Mrs. Weasley

NSFW: 5 Torrid Sex Scenes Directly From Harry Potter Erotica

What if I told you there’s a whole world of fanfiction out there dedicated to sexualizing the Harry Potter series? Well, it’s there. And I found it. If no part of you is curious about this, turn back now. But if you’re vaguely curious about what your fellow Potterheads have invented, please continue. It’s hilarious.

 

1. Harry and Mrs. Weasley

 

VenomBat22’s Harry’s Sex Year is a proper novel. It’s essentially a 53,000-word sex scene in which Harry has sex with every conceivable character. One of the most quality scenes is between Harry and Mrs. Weasley, in which Mrs. Weasley blackmails Harry into having sex with her. Let it be known, this sort of behavior cannot and will not be condoned. In fact, I’d be inclined to agree with VenomBat22’s Harry when he says to Mrs. Weasley, “You are so devious!” Check out the scene here. For now, though, enjoy this brief excerpt.

 

He could sense that she was getting excited, so he picked up the speed on his licks. Molly shrieked loudly as he did this, even holding his head at her entrance. She rested her hand and calmed down, saying he was close. As he let her legs down, he was happy that he actually had a chance to be doing this, fucking an older woman. She kept her legs spread and Harry knew what she wanted.

 

2. Hermione and Neville

 

Following up his smash hit Harry’s Sex Year, VenomBat22 penned the epic Hermione Granger and the Order of Sex, in which Hermione has sex with a lot of people. In an attempt to form a covert wizarding army during Dolores Umbridge’s strict reign, Hermione scouts for recruits. Her first candidate is Neville Longbottom. He is, logically, reluctant to join the army. So, again operating logically, Hermione has sex with him. The ensuing sex scene is—well, I’m not sure if it’s good, but it does exist. It’s also weirdly moving. Here it is in its totality, and, again, here’s the wonderful way it ends.

 

“Hermione?”

“Yes?”

“That was…amazing!”

“It was that great, wasn’t it?” she chuckled.

“I finally lost my virginity to my crush.”

“You had a crush on me?” she blushed.

“Yeah,” he said nervously.

“I’m flattered.” he said kissing him. “I really am.”

 

3. Hermione and Draco

 

It would appear that fanfiction erotica circles are really into the pairing of Hermione and Draco (aka Dramione), which I now know. Cheryl Dyson’s “The Ladder” couples the two in a library. Things get risque. Draco refers to Hermione’s breasts as “cauldrons.” Dyson’s sex scene is a little anatomical, but she plays it much slower than VenomBat22. The result is a kind of biological description of sex between an unlikely pair, but it weirdly works. Below is an excerpt, but you can read the story in full here.

 

Malfoy’s hands gripped her thighs almost painfully and she wrapped her legs around his naked hips. He thrust forward in a fantastic rhythm, earning a cry from Hermione at every jolt of bliss, until an astounding orgasm exploded through her. She bit into the corded muscle that bound his neck to his shoulder, shuddering with the impact of his last few strokes.

 

4. Neville and Luna

 

In “What if I Do it Wrong?” writer snarkysweetness asks the important question: What does first-time magic sex look like? The answer is that it’s oddly endearing. Luna and Neville, in snarkysweetness’ eyes, are a patient, delightfully awkward couple. This is notably less graphic than the rest of the list, as snarkysweetness seems to have taken on the challenge of never using any words that mean penis or vagina. The scene might be a little too PG-13 to some readers as a result, but judge for yourself. Here’s the story in full, and here’s an excerpt so you can see what I’m talking about.

 

He moved his hand around until he heard another loud moan escape her lips. He rubbed the small area above where her opening was. Neville wondered what she tasted like, and hoped he got to find out soon.

 

5. Harry, Ginny, and also Draco

 

Yeah, so the world of Harry Potter fanfiction erotica is a large one that includes many different interests. TigerLilly8806’s “A Nightly Stroll” follows Harry on a late, sleepless night as he accidentally catches Ginny and Draco together in a classroom. Instead of being taken over with jealousy, he joins in. Again, logic is at work! In any case, the three have sex. Check out the story here, and here’s the really, really bizarre ending.

 

“You guys look cute together,” Harry said abruptly. Before Draco or Ginny could say anything Harry threw the cloak on again and slowly backed out of the room.

 

Feature Image Via Tor