Reader reading.

5 Times You’ll Wish You Had a Book to Save You

We have all been in those situations where we have thought “God, I wish I had a book right now.” Sometimes it’s only for the purpose of enjoying a book. There are other times, though, when those stacks of paper can come in handy.

 

1. Your Tinder date catfished you

 

It’s happened. It will continue to happen. Tinder is still blind dating. The only upgrade is that they might look like the hot guy you swiped on. This is not for one of those times. Keep the creeps away.

 

book cover

Image courtesy of Amazon

 

Book Suggested: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: The Universal Don’ts of Dating
 

This is a big hint to him. If he isn’t good at hints, claim you don’t speak English, laugh hysterically for an hour straight, or do something else to get him to leave you alone with your book.

 

2. You’re a detective, hot on the case

 

Whether you carve out the pages to hold a small camera, microphone, or other equipment to get damning evidence, a book can be very handy. You can also spare the book from mutilation simply by peering over the edge at your target.

 

book cover

Image courtesy of Amazon

 

Book Suggested: The Generic Book
 

This won’t rouse any suspicious. You are merely a man, a bookish man, eager to read this novel in whatever setting your case study is at.

 

3. You’re a stalker, hot on the case

 

Display your love for this person by doing the same things Edward does for Bella: sneak into her room, watch her sleep, keep tabs on her, and follow her. It’s for the best for your soul mate.

 

book cover

Image courtesy of Amazon

 

Book Suggested: Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1)

 

By carrying a romance book, you might instill the idea of romance whenever that person sees you. Create a Pavlov’s dog effect and this could eventually lead to them feeling love for you without you having to lift a finger.

 

4. You’re a concerned mom, hot on the case

 

The kids are out of the house. You don’t know where they’re going. You don’t know what they’re doing. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to track them down while away from the security of the house.

 

book cover

Image courtesy of Amazon

 

Book Suggested: Just Me and My Mom
 

Remind them of their dependence. Remind them how you cook, clean, wash, and can just generally be a wonderful friend to have at all other times too. “Mom” upside down is “Wow.” If you are unlucky and are caught stalking supervising your child, you can always break Just Me and My Mom out and read it to them.

 

5. You need to hide the banned book you’re reading under the cover of another book

 

We get it. You’re a reader…a smart one. That means you don’t listen to your teachers, and you’ll pick up that copy of Catch-22 if you want to.

 

book cover

Image courtesy of Amazon

 

Book Suggested: Banned Books: Challenging Our Freedom to Read 

 

Slap those oppressors in the face metaphorically with this book to cover your actual banned book. You can also use it as a reference should you need to defend yourself if you get caught. But, honestly, the really good teachers will understand the importance of books, no matter how heavy or banned they are.