister and the only thing “wrong” is that she’s a tall girl.
While My Life as a Zucchini or Ma Vie de Courgette is on the same platform it does an amazing job at showcasing worse situations and how they are overcome. My Life as a Zucchini is a french animated film which follows a nine-year old boy, Icare who likes to be called Courgette because his mom always did. He gets sent to live in an orphanage with other kids and his life is genuinely worse then Jodi’s but he doesn’t complain about his situation. It takes him some time to adjust but he gets used to his new life. And figures out how to make the most of it.
Image Via Rotten Tomatoes
Again, Jodi is a junior, in reality, if there was a 6ft 1 girl in your school, you would notice for maybe freshman year but then you go about your business. The way the filmmaker presented this seems so unrealistic. Did none of her classmates have anything better to do, then ask ‘How’s the weather up there?’ for three years? And the exaggerated shots they take and how they leave so much room above her head tries to trick us into thinking that she is taller than she actually is. Like she’s actually a giant If these were only done from her perspective to show how she sees people and not how other people see her the point would’ve been driven home better.
Instead of trying to date the hot guy who is also tall by the way, the story should’ve been about Jodi working on Jodi. Oh and for some reason, Stig, the hot foreign guy in question, is literally the only other tall person in the entire school. Are we supposed to believe that there isn’t a basketball team? Even in the well off-school, she attends?
And at the end, Jodi pulls a Mean Girls and speaks on stage at homecoming about how she accepts herself and how no one should be ashamed for being different. These are great lessons and in a better movie it could have worked but Jodi doesn’t earn this ending. She practically stumbles through the plot because quirky girls and girls who are so different from other girls get plot armor and barely learn anything, then she comes to this life-changing realization much to the surprise of the audience because of plot. It was unearned and shallow. I don’t mean to hate on this movie but it had some good bones and it could have been better.
On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, we watch as Courgette grows. He meets the other children, his caretakers, teacher and even gets bullied by one of the boys in the home. But he learns how to stand up for himself and has some genuine character development, unlike Ms. thirteen men’s Nikes.
I won’t spoil these movies but I highly suggest that you check them out if you want to see what I mean. I can’t give a more glowing review of My Life as a Zucchini. I watched it over the weekend, not knowing what it was and I was pleasantly surprised. And I think you guys will be too. It’s a beautiful movie so get your tissues ready. But if you want to read before you watch, the original book written by Gilles Paris , Autobiographie d’une Courgette is on amazon for you to buy.
Featured Images Via What’s On Netflix and Flixwatch
Everybody loves animals, even fictional ones. Whether they’re surviving fires or starting them, biting or putting up with the protagonists, or really good sports about villainous mistreatment, these animals are in it for the long haul. Here are some of our favorites, in no particular order.
1. Buttercup – The Hunger Games
Gif via Giphy
This cat’s been through a lot. Bombings, attempted murder, living underground. I’ve never even known a cat who could stand a closed door. Nothing impresses Buttercup. All he wants is to have his head pet and maybe some fresh entrails.
2. Drogon – Game of Thrones
Gif via Tenor
Who doesn’t want a dragon? Personally, I’d rather be able to breathe fire myself, but this is a close second. Our boy got LORGE. Plus, he survives the game of thrones. What’s not to like? I’d ask where my dragons are, but there’s no missing them.
3. Hedwig – Harry Potter
Gif via Giphy
She bite! Sure, Hedwig might not be the cuddliest of pets, but she can find anyone on the planet earth, and isn’t that worth more? Dignity, messengerial integrity, spots, she’s got it all. Plus, she survives longer than about half the human characters. Too soon? It’ll always be too soon.
4. Toto – The Wizard of Oz
Gif via Giphy
Have we left Kansas? Doesn’t bother her. Tornadoes, witches, Toto’s not afraid of anything. It’s also revealed in later books that Toto, like most animals in Oz, is capable of speech. She’s just not much of a talker. Still, her tendency to bite witches speaks loudly enough.
5. Max – How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Gif via Giphy
Has any pet ever put up with more? From the indignity of having to wear just one large antler, to the logistical challenge of having to pull an entire sleigh, Max always does his best to make the Grinch happy. One hopes he got a large helping of roast beef for his trouble.
