To complement their wonderful albums, we need more work by these artists in which to immerse our lives. Here is a list of all the reasons why we want these autobiographies, even though some may be slightly impossible…
1. Jeff Mangum
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When listening to Mangum’s music (primarily his work with band Neutral Milk Hotel) you see the angle of our truly dark world romanticizing the terrible beauty of life. With lyrics like “how strange it is to be anything at all,” you know that he is capable of achieving masterpiece level writing. A reclusive artist, there is a lot of mystery surrounding this man. His fascination with Anne Frank, may imply that he has extensive and gorgeously written journals of his own. Might as well publish them?
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It’s bound to happen. No one loves Kanye like Kanye loves Kanye. No one understands Yeezus like the self-proclaimed God himself. I think it’s high time his disciples get some new scripture, or to quote Kim Kardashian “Bible.”
3. Vanilla Ice
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Vanilla’s hit ‘Ice Ice, Baby’ opens with a classic listen-to-my-fable line “Stop, collaborate, and listen,” and therefore it can only be assumed that Vanilla Ice has a background in literature. After all, he has a background in almost everything else, from being a handyman on a network show to attempting to be Amish. He most certainly has some worthwhile stories from these event. After also surviving a suicide attempt, it’s time “Ice by Ice” got a second edition from this rap artist.
4. Simon and Garfunkel
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Obviously we need these authobiographies as two separate texts, because there is no bridge on these troubled waters. It was burnt long ago, and we want to see that mental battle lived out from both sides through alternating chapters. It would be great if the artists evenly split the chapters, constantly rebutting and adding snarky comments to each other.
5. Kurt Cobain
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An outcast for most of his life, Cobain turned to books for refuge. His heartfelt lyrics and internal struggles lead us to believe he would have had one hell of a narrative, and probably lots of dirt on Courtney Love. If anyone has a working ouija board, we can even find out what nirvana is really like.
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