Look, it’s been a rough year for everybody and I know not all of you bookworms will be spending Valentine’s Day with a special someone. Because there is no special someone for you. You’re alone. Might as well own up to it.
But the good thing about being alone is you can do things without other people’s’ approval. Here are several ideas for a single bookworm’s perfect V-Day…or let’s call it Me-Day (he wrote sincerely, unironically, to his deepest shame).
1. Couple’s massage
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Whether you admit it or not, you probably need a good massage. And everybody knows the best way to do it is to get a classic couple’s massage. You’ve heard good things. But just because you have nobody to spend Valentine’s Day with doesn’t mean you can’t experience a couple’s massage. Just bring a mannequin or something.
2. Ice skating
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There’s nothing a bookworm likes more than lightly gliding across lovely words. Due to this, they may also enjoy ice skating. There’s nothing quite like gently dancing across an icy surface on ice skates. It’s elegant, relaxing, and, yes, romantic. So strap on those skates and hit the rink. By yourself.
3. Go to the movies
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There’s something so wonderfully communal about watching a moving picture in a crowded room. Those images flashing by your eyes flash also by strangers’ eyes. A large crowd of strangers, none of whom you know. None of whom you’ve spoken to, let alone looked into their eyes. Or held their hands. Going to the movie theater by yourself may be the ideal way to spend Valentine’s Day. After all, the best thing to do after watching a thought-provoking movie is to not have anybody to talk to about it. Just keep your thoughts to yourself, bookworm.
4. Go to a nice restaurant
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Table for two, please! No, I’m not expecting someone. Is that okay with you? What’s your name? Okay, that’s okay, I’m sorry, I wasn’t hitting on you. Okay, that’s okay. Jeez.
5. Take yourself out to a fancy bar for after-dinner drinks
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Mmm nothing like a nice White Russian to wash down the taste of eating a delicious dinner by oneself. And the best thing about going to a fancy bar by yourself is you can just enjoy the alcohol without talking to anybody. Nobody actually likes going to bars to talk to people. That’s not what they’re there for. They’re there for drinking.
6. Take yourself back to your room
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Ah, yes. The day is done. It was elegant, relaxing, and, yes, even romantic. Now there’s only one thing left to do on your special Me-Day. You go into your bedroom. You hit the lights. You slip under the sheets.
Then you turn on your bedside lamp and take out your freakin’ book. Just, you know what, just read on Valentine’s Day. Okay? Just read a book and and and don’t do any of my other suggestions. In hindsight, they’re just a little sad.